SORRY NOT PROOF READ WILL EDIT SOME STUFF LATER.

RECAP: (My advice read the last part of the last chapter before this) So Clara is dating Alec and she's determined to ignore Jake until in the last chapter he comes and stands out in the rain and tells her that they were real and she's leaving. He kisses her and is about to leave when Clara asks him to stay. He leaves in the end only saying two words to her. Also Kevin is the boy who Jake got in a fight with at the start of the book around chapter 18ish.

NOTE: So this chapter is probably anti-climactic so sorry about that. It was actually split into two parts because of the sheer length and this one I'm not kidding is kind of boring but important so I'm sorry. The next update will be coming on Saturday so yay.

P.S that gorgeous drawing on top is made by @theresahib

"I-I don't w-wa-want to talk about it."

Rebecca doesn't say anything to my statement which I manage to stutter out through my chattering teeth but simply hands over a towel and my pjs.

I'm grateful for the silence as well as a little weary but I take what I get and go to change.

I took a shower in the hot water too just to stop myself from shaking.

Half and hour later when I come out Safe Haven is over and Rebecca is staring at her phone screen eating my share of the popcorn.

I sit next to her on the mattress not saying anything she glances at me and her eyes narrow.

I prepare myself for an onslaught of advice as to what a terrible person I was but instead she says,"You lucky bitch."

"What?"

She looks at me,"You heard what I said."

I look at her blankly,"I know the what part I'm sill trying to figure out the why part."

She looks at me thoughtfully for a second,"When were you planning to tell me that you were still in love with Jake?"

No.

This is not happening.

"I'm in love with Alec." I say monotonously.

"Correct me if I'm wrong but the boy who stood in my yard, in the rain I may add the one that you just kissed did not look like Alec."

"I love Alec."

"Yes,but-"

"Then stop." My voice come out a little more forcefully.

"I can. My question is can you?"

"What is that supposed to mean?" I say.

"What happened out there?" She asks.

"It doesn't matter."

"Try telling that to your face." Her voice then softens,"Look I know you don't want to talk about it but unless you say it loud you're not going to accept it."

"Maybe I don't want too."

"You're going to have to."

I hesitate for a moment look at her.

"He came to say sorry," I say slowly,"And that w-we were real."

I stop and Rebecca looks at me,"Go on."

"Look it doesn't matter he's leaving anyway." I say getting up.

"What?"

She looks shocked,"What do you mean he's leaving? You're going to let him?"

"It's not up to me to stop him."

"And you're not going to try."

I look at her helplessly,"I tried. I-I tried."

"And he's not staying."

"I don't know."

"Do you want him to?"

I need him too.

"I don't know." I say,"It's better if he doesn't."

"Only for Alec."

I snort,"I don't think Alec is going to care. Especially when he dumps my as when I tell him about the kiss. I'll deserve it too."

"You're going to tell him?"

"You wouldn't?"

She sighs,"It's a kiss. It's not that you slept with him."

My mouth drops open,"Are you seriously kidding me?"

"I mean it Clara." She says,"It's a kiss. Did it mean anything?"

"You and I both know the answer to that."

"Will you do it again?" She asks slowly.

I look at her offended,"I didn't want him to kiss me. I will never ever do that to Alec."

She shrugs,"Then don't tell him unless you want to break up with him."

"Of course not!" I say,"I'm in love with-"

"I know Clara you've told me a billion times that you love him. You've convinced me so who are you trying to convince by saying it again and again?"

I look at her silently.

"If this happened to you and Jeremy would you not tell him?" I ask.

She looks at me unsurely,"No. Not if it meant losing him."

"So what am I supposed to do?" I say frustrated,"Lie to him? Act as if everything is okay? I can't lose him. Hurt him when there is no chance whatsoever because-Rebecca oh god."

She raises an eyebrow as she asks,"Who are you talking about?"

I look at her helplessly,"I don't know."

I get up from my position and start walking around,"I can't forgive Jake. I can't even think about it. What is wrong with me? He left me, he- oh god what the hell am I doing? I just cheated on Alec-"

"Clara!" She says,"Calm down."

I stop staring at her and look down at the floor as she gets up from her position.

"You need to pick." She says,"You can't just expect to have them both because you are going to end up hurting them both."

"So what do I do?"

"Let Jake go."

I turn around staring at her with wide eyes,"What?"

"You heard me." She says,"Because you love Alec so much why are you asking him to sit and watch you flaunt his step brother in front of him?"

"B-Bu-"

"Or you could tell Alec the truth and face the fact that he may leave you." She says,"And since history has shown that you can't let go of him, let go of Jake-"

"I can't, I can't, I can't." I scream,"I can't let go of either of them."

I sit down with my head in my hands,"If he leaves Rebecca I'm not sure how strong I'm going to have to be not to go after him.

"You can't expect to have them both."

"But you can't tell Alec that you kissed Jake."She continues. I start to say before she shakes her head,"Look. Hear me out. I'm not telling you this because of Jake you need to sort your feelings for him."

"But you need to understand that if you tell Alec tomorrow and it throws him off his game then you're going to literally be the cause of making our school lose it's chance to play offs. Forget that, next week Alec has college scouts if he doesn't win this one then-"

"I jeopardised his entire future." I say,"I will ruin everything."

She looks at me thoughtfully for a minute,"You're going to have to clean up this mess. But as of now just sleep on it."

I give her nod silently as we settle in our respective beds and I turn the other way, my eyes wide open and my min going a million miles an hour.

"Clara?" Rebecca asks after a

"Hmm?"

"Will Jake stay?"

"I don't know." I say closing my eyes tightly,"But what he said what was true. If I wasn't this damn selfish I would have let him go."

"When you asked him to stay what did he tell you?"

"He only said two words." I say my hands clenching into fists and my eyes squeeze shut tighter.

"I shouldn't."

_______________________

"Hey babe."

My heart quickens it's pace and I let a forced smile on my face. I turn around and look at Alec who is standing in front of me.

I wrap my hands around him and he smiles. He's in his football gear his face streaked with yellow and blue the colors of the Seaview Lions.

"You look handsome." I say my forced smile melting into a real one looking at the dimples on either side of his face that I had been seeing since the day he had moved next door to me.

"You're a pretty girl aren't you?"

I look up at the lady who currently is standing at our doorway and blush.

"Are your parents home?" She asks next and I look at the lady I've never seen before in my life, suspiciously and give her conspicuous shake of my head which says no.

"Mommy!"

It's a boys voice that rings through from across the driveway and the lady turns to see a little boy about my age about five years old running towards her.

He runs up the stairs to our porch and grips her legs as tightly as possible and starts crying out loud.

I sit there silently and watch as the mother pulls him up laughing.

"Alec I told you I was just going out." Her smile doesn't leave her lips as the boy continues to cry.

"But daddy said you had l-le-left me and gone away." He hiccups.

"Well, daddy was just joking." She says,"You know how he is."

The boy finally stops crying and nods his eyes search the porch and then they land on me.

I look down ashamed as of I wasn't supposed to be listening to what they were saying.

My grandmother comes out at that point,"Arabella so great to see you here. It's about time I got some decent neighbours."

The lady laughs and sets the boy down. I can still feel his gaze on me but I'm to shy to look up.

"Come on in." My grandmother says leading her inside.

"I think Alec would much rather stay here." She says smiling and then disappears inside the house.

I go back to playing with the dolls trying to ignore the boy who was still standing there.

"Hello."he says and I look up but then almost immediately look back down.But he's stubborn and sits down in front of me and pouts.

"Why won't you talk to me?"

"Im not supposed to talk to strangers." I say quietly.

"But I'm not a stranger, I'm your friend."

I finally look back up at me and he's wearing one of the biggest smiles I've seen and he has huge dimples.His eyes are scrunched up because of the sheer size of his smile and I find myself smiling alongside him too.

"My friend?" I say.

"Yes, I'm your friend."

I look at him confused,"But I don't even know your name."

He nods,"My name is Alec."

"Alex?" I say unsurely and he shakes his head vigourously.

"No. Alec. A-L-E-C." He spells it out proudly and then grabs my hand and draws a C on it,"Alec. With a C"

He then looks curiously at me asks,"What's your name?"

I look at him unsurely once again and he pouts,"You can tell me, I'm your friend."

"Clara." I say and then grab his hand and draw a C on it,"Clara with a C."

"Clara?" His voice brings me out of my reverie and looking at him I find myself comparing him to the boy who stood in front of me and demanded that he was my friend. He had been in my life since that day. Coming in and going out and now that he was finally here to stay for good by telling him I would lose him in one go and I'm just not ready to do that.

Because if I tell him now, I'll lose him for good.

I want to tell him the truth.

But I'm too much of a coward.

"Excited about the game?"

He shakes his head,"Nervous actually."

"You don't have to be you know?" I say,"You're an amazing quarterback."

"Says the person whose been avoiding me the entire day."

I bite my lip knowing he was right.The entire day I had been avoiding Alec with everything I had in me. It was mostly to mentally prepare myself to tell him the truth but then whenever I was almost on the verge of going up to him and telling him Rebecca's warning rung in my head.

And that's when I realised how I hadn't seen Jakes car anywhere in the lot.

He had left.

He had really left.

Again.

After that my day had gone in a blur and I barely registered what going on. I kept staring at my phone contemplating wether to call him or hoping that he would call telling me that he had just overslept and he was on his way to school.

But may be it was for the better. I didn't have to tell Alec the truth and neither did I have to lie to him because when Jake was out of sight he was out of everyone's minds.

Everyone except mine it seemed.

"I'm just sick." I say,"Got soaked in the rain yesterday while doing some errands, don't even ask."

It was the semi truth, after realising that Jake had gone I had actually felt physically sick and wanted to throw up.

"Have you seen Jake anywhere today?" Alec asks and I shake my head.

"I really am sorry about yesterday." He says and my stomach twists into a knot again.

"You have nothing to be sorry about-"

"No just hear me out." He says,"I know I was stupid just to assume that you would do something and I trust you, I really do it's just that I can't help being paranoid."

"But I trust you I really do-"

I kiss him before he can finish. At first it's just to make him stop but I melt into it and I remember that I do really love him because he was my safe place.

He always had been.

Someone clears their throat and we both jump back. Seriously can't a girl catch a break?

I'm in full mood to give one of his nosy friends a piece of my mind telling them to go kill themselves but when I see who it is I stop.

He stayed.

He stayed.

He stayed!

Jake has a slightly amused smile on his face as he looks at us. His nose is completely red as if he has a bad cold.

"Sorry for the interruption." He says,"But the coach is on a hell path trying to find his captain."

Alec's smile fades and he curses as he looks at his watch,"Shit! Is that already the time?"

He then looks up at Jake curiously,"Why were you late today?"

Jake smiles a bit,"Got drenched in the rain yesterday and caught a bad cold so Ashley gave me some really messed up medicine so I overslept."

Relief crashes all over me as I process Jake standing in front of me. I would have probably jumped and hugged him had Alec not pulled me into another kiss and smiled as he says,"I'm going to win this game for you."

A wave of guilt washes over me as he gives me a last smile before giving Jake a curt nod and breaking into a small run as he turns the corner to head over to the field.

Jake's smile immediately vanishes and he is about to start behind Alec when I say quietly,"You stayed."

He stops his back towards me.

"Would you believe me if I said that tried my best not to stay?"

"Should I?"

"Don't because I didn't even try."

I smile as he walks ahead and turns the corner.

"Thank you." I say to the empty hall.

__________________

Standing in front of the bubbling beaker I could not for the life of me figure out what I had been high on while taking chemistry as a subject.

"Don't drop." I mutter as I pick up the beaker whose contend had become a bright blue color,"Don't drop."

I manage to mix it carefully holding my breath and the mixture spurts and changes dramatically into a black one.

I set it down immediately and scribble down all my observations before handing it over.

Mrs Yetern sits and reviews it and nods approvingly as she puts a giant red A on it.

"Good job." She says grudgingly as she regards my work. She'd undoubtedly given me a hard practical but it was good because now my grade would return back to it's A because of the sheer difficulty of this practical as compared to the other one.

I nod as I reply,"Thank you."

Im about to grab my bags when she says,"Mr Henderson has asked for a change in class."

I bite down on my tongue hard and stare at her with the most neutral expression I can manage to keep on.

"I don't suppose you'd know as to why would you?"

"I don't have the faintest clue." I say and she stares at me intensely her black eyes boring holes into mine.

"Miss Wilson how many times have you come to make up for extra credit all alone?" She asks nonchalantly.

"Thrice." I say after thinking for some time and she nods.

"And do you know out of those times how many time have you broken anything?"

I stare at her in confusion and stutter out unsurely,"I'm not to sure."

She smiles,"Zero. Not even once. Makes you wonder doesn't it?"

I stare at her confused trying to figure out what she's trying to say but suddenly a loud cheer from the grounds makes me jump.

"You better go now." She says,"I'm pretty sure you won't want to miss the rest of the game."

I exit almost immediately glad to be out of her scrutinising gaze and run down the hallway.

I stand still for a moment hesitating in my decision wether to go to the game or not but in the end I just decide to go for it.

I owed Alec that much.

The crowd is on it's feet when I reach and its roaring. The game is clearly at it's climax and the scoreboard says that there are four minutes left and the opposing team in possession of the ball is down by seven.

I spot Rebecca in the crowd right in front jumping with everyone else. I prefer to stand at the back where no one can see me on the far side of the entrance looking at the field,rather than risk going up the bleachers and potentially falling off it.

I do a quick scan and can see both Alec and Jake next to each other and Alec is talking to him but Jake doesn't seem to agree with him. He glances at Kevin for a moment before giving Alec one final nod.

The other team is almost near the touchdown line just a few yards to go and they still have a good three minutes to go.The coach blows the whistle and immediately the ball is displaced and there is an immediate rearrangement of people.

I can't really make out what's going on because they've moved to the far side but the whistle blows and the score equalises which could only mean touchdown. The teams once again huddled and the tension was clear in the air because they were was one and a half minutes left for the lions to score a touchdown or face extra time.

For some reason my gaze locks on Kevin, as they disperse. He heads over to his position looking quite pissed. Standing from my point of view I can see his hands behind his back pulling up the number three with his fingers.

Just then Jake comes up in front of Kevin switching places with the wide receiver standing across from Jeremy.

Wait, what just happened?

The other team is also seemingly confused at the sudden change of position and the game starts and the ball is thrown to Jake who easily catches it and runs before passing it to Jeremy. The ball is carried to just a few yards away from the touch down line and there is still a good part of a minute left.

The teams once again huddle and break but my eyes are fixated on Kevin. There was something really fishy going on.

The game starts once again and the ball is passed to Jake who catches it. The other team were clearly expecting him to throw it back to Jeremy but he simply fakes it and runs for it himself.

And this time I find myself shouting with the crowd to screaming at the top of my lungs.

He's almost at the touchdown line when he's tackled brutally. The noise instantly dies down and it takes everything I have to just stand there and watch.

But he gets up the next moment and for just that one second his eyes meet mine behind his helmet and he gives a small nod before turning away.

I let out a breath I didn't realise I had been holding and I have to clench my fists tightly just to calm myself down.

Seriously what the hell is wrong with this country? They enjoy this sport really? Cause all I'm really seeing is a new inventive way of getting hurt.

Forget inventive it's barbaric.