We stand quietly both of us glaring at each other. Neither of us were willing to back down.

"You owe me at least that much to hear out what I have to say." He says.

"I don't owe you anything." I spit,"Because I don't recognise you anymore."

He looked at me blankly. His face had done what it did best wiped itself of any emotion or any hint as to what he was thinking. His eyes were dark indicating the frustration and anger his face couldn't.

"Why did you come?" His voice was harsh and cold and any hint of the playfully teasing Jake had disappeared.

"Because I wanted answers." I state.

"Why?" His voice was demanding,"Why want answers about things you can't handle?"

I bit back my lip trying to find something to say to him but I drew up blank because he was right.

Why was I seeking answers?

Why would I get myself involved in any of this if I didn't care?

I cared.

I still do.

More than I should. More than what's definitely good for me.

"I don- I don't know." I say finally looking down.

He doesn't say anything and we stand there for a few moments unmoving in the silence that weighed down our thoughts.

"Come with me and I'll explain. " He says calmer this time.

"What could you possibly say to explain?" I counter still looking down.

"Maybe nothing." He insists,"But if you are really going to judge me based on this then I think you should know just how bad this is."

I stay silent but I already know my decision. Despite everything that I had come to know I didn't feel even slightly unsafe.

"Fine." I say despite myself and every sane thought that was telling me to walk away,"Explain."

___________________________

We were back in central park at the ice rink. It was deserted now at about eleven in the night on Christmas Day where everyone was happily having dinner with their families at home or were out partying with their friends.

I on the other hand was standing near a deserted ice rink with my fake boyfriend who happened to be my my crush's soon to be step brother and lets not forget he was mixed up in a gang to be a part of the plan to kill his father.

I mean wow.

Just freaking wow.

At the start of this senior year I was a good girl whose most exciting night would have been talking to Alec now in the span of one day I had not only ridden a motorcycle through the busy streets of New York but had also transformed into a girl who wore red lipstick and make up and basically flipped off her sister in front of her mom. Oh and lets not forget the pyscho ex whatever all decked up in pink who turns out to be the daughter of the gang leader who is currently using Jake to help kill his father.

And people call their Christmas exciting.

"How did you reach the club?"

It was his first words since we left the club. He hadn't spoken to me during the entire cab ride and although the silence was suffocating me. I needed it to clear my head and it took everything in me to not run away and forgive him at the same time.

"I followed you downstairs." I respond,"Spencer handled the rest."

Jakes blank expression doesn't change.

"How much did she tell you?"

"Enough."

He sighs and closes his eyes breathing in the cool air.

"I wasn't going to do it you know." He says slowly his eyes still closed,"Maybe at one point there was a possibility but I could never live with myself."

There is silence again until I decide to break it.

"That's what Spencer thought. That you wouldn't be able to live with yourself."

"And what about you? What did you think?"

I sigh looking at the deserted ice rink leaning against the railing,"Everything I thought you were was shattered back there. I didn't know what to think and I still don't."

He looks down finally opening his eyes.

"I don't have a lot of friends you know." He says softly and I raise my eyebrow slightly.

"Because you steal away all their girlfriends?" I say sarcastically and he lets out a small hint of a smile.

"No." He says,"Its because as a kid I was never very good at making conversation. When that changed my father literally screened all my friends. He dictated who I could be friends with who I could date. I stopped trusting people after that."

He pauses for a moment.

"My father and I had never really the best of relationships and it consisted of me getting into trouble just to piss him off."He continues,"I'm not proud of the shit I did. When I was fifteen I got hauled up for a drug raid in which I didn't even have anything to do with. I think in those six months I had been to jail more times than anyone cared to count but my father always bailed me out."

"My mom on the other hand couldn't stand being near my father. In fact they only really started being cordial and civilised with each other after their divorce.You should have seen just how happy she was when I told her that I had caught my father cheating on her. It was her out. She didn't have to keep up false appearance anymore or pretend to like him."

He stops and stares at the icy ground beneath his feet.

"It pushed me over the edge. The day my parents hugged and greeted each other like friends when they were finally free of each other I did something very stupid. I got my hands on something that I shouldn't have and when I went to confront my father about it he simply dismissed it and I got angry. That's when I heard about Eric. He was known to be involved in the dirtier more dangerous parts of the city and had a lot of connections. I knew he had a sister and with some research I found her hoping to get to him."

"What did your father do?" I ask interrupting him,"what could he has done that pushed you over the edge so much so that you actually wanted to kill him."

He takes in a sharp breath and finally looks at me. His green eyes are panicked and torn as he they try to make a decision.

"He- He." Jake stammers at a loss for words for the first time in his life and thats when I'm sure that no matter how angry Jake was or what his father had done he would never ever do anything to harm his father because I was right. Jake was good, he just had trouble seeing and sonetimes so did I.

"He has another family." Jake finally lets out and my eyes widen.

"I found letters and notes that were exchanged between him. It said that she was pregnant." Jake was speaking really fast now as if he needed to force out everything which he had kept to him self for a very long time,"Both of them were married as far as I was concerned and through out the years they kept on sending each other letters. Her last one writes about how she wants to leave her husband and come live with my dad."

He stops to force in a breath.

"That's why I originally went to Eric, to find out about the other family. Eric was good at what he did and within days he had all the information. The woman had died a few years ago in an accident. At first I didn't think much of it but I remember how my dad was missing for that entire week without telling any of us anything. It coincidentally matched the same week of her death."

He let it hang in the air and didn't say the rest but it was very clear as to what he thought.

"You-you think your father ki-killed her?" I stammer unwittingly trying to wrap my head around something so completely messed up.

Even Gossip Girl wasn't nearly as scandalous.

"For my father its always his company. He is power hungry and anything that's an obstacle will be forcefully pushed out of his way if not blown out. This lady was indirectly going to expose him and he couldn't afford that."

"What about her kid?"I say,"Did you come to know anything about-"

"I don't want to."He interrupts firmly,"I don't. Honestly speaking I don't think I can look at someone knowing that my father had probably been responsible for his or her mothers death. I can't live with that."

His hands are propped up on his knees and he is balancing his head on his palms. His eyes are trained on he ground and his black hair is messier than usual as it covers his face.

"At first the plan was never to kill my father it was to snatch the company away from him. To give him some sort of punishment or something. But my reasons were selfish. I didn't do it because of what he had done but because I thought it was a way to redeem myself. It was a way to prove that I wouldn't be like him."

"As the plan escalated Eric got his father involved. My father had made enough enemies to last a lifetime and their main agenda was to see him dead. At that time I couldn't think straight and I went with the flow. All I could think about was that and I cut myself off from everyone. When my mom decided to move I threw a big fit but she put her foot down and forced me to come with."

"Honestly getting out of there was my first priority but then I realised who my next door neighbour was."

I blush slightly at the last part.

"So basically you stayed there to make sure that my life was hell?" I ask smiling just a little.

"Yes." He laughs slightly at that and I roll my eyes.

"You really need to get your priorities straight."I state and it's his turn to roll his eyes.

"What can I say? You are my top priority."

I'm not sure if it's a joke or not but after that I can't think of anything else to say. My mind flitters back to everything that Jake has said and honestly it's making my head spin.

I don't know Conrad Henderson and honestly? I don't want to either.

Can you promise me that you will stay away from my father?

It was an odd request that Jake had made but a one I fully intend to keep after hearing whatever Jake said.

I'm still not sure how to deal with the whole Eric and Spencer business.

"Please tell me you don't intend to go back there." My voice is pleading and thin.

Jake runs his hands through his hair,"I don't have a choice Clara."

"We all have a choice Jake." I say,"You don't want to do this so why not just break off and try to forget?"

"It's not that easy."

"So what are you going to do?" I ask,"You have to stop this."

"You think I don't know that?" He asks,"I was going to tell them that I was backing out."

I rub my temples,"Jake you need to get yourself out of this hole."

"I know. Thats all I've been trying to do since I realised that-" He stopped midway as if he had just realised what what he was going to let slip.

"I mean I've been trying to do it ever since I came to New York."

"Jake how are you going to-"

"I have a plan okay? and I will get out." Jake looks at me earnestly.

I look at him contemplating as to whether I should call his bluff or not. But I know there is no pint in doing so because Jake has a limit to sharing and I'm sure he has reached the point.

"Thank you." I say at last.

He raises an eyebrow giving me a tired smile.

"Thank you for what?" He asks.

"For telling me." I reply,"For making me not give up, for actually making me listen and hear you explain."

A smile tugs at the corner of his mouth and he says,"Maybe I should be thanking you for not giving up on me."

"That's true you don't make yourself easy to trust." I say,"But you asked me to make a promise to stay away from your father and I will but you need to make me a promise too."

"I doubt you're going to have trouble staying from my father after what you've just heard."

"Its me." I deadpan and he lets out a chuckle.

"Thats true." He says.

"You need to promise me that you will never ever give me an excuse to run away."

His eyes widen in surprise and he looks genuinely shocked as if he never expected me to say that and frankly I never thought I would say it either.

He grins and gives me his trademark smirk,"Wilson if I didn't know better I'd almost think that you are flirting with me."

I quirk an eyebrow and say,"Well maybe I am."

He was silent for a moment before finally answering,"I promise. But if I were you I would run in the other direction, as fast and as far as possible."

It barely takes me any time to answer as I say,"Yeah well I've not been exactly making the best choices."

"Why do you want me to stick around?" He asks genuinely looking baffled.

I look at him giving him a small smile,"I'll tell you as soon as I figure out."

But that was a lie. I had already figured it out. I had figured it out the minute I had found out what Jake was doing. In the club when I found out about what Jake was doing I didn't bolt because I was scared or revolted as to what Jake was doing. A small part of me was scared of him, scared of what he maybe but the larger more dominant part wasn't. And thats what scared me. A guy who I had almost complete and utter faith in even though proof was right in front of my eyes.

After that everything that came out of my mouth was a feeble attempt to convince myself that the I wasn't that far gone. I mean for an ordinary girl a guy with a father who was a cheater and a murderer and the fact that the guy was mixed up in a gang which was trying to kill his father would have definitely been a stay away signal but for me all it did was draw me in further and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get away.

And it scares me that I was that far gone.

But the thing is that I didn't care anymore.