ld never miss the heat, regardless i do enjoy the after glow of the sun.

I stare at my drafts and after sending it to the board, they loved the jersey line. The first release sold out in three hours. Four hundred thousand pieces sold out in three hours.

And it's no news Lucy is my inspiration, sometimes i wonder if I'm obsessed with him.

Its been a few months we've been officially together and the fan loves us, it's exhausting. And I'm really tired of our recent promotion, the only best side is that i get to be with him.

It's so different with us now, he's more open to me, less detached and i love it. We probably spend all our free time together and I want to go on a vacation with him once he's done with his season.

Right his season.

It's less than a week away and even if we keep side stepping it's he's going to be gone for six whole weeks, and I'm going to be all the way across the world in china for the new reaslse of my partnership with Bass Zinc Incorporate

We've both been side stepping the topic we have, I'm not sure how we're going to this.

Because lets face it, I'm sort of obsessed with Lucy, I'm hotheaded and i tend to overthink and create crazy scenario in my head.

And I know what their team after parties and celebrations look like, my older brother is in the NBA please I've seen enough of him on the internet to know.

Girls, booze, drugs, especially the girls and those extra flirty one.

He hasn't even told me he loves me.

Stop!

It's what it is but i can't escape the fact that, i keep holding back on saying it too and it's getting worse and worse.

And maybe just maybe its scarying me.

My phone buzzes and my head whirls a bit when i see that Lucy has used his codes into my estate. I look up immediately and he's walking through the door into my bed room.

"Fuck Aya! For Gods sakes why weren't you answering your phone?"

Oh God!

My eyes run down his body, he looks so chaotic.

He has his hoodie inside out and he's wearing two different Dior slides granted they're both black. His hair is in a rough man bun that only him can make work, so I assume he rolled out of bed, saw i was gone, dressed in a tornado and came here.

"I was working i got carried away" I whisper dropping my sketch book, standing and despite my pounding heart and trembling hands, I move and tug on his hand to my large couch sitting him down and settling on his lap folding my legs and snuggling into his chest.

"Why did you leave?" I can feel his tense body, succumbing to relaxation.

"Stop worrying"

"Damien Malik is on trial, he escaped from police custody you're expecting me not to worry. Aside from that you just left my bed this morning like.... why did you leave?"

"I wanted to get things done, i was going to call you when I was coming back. I thought you would sleep in" I mumble running my forefinger on my cupid bow.

"What the fûck is wrong Foxie? Why are you lying to me?"

"Nothing's wrong and you smell good, seriously stop worrying" I try to laugh it off.

But he tilts my head up to look at me and tugs on my hair tie wrapping it around his wrist. Those eyes are already pushing me down the cliff into his arms, yet i still feel like I'm drowning.

"Something is wrong, I don't know what i did, or whoever did, but you have to tell me right now so i can fix it. What the fuck is wrong? Please just tell me. Did i do something?"

I shake my head, but he frames my face tucking my hair behind my ear. My heart is pounding way too loud.

What the fûck do i say when his eyes makes me feel hypnotized. I want to tell him all my secrets.

"Is this about last night?"

Please!

I completely freeze and look away. Why did he bring that up? What is wrong with him.

Fûck!

I'm suddenly so uncomfortable and tensed.

"I uh... Need to curl my freezer, i mean uhn iron the ceilings! Fuck what is wrong with me?" I bite my bottom lip, moving to stand on my feet but he doesn't let me.

"Talk to me Foxie, don't pull away. Is itwrong that we made love last night? Was it wrong or..... I don't know this shït and I'm trying to see where your head is at but you're blocking me out and I can't read you. Was it not okay? I mean you came four times, you kept demanding for Jesus and shit.... just tell me what's wrong. Was it bad or not?"

Bury me now!

"No it's not that, i mean it is but it's not" I squeak.

"What are you saying? You want to put me on some sort of püssy drought?"

I cover my mouth "Pûssy drought?" I can't tell if he's just trying to make me laugh, but i do laugh

"Yeah, Shawn said something about little Grey doing that to him couple of times. Please do not put me through that unless we're miles away from each other or you want my balls to frost over, to blue and fall off."

I start laughing because he's an idiot and he said it so seriously "You have on two different slides you know that right?"

"What's wrong baby, just tell me? Why does making love together makes you run away from me?"

My face bloom and being under those intense green makes me tremble.

Making love? Making love?

Seriously why did we do that. I don't know how slow fuvking, deep gazing, soft caressing torture can be so much more impactful than rough fücking. How did slow fucking fûck with my head so much?

I felt so vulnerable and exposed, and God so much more inlove with him.

He was so gentle and anchored to me, yet so intense. I felt too much at once like he was trying to tell me something. And it really messed me up, God i was crying and i told him i love him over and over again.

He never said it back.

So imagine the irony making love to someone you aren't even inlove with it.

Felt more of collecting love, even though he was so gentle and sweet to me.

I just don't want us to do that again. If being in love is one sided he can fûck me all he wants, but that shït we did last night, it's more draining that none stop rough sex.

There's still that strain in my chest.

"Foxie tell me. Was it really bad? I mean you were crying. Did i hurt you?"

I shake my head no hesitantly not really sure how to answer that.

"Then what is it? Was making love too much?"

"Yes" I nod licking my lips.

"Why?"

I shake my head blinking back tears "Because I love you Lucy"

He stiffens but relaxes, if I'm not mistaken be looks relieved, happy I think about this disclearation "And that's good right?"

"But you don't love me. Lucy it hurts to do that when you don't even love me. I hate to sound like some clingy needy bïtch, but it hurt a whole lot, i- I don't..... Fûck I've been holding back from saying to you for months now. But it actually hurts and it's exhausting"

"I did notice, the uhn you holding back I noticed. I'm sorry, I'm an idiot. I just.....you foxie" He shakes his head disbelievingly. "Fuck.... why? How can you even love me?"

He whispers the last part, and I blink at him at loss and so baffled. How? Seriously how?

"How can i not?" I whisper back.

He just stares at me, and I'm trying to read him and guage his expression and reaction. He look lost, so lost and confused.

"Foxie" He sigh, shifting and making me move on top of him "How..... do you know you love me?"

He genuinely wants to know, and i just remember Greys words telling me my type of normal is so different to him, so new.

"It's easy" I whisper taking his hand "I'm at my happiest when I'm with you, I could sit a whole day cuddling with you doing nothing and it would still feel so fulfilling, I don't know how i can make you see you from my eyes, because loving you came literally out of nowhere but, it's the surest thing i feel. You're probably stuck in my head, my thoughts revolve around you, you make me giddy and give me butterflies. You treat me like some goddesses and kiss me like I'm a wish, and you make me so insane and and... soft... If the world was ending I would still want some sort of forever with you.

Your laugh makes the world seem like there's only good in it, when you give me those long big warm hugs when I'm frustrated it's like heaven came down for me, and when you hold my hand I never want to let go, and sometimes when i catch you staring at me and you smile i just want to say screw it I'm giving this man babies even though I never want kids. You're good, you're passionate about me, and i see you everyday trying and making all this changes for me because you want better with me for us.

It hard not to love you, i wish you adored yourself the way you adore me so maybe you would see a fragment of what i see when i look at you.

You make me better, you've encouraged me with my work and you've stayed after witnessing my period mood swings so how can i not. Maybe I'm feeding your ego but you're worth it, i would pray again and again for this in my next life if you're not in it. I just.... I love you"

I finish off, feeling hot tears falling down my face, knowing fully well I could go on for hours talking about it, about him. I wet my lips looking at our joined hands and noticing how tense he is.

He tips up my chin, his eyes dancing across my u features, his pupils are dilated and he looks so dark and brooding. He brushes softly on my tears and he looks like his heart just broke.

"Would you still love me if you knew the things that i did?"

"Lucy...."

"You know I've kîlled before, and I know that scares you. If i told you all the shit I've done! All the shit i still get my hands into would you still love me?"

I suck in a harsh breathe, exhaling hard then framing his face.

"Have you ever killed anyone for no reasons whatsoever?"

"Don't make me..."

"Just answer me"

"No!"

"Did you ever do drugs?"

"No, at least not deliberately by my knowledge"

"Have you ever beaten a child or a woman senseless?"

"Jesus no!"

"Raped a woman? Or even a man? Anybody ever?"

"No"

"Tortured anyone before?"

"Yes"

I nod "Have you ever intentionally hurt anyone for no reason?"

"No, and I know what you're t trying to...."

"I would still love you Lucy, today, tomorrow, the next day, next week, next year, forever I would, even if you never love me back or I don't agree with some of the things you do, I would still love you" I tell him then I press my lips to his.

I caught him off guard but he kisses me back, and i feel him struggle with himself, with all of this, but i tug his hair. Pressing my body to his and coaxing him to give in.

And he does, kissing me like I'm a wish.

Gripping on my hip and moving his hand up to cup my breast, i moan against his mouth straining against him.

But i pull away first, standing to my feet and taking off my shirt. His eyes bulge like he doesn't see me naked almost regularly.

But he grabs my hand when i move to tug off my jeans. Standing and pulling me to him.

"That's my job" He rasp hotly to my ear, and i get impossibly wetter. He cups my heavy breast fondling it and making me press into his hands.

Then he tugs down the zip of my jeans, he visibly groans when he finds me naked underneath.

"I'm going to fuvk you bent over this couch, until your püssy strangles my cock in an orgasm and you will chant my name like a spell, not God, not Jesus! Me. Then...." He pause his chest heaving he fist on my hair and pulls my head back gazing at me as if he's at complete loss.

"Then I'll tell you everything and you'll get to decide if you still love me"

I move my hand around his neck feeling the need to reassure him, my naked breast squeezing against his chest when his hand brands around my body.

Going on my tippy toes i pull his head down to mine and peck him softly "If it had an off button I wouldn't have loved you anymore after smelling your fart"

I nod stroking his hair.

He laughs making me giggle

"I love you Lucy so much, I don't think anything you could say would change that"

I move my hand down, pulling back and start to unbuckle him.

I nearly spraind my wrist but I managed to unbuckle him. He chuckles at my clumsiness, spinning me around and as he put me on my knees on the couch bending me over, i shiver in anticipation.

My hair cascades down my face but i run my hand through it, my senses hightening.

And he doesn't do anything, if i didn't sense his presence I would think he just left and bolted out the door.

"Lucy"

Finally finally i feel his hand on my butt cheeks, taking a fistful of the flesh, kneading it making me bite my bottom lip.

"This ass, this fücking sexy ass drives me crazy" He tells and his thumb on my butthole making me jerk a little but he trails it down my püssy lips, thrusting inside my sleek heat, he pulls out then rolls on my clit.

"So soft, fat and fücking sexy! You always deliberately do that thing in the morning during my conference meetings where you just wiggle them through the sheets and i have to grab my cock to keep from nutting all over myself" He rants almost angrily as if relieving the memories of me teasing him

He continues to thrust his thumb in and out of my heat, so that my moans are deep but quiet as i feel my orgasm bubbling.

He squeezes on the flesh globes of my ass, and i feel his mouth cover my clit and hum, he pull out his thumb thrust two fingers inside me and scissors them.

I almost break my knees as i expload in his mouth, i grib on the back of the couch so hard, my acrylics almost rip the material as I cry out his name.

He continues to suck up all my juice and release, making loud noises against my püssy and making me clench.

"Fuvk!" I pant, when he finally pulls away. "That was......"

I don't get to finish what I'm about to say because his cock plunge inside me, making me lurch foward, and my breast bounce from his assults. My words fall out as a gasp and I really struggle to breathe as he gives me time to adjust.

"You love this postion don't you?" He grunts cupping my chin and delivery anyone vicious thrust.

"So. Fucking. Much" I respond with a gasp from each thrust. My mouth falls open and I squeeze my eyes shut from the intense pleasure

Gripping my hip, he leans his body against my back, bitting on my ear lobe, and really starts to go to work on püssy.

"You're such a dirty girl Foxie, you like being fûcked like a wild animal but you're my dirty girl" He growls hotly in my ear.

His cöck continues to pistol inside me until our sound defeans me, my whole body keeps lurching forward with how hard he's driving into me.

My püssy squeezes around him, pulsing and clenching and wetness trails down my thighs. The sensation is too intense, and i keep choking on my breath with how hard he's fücking me.

He cups my breast and fondles it roughly, he pull out to his tip then plunge his full length so deep inside me that i fall foward, my hand gives out and i cry out his name so loud.

"Oh yes! Lucy! Oh yes!" I chant blissful tears raining down my face. He doesn't even give me time to orient myself he just keep going like a fücking horse

And fûck i love it!

His balls smack my clït repeatedly intensifying the pleasure, our loud moans fills the room and my whole body feels like it's about to explode.

I bow my head arching my back "Lu-lucyyyy! Fuvk!"

My orgasm crashes into me with such unapologetic force my whole body trembles as I explode squeezing around him.

Honestly i also go deaf because i hear him talking about being his bad girl cumming and strangling his cöck but they're so dim in my head

His hand wraps around my body, cupping my breast and tugging my nipples his movements never falter and he moans sweet filthy things in my ear, even though I'm so limp in his arm and i feel like I'm going to pass out.

Another orgasm starts to chase it's way down.

I feel him swell inside me, before spilling his hot cream and setting off another orgasm from me

My eyes rolls back and he jerks every drop inside me, his thrust a little sloppy now.

Our harsh breathing fills the room.