If Ella could face her mom then I could to. I didn't want to allow myself time to talk myself out of it so I was going to do it right when I got home. It was going to be like ripping off a bandaid.

When I walked into my apartment I was grateful to see both my parents laid out on the couch together.

My mom looked up at me and instantly shot up and raced towards me.

"Did you have a good time?" Her arms were already around me when she spoke.

"Yeah." I nodded.

She pulled away from me and gestured for me to join them in the living room.

"It looked like you guys had a good time, Amy sent that video of you and Zach." My dad chuckled.

"Oh I think I need to watch it again." My mom beamed and grabbed at her phone.

"I really don't think that's necessary." I shook my head.

She laughed and put the phone back down on the coffee table.

"I'm glad you got to go and have some fun with your friends." She smiled at me.

"You want to stay and watch the end of this movie with us?" My dad asked gesturing to the tv.

I needed to talk to them. I had to discuss my plans for the future even if it meant breaking my moms heart. I hoped that she would understand and would support me through everything. I didn't really have doubts that she wouldn't but I knew it would upset her.

"I was actually hoping to talk to you two about something." I said.

My father sat up on the couch and paused the tv. I don't know if he could tell but something in his face told me he knew it was serious.

"You can tell us anything." My mom reached out and grabbed my hand.

"I was thinking about what I wanted to do next year." I started.

I took a deep breath. I just had to say it.

"Oh that reminds me, you got a letter from one of the colleges you applied for. I left it on the dresser in your room." She informed me.

My stomach dropped. I hadn't forgot that letters were going out and I would probably be getting them soon. It was really now or never.

"I don't think I want to go to college." I blurted out.

They didn't seem overall shocked. My dad just nodded.

"Do you know what you want to do instead? College isn't your only option." He asked.

This was it, I couldn't hide what I wanted any longer.

"I want to join the army."

The words hung in the air. I saw my dad reach out to grab my moms hand.

They were silent, just stared at me for a second.

"You what?" My mom seemed to finally come back to reality.

"I know this is probably not what you wanted to hear but it's what I want to do." I wanted to hug her, I wanted to know she would be ok with this.

She stood up and just looked down at me for a moment. In that moment I saw the wetness in her eyes, she was going to start crying.

"I just-," Her voice broke and instead of finishing her sentence she scrambled off the her room.

My dad looked between the door that just shut and me a couple times and sighed.

"I'll go talk to her." He said softly.

I wanted to say something, ask him how he felt. I didn't. I let him walk away and go and comfort his wife. I thought we'd talk more, I thought something would be resolved. Now I just felt lost, I couldn't enlist if this was how I was leaving. I couldn't leave knowing it would destroy my mom.

I sat in defeat for only a couple more minutes. I knew part of me was hoping their bedroom door would open and my dad would walk out and tell me everything would be ok. When it was obvious that wasn't going to happen I fled into my own room.

I wanted nothing more than to just sleep the day away and hope that tomorrow would be better but a letter caught my eye. It was the one my mom had said she left for me. The one that would tell me if I got into college.

It was just our local college, nothing crazy but it was something. My backup plan just incase my mom doesn't come around.

I ripped it open, the contents were packed neatly in a folder. I had gotten in, this was my chance. Do the safe thing, do the thing that would make my parents happy. I could go to college and make everyone happy. I'd probably be able to find a path there I'd enjoy enough.

I tried to think about it for a second but I knew what I wanted. No matter how much it hurt my mom I wanted to join the army. I wanted to serve this country. This has been the dream that I thought about most nights when I let myself envision what my future might look like. I had always seen myself doing something to help others and this was my way of being able to do that.

I didn't know how long I had just stared at the acceptance letter. The knock on my bedroom door took me out of my thoughts.

My dad stuck his head in.

"You can come in." I told him.

He pushed the door all the way open and walked in.

"Is this what you want to do?" He asked.

I knew what he was talking about.

I nodded.

"Then do it, your mom will come around. She needs time to adjust but she wants you to be happy. If this is what you want we are not going to be the ones to stop you." He told me.

I sighed with relief. Maybe I'd get that future I always wanted. I knew deep down my mom would be ok, without my dad telling me so but hearing him say the words was exactly what I needed.

"Thank you dad." I walked over and hugged him.

"I love you Trevor." He smiled.

"Love you too."

I'd talk to my mom about this but I needed to let her calm down and really accept this before I swing another conversation on her. I'd give her the time she needed.