Hoseok, can we talk? I don't know what went wrong between us, but I would like to know. I want to understand. Please talk to me and give me a chance to make things right. Even if things might not be fixed, we can at least try. If this is my fault, please tell me so I can do better.

That text ran through Hoseok's mind over and over again. He couldn't get it out of his head. He wished he could hear those words in Yoongi's voice. He wanted to hear Yoongi. No matter what words might be said, Hoseok just wanted to hear his voice. He missed him so much. But he couldn't speak to Yoongi yet. How could he explain what was wrong if he still needed to figure it out? He just couldn't do it.

Pulling his feet up onto his bed, Hoseok wrapped his arms around his knees. I know I'm hurting him. he thought to himself. I know this is damaging his feelings. He let out a heavy sigh. But what about my feelings? Hoseok still needed to figure out his own feelings. He didn't fully know how he felt about Yoongi. How could he be with someone who truly loved him if he didn't truly love them in return? Wouldn't that mean he was just taking advantage of Yoongi's love? Would he just be using Yoongi's feelings?

"I don't want to use him..." Hoseok mumbled quietly to himself. Hoseok kept thinking about how things had been with Yoongi. He never showed his true feelings. He never showed that he was unhappy sometimes. He didn't want Yoongi to see his insecurities because he thought Yoongi would be pushed away by them. After all, on their initial blind date, the first thing Yoongi had mentioned about Hoseok's appearance was his smile. Hoseok wanted to keep that smile for Yoongi.

Yoongi liked his smile. How could he even think of taking that away? If Yoongi liked his smile so much, why would he ever allow himself to frown around him? He just couldn't do it. Yoongi-hyung fell in love with my sunshine persona. But what if he saw the rain clouds? Hoseok felt like Yoongi expected him to smile because that was what he had always done around him. Nothing but smile.

What if I cried around him? What if I got mad? Would he accept those feelings? Hoseok didn't know. He had experienced it before when people distanced themselves from him because he revealed that he wasn't a hundred percent sunshine. Many people didn't want the burden of another person's negative feelings.

After being let down multiple times before, how could Hoseok even attempt to hope for Yoongi to accept him whenever he wasn't a happy sunshine? He was so used to covering up his negative feelings and only showing happiness, even false happiness. It was scary to think of how Yoongi might react to seeing Hoseok as anything other than happy. Hoseok didn't know if he could gather the courage to shed his facade of being a sunshine and face Yoongi as a gloomy cloud instead.

Hoseok knew Yoongi loved him, but was that love strong enough to accept him for being different than what he pretended to be? He didn't know, and he was afraid to find out.

---

Why was this so hard? Why couldn't Namjoon keep his thoughts straight? Here he was, sitting on the couch with Yongguk seated beside him. His gaze kept flicking over to the gold band on Yongguk's left ring finger. That was what he thought it was, right? When did that happen?"You're married?" The words escaped from Namjoon's mouth before he could stop them."Nevermind. I shouldn't be asking abo--"

"Yes, I am." Yongguk calmly interrupted Namjoon to keep him from rambling. He knew the younger man was nervous and probably having a million thoughts running through his mind.

"Then, why did you come here?" Namjoon didn't understand."Why are you here with me if you're married?"

Yongguk let out a soft sigh then moved his hand over to place it comfortingly on Namjoon's knee."Namjoon, I still care about you. It's just not in the way you want me to."

Namjoon didn't know what kind of answer he expected. He just didn't know what was going on in Yongguk's life anymore. He didn't know how Yongguk managed to move on. He supposed it was easier for him."You really didn't love me, huh?"

"I'm sorry, Namjoon." Yongguk knew that he had been wrong to not leave Namjoon sooner than he had. He had truly hoped to be able to return Namjoon's feelings."I wanted things to work out for us. I'm sorry it didn't work."

"Why did you stay with me if you didn't love me?" Namjoon just wanted to be told. He needed to hear Yongguk say it.

A sad smile played on Yongguk's lips as he thought about that time."I really did like you, Namjoon. I wanted to be with you. It wasn't fair to you though. You loved me, but all I could give back was a strong like. I tried to love you. I really did."

"But you couldn't?" Namjoon had thought this was the case, but he wanted to hear Yongguk say it.

"Namjoon." Yongguk shifted a little to face Namjoon better."Love is a tricky thing. It never works the way we want it or expect it. I wanted to love you. I couldn't though. Love can't be forced, but I tried."

Lowering his gaze, Namjoon slumped his shoulders."So you just moved on?"

"It's not as easy you may think it was." Yongguk thought about that time when he had left Namjoon and tried to move on."Even though I didn't love you, I still cared about you a lot. I felt awful for leaving you, so it was difficult for me to move on. Still, I managed to do so. I found a woman I love, who loves me in return."

"But what should I do?" This was Namjoon's main reason for asking Yongguk to come over. He needed guidance. He needed advice.

Yongguk's small smile softened a bit, as did his already-gentle expression."You should get back out there. Try to find someone new, someone you can seriously date and hopefully be happy with."

"Do I have to?" Namjoon was worried about being hurt again. He didn't want to repeat the past.

"No, of course not." Yongguk moved his hand up to lightly pat Namjoon's shoulder."But it would be good for you to try again. I'd hate to see you give up just because we didn't work out."

With a soft sigh, Namjoon figured Yongguk was right."I'll try."

"Good." Retracting his hand, Yongguk had an idea."Call me when you get a new significant other. We will all go out together."

"We?" This made Namjoon nervous.

Yongguk chuckled lightly."Yes, we. You and your significant other. My wife and me. We'll have a double date and enjoy each other's company. It'll be fun."

Being nervous, Namjoon didn't want to agree right away."I'll give it some thought."

"No pressure." A warm smile spread across Yongguk's lips."I just want you to be happy."