"For starters you can tell me if Conrad Henderson was my real father or not."

There were a lot of things I could have said at that moment of time and there were a lot of things I wished he would have said.

To be totally honest you've just got Punked! would have been my top choice but instead Alec just stood across me staring at me his face determined and expectant.

Well fuck.

How did he find out?

"What do you mean?" I finally manage to say,"W-Why me?

He scans my face and sighs and then reaches his jacket pocket an takes out an envelope.

A pink envelope.

That bloody bitch.

"Alec where did you get that?" My voice shakes despite myself.

"Read what's inside."

There is a note, of course written completely in pink.

Seems you've been having daddy issues lately, you're digging here and there and it's starting to get messy. Just ask you're pretty little blonde girlfriend instead won't you? Who knows what she may know?

P.S: I meant the uglier younger of the Wilson sisters, it gets really hard to keep track which one you're with right now.

I am going to kill her.

"During the reading of the will Mr Henderson left me quite a large sum of money." He starts,"For him maybe nothing but none the less large and with that a letter."

"Most of it I didn't understand at that time." Alec continues,"But he said that I was his son, a better son than Jake could be."

Bloody dickwad.

"I thought it may have been metaphorically But then he started talking about my mother, about how..." Alec broke off,"I didn't know what to think. So I went through my mothers things a few weeks back and I found this old envelope with a New York address which I checked was Conrad Henderson's old residence."

I keep quiet a billion things racing through my head.

"And then this letter came day before." He says,"I thought it was a joke for some time, but it isn't, is it?"

I look up at him trying to keep my face as steady as possible,"What else can it be?"

"Clara stop lying to me." His tone is harsh,"You owe me an answer."

"I'm not-"

"Clara!"

I jump back at his tone and I know he's angry, pissed even. Forget me cheating on him this was worse this was way way worse but this was not my secret to tell.

But it was his to know.

"I think you've lied enough to me." He says trying to control his anger,"Just for once, just tell me the truth."

"What, do you possibly want me to tell you?" I say,"The man is dead Alec-"

"I want you to tell me the truth." He says,"I want you to stop lying. I want you to stand there in front of me like the Clara I knew would and tell me the truth. She would know that you of all people have no right to keep this from me-"

"Yes!" I yell,"Yes Conrad Henderson is your biological father."

Alec takes a step back as if he's been shot. I try to reach him but he takes another step back and he looks hurt more than anything else.

"How long have you known?" He asks silently,"How do you know?"

I take a deep breath,"Alec let's talk about this-"

"I am not going anywhere until you tell me the truth."

"What truth do you want?" I say helplessly,"What-"

"I want you to tell me why you lied to me." He says,"I want you tell me why you cheated on me and most of all I want you to tell me why you didn't tell me about this when this was not your secret to keep."

"It's not my secret to tell either." I say quietly.

"It's him, isn't it?" He says,"Jake? He's the reason you haven't said anything. Did he ask you to hide this?"

Without even waiting for an answer Alec has already turned around. I'm frozen in shock staring after him unable to understand what exactly he was trying to do.

A wave of blind panic overwhelms me as I put two and two together and I force my feet forward catching up with Alec.

I grab Alec's wrist pulling him back,"Alec you can't." I say frantically,"You can't tell Jake, it will ruin him."

He laughs humourlessly,"Ruin him. Ruin him? It's not his world that's been turned upside down and yet all you can think about is him."

"That's not true." I say,"You have got to understand-"

"I don't understand." He interrupts,"My world around me is crumbling and the one person who I thought I could trust has been lying to me all this time. So tell me Clara what do you want me to understand?"

"I know Alec but I didn't have a choice." I continue helplessly,"How was I supposed to tell you? What was I supposed to tell you? Conrad Henderson may have been you're biological father but-"

"And who the hell are you to make that decision Clara?" He accuses and I flinch ,"Because it was not your decision to make and don't say you did this for me because you sure as hell did not."

"It was Conrad Henderson who told me, okay?" I say,"And even if I wanted to tell you I couldn't. He had made it very clear that if I opened mouth I wouldn't like the consequences."

He steps back so shocked that it completely wipes the anger from his face replacing it with utter confusion. I take advantage if that and grab his hand,"Alec please, I did it to protect you."

He rips his hands from mine,"Protect me? Are you even listening to yourself? Don't even start on this excuse. We both know if you really cared about me then you would have told me."

"That's not true-"

"Yes, it's true Clara." He says,"Don't lie to me. You did this for him, you're still doing this for him because once again you've chosen him over me."

"I chose you! I chose you!" I yell,"I couldn't tell you this because I was scared of what it would do to you Alec. I did this because I love you."

"I'm having a hard time believing that."

"Don't you dare." I say trying to control the tears that were threatening to spill out,"You can accuse me of lying and a lot of other things but don't you for a second think that you have the right of accusing me of not loving you."

We stare at each other silently his jaw set and his face torn between anger and pure despair.

"Then how could you do this?" He says softly,"How could you lie to me? How could you cheat on me?"

I look down unable to meet his eyes. We both stand in the heavy silence trying out best not to drown in it.

"He's been dead for a while now." Alec says,"Why didn't you tell me then? Why didn't you just tell me?"

I stay quiet staring at the floor.

"Do you know who sent this letter?" His voice is hoarse as if he barely has the energy to speak.

I close my eyes and give a small nod.

"Will you tell me?"

I shut my eyes and clench my fist tightly so much so that my nails dig into my palm.

"I-I cant."

He throws the letter on the floor and I flinch stepping back, my eyes still on the floor. He turns around promptly to walk away when I call out softly,"Alec, please."

He stops but doesn't turn around.

"You can't tell him." I say trying to keep my voice steady,"He doesn't know anything about this and he won't- he won't be able to handle it. If you love me-"

I pause for a second before taking a deep breath.

"If you still love me." I continue,"You will hate me for this, not him and not yourself. I can't tell you the whole truth even if I want to.If you love me even a little bit you'll just blame me and hate me for that. Just leave him out of this."

He stands there silently before finally saying,"I want to hate you, I want to hate you so so much but I can't. I can't because I'm in love with a girl called Clara Wilson. She's funny, she's smart and she was the one person I could depend on through everything. So I'll do it for her. I won't tell him for her sake, for the sake of the girl I fell in love with not for you because your are sure as hell not her. And until you find her and bring her back to me I can't even bare to look at you anymore."

This time when he walks away he doesn't stop even once. Mostly because I can't bring myself to ask him to.

________________

I'm surprisingly calm for the remainder of the day. Everyone steers clear of me in school clearly talking about me behind my back about the Natalie incident.

It's nothing short of a miracle that no one heard the conversation I had with Alec. No one suspected why he skipped the last two periods.

Although if I'm being perfectly honest I doubt their guesses would involve it was because he just found that his girlfriends ex who happens to be his step brother in reality is his actual half brother and his girlfriend knew all this while.

I answered all the questions thrown my way, I said yes to the two girls I've never known invite me to their party because all of a sudden I'm their new queen after Natalie got dethroned.

After school I went and asked Samantha for a ride.

She looked nothing short of shell shocked but she agreed. Rebecca was going to sit and watch Jeremy practice so Samantha could use the company, at least that's what she said.

It looked like if she had a choice she would have run away from me. Not that I blame her. I would have run away from me. But if I had that luxury I would have done it ages ago.

"So what's up with the pink envelope?"

I break out of my thoughts startled as I look at Samantha.

She juts her chin out pointing to the envelope which I had been subsequently crumpling and smoothing in my hands.

"Nah, it's nothing." I say.

Samantha nods getting the hint. That's what differentiated Rebecca and Samantha so much and at that moment I couldn't have been happier at that difference right now.

"So are you going to the game tomorrow?" She asks her eyes still focused on the road,"I hear it's a big game for Alec."

Which I may have just potentially ruined with a shake of my head.

"I'm not sure." I finally say,"I've been sick these past few days and I don't know if I'll be able to make the two hour journey there. Forget actually have it in me to cheer of anything."

And obviously there is the fact that Alec would probably throw a football at me if I do go, he probably wouldn't but if I had been his place I would.

"I think you should go for Alec." She says,"But I feel you, I hate football."

"I know." I say,"It was at the top of the list of reason why I should stop pining after Alec."

"Huh?" She says clearly taken aback.

"Yeah I think it was somewhere in third position after the reasons, Michella and Natalie, I don't know which one came first though." I say.

"Well things change, don't they?" She says,"You're with Alec and you just decimated any social standing Natalie had claiming the queen bee title of our school."

"Huh?"

"That's all everyone could talk about after the entire incident." She says,"They worship you, all of them. I was actually asked thrice what colour lipgloss you use."

We both stare at each other before we burst out laughing.

"Good god." I say relieved that some of the pressure on my chest has lifted,"I hope you said, black. Black like my soul."

"Please if I said that the emo kids would have become all to happy." She says,"I think I said something along the lines of Sparkling fuscia."

"Sparkling fuscia?"

"Sparkling fuscia." She says,"To be honest I was tempted to it take any random lip gloss out and start selling it. Trust me it would be the easiest 100 bucks I would have ever made."

"Now that's pushing it."

"Our school is filled with rich petty girls who want to be anyone but themselves." She says,"And currently they all want to be you. I mean who wouldn't? You've got the money. You've got the brains. If you actually make an attempt you could probably put all the plastics to shame and not to mention you've got the hot billionaire ex. And the cherry on top that you snatched Natalie's position as well as her boyfriend. And not only any boyfriend but our schools quarterback Alec Evans.So yeah I'm pretty sure I would have easily made a hundred bucks."

The slight resentment in her tone stings and I have to look out to try to make an attempt to calm myself.

"What are you telling me that I'm wrong?" She challenges her sudden mood swing starting to annoy me.

"Yes you are." I say.

She snorts,"Clara it's not exactly a bad thing-"

"You hate those things Samantha." I say,"So don't tell me that when you said all of that you didn't mean it as an insult."

"Okay maybe I did." She shrugs,"So what?"

"Is that why you've been acting so weird lately?" I ask,"Because you've been jealous?"

Her face goes green and she shakes her head,"I'm not jealous of your popularity, Clara."

"Are you sure about that?" I say,"Because you want the damn thing you can have it. I don't want to be popular. I don't care. I just want to be left alone."

"God, you think you're all that don't you?" She says,"The holier than thou person who thinks she's too good for all of us."

I'm too stunned to react as she continues,"This is exactly what drives me nuts. It's like you think you're better than everyone with your whole I don't care about popularity-"

"Why do care that I'm popular?It's ludicrous" I interrupt trying not to delve into just how ridiculous this entire conversation was,"You don't care what people think -"

"I lie." She says,"I lie, I do care okay! I do care what people think about me."

And them suddenly everything clicks to place. Her awkwardness, her avoiding me and her resentment.

She was acting exactly like me, the old me.

"People or person?"I ask quietly despite myself as she finally stops the car in front of my house.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"When you say you're jealous of my popularity you mean to say that you're jealous of all the attention in getting, mainly from a boy who I didn't get it from before."

We stay there in silence when I finally ask,"How long?"

"How long what?" Her voice is shaky.

"Just how long have you been in love with Alec?"

The silence in the car is almost deafening.

"The n-night I came crying to you." She starts,"I told you that I slept with Jeremy. I lied."

Okay now I was actually going to be physically sick. I open the door of her car getting out of it and almost sinking to my knees on the driveway.

"Y-you slept with Alec?" I say and then I shake my head,"You lost your virginity to Alec?"

"I couldn't tell you so I told you Jeremy." She says,"And the reason I wanted Rebecca to stay away from him was because he was the only other person who knew and-"

She cuts off seeing my face which probably displayed the mix of emotions that was running on fast forward in my mind.

"You can't judge me on that" she replies,"You slept with Jake-"

"Yes! Yes! I fucking slept with Jake Henderson because I was in love with him." I yell,"Get over it."

"You clearly haven't." She states.

I sigh,"Is this where you're going to give me a lecture saying how you deserve Alec more than i-"

"Don't be stupid." She I interrupts,"If I really thought that then I would have told you this long ago. Cause you and Alec are effing perfect for each other. No wait- you're perfect for everyone aren't you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It's exactly what it sounds like." She snaps,"How can anyone even compare to you? The smart, pretty, rich blonde? I didn't tell you because I knew it wouldn't mean anything to him. After all you've loved him for so long and it was only a matter of time before you got together."

"Pushing you towards Alec was the only way I can convince myself that I can't compare myself to you. That the two of you are perfect so I'll get over him because I don't stand a chance."

"But you're not all as holy and virtuous as you're decked up to be are you?" She accuses,"You're a lying cheating whore and you're so clearly using Alec that everyone can see it except you and him."

Her eyes are blazing and I can see that she mirrors the exact same expression Alec did. Disappointment and rage.

"You were better Clara." She says,"That's the reason that night when I came to crying I wanted to tell you everything but I couldn't."

"But now that you're with him and I can barely look at you at times knowing just what a bitch you are." She says and then laughs with no humour,"But he's still in love with you."

I can't wrap my head around just how messed up this exactly is.

She's in love with Alec.

She deserves Alec.

I don't.

"What exactly are you trying to prove Samantha?" I ask coldly,"That you deserve him more than me and like some crazed girl you're going to take him from me just because you slept with him once? Seems kind of pathetic doesn't it?"

Her mouth turns into a smile but it's anything but friendly,"Yeah it seems like I'm pulling a Clara Wilson here. But unlike her I don't get things as easy."

The words hit me so hard that I almost stumble back. I have to physically keeps self from bawling on my driveway while collapsing into a big mess.

She echoes everything Natalie has said to me almost word to word and I realise just how angry I am.I had come to my tipping point. It wasn't because she was in love with Alec in fact I was disturbingly okay with it in fact at this point the fact that she slept with Alec is not even that shocking.

It's almost as if I expect him to do it, first my ex best friend, then my sister. I mean statistically Samantha has a special spot reserved on that list.

But I was still mad and it was the fact that she had the guts to come up to my face and tell me that I had it perfect and easy.

That I got everything I got everything I wanted.

I was angry because I knew exactly how untrue that was.

"Yes Samantha I do have the perfect life." I say coldly and rather stiffly and somehow the next words that follow aren't quite mine,"And I want you to get the hell out ofit."

I don't tell her just how much I need her to be there.Just how far from perfect my life really was but I didn't care at that point.

I never had my parents but I had lost Natalie, my sister, I had lost Jake, I've almost most definitely lost Alec so it was only fitting that Samantha would follow and maybe after a while Rebecca.

So this time I was not going to fight it, I was going to leave the door wide open and then kick her out.

She steps back trying to mask her sudden hurt and shock but she regains her cool quickly,"Gladly Clara, have fun pretending that what you're doing is okay."

If I don't then I'll fall apart at the seams and this time there would be no one to help me stitch myself back together.

So I stand there in my driveway unmoving as Samantha speeds away.

And then I somehow tell my feet to work and take me towards the house. I open the door much more violently than needed and slam it shut with a loud bang.

My eyes then travel to my hand in which I had tightly clutched the pink envelope and then I reached for my mobile.

At that point I would have done anything to crawl under my bed sheet and never come out again.

But I couldn't do that to Alec.

I sigh as I dial a number I wish I had never saved.