It felt bittersweet. While I knew I was going to come back I didn't know for how long. This weekend would change a lot for me. I didn't want to leave all my friends and family but no matter what option I chose I would be leaving someone behind.

"Hey don't worry about anything ok? Have a good time this weekend. No matter what you decide I'm here ok?" Trevor wrapped his arms around me.

Lately things have been rough between us but mostly just because we are both so busy. He's got his own things going on with his family and I have been busy with my family. I love him and I know that no matter what we'll figure this all out. If I choose to go to New York I know it won't mean the end for us.

"Thank you for being here." I smiled.

He had insisted on being the one to drive me to the train station. My mom has been in complete denial that this is happening and is refusing to admit I might decide to live with my father. I understand that it's hard but she won't talk to me about it at all. My brother had offered to drive me but Trevor quickly volunteered to take the job from him and he was happy to let him.

My brother had been really warming up to Trevor lately. Ever since Trevor came by after my parents split and just laid with me while I hid in my room Jackson has seemed to be in more supporting our relationship.

"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else." He leaned down and gave me a quick kiss.

"You've been everything to me lately and I don't think I'd be out of bed right now if it weren't for you."

"I don't think you're giving yourself enough credit. Ella Winters you are one of the strongest people I've ever met. I didn't do anything, that was all you." He grinned down at me.

I didn't want to leave him. I really didn't. If I could just stay in his arms all day I would. But I had to face my reality and go to New York. Trevor wouldn't be here forever. He'd be off in the army doing what he wanted and right now I had to make sure when he is gone that I'm doing what I want. I can't make this decision for other people, I have to make it for myself.

"I'm going to miss you." I sighed.

"Me too." He pulled me closer to him, not wanting to let me go.

"I love you." I closed my eyes and just enjoyed this moment.

"I love you too," he kissed the top of my head. "You better go and have enough fun for the both of us."

"I will."

"Promise me something?" He pulled away and looked at me.

I nodded.

"Don't factor me in ok? Go have a good weekend and decide if you want to move there but don't let me hold you back. I promise no matter what nothing will change this so follow your heart and make this decision for yourself."

I knew part of me was already telling myself not to go. I wanted to just stay with Trevor and spend the last summer before we would go separate ways together. I wanted to cherish all our time together but if he wanted me to make this decision without him as a reason to stay I'd do my best to honor that.

"Ok." I agreed.

"We will have a lifetime to spend together so don't worry about the time we might not get if you go to New York. I can already see you overthinking and worrying in that cute little head of yours."

"I'm not worried." I denied.

He gave me a skeptical look.

A voice rang out over the loud speaker letting me know my train would be arriving shortly. I had to say goodbye to Trevor.

"I'll see you in a couple days." I told him.

"I'll be right here." He pointed at the ground. "Literally, I'm picking you up on Sunday night."

I shoved him lightly.

"I can't wait until then." I pulled him down and gave him a goodbye kiss.

It was short and when it ended he just held me for a couple seconds longer.

"Don't miss me too much Winters." He chuckled.

"Trust me I won't." I winked and grabbed my bag.

I knew I had to walk away. If I didn't do it now I didn't know if I ever would.

"Text me when you get there so I know you're safe." He said.

I nodded and turned to walk to my train.

I didn't let myself turn around, I just walked. It was only one weekend but this weekend would determine how much time I am going to have with him before we both leave to start our futures.

My phone buzzes in my pocket and I stop to check it.

A smile spreads across my face and I can't stop myself as I turn around to see Trevor standing exactly where I left him. He has the biggest smile on his face and he waves at me.

I wave back and answer his text with a I love you too.

I'd miss him but it was time to go.

—

I exited the train and looked around the station. He said he was here waiting for me. I got onto my tippy toes and peered around again.

A hand stuck up and waved at me. My dads face lit up with a smile as I made my way towards him.

"How was the ride?" He asked.

"It wasn't bad, not too long." I answered.

"Good, now how about I show you around the city?" He led me out of the train station.

"Sounds fun." I nodded.

My dad started to list off the things he wanted to show me and the places he thought I'd be most excited to see. He seemed super excited about this visit and was dedicated to getting me to fall in love with the city and want to stay with him. I did love the busyness and chaos that came with walking through the city but I had so many things waiting for me at home.

I didn't know how I was going to be able to make this decision.