the third time chan planned

to give a girl a rose,

he had almost left his house

when he noticed his reflection in the mirror,

chills arising despite the closed door.

he realised how he had never realised,

when the bags had started forming,

or when his skin had gotten as dull

and faded as the logo

of his over-worn sweatshirt.

and he realised

he had never realised,

when he had stopped

recognising

himself.