Nara isn't an overbearing person when she knows she shouldn't be. So as you ride an uber home she only sends you two messages. The first telling you that she heard what happened and the second telling you to go over to her place in twenty minutes if you felt like it. It didn't sound demanding, but you knew that it was more a demand than a request, so you just replied to tell her that you would after you calmed down a little.

Once you got back to your apartment, you let yourself fall onto your couch, too tired to walk to your bed. You didn't think you had the energy to call another uber, and you were also losing money with every ride you took— not to mention you weren't any closer to getting a job.

You hated how many times you'd fallen into self pity in the past month or so. Learning guitar, talking with Si-Young, going for jogs... all of that was a distraction for the feelings that came with Seoul for you. You never found this place home and all of a sudden you were forced to make it that place for you anyway. Most people, you thought, would've had that down by now. And while you had almost fully healed from the constant heartache that you felt as a kid, returning to your old home – or what had become of it, had washed a little of that away, as much as you disliked to admit. And with that came the moments like then, where you sat, tired in the dark, wondering how you'd get your life together.

Your hand reached for your phone next to you, and you noticed there was a new message from Sana. You weren't surprised that Nara had texted Sana about what happened. They were still close and as you always knew, you were their shared connection; the foundation of their friendship.

The tone of her message was the same as Nara's, telling you to call her if you want but really you knew better to know that it, too, was not much of a request. You didn't mind, you probably did need to talk to your best friend, but you were just tired. Your eyes felt heavy and as you dropped the phone on the couch wearily, you had to remind yourself that you needed to be somewhere other than the cushion you were sitting on.

Forcefully, you pushed yourself off, slumping over to the bathroom to check how you looked. You didn't wear much makeup usually, only putting on concealer and maybe eyeliner if you were feeling like putting in the effort, but once you'd returned to Seoul, you just didn't see the point. You didn't have anyone to look good for and you didn't think you were that bad without it anyway, but you'd put on makeup for the performance. You knew you'd hoped to see them, and even if the makeup wasn't noticeable, you'd wanted to look good, even better if it looked natural.

It didn't look so natural now as you stared at the eyeliner streaks on your cheeks. You had to blame it on laziness again that you didn't buy waterproof eyeliner, and maybe also that you had hoped you could make it through without crying. You probably could've if you hadn't been stupid and walked into their dressing room.

Nevertheless, you pulled out a makeup wipe and wiped the makeup off. You rinsed your face before you walked out of the bathroom and undressed, throwing your bra to the side with a sigh of relief. As you bent down to pick up a random loose shirt from your closet, you realized you definitely needed a back massage. Just another thing to add to the list of things you needed taken care of. Though not top priority, you figured the back massage would probably be the first thing you checked off from that list anyway.

You clung on to the small sense of comfort you felt in the baggy clothes you wore as you rode in the uber. The man tried to talk to you, but you quickly ended that conversation as he was taking that comfort away from you and you just didn't have the energy to pretend. You felt kinda bad since he seemed nice, but you probably would've just been disinterested, and you figured that would've hurt the same either way.

As you approached the address that Nara gave you, your eyes spotting Nara waiting with her hands behind her back at the front, you took deep breaths. You didn't know why you felt nervous. It would be easy to tell Nara you didn't wanna talk about what happened, but something else felt heavy in the air as you paid the driver and walked towards your friend.

She smiled a slightly awkward smile at you, which you did your best to mirror, though you were pretty sure you failed. You both stood in front of each other for a second, your hands in your sweatpants as you both rocked back and forth slightly in silence. Finally, she released a sigh.

"So, how you feeling after all that?"

You let out a sigh too at the question, "Not good, I guess."

"Yeah," she nodded sympathetically, "I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that from her, not after what she did to you."

"Just don't." You bit your lip, "She did what she had to do. It's stupid for any of us to get angry at her for that."

Nara clicked her tongue, chuckling lightly, "Still so loyal to this day."

"Am I not supposed to be?" You perked an eyebrow, suddenly feeling a little irritated at your close friend's hostility towards Jennie. "Are you not? I hope you haven't been giving her a hard time. She looked tired when I looked at her."

Nara paused for a second, then with a small shrug she gestured to the house behind her, "Why don't you ask her yourself?"

Your eyes went to the door. It was open, and you couldn't see much, but you saw enough of the familiar figure standing outside on the patio for you to take a step back. Instantly, Nara reached out to take hold of your wrist, which you yanked away.

"Y/n, come on.."

"Nara, no!" You protested, "Does she even know I'm here?"

"Does it matter? Just talk to her. She's had time to process it all," you let out a deep breath, rolling your eyes. "I don't know her as well as you do, y/n, but she seemed to feel bad about what happened. Isn't your whole thing about making sure she's happy?"

You narrowed your eyes at her, "I liked it better when you weren't analyzing my intentions."

"Months apart from you granted me a lot of time to do that," she smiled teasingly.

You pursed your lips, considering your choices, though you already knew your decision from the second you saw her. It wasn't going to make anything better to you. Whatever Nara's intentions were, she didn't know Jennie like you did.

But as you opened your mouth to reject her offer another time, you heard the familiar maknae's voice calling your name in surprise.

"Unnie?!"

You internally groaned. You could see Nara's smile in the corner of your eye since she knew that you wouldn't leave if Lisa asked you to stay, which you both knew was coming. Forcing a smile, you stepped towards the younger girl as she practically skipped over to you and threw her arms around your neck. Naturally, you hugged her back as she squealed into your ear.

The beaming smile on her face when she pulled back was enough to instill a little happiness in your heart again and momentarily forget about the woman standing on the other side of the house.

"What are you doing here? I'm so happy to see you again," she giggled, and before you could get a word in she was already speaking again, "I thought I lost you for real this time. I didn't even get to say bye. Don't leave again, okay?"

You knew you probably would, and so did she, but you nodded anyway. "Okay."

"See?" Nara's voice cut in, and you glared at her, though it held no actual venom. "Lisa wants you to stay! Come hang out for a bit."

Lisa's voice brought your attention back to her as she grabbed your arms excitedly, "Yes! Please, unnie. We've missed you so much."

"Yeah, don't worry, none of us will report you," the familiar Australian accent came through the air, and you turned to see Rosé walking over to you with a bounce in her step. Lisa let go of you so that Rosé could give you a short hug, and you were reminded of how much you missed the comfort of being around these girls.

"I know you won't," you chuckled, scratching the nape of your neck awkwardly. "I'm more worried about..y'know.."

It didn't take a genius for one to figure out what you were talking about, and with a quick look to the patio, Rosé reached out to rub your shoulder in comfort, something she seemed to do often. "I understand, unnie, you don't have to come in if you don't want to."

You let out a sigh of relief. Finally someone understood,

"But I think it would be good to talk."

You looked up at her with questioning eyes, "Do you really think so? I just don't want her to hate me any more than she does."

"Hate you?" Lisa scoffed. "Please, we can all see right through her. She may say she doesn't think about you but we all know that's not the truth."

Your heart skipped a beat at her words, and as much as you tried to relax yourself, to hear that she thought about you still was what you wanted to hear. It must've shown on your face because Rosé turned to the other two, politely asking if you two could have a moment. They were a little confused at the abruptness of it, but they agreed and walked in.

You raised your eyebrows at her curiously when she turned back to you, and she sent you a comforting smile that you couldn't help but share.

"What's up?" You asked.

"I just wanna make sure you're okay." she said, and your heart melted a little at her words. These girls really were the sweetest.

"I'm fine." you said instinctively, but when she sent you a knowing look it caused you to actually think about the question and you shifted a little in your spot uncomfortably. "I mean, I don't know. It was kind of embarrassing."

"Yeah, I honestly have no idea why she did all that."

"It was my fault, I don't know what I was thinking when I went in there," you shook your head, "I'm always sort of stupid whenever I come back home here."

She let out a quiet laugh at that. "Right. I didn't know you even lived here, honestly. I feel kinda bad about that."

You tilted your head, "why?"

"I dunno, I just felt like after all those months I should've known," she shrugged, "I was surprised when Jennie unnie told me."

That peaked your interest, your feet freezing in place, "Jennie?" Rosé nodded simply. "She told you?"

"Well, she was more stressing about how nervous she was," she took a tentative pause before she leaned in a little bit. "to see you."

"What are you talking about? Did she know I was coming to the show?" Things were only getting increasingly confusing for you.

"No, I mean, it was a possibility that she definitely mentioned, so you probably caught her off guard with actually being there." She explained, "But actually, she kinda threw out the idea of visiting you. She quickly took it back and said it was stupid, but she still did."

You parted your lips in surprise, "Really?"

"You seem so shocked."

"I am." You laughed in disbelief, "I didn't even know she knew I lived here."

"Really? Well, what'd we say?" She perked an eyebrow, "As much as she tried to hide it, she cared about you. Cares."

You nodded slowly, trying to process all of it. Your heart was soaring at what you just heard, but even then, you knew she wouldn't outwardly show you any of that. "When did she tell you all that?"

"Last night, actually." She confirmed, "She was up late and I asked her why she wasn't getting any sleep since it was such a big performance, but I sorta already knew. It took a little pushing but she eventually cracked."

You exhaled, "That... makes me both happy and sad."

"Sad?"

"I don't want to stress her out," you said softly, "I hate that I do that to her. I hate that I'm making everyone look down on her."

Rosé seemed to think over her next words carefully, reaching out a hand for you to take, which you reluctantly did. "I don't, if it makes you feel better. None of us do."

"It does make me feel better," you nodded, "I don't want to drive you girls apart."

"Never." She chuckled quietly, "But if anyone knows her well other than us, unnie, it's you. You both hurt each other, but she's probably not gonna swallow her pride. I know you well enough to know that you will for her, but just... don't expect too much, okay? Don't take it too personally."

You nod, "Okay. Thank you, really."

"Yeah, of course." She nodded, leaning in for a hug which you gladly received. You both stayed in the embrace for a few seconds before she released you, sending you an encouraging smile before walking into the house.

You followed slowly behind her, every step you took nearing the patio door making you increasingly nervous. Nara and Lisa noticed you, but they didn't say anything, and Jisoo was nowhere to be found, so the only sounds were your hesitant footsteps.

And then the sound of the sliding door opening. Immediately, Jennie turned to see who was joining her outside, probably expecting one of the other members. When she saw you, you noticed the way she recoiled a bit, her eyes widening slightly before she quickly recollected herself and put on a cold face.

"What are you doing here?" She hissed.

You gulped, closing the door behind you so that they wouldn't be able to hear whatever conversation you two were about to have. You walked to the edge of the patio railing, leaning against and resting your arms on it like she was doing prior to your arrival. She stared you down as you did, and you looked at her with a sort of pleading look to at least settle down before you two talked. To your small delight, she did, returning her weight back onto the railing. So many times you'd seen her in this exact same position. Except now you two were sober, and your hearts felt much heavier than it would if it were still a few months ago.

You swallowed the lump that had returned in your throat, and you silently prayed she hadn't heard it so it wouldn't show how nervous you were, though one look could've told you she was probably feeling the same way behind the facade.

"Nara invited me over." you said, your voice slightly wavering a bit.

There was silence from the other woman for a little bit, and you stared straight ahead of you, anxiously anticipating her answer and not daring to look at her just yet. Her response when it did come was plain and straightforward, "did you know I would be here?"

You could hear the poison laced in the question, though. While everyone had assured you that she didn't hate you deep down, it didn't change the fact that she may feel that way about you on the surface. You licked your suddenly dry lips.

"No. I promise." you shook your head. "I didn't even wanna come in, but... they told me I should."

The scoff that slipped from her lips was instantaneous, and you winced a little at the reaction. "They told you to come in or they told you to talk to me?"

In your peripheral vision you could see that she was looking at you, so you turned to meet her too, your breath slightly catching in your throat. Even in such high tension, you couldn't deny how beautiful she always looked up close. Jennie's eyes involuntarily softened, only slightly, at the way you took her in. So much love in someone's eyes is hard to block out, but you knew she was doing her best to. Still, she was doing a good job at it.

Finally, "I'm sorry."

She sucked in her lips before releasing a heavy breath, "You already told me that."

"I mean it." you insisted, "I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't mean to-"

"It doesn't matter." Jennie cut you off, "So stop apologizing."

With Jennie turning away from you again, you grew a little weary of the confusion she kept throwing at you, your frustration rising to the surface. "I don't know what you want from me. What more am I supposed to do, Jennie?"

"You could leave me alone," she bit.

Your heart clenched, you weren't used to her being so cold to you. "Can't you tell that I'm sorry?"

Jennie stared ahead of her for a moment, silent, but you could almost see that she was having a debate with herself in her head just by watching her. A second later, Jennie let out a breathy laugh, shaking her head. Your eyes narrowed slightly in confusion, and widened again when you saw her a glare in her eyes that told you she was close to crying. This time your heart sunk. Had you really hurt her so bad?

"Jennie..." you breathed out, but just like earlier in the night, she held up a hand to stop you from talking.

"Can you just leave me alone?" she asked, her voice cracking in the middle of her sentence. When you didn't respond, she looked at you again, and your eyes followed the single tear that rolled halfway down her cheek before she swiftly wiped it away. "Please, I can't... handle all of the guilt."

"I forgave you for what you did already. I know with what I said in the dressing room that it didn't seem like that, but I was only saying it because-"

"I'm not talking about that." she interrupted.

She returned her gaze in front of her, not wanting to look at you. You tilted your head, and your voice softened in hopes to comfort her. "Then what?"

Jennie knew there was no escaping. She had wanted to tell you since she found out months ago, and she had just barely managed to get through in your previous encounter. You wanted to know, and she wanted to be the one to tell you.

"He knew," she confessed. "He knew it was me."

"What? Who?" you asked.

"You're not dumb, y/n. I know you're not," she pleaded. "Don't make me say it out loud."

Your eyes looked her side profile up and down, trying to figure out what she was talking about. Once it clicked, you stilled in your spot, your mouth parting ever so little. She felt the way you froze, and she hung her head down. It mirrored the moment he fired you so well, which you just found out, wasn't even warranted.

Still, even through your surprise, your voice stayed calm. "How do you know?"

"I went to him. After you left," she paused, you could tell that she still held bitter feelings about you leaving her there, and the guilt reappeared in you, but you set it aside for a moment to listen. "despite what you said, I begged him to let you come back. I told him. I confessed that it wasn't you who got that for me, but it was me who did it, and I just simply panicked."

You let out a breath. She really did that for you?

She continued explaining, her eyes holding a new, subtle anger in them, "He laughed right in my face, said 'you really think I didn't know?', and when I told him I was gonna quit if he didn't let you get your job back, he just taunted me even more. He said he knew I wouldn't do that."

You gritted your teeth, "I'm sorry."

"Even now you still apologize to me," she chuckled lowly. "I don't need your sorry for that. I should be sorry."

You bit your lip, "Are you?"

"Of course I am." She exhaled shakily, staring into your eyes to let you know she meant it. You nodded slightly, accepting that that was a big admission coming from her.

"It's not your fault."

"Don't do that." She huffed, "You don't have to do that anymore. In fact, you can't, I don't want you to."

You knitted your eyebrows, "But why?"

"Are you seriously asking me that?" She snapped, her harsh demeanor back in a second. You matched it halfway.

"Yes, I am," you demanded. "I thought we were getting somewhere here, so tell me why."