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i want to slam the door in his face cause it just absolutely not the time, my emotions are so all over the face.

"Not now Lucy" I start to close the door.

"No" He puts his foot out, and walks in, in all his glory.

He hold a bucket of ice-cream, and it's my favorite ice cream.

"What do you want? And what the hell is that?" I run my hand through my hair, my head starts to spin.

"I bought you ice-cream, why do you look like you that?" He points a finger at my face making me angry.

What the hell does that mean!

"Like what, you've seen me without make up a lot so what is your problem!?" I snap throwing my hand up. "I told you to leave!"

He looks startled, but he does, he drop the bucket turning around and unlocks the door himself leaving it open.

Good! Bye! Good riddance!

I lift the remote to lock it but he comes inside with a bag of stuffed animals.

Specifically spongebobs and I don't know why i just burst into tears. I fling the remote at him, so angry hurt, sad, frustrated. Emotions just start to gun fire at me without any barricade.

That same hole that same one that always swallows me whole, tossing me into a locked room where those voices come to me with thousands of lock window yelling and telling me through it that

I'm not enough

I'm a failure

A substandard

A maladroit

A lost cause

Insignificant

A fücking mistake!

It hurts more because they're all my voices.

It claws at me then fist on my chest, pumping through my blood stream set to kill me.

"What the fûck foxie!"

"What the hell is all this!" I scream through my tears " why... what... WHAT IS THIS LUCY"

He step towards me cautiously "I don't... i hate tears please i beg you stop it right now"

"Just get the fuck out! I already asked you to leave"

"Can you please calm down, i had no idea this would make you mad"

"No! You make me mad! You fücking bïtch you make so so mad! What the hell do you want from me! To fuvk? Isn't it? That's why you bought all this shit!"

"Yes, just like you want to fûck me too. I didn't buy these shit because of that, I bought it because I know you like them, and I couldn't stop thinking about you" Is he blushing.

Oh God!

I feel my whole being pulsing with need and trembling so hard. My heart melt on the spot but i shake it off.

"You need to leave!" I wipe at my stupid tears

He still looks like he has seen ghost, he looks utterly out of his element and out of place.

He doesn't respond, he starts to approach me like I'm holding a bomb and I don't know if it's because I'm crying so much or I screamed at him and flung my door remote at his head

"Lucy, I'm warning you. If you approach me, babies making will be out of your future. Get the fuck out now!" I shout again feeling those tears rain down my cheek.

When he doesn't listen to me, i grab my basketball and hurl it at his head, but he catches it effortlessly, making me even more angry. I pick my hair brush too, hurling it, then my bra, then my pads.

"Jesus fücking Christ what size are your tits, are you trying to tear my head off, why the hell do have a basketball lying around. Jesus foxie please calm the fûck down"

He's fueling my anger more and more as he catches everything and even examines it

"I fücking asked you to leave!" I toss my corset at him.

He catches it too and now he's literally in my face, his hand are suddenly like vice around my body.

"Let go me you fücking bïtch! I swear to God you're dead!"

"No, Goddamn woman! You need to calm the...oufff" I elbow him then knee him in the groin.

I push away for him heading off into the bathroom.

I can feel myself shaking so hard, my body feels like it's about to explode. Those fücking voices won't leave me the fûck alone.

He tackles me to the carpets and we're wrestling each other like mad rats.

"Get off of me! I told you to get the fûck out! I'm calling my security on you... you fücking bastard!" I pound on his chest as we turn around.

"You're fücking crazy woman! You're still crying Jesus fûck please foxie stop" He pins both my hands with his body and knees, then wipes furiously at my tears.

Him doing that just make the tears fall some more.

"Let me go lucy! Just let me go!"

"I will, and I'm going to run you a bathe, so you can be alone for a while, cause I know you don't want me to see you like this. So promise me, no more throwing stuff and trying to take off my dick..."

I just stare at him dumbfounded.

"I need words Foxie, promise"

I look away from his intense gaze, my chest feels congested "I promise"

He stands, pulling me to my feet then runs his hand through my hair, brushing it from my face, making me shiver.

He finally pulls away and disappears into the bathroom.

I don't know what just happened! I don't understand it! I just acted like a bipolar cry bïtch and his response is to running me a bathe.

He's making it worse, he's making the needs in my chest worse and its so frustrating.

I don't want to have this needs for him, this want in my chest.

I don't want to register expectations with him just for him to leave like everyone else. I have nothing to offer.

He just wants my body

And that just isn't enough for me. And so the expectations are set and can't be met!

He just can't meet them because he's going to be like everyone else.

He comes back out, his over all black coat is draped on his forearm, his turtleneck black body hugging cardigan is also pulled to his fore arm.

He also let his hair down for once, well not intentionally that happened when we were rolling around in here.

His hair is shoulders length dark like midnight and unimaginable curls I want to run my hand through.

"You can go in, I'll put on some music" He smiles softly at me, and i feel like crying all over again.

I don't respond and grab my things then head in.

I shut the door and lean against it, the tears pouring down like sad rain. I'm so damn tired, so fücking fustrated by my demons!

And i hate that's he's here and he's seeing me like this! I hate it.

And why is he buying me stuffed animals and bringing me ice cream! He's such a bïtch! Why did he run me a bathe too and be such an understanding, fücking bastard.

I hate him! And fuck i like him so much it's excruciating and makes my head hurt and my chest fills with butterflies

Why is he making this worse for me why!

I get into the tub, I don't know what he did or how he did but he used my stuffs and it smells and feels so good on my skin.

I finally calm down, I finally breathe properly, I finally send my demons away so i can resurface

When I'm done i scold myself in the mirror and do my skincare.

I find myself pausing at door, maybe he left. Who would even stay after someone does something like that!

I push the door open my breath stuck somewhere in my throat.

"Better?" I looks up and find him pacing. He look at me from head to toes, his eyes darken and he shifts his weight from one foot to another then clears his throat.

I can feel my own body getting hot

"Yeah, uhnn I'm good, thank you"

"Have you eaten? I ordered room service. Do you want to watch some movie? Should i turn on Applebom? Want a massage?" He starts to ramble and there's red in his cheek.

Oh God

"Or want some chocolate cake maybe? Some ice-cream? Tell me something foxie"

"Lucy, I'm fine" I say slowly, my head is whirling with the change of events today. "I'll take the ice-cream offer"

"Okay, okay then"

He leaves to go get it from the freezer I'm guessing.

I noticed the mess i made has been cleared and my heart starts to ache.

Why is he so good to me.

I grab the tv remote set up Applebom and go to find a movie, it's too quiet in here even with the music.

He comes back with the big bucket of ice cream

"You don't have to stay yunno, I'm fine now" I tell him, I don't want him to feel like I'm some inept child he has to care for.

"I know that!" He snaps at me taking me aback "I just...i don't like seeing cry okay, i can get the fuck out because i can, but I don't want to, even if you kick me out. Got it!"

I blink rapidly not really expecting the rest of his response.

"Okay" I whisper and pat the space next to me on the couch.

He moves and sits next to me with a sigh "You've got me fucked up foxie" He says looking directly into my eyes.

"And the day I thought I'd have your bra in my face, I thought I'd be undressing you not you throwing shit at me"

I laugh, both embarrassed and amused, my cheeks flames and I realized he's trying to break the ice in the room, and the huge tension.

"I'm sorry, i took out my anger on you, i shouldn't have done that" I look away staring at the remote in my hands

"I'm not mad i promise, just please don't cry again" He sets the bucket down and sets out bowl.

"How do you know my favorite ice-cream?"

I ask out of curiosity and desperately trying to change the subject.

"You take it in all your..." He starts nonchalantly then clears his throat "uhnn i mean that i saw it here when I came the last time"

I nod watching him carefully and nod again.

I scoop an unhealthy amount into my own bowl "You're not going to ask me about it?" I say without looking at him

"Do you want to tell me?"

"No"

"Then no I'm not going to ask"

I finally look at him only to find him looking at me. My chest start to thud hard and I suddenly feel so small under his gaze "Thank you"

He doesn't respond and i feel so self conscious under his gaze so i look away.

"You uhn.. bought me sponge bob so I wouldn't wear the lingerie anymore" I sniff, and settle back into the couch and scooping ice-cream into my mouth.

He laughs "No, I bought it cause i was thinking about... i mean i saw it I remembered our argument so i just bought it"

I smile because this time i hear his slip up and my face warm.

"What should we watch"

"Anything, I really don't care"

I put stranger things because it's old but i still love it.

We finish episode one, bikering back and forth and I'm on my second bowl.

"He's so old now, like thirty something how the hell is he attractive you" He demands rather angrily focusing on me.

"Because he's hot and he's a DILF" I counter grining wildly

"You're a minor and he'd go to jail"

"You bitch! You should too, you touch me inappropriately when i was only fourteen"

"Not my fault you and puberty shook hand early and you have the most gorgeous tits, if we're being serious you eye raped me the entire time!"

"I did no such thing! I mean sure you're a beautiful man. But eye raping you is far from it. Shït!" I curse when I realized my slip up.

He grin, fangs showing he looks so sly and wicked "Beautiful huh! Still doesn't change the fact that you're a minor"

"I turn eighteen in a few months and it still doesn't change the fact that you want to fûck me minor or not"

"Yes i do! Now I think going over board with a thirty year old man is too much, so is that ice-cream that is your third bowl. I hope you're not lactose intolerant"

I roll my eye "No, I'm not"

I feel his hand on my thigh "You drive me crazy Foxie, I don't even know how to explain it"

"What?" My spoon falls from my mouth to my lap in shock, that was so unexpected.

What the hell!

Is he trying to raise my blood pressure, goosebumps cover my skin from his touch.

He just goes back to watching the large screen! Like he didn't just say that!

What the heck.

I pick up my spoon and watch the screen too. I'm suddenly nervous and fidgety, my skin feels so hot and i feel his gaze on me making me self conscious and so hyper aware.

My hand starts shaking and i feel myself clenching in need.

Oh God!

Can he just stop looking at me.

I scoop more ice cream in my mouth and try to focus on finn and El.

Come on just focus

His hand slides up my thighs and i feel myself tremble, my breathe hitches.

But he's just rubbing on my thigh, it's almost innocent but i feel mystelf drip on my robe

Oh God!

His hand suddenly move parting my robe, cupping my dripping core making me gasp at the suddenness and grip my bowl so fücking hard.

Christ!

He strokes on my slit then starts to rub on my clît.

I feel my head whirls in a tornado of pleasure.

He moves closer to me, still rubbing on my clit, he collect my bowl and places his down, then presses a hot kiss to my jaw.

"I knew you'ld be wet Foxie, so filthy" He breathe hotly in my hear and my body literally starts spamming i feel his hand in my entrance and i just know what's coming.

"Fûck!" i gasp in a hot whisper.