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Without saying much, Techno continued reading Kengkla's letters. Not a word came out of his mouth, only occasionally his facial features changed. A face of surprise, disbelief, sadness and some expressions that increasingly made Kengkla worried. Unconsciously, cold sweat began to wet Kengkla's face. He began to regret his decision for exposing all his "crimes" so far. Technic is right, what if this only makes P'Techno hate him more. He said earlier that he would be prepared for whatever Techno's decision was, but now, he was afraid that P'Techno would make the decision to stay away from him.

In the letter, Kengkla told Techno everything. About his crimes, about his family, about his life before and after Techno's presence, about his love, about his fears, about his feelings every day since parting with Techno. His writing looks a bit messy because sometimes he writes in an emotional state, sometimes crying. After writing, he never re-read the letter, afraid that he would change his mind and change his writing. He wanted Techno to read how he felt when he wrote the letter to him.

At the end of each letter, Kengkla never forgot to write how much he loved Techno and how meaningful Techno was in his every breath.

When Techno finished reading the last letter, without speaking he slowly began to fold all the letters and return to each envelopes because every time he finished reading 1 letter, he immediately put it on the table, without putting it in the envelope. Kengkla could only look worriedly because he could not read any expression on Techno's face.

After finishing tidying up Kengkla's letters, Techno was still silent. Not once did he look at Kengkla who was anxiously awaiting Techno's decision. Techno took several deep breaths, while Kengkla held his breath several times because he saw Techno's attitude.

"Phi ..." called Kengkla as he felt the air tighten his chest.

"Hmmm......"

"How ... is your decision, Phi ??"

"..........................."

"..........................."

"Phi ..."

"Nong, you better go home. Give me time."

a nickname that makes him feel further from his dream. The term that does not have any feeling from P'No.

"Until when, Phi?" asked Kengkla, daring himself.

"I have no idea. Too much information in this short amount of time. I don't even know how I feel right now. Anger, sadness, disappointment, sympathy, all in one. My head and heart are feeling suffocating."

"But I really love you, Phi," Kengkla said hopefully.

For the first time after Techno finished reading Kengkla's letter, his eyes met Kengkla's, so that Kengkla held his breath.

"Love that is based on lies and deception is not love, Nong. That obsession. You made me your object of fantasy for 3 years. Imagine if our position was reversed, how would you feel?"

Kengkla could not answer it. During this time he had never thought if he was in the position of P'Techno. He was just busy chasing after him and trying to make P'Techno his own. And now, inevitably he imagined that he was P'Techno and only found out after 3 years had passed. One word that now crossed Kengkla's mind, SCARY. Instantly, his body went limp, blood seemed to fall to his feet and his head felt empty.

"How can I make the person I love the most live in fear so far???" thought Kengkla.

"........................................."

"I understand, Phi. Then, excuse me. I'll give you as much time as you need. If you are ready with your decision, whatever it is, you know where to find or contact me. But I beg you, take care of your health because you look thinner, Phi."

Seeing Techno still in silent, Kengkla did not have the courage to talk more. With unsteady steps he left P'Techno. Before his body disappears from behind the door, Kengkla turns his head back and looks at the man that he loves the most and the man who he hurts the most.

Kengkla doesn't even know how he got to his car. Arriving in the car he cried uncontrollably. For the first time in his life, he felt defeated. Kengkla who usually won't care of anything and fight all means to get his goals, this time feels he does not deserve the chance just to fight. Yesterday he lost Techno but still dared to hope that Techno could forgive him and be able to come back to him, but this time he felt he had no right even for hoping.

Tut .... tut ..... tut .........

"What else, asshole?" asked the voice across there after several rings.

"Ai Nic ... sob ... help me ... sob ... sob ..."

"Ai Kla !!! What happened to you? Where are you??!!!!" asks Technic in panic.

"In the P'No dorm ... sob ... sob ..."

"WHAT??!!! Did you find his dorm??? Then what did he say???"

"P'No ... sob ... sob ... sob ... sob ... I lose, Nic ... sob ... sob ... ... "

"Ai Kla, where is P'No's dorm?? Share your location, Kla!!! I'll be there soon!!!!"

"Ai Kla!!!! Quickly share your location!!!!!"

"Wait a minute ... sob ..."

Kengkla immediately disconnect the phone and share his location with trembling hands.

"Wait for me there, don't go anywhere and don't do anything dangerous, OK???!!!" pleaded Technic through the Line's app.

"Hurry up, Nic"

"OK."

Apparently, Techno's dorm wasn't too far from Techno's house. Technic often passed this dorm but never once thought that his brother would stay here. He thought, Techno would choose a further place so they wouldn't cross paths. If only he didn't trust his instincts and had searched harder, he would have found Techno faster. After P'No's return, he never had the chance to talk and apologize. P'No will return to his dorm immediately after dinner with parents. P'No has even blocked Technic's phone number. Even if he tries to contact P'No with another number, P'No will turn off immediately after hearing his voice. P'No really cut off his ways of communicating with Technic.

After arriving, Technic immediately called Kengkla.

"I have arrived. Where are you?"

"In the parking lot."

"Which side?"

"In front of the blue building."

"I'm already in front of the blue building. Where are you ... OK, I have see your car, Kla."

Technic immediately ran towards Kengkla's car. He is worried about Kengkla's situation. Some time ago, Kengkla had recovered a little, no longer like a zombie. But if he had now talked to his brother and said that he had lost, Technic was afraid that Kengkla would not be able to handle it.

Knock ... knock ... knock ...

Technic knocked on Kengkla's car window but there was no answer. He could not see inside because Kengkla's windshield was very dark. After a while, Kengkla finally unlocked the door of his car and Technic immediately opened it. Kengkla's pale face was the first thing he saw. Kengkla doesn't say anything. He just stared blankly at the wall in front of his car.

"Bro, what's wrong with you? What did P'No say?? Why are you being like this?? "

"Kla, answer me!!! Don't make me worry!!!!"

"Kengkla!!!!!" Nic shouted right next to Kengkla's ear, but Kengkla remained unmoved.

Slowly, Kengkla closed his eyes. The panicked Technic immediately shook Kengkla's body, but there was no reaction. Kengkla's body even weakened and leaned on Technic's body. Kengkla passed out. Without thinking, Technic immediately moved Kengkla to the back seat and immediately drove his car to the Kengkla's family hospital. Along the way he prayed that Kengkla would be fine, because after all, Kengkla was his only friend and he knew, behind all his tricks, Kengkla loved his brother very much.

Arriving at the hospital, Kengkla was immediately handled by the best doctors there. Soon, Kengkla's parents will also come. After asking permission from one of the doctors who handled Kengkla, Technic disappeared by driving Kengkla's car, heading to Techno's dorm.

After asking the dorm security, Technic immediately went up to Techno's room. Techno opened the door after Technic knocked it several times. Techno's surprised face did not shrink Technic's intention to speak.

"May I come in, Phi. I have something important to talk with you," said Technic when Techno dudn't move from the half open door.

"There's nothing to talk about," he answered as he closed the door, but Technic held the door.

"I know you are still angry with me and Kengkla, but you have to hear what I want to talk about, Phi."

"What if I still don't want to talk to you?"

"I will make a fuss and make everyone in this dorm hear what I want to talk to you about."

"After deceiving and selling me, now you threaten me??!!!" he said angrily.

"The choice is yours, Phi," Technic answered firmly.

Techno knew, if Technic had talked like that, it meant he was serious and would do what he said. Not wanting to make a scene, Techno finally opened the door for his brother. The first thing Technic saw when he entered Techno's room was the letters scattered on the table. Technic is familiar with the envelope and writing.

"Cut the shit, what do you want to talk about?" Techno asked, pretending to be busy with his phone.

"Have you read all Kengkla's letters??"

"Huum ..."

"Then what did you say to Kengkla?"

"None of your business," he replied lazily.

"Obviously this is my business, Phi. I was involved in it. Phi, for weeks, I'm looking for you. I asked every dorm I thought you lived in, but apparently you lived here, a dorm not too far from home. Kengkla doesn't say anything about this either."

"Hmm ..."

"Phi, please answer me, what did you say to Kengkla earlier??"

"Nothing."

"There is no way you said nothing to him. Do you know where he is now?"

"Don't know. Don't care. None of my business."

"PHI!!!! Why are you being like this?? You were like an angel, you were very kind. But why...."

"Do I need to make it clear why I'm being like this? Do I need to remind you who has changed me??!! " Techno replied curtly.

"Phi ... I'm sorry. What more do you want? Bow to you? Kiss your feet? I will do it if it can make you forgive me, Phi," said Technic desperately.

"................................"

Because Techno still pretended to be busy with his phone and ignored Technic, Technic immediately knelt down to kiss Techno's feet, which automatically made Techno surprised and pulled his feet.

"What are you doing, Ai Nic??!!!" he asked confused.

"What should I do to make you forgive me, Phi??? Tell me and I will do it. I have tried to apologize and am ready to accept any punishment from you, but how can I do it when you blocked all my numbers, turn off the phone when you heard my voice even though I use another number, move without telling your address, and even asked your office security guard to drive me away when I go there. I'm really trying to see you, Phi. I can't possibly ask mom because I don't want to make you even more angry with me. I've run out of ways, Phi. I don't know what else to do," said Technic who was now sitting on the floor, in front of Techno. His head bowed, fear to see his brother's face.

In fact, the reason Techno avoided his brother was because he knew for certain that his heart would melt if they met, like now. Seeing his brother's body getting thinner, his voice trembled and his shoulders slowly shook, making his heart ache. During this time, Techno always made sure that Technic did not feel less affectionate even though their parents were rarely at home. Technic has always been his priority so far. Techno is ready to beat up anyone who dares to hurt his only younger brother. But now, with all his selfishness, he was the one that hurting his only brother.

"Ai Nic ..."

"I'm sorry, Phi. Really very, very sorry. At first I just asking for payment for fun, and it was only with a lunch, but because Ai Kla easily granted it, the greedier I became. I was so carried away that I didn't care about the fact that I sold you. I always defended myself, saying that I did it for your happiness, because I know Ai Kla really loves you. But now I realize that what I did was very inappropriate. I know you have the right to be angry and hate me, but I can't let you hate me and drive me away, Phi. Since your departure, I just realized, that you are the most important person in my life. Nobody loves me more than you. I need my brother, I need you, Phi."

This time, Technic really cried. Like Kengkla, there is no hidden feeling from his words. No more prestige. He was very sorry and really wanted his brother back, so he let out all the feelings that had only been able to settle deep in the bottom of his heart.

"Ai Nic ..."

Techno immediately lowered his head and hugged his brother tightly. That move making Technic's cry louder.

"I'm sorry, Phi ... I'm sorry ..." said Technic in between his tears.

"Yes, Phi has forgiven you, Ai Nic ..."