Three years later

the large screaming crowd, the flashlight, the fracas.

The questions and screams are loud, they almost sting in my ear, the lights are enough of pressure to increase my anxiety.

Finally one of my security team pulls the car door open and i slid in.

Jerry my agent slash manager follows after before the door is shut.

I breathe a sigh in relief, then pull out a drink from the side glass pannel.

My phone starts to ring, it's him of course so I ignore it.

My body still having a little rumble and small nerves racking from those reporters and paparazzi.

I'll never get used to it.

"Can we stop at the store before heading off for the meeting. I want ice cream badly" I pull out my laptop before glancing at Jerry then taking a big gulp.

"Meeting? Sweetheart we have a plane to catch. Do you read my emails and messages at all" He drones handing over the hard drive.

"We do? I would have if they weren't so long, for God sakes you even type in cap"

"I need the soft copy of your new routine. Denver deadline is in two weeks, so please you need to stay clean"

"I'm always clean what the fûck?"

"Weed brownies ring a bell?"

"That was a mistake you know that!"

"Here?" He hands me an envelope "It's from kulture and her mama. They sent the full roses and basket too in appreciation"

I smile "This is so sweet" I flip the card then and open it. It a childish drawing of me dancing no doubt from kulture.

And an appreciation thank you card personally from Cardi, for my performance on Kulture's birthday.

She actually signed in her real full name.

I'll remember to FaceTime later.

"Where are we going Jerry?" I unplug the flash drive and hand it back to him.

"Remember the contract i ask you to append four weeks ago?"

"Yeah the Brand ambassador for CoArnold Enterprises. I told you I don't want it, i hate their stipulation and I don't really like long term. Why are we having this conversation? I'm not even a fan of modeling"

"They made some changes and I debunked some of their claims for you, also included some exclusive clauses in our favor. They are uping the pay to forty million for only six months" He grins ear to ear, his legs bouncing in excitement

I eye him skeptically, lift a single brow "No"

"No? No? Are you crazy. It's a fücking good deal. We have the biggest advantage here, not to mention Alarez finally respond when he got heat of this. He wants to work with you. This is big Aya, huge" He turn to his side a bit throwing his hands up in the air, gesturing wildly.

"Still.."

"Aya, you need to sign it and before you tell me about tossing it to the unknown. I have the new and rectified one right here"

"I fucking hate you"

"All love baby" He grins wildly knowing he already has me. "Switch to air wheels Rex we have a plane to catch" He calls to the driver.

He's so dead!

*****

and stand to my feet. Fûck there's an alarm in my head, piercing my eardrums and banging my brain muscles.

It feel like a pitch fork was stuck in my brain, dragging in every corner. My fist clenches and I feel like decking someone. Maybe then the screaming in my head in chaos would decrease.

What the fûck did i do last night?

Distorted flashes hit into my head, strip club, models, few of my team mates and Shawn.

Fück

I want to beat something. I need something to fuel this fire. But i shut the fücking devil in my head threatening to make appearances.

I shake my head, and try to stretch my muscles. My body feels fücking stiff and badly used.

I hear noises from outside my room that has nothing to do with my demons.

I'm going to fücking kill Shawn if they're any girls in here!

I go to take a much needed bathe.

Clad in my robe i walk into my walk in closet to get dressed.

When i step out Shawn is here.

"I hope to God none of your bîtches are still here" My voice sounds so hoarse and unused and i shake my head hoping to shake the headache away.

"You're just mad you didn't get any pûssy last night cause I'm way better looking than you" The bastard doesn't even glance at me as he grabs a cigarette pack from one of my drawers

I'm guessing he hid it there because Merrella my house keeper for almost eighteen years would have had his ass and handed it to him in a twist.

"You didn't either. And you look like shît!"

"Fuck you, cöck sucker and Cyrus is here" He flips me the bird then starts to walk out " Oh and tell your batshît crazy ex I don't fûck expired products"

I laugh.

He gives me the finger again.

When i step out, my penthouse is spotless and I know Shawn probably called cleaning service and that's probably the noise i was hearing

Fuvk i need a coffee!

And Shawn makes a mean one.

"Cyrus" I acknowledged my agent and advisor as soon as i spot him on the bar stool.

I signal to him to come into the kitchen.

There's a coffee in a huge black mug, i mentally kiss Shawn and flip him the bird a thank you and take a large gulp.

It's strong in the right way and mean to my system so it jolts me in the best way, just like I like it.

I start to bring out pots and pans cause I'm hungry.

I grab the chicken and seasoning, some garam masala and tug on some gloves.

"It's fücking early man, what are you doing here?"

He looks like he'd rather be anywhere but here.

I'm tempted to throw my fist into his jaw, immediately irritated because I know he has nothing reasonable to tell me if he's acting like this.

"You better start talking" I say slowly grabbing the lemon juice and pouring it into the bowl.

"I brought CoArnold Contract" He finally says avoiding looking at me.

"Which is? Why the hell are you acting like a fücking retard seal? Just spit it out Cyrus"

"Elaine wants an endorsement deal with you. I worked it up to an offer that you'ld actually consider. I had your lawyers draft up your stipulation and condtions to agreement. Sixty million dollars, six month as their brand Ambassador"

I laugh at him, zero amusement and give an unimpressed glare. I'm this close to throwing the hot pan on his face.

"Fuck out Cyrus"

"Dude just hear me out. Eli's being dying to meet Elaine. This is a good opportunity for her. You should atleast do it for her"

"You are a bloody stupid son of a bîtch. I have every intention of putting my foot down your throat! What ever made you think this was a good opportunity for me"

"Sixty million, eli..,"

"I don't need the money, and i can get Eli to meet Elaine if i want to. Now you're going to get the fuck out before I literally piss in your face" I can feel my bad mood getting worse and worse

My demon doing that sadistic dance of wanting to let out a debunk of fire, happy for a prevail. Blood rushes to my head roaring to my lions and deaden my sins so i can make a new one.

Cyrus preferably the bait.

"But the other partner was the reason they had to suspended the contract. Now they might be reconsidering, maybe you should also go over it too" His voice shakes in a way that satisfies those loins in my vein.

He gingerly places the files on the counter not backing down and my devil's cold roars. They're happy about this sin.

I twist my neck to work off the kinks and grab the hot frying pan taking slow steps towards him.

I watch every single colour drain out of his face.

"Multiple chances Cyrus" I say calmly in constrast to the screaming demons in my head, i want to be able hear them loudly. "To get the fuvk out. Now I'm...."

Everything stops, everything fücking stops and fades to soft quiet white. It's foreign and unused, all my lions and demons whimpering at the obstruction. My whole being goes into shock, putting my brain in reverse off all that memory.

Fûck

I stare into her picture from the file, and my breath pumps out at one go.

Those fücking fox eyes, they are drugging and I can't and never will be able to forget it.

I snatch the pictures, tilting my head and settling my inside.

Fuck she's nonpareil

"What the fuvk is this!" I whisper my mouth parting in variables of emotions

"Err your partner for the co Ambassadorship, she's the one that put it on suspended and I'm sorry okay, if you don't want to sign it's fine. I'll talk..."

"Pen Cyrus now" I breathe

He hands me one in both disbelief and frenzy.

I sign it and slap the folder against his chest, keeping the picture.

"Now get the fuck out before i mar your face"

"Thank you so much, we leave in thirty minutes, I already prepared your jet"

He bolts out before i can ask him why in the world he thought for sure I would sign.