into bed, moving the covers higher on her body. smiling at her peaceful face, he softly pressed his lips to her temple. at least she was better and her breathing seemed steady.

the moment they had gotten out of the cascade, she began to cough up a storm, shaking like a leaf in the wind. it was odd really, how fast she'd caught a cold. sniffling, sneezing and coughing, all the while shivering uncontrollably and complaining of fatigue.

brushing her hair back from her face, he got off the bed. moving around to the small desk where his laptop sat, he took a seat, flipping it open and connecting his camera.

a warm smile graced his soft face as he went through the pictures he'd taken earlier. most of them were candids, capturing summer in all her sincerity. he stared at each one for far too long. the pictures that weren't, she was silly in every single one, maintaining over exaggerated expressions. he found himself chuckling quietly at how endearing she was.

a small, almost nostalgic smile played at his lips when he decided to watch the video from the river. the child-like wonder on her face, the fascination, the brooding.

he brought his cup of earl grey tea the old lady had so kindly made for the two of them to his lips, grimacing when he found that it was now cold. cold tea was not something he fancied very much but he hated throwing food out even more. forcing himself to take another sip, he watched the video until it cut off.

behind him, a small wheezing sound left summer's lips but disappeared almost as quickly as it had come. he glanced at her, making sure she was alright before looking back at his laptop.

a thought popped into his head and jeongguk contemplated it for several minutes, a frown etched on his face. with a shaky breath, he made his decision, well aware that the chances of him regretting it were greater than not. clicking on his browser, his hands hovered over his keyboard for the longest of minutes before he finally began to type.

wheezing. chesty cough. cold. blue lips and fingers. chest tightness. asthma. fatigue. every symptom she had shown in his presence.

he held his breath as he clicked on search. he knew he would not like what he would find. still he had to know. he needed to know, so he clicked on the first result. lips moved in a silent prayer, pleading for his gut feeling to be proved wrong. but it seemed his prayer had gone unheard. perhaps too silent for the one should have been listening to grasp any words.

in shock, jeongguk dropped the cup he held. but he completely missed the desk so that the fine china clattered to the ground, shattering into pieces and bleeding cold tea on the floor. the smell of black tea and bergamot swirled in the air, filled his nose. it barely registered in his mind.

hands shook and breathing became ragged. it couldn't be true. what he was reading had to be wrong. namjoon had told him self diagnosing with the internet was the worst. yet the thought didn't comfort him.

his vision became blurry, everything in hazy colours. it took while for jeongguk to realise he was crying. blinking furiously, he shut the laptop harshly. not knowing had been killing him, but this was far worse. he wanted nothing more than to undo. to return to blissful ignorance.

but it was too late. he now possibly knew what summer didn't want him to. and he was well aware that she was only trying to protect him. he understood why she always seemed to carry pain in her eyes no matter how truly happy she was.

it all made sense but it didn't. jeongguk did not understand – could not understand – why the brightest souls seemed to burn out so fast. he couldn't understand why it had to be summer. it simply wasn't fair.

wiping at his face vigorously, he glanced back at the sleeping girl. his reddened eyes raked over her form, feeling tears burn at the back of them. getting on his feet, he walked towards her.

the bed dipped under his weight as he retook his former position. a forlorn yet loved up expression took over his face, the sort that one-sided lovers usually had when they saw the ones they loved with someone else. brushing her hair out of her face, he ran his thumb over soft cheek.

moving around carefully and quietly, he laid down next to her. her scent filled his nose. she always smelled like a field of flowers and something distinctly summer. he could never put his finger on it. wrapping an arm around her middle protectively, he kept her close to him.

"i do love you the way the sea loves the shore. i'm going to stay with you no matter how hard it gets."