《Finding Sunshine (Sope)》50
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"Is something going on here?"
Yoongi wanted to curl into a ball and disappear. He wanted the Earth to open up and swallow him. He just knew that Hoseok was going to have the wrong idea about this. He didn't want that to happen."No, Noona, it's just that..." How was he supposed to explain this? It wasn't like he had planned for this to happen.
"Noona?" So Yoongi was having a date with an older woman? Hoseok felt an ache in his chest, like his heart might get crushed by this attained knowledge. How could he hope to win Yoongi back from an older woman, who probably had more dating experience?
"Noona..." Namjoon had recognized that woman's voice. She sounded so familiar. Spinning around, he definitely knew who she was."Natasha-noona?!" He was very surprised to see her here. Why was she on a date with Yoongi?
Natasha smiled at the familiar face before her."Hey, Namjoon. Long time no see."
Yoongi and Hoseok were both confused."You two know each other?" Hoseok asked his best friend.
"Noona?" Yoongi sought an answer but wasn't really sure of what was coming.
Natasha flashed a smile to Yoongi."Ah, well, Namjoon and I know each other because he used to date my brother."
"And now you're on a date with Yoongi-hyung?" Namjoon just couldn't wrap his head around this. He had no idea Natasha was into younger guys. Was she?
"A date?" The older woman chuckled heartily."It's nothing romantic. You're misunderstanding. We're meeting here for a group date. You know, like friends." Then, she looked at Hoseok, seeing that he wasn't quite facing her. It had once been brought up in a conversation with Yoongi that his ex was blind, and she could put two and two together."You must be Hoseok. I've heard about you."
Hoseok tensed up a little."You have?" He hoped she hadn't heard anything bad.
Natasha glanced at Yoongi again before speaking further."You must need to speak to Yoongi. Why don't you two step outside and have a nice chat?"
Feeling really nervous but knowing that they both really wanted this, Yoongi stood and gave a small bow of his head to Natasha."Excuse us, Noona." he spoke politely before hesitantly grabbing Hoseok's hand to lead him. It felt incredibly strange to just grab his hand like this. Maybe I should have asked first. he thought. Well, too late now.
Namjoon reached out and gave Hoseok's shoulder a small pat of encouragement before watching the two walk away. Then, he looked at Natasha and found himself at a loss of how to excuse himself without seeming too awkward."So, um...A group date, huh?"
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"Yeah. Yongguk and his wife are on their way." Natasha saw the look of uneasiness in Namjoon's eyes."Are you two not on steady terms still?"
With a small shake of his head, Namjoon sighed softly."That's not it. We're on better terms, but I wanted to try to move on before seeing him again."
"I see." Getting an idea, Natasha smiled brightly and made a motion toward the table."Join us." Before Namjoon could even attempt to protest, she spoke again."You saw the way Yoongi looked at Hoseok. They won't be back. They need time together. Please take his place in our group date tonight?"
"I..." Namjoon was unsure but stiffened up and decided to be brave and do this."Okay. I've never met Yongguk-hyung's wife. I bet she's a great woman."
"She is." Natasha stepped closer to the table and placed her hand on the back of a chair."Have a seat. We'll get ourselves drinks while we wait for them." She was pleased when Namjoon seated himself at the table.
---
Yoongi stepped outside with Hoseok and looked around briefly. Then, he led Hoseok to the left, having spotted an area with no people. After all, they needed to be alone right now. Once in that spot, Yoongi stopped and looked at Hoseok. The man was as handsome as ever, but his usual sunshine smile was absent. That was perfectly understandable. Turning his gaze up toward the dark sky, Yoongi sighed.
"I'm ruining your dinner plans, aren't I?" Hoseok asked after a moment of silence. It seemed like neither of them properly knew what to say now that they were alone.
"No, not at all." As much as Yoongi had been looking forward to the group date, he would much rather be with Hoseok. The blind man meant the world to him."Hoseok, I'm going to be completely honest. I, uh, don't know what to say."
That honesty was certainly nice. At least Hoseok wasn't the only one with an unsure mind. Though, he already knew that. He was aware of that now."I don't really know how to say the things I want to say, so I'm just going to say them straight out." Hoseok was sure that he was facing Yoongi based on the sound of the other man's voice, but he wished he could know where Yoongi's face and eyes were."Everything's all my fault, Hyung. Our breakup wasn't your fault at all. You did nothing wrong."
Those words sent relief but also worry into Yoongi. The breakup wasn't his fault? But how was everything Hoseok's fault?"I don't understand. Please elaborate, Hoseok."
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"I was insecure." Hoseok knew he had to do this. He had to expose his own insecurities in order to make this work. He had been made aware of Yoongi's insecurities. He needed to show his own."On our second date, you told me about your insecurities with dating. You had a panic attack the last time I called you. I know your insecurities, but I've never told you about mine because I thought you would be disappointed."
"Disappointed? Hoseok, we all have insecurities. Why would I be disappointed?" This did make sense to Yoongi though. He knew people, including himself, feared disappointing the people close to them by being insecure about things, which in turn, caused more insecurity.
Hoseok hung his head low and pulled his hand away from Yoongi's, wrapping his arms loosely around himself."I've always been called a sunshine. My friends always say that I'm like a ray of sunshine because I smile so much and act so cheerful. My family says this too. I'm not always cheerful and bright though. I get sad and angry sometimes, but I'm afraid to show it because everyone expects me to be their sunshine." he explained."While we were together, you changed. You weren't as pessimistic as you were when we first met. You were happier. I thought I was doing well at being your sunshine, but it put pressure on me. I felt pressured to always be your sunshine. I mean, what if I couldn't do that for you constantly? What if I became a rain cloud sometimes?"
"I like the rain." Yoongi felt a weak smile tug at his lips as he understood Hoseok's issue."I'm sorry if I put pressure on you. I never meant to do that. I don't expect you to be happy and bright all the time. I expect you to be human, and being human means that you have a wide range of emotions and likes and dislikes and moods. "
"Are you sure about that?" Hoseok truly hoped that Yoongi meant those words. Those words gave him hope that his insecurities were wrong, that Yoongi could accept him, even if he wasn't sunny and bright all the time.
Turning his gaze up to the sky again, Yoongi's smile grew a little."You can be the sunshine. The sun doesn't light up the world all the time, yet we appreciate its warmth and brightness. But you forget what gives us light when the sun doesn't."
Hoseok was confused for a short moment before cocking his head a little to the side."What do you mean?"
"Hoseok, what else is in the sky that's big and gives light?" Yoongi felt much calmer now than he was when they first came out here.
"Oh!" Hoseok got it."The moon. The moon shines at night."
"That's right." Yoongi returned his gaze to Hoseok's handsome face and ignored a faint buzz in his pocket, likely his phone."You are a wonderful sunshine, so please, Hoseok, allow me to be your moon. I'll shine for you when you can't."
Those words were so cheesy, but they also made Hoseok feel like melting."You would do that for me?"
"Of course. I would do anything for you because..." It was time. Yoongi needed to finally say it."I love you." His cheeks felt hot after saying that, but he didn't care. It was the truth."Please be with me again, Hoseok."
And just like that, tears welled up in Hoseok's eyes, happy tears. He reached out both hands and felt Yoongi in front of him, feeling his way to the man's shoulders."I love you, Yoongi-hyung. I do. And I want to be with you again." He pulled Yoongi into a hug and involuntarily whimpered a tiny bit as he tried so hard to not cry.
Being in Hoseok's arms was a dream come true. It was all he had wanted for the whole time they had been apart. Slipping his arms around Hoseok's waist, Yoongi was euphoric."Hoseokie, can I kiss you?"
"Only if you say you love me again." Hoseok answered with a shaky voice.
Pulling back just a tiny bit, Yoongi peered directly at Hoseok's perfect face."I love you, Hoseok." He softly pressed his lips to Hoseok's quivering ones, like sealing their mutual desire to be together again. Then, he retracted one arm when he felt his phone buzz a second time."One second, Hoseokie." Pulling out his phone, Yoongi checked it.
"What is it?" Hoseok sniffled lightly after asking.
With a smile, Yoongi returned his phone to his pocket."Just a couple texts from Namjoon. He's taking my place at dinner as Natasha-noona's date."
"So what about you?" Hoseok almost felt a tad bit guilty for taking Yoongi away from his friends.
"I've got new plans." Pulling away from the embrace in which Hoseok had been keeping him, Yoongi gently grabbed one of his reclaimed boyfriend's hands."I know this casual place not too far from here that offers cheap meals, a show, and a cozy spot to cuddle."
A small smile finally spread across Hoseok's lips."What place?"
"My house."
"Sounds perfect."
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