After sitting in the biggest booth the restaurant had to offer, I was still smashed between Tanner thigh and Tuckers long legs. They are literally the biggest males I think I've ever seen in a family before.

Tanner noticed my discomfort and shifted his leg so that I could place mine across his thigh under the table. He rubs it slowly the entire time I sit by him, he even flicks his fingers across my core a few times while talking with his dad. I almost moan but cover it with a cough.

"Dear are you okay?" I hear Grace ask as he rubs along my core. Oh my god, she heard it.

"Yes ma'am, I just got some water in the wrong pipe" I tell her while laughing.

Tanner whispers down "No you didn't" while then leaning up and pushing my underwear to the side as he slides a finger into my folds.

He just twists it there, nagging me over and over. I feel him flick it and roll my clit as I grip his arm with my nails. He's talking to his dad and mom the whole time like it doesn't even phase him. I turn my head on his shoulder and pretend to be on my phone as he speeds his fingers up causing more heat and witness to pool between my legs. I squirm as he flicks my clit over and over again as I try to contain my moans.

I reach down and pull his hand down as I almost orgasm in this booth. I take it away and let his hand stay on my thigh as I lift my head up from my phone and take a sip of water. I feel the wetness between my legs and it's uncomfortable, I feel like I'm dripping just from him touching me. He non-obviously grabs a soft napkin from the table and holds it in his hand while talking. He pushes his hand up the inner thigh of my shorts, without looking and wipes me off. I hold his hand in place as he cleans me up and pushes my underwear back in place.

I love that he see's my discomfort and knows we can't finish this here. When we get back to his dorm yes, but not now. I quickly shift both my thighs on his right thigh so that Tucker can move over more, allowing Noah on his other side to have more room.

Grace starts "So what have you been up to? How's classes? How's both of your grades?"

Tanner looks up at her responding while I see the waitress coming our way. She stops and takes our food orders. Not having the funds to pay for dinner is embarrassing, I know Tan's gonna offer to pay but, I will refuse, he knows I'm not with him for his money.

I start my new waitressing job this coming Monday anyway so hopefully I can replenish my bank account sooner rather than later.

Not really having an appetite, mostly from not eating the past few years, and my nerves of being with his family, I order 6 wings.

I also don't want to puke from nervousness when Tanner and I go further than ever before.

"Why aren't you eating? You always eat in front of me" Tanner asks me while rubbing my leg.

I look up, "I ate earlier and I'm not super hungry, trust me if I was I would have ordered the same thing you did" while praying he believes me. I have a few dollars on me but not a lot of cash. He however ordered the $26 dollar all you can eat wings along with his dad and both brothers. I have no doubt they will get their money's worth.

He just looks at me and mumbles what I think is an "okay", before talking to his mother and father again.

I decide to talk with Tucker and Sage while he's speaking to his parents, and I come to the conclusion that I really like Sage, she's the sister I've never had.

Midway through speaking my phone starts vibrating in my back pocket. I slip a leg off of Tanner and pull it out. He felt it too because he looks down at me. I see the time displaying 9:30 and look at the screen.

My mother, the greatest person of all time is calling me, how fantastic. I look up at Tanner and ask "Hey can I slip out real quick? My mother just tried calling me and I know she'll text me until I call her back".

He shakes his head nodding and picks me up sliding me on top of him and off of him as I walk to the back of the restaurant, pass the bathrooms and head out the door. I see a bench and nobody else is around so I take a seat and call her again. I put her on speaker and sit the phone on my knee cap shaking it uncontrollably. I always put her on speaker so that she doesn't yell into my ear.

She picks up on the second dial tone yelling "Why haven't you called me in a week? You think you're to good for me now because your a college student?"

I sigh and get ready for the worst conversation possible, "I don't think I am better than you I have been extremely busy studying, and going to classes. It honestly just slipped my mind".

She laughs, that evil manipulative laugh, and responds "Oh, really? I'm not important enough, THAT I SLIPPED YOUR MIND?!" yelling at me in her full voice.

"I'm sorry really, I am, you know I'm sorry" I say not meaning a word.

"Where are you right now? You better tell me before I come there and take care of you! I hear people talking" she questions still in her full yelling voice.

"I'm at dinner with some friends" I lie, I don't want her to find out about Tanner because she will make me break up with him. She tries to control all aspects of my life, and I can't wait until a few more weeks when I'm finally an adult.

"Since when do you have friends? The only person who talks to you is your slut of a roommate. You're to weird to have friends." she yells.

My eyes instantly brim with tears, she really is a horrible person. I say back "I just met them at the library, and we decided to come and get something to eat since the dinning hall was closed," while tears drip down my cheeks. I hope she doesn't hear the cracking in my voice or the shaking of my legs.

She says "You will call me tomorrow when you're done being a little bitch, and you will explain yourself!" as loud and obnoxiously as possible.

"You better not do anything stupid or I swear to god you will regret it, you stupid child ." I feel more tears leak down my eyes.

She hangs up and my tears burst from my eyes. I slip my phone right beside me and cry in my palms as hard as possible, I knew she was terrible just like the past few years, but I can't handle it anymore. I feel like she's slowly killing me.

I feel a body come next to mine, and I quickly look up and see Grace, Tanner's mom. She grabs me when she sits down and hugs me so hard I feel like I can't breathe. I cry into my hands more as she rubs my back.

I just want a hug right now, from someone who actually cares. A minute later I pull back and say "How much did you hear?"

"All of it" she responds. She continues "My mother was the exact same way for twenty years, until I decided I had enough and walked out, she never loved me and I know that, It wasn't until I married Beau and became pregnant with Tyson that she wanted to talk to me." I look up at her funny.

"Tyson?" I question back as she stops her tears from falling.

"I was five months pregnant with Tyson when I lost him in the bathroom at work, Beau came and we found out later that I had miscarried. Anyway she wanted Beau's money from his career and even though he's a millionaire now, I specifically told him to never put a dime of his money to my name. I have my job and he has his so I pay for everything I need, and what I can afford for the kids. God forbid, If something were to happen to him, I would inherit it but, I would give it directly to the children. I told him I didn't want that power over my life."

"Did yours hit you, too?" I ask while sniffling.

She nods her head "She did, until I told her one day exactly how I felt and left."

"My mother used to be perfect, honestly I loved being with her for the longest time, we were best friends, after my parents divorce about a year and a half ago she became mean. She would hit me if the house wasn't clean and yell at me everyday, I lost her. She's terrible and has different moods depending on the day. She only took me for the child support money, and she keeps it all to herself. She acts like she loves me around people but when we are alone, she's the worst person I've ever met. She only calls me to yell at me, that's why I didn't tell her about y'all and Tanner. She can't take him away." I rant out.

Grace looks at me and smiles while pecking my forehead motherly and wiping my tears away. She says "One day, you will find your voice sweetheart. And when that day comes, she will know exactly how you feel. Honey she's not worth your tears, you're strong and independent, you've got my whole family behind you now. You don't need her in your life if she causes you this much pain. You need to let Tanner know though, he loves you and I can see it's killing him from that booth while you hide it from him".

I nod my head and say "Thank you" still choosing to not acknowledge the love comment.

She stands up quickly and says "Now let's go get these tears off real quick, I told the boys I was going to the bathroom, but when I saw your face from looking at that phone screen I knew you needed someone".

I laugh, "Yes ma'am". She grabs my hand and walks us back through the door and to the bathroom. She washes my tears off and helps me clean up my makeup to were it doesn't even look like I had been crying for very long. My eyes are still swollen but my face looks pretty normal, besides being slightly pale.

I go to talk and ask her how she got them off so quickly but she stops me saying "Twenty years of practice."

I nod and we walk out the bathroom right beside each other. She's more a mother than mine has been since forever.

We make it to the table as the food comes out and I readjust myself against Tanner as I slide into the booth. He looks up at me and says "Everything okay baby?"

I nod smiling and respond "Never better" and dig into my food while he bends down eating his hot wings, celery and French fries.

~~~~

The rest of dinner went by quickly, and before I knew Beau had payed the ticket and tipped the waitress. Not to my liking, I have to say.

We walk out of the restaurant together and I watch while they each exchange hugs. Grace kisses Tanner on the cheek before pulling me in to hug her. She says in my ear "If you ever need to talk to me day or night call me, take my number off Tanner's phone okay?"

I smile and nod saying "Thank you for understanding, you don't realize how much you helped me".

She smiles at me, pulls away and walks to their car with Beau grabbing her butt. She laughs and slaps his hands.

I smile at them and wave as Tanner comes up beside me and pats my back. He says softly "Ready to go? I'm exhausted" I look up at him having totally forgotten he played a 2 hour game today. "Yeah, of course, let's go!" and grab his hand walking to his truck.

We hop in and take off back towards campus and to his dorm. The nerves finally set in from being with him all night, and staying with a guy for the first time ever.

He hasn't put his hand on my leg yet like he normally does so I assume something must be up. He doesn't even acknowledge I'm here right now, he must be mad about something.

After five minutes of no talking, and five minutes of him not cutting on the radio, the silence kills me so I slip into my seat more and say "Just take me to my dorm". I don't want to do this if he hates me.

He stops the truck suddenly and pulls into the Target parking lot. It's so late there are very few cars. He parks quickly and turns over to me and says "Why in the hell would I take you to your dorm when your staying with me tonight?" flaring his noise and clutching his steering wheel until his knuckles are white.

I look up at him and suddenly feel like I weigh 100 pound's and sink into my seat. I say "You seem upset, you haven't touched me and the freaking silence is killing me. You look pissed off."

He looks me in the eyes and says "Really? I'm pissed on not off. You think I'm upset? I'm not upset, I'm mad. I'm fucking mad, You really don't get it do you?"

"Get what?" I ask back as I hold my composure. He locks his jaw while looking forward as I glare at him. He tightens his fists two times before running his hand through his hair.

"You're, you're scaring me Tanner. Please calm down" I whisper as he chuckles and glares at me. I don't like this look.

I just look up at him sadly not knowing what he's talking about. He continues "Hypothetically speaking, if the girl you have been seeing for let's say a few month's has to take a phone call from her mother and walks out of the restaurant you're in so sad your heart breaks, how would you feel? Let's say she comes back fifteen minutes later with your mom, pale as a fucking ghost and looks like she has been in tears for hours straight. She won't tell you what's the matter and lies her fucking ass off. How would you feel? Like complete shit? Like she's scared to fucking talk to you?"

He hit the nail on the head, he knew everything, I didn't hide it very well. I've never been good at telling lies.

Instantly the tears start up and I turn my head towards his window so he can't see them. I unhook my seatbelt, I'm getting out of this truck. I am about to pull the door open and call a taxi service when I hear the signature noise of his electric locks. I unlock it again and I am about to pull it open when he hits it again this time, and puts on the child safety locks.

Finally thinking of the last thing possible I start rolling down the window just for him to lock it. I was about to jump out, crap.

"Why in the fuck are you trying to leave?" He asks in a regular voice, he doesn't yell he just asks.

I lean forward in the seat and cover my face with my hands. I know that he wants to know everything and that I should tell him, but I don't know how to begin.

"Ellie fucking talk to me" he demands as I wipe the tears from my face. I don't know how to tell him, we were perfect until now and I can't tell him this.

"Take me to my dorm" I demand as I look away.

"No" he demands as I resort to looking around the truck.

"I want to leave take me to my room and leave me alone" I tell him as I look down at the child safety locks trying to pivot them to push them open. I don't want to talk about my mom, I don't even want him to know about it. He's special to me, and even if I'm mad I don't want him to know about the life I lived.

"Ellie, calm down and talk to me baby" he whispers in his soft voice as I shake my head no.

"I want to go, let me out of here" I demand as I push his shoulder trying to make him move or unlock this door.

"Ellie stop" he demands as I let go of him and drop open his glove compartment, if he won't let me go I'm finding the spare key.

"What are you doing Ellie? You're not getting out" he demands as I shake my head and keep going. He didn't just tell me that, I'm getting out.

I reach above me and look through my sun visor and don't see anything and then I look above his. It's got to be there. That's where I keep mine so I know he's got to have his there.

I reach above him as he grabs my arms and stops me, "Ellie, calm down before you have a panic attack. Talk to me, I'm just Tanner, baby stop." He tells me as I break out of his grip.

"Take me back to my dorm. I don't want to see you anymore" I demand as he shakes his head laughing. He doesn't take me seriously.

"The fuck you don't, you don't get to decide that" he demands as I lock my jaw. I don't want to break up with him, he hasn't done anything wrong. It's me, I can't and won't ever be able to talk to him.

"Actually, yes the fuck I do. We're done." I demand before looking up and thanking god.

I see the sunroof. His rich ass has a fucking sunroof. He looks away out of the window as the tension becomes so thick I can't stand it. I press the button before he can stop me and climb out of it. I feel his hands on my legs trying to pull me back in as I kick his hands off and climb down to the bed of his truck. I hear his door open as I jump off the side of the truck and run.

"Ellie, fucking stop!" He shouts as I run. I don't have a damn clue where I am going but I know I can't talk to him. That's out of my comfort zone, once I tell him everything he'll be done with me, I know it.

I sprint across the parking lot and make it to a small park before I feel hands grab my waist and throw me over a shoulder.

"Let me fucking go!" I sob as he pulls me down and wraps my legs around his waist and carries me like a four year old.

"Ellie, Ellie calm down. I'm not going to hurt you, baby calm down, talk to me. Don't run, talk to me. What's going through your head? It won't make me walk away, please" he begs as I sob into my hands. He doesn't know how hard this is for me. I have never talked to anyone about my mom, Grace was different, I wasn't in love with her, I am with Tanner though and I know it.

"I'm sorry" I say as he walks back over to his truck in the Target lot and puts me into the passengers seat and he gets back in the drivers seat.

"You're sorry?" he says glaring at me. I don't know what else to say.

I feel him lift me over his console and cup holders and place me directly on top of this thighs. I straddle him while my hands hide my face in them. He takes my hands away and pins them at my sides. He knows that I'm not strong enough to get out of his grasp.

I look up at him through my eyes whelping with tears. I know I look terrible, I'm an ugly crier and right now is a perfect example.

He says "It makes me feel like you don't trust me, when you can't even tell me your mother's name, I know nothing about your family life, and you know everything about mine, we've never done the whole relationship thing but I know you need to open up. We are in this together, it's not just you anymore. Tell me."

I know he's right. I say "You won't like what I tell you. You'll break up with me".

He releases my hands and grabs my face saying "Try me, dammit I'm not ending this Ellie, baby talk to me."

"You don't know how hard this is. Once I tell you I can't take to back and it's personal" I demand as he sighs and rubs my tears away.

"Do you think it's not personal when I take a shit and ask you to bring me toilet paper?" He asks as I laugh. He always knows how to make me laugh. He did take a poop one day that Chad wasn't there and he ran out of toilet paper. He had his phone so he called me and I laughed my ass off. When I walked into his room because the door was unlocked I pushed open the bathroom door holding my nose shut and threw it at him. When he got out he said, "No more tacos" and sprayed air freshener from my bag all over his room and bathroom. I cried from laughing at him as he said, "Fuck my assholes raw" and sat on a pillow. I had warned him about those shady ass Tacos the same day he went to the doctor with food poisoning.

"Do you trust me baby?" He asks as I nod. I do trust him.

"So why not tell me? I'm not going anywhere unless you tell me you're in a gang or you sell drugs or some shit" he tells me as I nod and smile softly. He always does this, he makes me happy whenever I'm stressed or sad.

I take a deep breath and feel my throat close up. I gasp and do it again. Through my tears and crackling voice I start "Her name is Amanda, she was my best friend for the longest time. She would do my hair in braids and take me for ice cream, just like great moms do."