convince myself. He slumped and he fainted.

After my frantic scattered mind finally conjured enough sense to call an ambulance it didn't go through. Lovely isn't it! 911 couldn't go through.

Screaming at my phone in rage my mind finally opted to call little Grey with his phone.

She didn't pick up either, but picked up the second call on the fourth ring.

"I'm sorry Nik, we got a little preoccupied on the way" She grumbled "We packed everything and I hope you're holding off fine. Are you laying down right? Do you remember the excersis I asked you to do to slow it down? Nik-?"

"I-i something happened......"

I proceed to tell her what happened, I hear his brother yell through the phone and she tells me they're not too far from us.

I kept thinking that something was wrong with him judging by what Grey was just saying, is he sick or something?. And I didn't even notice.

They are here now, Doc is on his way and Grey is upstairs with him because she knows stuffs about his condition.

I go back upstairs, i can't go in yet she told me not to. I keep pacing back and forth unable to stay calm. They literally met me in my towel because I refused to leave his side.

Now I'm dressed in his shirt, my mind is over working and I can't stay still because this is my fault, he was shaking so much today, he looked clearly tired and out of it but I just kept pushing and pushing!

I didn't even notice! I just thought he was tired because he didn't get enough sleep and I kept going at him, questioning and accusing him, i even slept in his arms and he wasn't even okay.

What happened?

What is wrong with him?

Does he have a heart problem?

I'm such an idiot!

What it he dies!

No no no!

Idiot fool idiot fool!

You two have been fücking each other and you didn't realize something was wrong with him.

"This is your fault!" I turn to my side to find Shawn walking towards me glaring dagger, he's been on his phone since shouting orders to who knows who.

"You're constantly putting him in a hospital bed! You don't know him yet you're here pretending like you do. And he just keeps doing all this shït for you yet the slightest chance you get! You're running. You don't know him little girl you don't! So if you know you can't take whatever happens stop fuvking hurting him! Just get the fûck out and leave! You're doing more harm than good and pissing me the fûck off! If his condition gets worse you better believe I'm coming for you!"

He storms inside afterward into his room, and I don't even know if I should go in and check on him.

My heart is racing, and i know he's right, i do. But it's not like it's been easy for me either Nikolai never told me anything. I wipe my stupid tears pushing my hair out of my face.

I cover my mouth to muffle my sob, i just kept yelling at him and going off. Blinded by my own rage and pain I didn't notice his own pains and battles, it is my fault but i love him! I love him so much.

I know they are more family to him than i am, and everything is screaming at me to just walk out and leave. But I don't do that.

I push the door open despite Grey telling me to wait and that she would come get me when she's done. I leave the door slightly agile remembering the codes.

"He'll be fine Shawn, I promise it's just discontinuation syndrome and Vertigo, and well arrhythmias and deviations in his blood pressure. But he'll be fine."

"Baby, you're even sugar coating, that's not all. We've been going back and forth to take care of him and it's her fault he should just completely end things with her! I'm so tired of it. If I had known helping him set this place up for both of them to come here would result to this I would have never done it! And she doesn't even know shït"

"Stop! You say it like she physically pushed him or something. It not her fault. Shawn you and i aren't roses and a calm storm all the time we fight too-"

"I've never put you in a hospital bed! Well not directly....."

"Neither has she. We're not in this relationship with them and I'm sure they both have their faults. You need to put on your extra large big boy panties and understand that Nik is moving on with his life he won't always depend on you. And i get it you've been protecting him and taking care of him for so long so you're not used to this. But they are good for each other they are! Please don't give her a hard time, please Shawn please"

"I just....Grey, I don't know! What if it gets worse? What if this keeps happening again and again? It's my job to protect him"

"I know. She was oblivious to this, I doubt it would happen again. I'm going to go talk to Doc and update him before he get here and check on Jackson you're coming with me."

I quickly move out of the way, Greys' eyes catches mine as they stand and come into my view, she already caught me eavesdropping. But i still move out of the way.

"You should go stay with him now" She says as they both step out, holding hands I vaguely remember that lucy and I can't even do that.

That is so useless now to think of that, i just want him to be fine.

"Ummm..... thank you, thanks for everything" I say to her. I don't wait for her response before going inside.

I swallow the lump in my throat watching him as i walk in. A virtual IV has been set, I quickly read the scan on the screen to see that she administered a blood transfusion, strong pain and sleeping meds. There's a full body monitor beeping, he basically just looks like he's alseep, like he's okay

But i have to swallow hard, holding my breathe and close my eyes as I remember how he just fell and almost gave me an aneurysm.

He'll be okay

Please God let him be okay.

I Just stand by the foot of his bed watching him, I climb up the large bed, crawling to him and stroking on his feet just needing to touch him.

He'll be fine

I repeat the anthem.

I feel something solid on his ankles and lift the covers a bit, there's a black-like ankle cuff, displaying some numbers on his socked ankle.

I don't know what it is. I don't even know what is wrong with him.

I open the side table drawer and pull out bags that contains some of the things she used.

I check some bottles first, some of it looks like my meds, for depression and anxiety. I shake my head reading through the rest and getting frustrated because I don't know what they're.

Eventually i put everything back and go to lay next to him. He literally just look like he's sleeping so I'm hoping he'll wake up soon.

I hope be doesn't wake up and hate me, or blame me even though it's my fault. I just want him to wake up.

I move closer to him kneeling at his side and watching him sleep, i frame his face gingerly pushing his hair aside and kissing his nose softly, sighing and tucking my hair behind my ear.

Eventually i lay next to him, watching him and being careful not to move him. I want to lay on his chest but what if that's too much of a strain. I curl next to him, holding his hands and still feeling those butterflies.

I feel my tears fall into the covers, as i pray a thousand times asking for the same thing in my head before falling asleep.

I wake up feeling something press on my lips and a slow flame burning inside. I hum curling more into my sleep feeling something brush under my eyes, before suddenly blinking my eyes open and a shudder racks my body.

Sure enough a mass of curls with green eyes fills my view and I push myself to a sitting position.

"You're awake!" I shout a little too loudly making him wince. "I'm sorry"

"It's okay my head just still hurts" He yawns pressing his hand to his eyes and making his rings glint in the light.

"When did you wake up?" I ask sitting up as he also prop his back against the pillow head board.

Our hands are still joined, we're still holding hands. My heart beat is irregular.

"Just now. What the hell happened?" I just realized he's shirtless and i get distracted for a bit

"You fell" I say quietly "And Your brother and his girlfriend are both here, I called 911 and it didn't go through. I can't do anything right, but I called Grey from your phone and-"

"Slow down, I'm talking about you, you were crying in your sleep are you okay? You're not still leaving right? But i need to know you're okay" His hand holding me, tugs me closer to him until I'm straddling him.

My heart start racing, his warm skin against mine feels unreal and ignites mine. I keep getting scenes in my head about how he fell.

"I'm so sorry Lucy" I whisper "I'm okay now, I'm just so happy you're awake because this is my fault" I shake my head, pressing the side of my face to his chest so he wouldn't see my tears.

"Why are you saying that? This isn't your fault" He insist pulling my head back to look at me. His eyes soften when he sees my face and his thumb brushes my tears away "Please don't ever say that Baby, I don't know why you would think that."

I don't respond, i just frame his face, pressing my lips to his, desperately needing to feel him more, to taste him to hold him, to just be with him.

My heart surges with blood flow feeling him respond to me, sucking on my tongue when i thrust my tongue into his mouth kissing him more desperately and moving my hip against him.

He's instantly hard, groaning against my mouth, spreading his hand on my back and moving it up until he fists on my hair. My nipples tighten straining against the soft silk material.

"Foxie?" He groans against my mouth again, sounding like a warning, but his voice making me more wet, he massages on my ass squeezing on the fleshy globes as i grind against him. My head is spinning.

"I need you Lucy please" I frame his neck, my thumb brushing on his swollen lip. My voice sounds intoxicated and desperate, and it's good to see his eyes darken at my words.

He presses his lips to mine again, snaking his hand to my shirt and grabbing on my naked ass, he grunt when he see i have no panties on, and i roll my hip against him he's so hard and feels so good on my bare püssy, my hand trailing down his chest, my wetness dripping on his crotch.

His hand brushes on the shoulder of his shirt I'm wearing until my breast is exposed and he immediately latches his mouth on my hard nîpple.

"Lucy yes!" I moan thrusting my hand in his hair, pressing his face to my breast to keep sucking like that.

He thrust his hip up, making my bare püssy flush some more, my whole body shakes and i grip on his biceps enough to bruise as the pleasure build and build.

He pulls his mouth away with a pop, my lips forming into a pout losing the feeling. Then he grips on my hip to lift me up. Heat pools on my skin, i feel the head of his cöck teasing at my opening, making me bite my lips in anticipation.

I literally feel myself drip on his head and it drives me insane, wanting so bad for him to be inside me. I grab on his shoulder and start to drop down on his cöck.

His grip on my hip tightens, i can't look away from his eyes and it intesfies the pleasure.

"Fûck baby!"

"Oh God Lucy!"

I moan in unison with him, as his grith stretches me, i can't get over how good he makes me feel, how he brushes on my walls and fills me up so deep until pleasured tears blur my eyes.

My mouth drop open at the intrusion, i feel like his cöck is so deep in my chest, my püssy squeezes around him, taking his size and another silent whimper leaves my throat until he fist my hair and kisses me hard.

Before he can move inside me, i roll my hip around him, lifting up until he's half way out of me, arching my back then I bounce back down taking him, making my ass bounce also and my legs shake. His groans fill my head drugging me, and I continue the routine.

My thighs shake, and i grab on his shoulder going faster, hearing the wet squishy sounds from how wet i am, and loud smack of our flesh hitting each other.

My eyes roll back, but it doesn't stop my rhythm from going faster, making me whimper loudly and the force makes my breast bounce.

"Fucking christ, baby just like that! Fuvk!" He groan pulling away from the kiss for once, both his hands grip on my hip and grab one my ass cheek to squeeze roughly before massaging.

Making me clench around him, i roll my hip again whining my waist foward until his eyes roll back, and a soft deep 'fuck' escapes his throat, before lifting my hip again and riding him.

Then his palm connect with a smack on my ass, startling me, my cheeks burn as my püssy spams and I expload around him.

My legs start shaking so hard breaking my rhythm but he's relentless, gripping roughly on my hip and fücking my orgasm to it's peak until it roll into another one, i can barely see through blinded by my pleasure.

"Oh God! Oh God!" My legs shakes uncontrollably his thrust are deep and fast sending my body into unfathomable bliss.

Making me pant with each thrust as my throat clogges, he swell inside me releasing his semen and filling me up.

I pant harshly, bury my face into his shoulder still shaking from the aftermaths.

He tugs on my hair kiss me slow, and riding our orgasm.