"i went to my grandmother's funeral today. i listened as relatives i hardly knew spoke about her, shared fond memories. they cried, read bible verses...they pretended to be emotional. i say pretended because, if you're not emotional enough to be able to speak from the heart, without a written eulogy, how can you bring yourself to cry? i cry over you quite often, and based solely on these voicemails you should know i don't need a written speech to tell you how fucked up my life is without you. and that's how it should be. if you're telling someone how you feel, it's not going to be real if its in a prepared speech. if its real, it's going to be whispered words spoken at five in the morning when that other person is asleep, it's going to be voicemails like these at two am, it's going to be loud and angry and tearful, it's going to be real, and raw, and only then will they see. only then will you know it's real."