Time flew by in the restaurant. At first, you'd been distracted and a little bit away from the present conversation as you'd been thinking about why or how Jennie left so quick, even as you told Nara about your photoshoot and answered her several questions as best you could. You didn't tell her about how Jennie complimented you. You didn't want to endure any teasing because you had a feeling it would hurt a little. Your distance wasn't unnoticed, though, and Nara did her best to pull you back in and distract you. She didn't know exactly what was going on but she had a feeling it connected to what had happened minutes before, and she felt guilty even if it wasn't her that was making you act off.

And to your surprise, she actually succeeded. Towards the middle of the lunch all the way to the end, once the sky was dark, you hadn't thought much about Jennie at all. Nara told you stories of her childhood, like her favorite meals back then or her favorite hobbies or movies or moments with her family. It made your heart warm, and you were glad to be able to actually learn more about the girl sitting across from you. Up until that point she'd been your closest friend only because she was the only one open enough to continue a conversation with you, and you'd both bonded over the struggles of work. You felt nice to know that she felt comfortable enough to tell you other personal things.

Knowledgeable of her trust, you decided there was no reason for you to withhold any from her, and you confided in her with your feelings for Jennie. She sat there for a moment, seemingly surprised at what you said, but she'd then told you that she already thought you did like her, and she just didn't think you'd ever actually confirm that. You laughed in response, but the nervousness in it didn't slip by her and she tried her best to express her sympathy. You didn't know if it made you feel better or worse. You needed the comfort and the pity, but you'd also hoped that someone as fun as Nara would just tell you to go for it. Though, at the same time you were glad she didn't.

By the time you both parted ways, it could've been time for dinner. You were full, though, and so was she, so she'd told you she was gonna take a nap in the hotel and you'd planned to just walk around the city for a little bit. It goes without saying that as you planted your feet all across the ground of Osaka that your mind drifted to Jennie again.

You didn't try and stop your mind from running rampant with thoughts of you two as something more. You'd imagined her walking with you around the city, not because you had to accompany her but because she wanted to accompany you. That she wanted to spend time with you because she loved you too. You laughed out loud at yourself at how bad you had it for her. Had you really just pushed all of these down? Did all it take was one simple sentence from your best friend to have it all bubble up to the surface? Maybe you were just bored.

But you knew as you returned back the hotel and waited mindlessly in front of the girls' hotel room for a few minutes that that wasn't the case.

Ignoring the way you felt like a hopeless, lovesick puppy, you allowed yourself to crawl into bed. This time, with Nara, who had constantly tried to sleep next to you though you'd always eventually moved. You needed the company tonight, and even a sleeping Nara knew that as she moved closer and wrapped an arm around you.

The comfort that you got from her touch seemed to feel like the last time you'd ever feel that once you'd woken up the next morning.

To say your heart was beating erratically didn't even feel like an accurate description as Yang Hyun-Suk pulled Jennie into a private room to talk about something. You could tell by his face that he was angry, and the tension in the room let you know that everyone was just as confused and nervous as you were. What had she done?

It didn't take more than a few minutes for everyone to hear his voice significantly raising, turning into him yelling at her. He was laying into her, and you refrained from storming in there and punching him in the face. You couldn't see them, but you could hear Jennie try to get a word in, only to be immediately cut off by his fury. You tried your best to understand what they were saying but you couldn't make anything out. You only got more irritated once you'd remembered how almost every staff member who was usually there was there. Why had he called everyone just to be here while he humiliated her behind closed doors?

Suddenly, you'd heard Jennie raise her voice too, then him, then her again. Except the last time, you'd sworn you'd recognized your name being yelled from her lips. Heads were turned to you, and then you were almost certain you did. And as Hyun-Suk and Jennie, with her head hung low, walked out of the room, you knew that you did.

He hadn't called you out directly at first. He stood there and looked around the room, glancing at you just as much as he glanced at everyone else, before he started to speak. "I want to reiterate to all of you that while you are here under my employment, you must follow my rules." His voice seemed to boom loudly throughout the room, though his tone remained calm. "The reputation of this company is most important, especially regarding the success of our groups, and the success of Blackpink. And I have said time and time again, that idols under the YG name are not allowed to do drugs, and any evidence that they had would kick them out immediately."

Your heart stopped.

Your eyes flipped to Jennie. She was looking straight ahead, avoiding your gaze. Hyun-Suk directed his eyes over to you, obviously speaking directly to you. "To even possess weed is a criminal offense, not only in this company, but in Korea as a whole. To try and frame one of our idols is an even worse story." You knitted your eyebrows in confusion. Was he still talking to you?

He took his hand from behind his back and held up a plastic bag, filled with weed. "This was found in the bag of Kim Jennie."

Your eyes returned to Jennie, and she was staring right at you. Her lips were set in a tight line and you could tell she was trying not to cry. Your heart sank.

She'd gotten the weed herself, and when caught, said your name. She'd blamed you for it.

"I have no other choice but to fire you for trying to frame one of my idols, Ms. Y/l/n." He'd spoke, causing you to return your attention towards him. You heard Lisa gasp softly next to you at his words, but she didn't say anything. "I won't tell anyone that you had this, but I don't want to see you near any of the Blackpink girls or YG again. If you do, I'll have to report this incident to the police."

You weren't exactly sure how you didn't burst into tears right then, but you somehow kept yourself collected enough to nod silently and accept what he'd told you.

"Unnie-" Lisa protested, but you'd shaken your head at her. You weren't going to let Jennie fall for what she'd done. She'd worked so hard, and after all, the only reason she hadn't just asked you to get it for her was probably because of something you did. She left after the photoshoot, and she left when she saw you at the restaurant. It was your fault.

He cleared his throat, "Please have everything packed by tonight. We will pay for your flight back to Korea tomorrow morning." You nodded. "And apologize to Ms. Kim."

You almost wanted to laugh at what he said. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you rose from where you were sitting. You felt the tips of Rosé's fingers lightly brush the back of your arm, almost wanting to grab you back, but she knew better. She knew you wouldn't have wanted that.

Everyone's eyes were on you as you stood in front of Jennie. You waited for her to lift her head up and look at you, and once she did, you saw the tears finally fall down her cheeks. Why was she crying? You were the one who was fired, not her.

"Y/n-" she'd started, but you cut her off, the sound of her voice only making you upset.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Kim." Your voice was cold as you bowed to her, and so were your eyes, piercing through her once you'd straightened up again. You'd never looked at her like that before. "I won't come near you again, I promise."

She shook her head at your words, but you'd just turned around. Nara tried to reach out for you, but you waved her off with a forced smile before fully exiting the room.

You were fine as you entered the car owned by the company to take you back to the hotel. You were fine as you took the elevator up to your room. But as soon as you closed the door behind you, you'd sunk to the floor and sobbed, knees up to your chest as you buried your face in your arms.

The girls had another fansign today, which you obviously weren't attending, so you'd planned on just wallowing in self pity the whole day. You were upset with Jennie. You were angry, but you wouldn't have wanted her to do anything else. In the end, you knew that the person you were really angry at was yourself, though maybe it shouldn't have been. Maybe it wasn't completely your fault. Maybe you hadn't done anything and in fact Jennie was the one causing everything to happen, but you still felt like everything you felt was what led to this.

Either way, for the first time in the months of working with Blackpink, you didn't want to see Jennie.

After about fifteen minutes of sobbing on the floor, you'd eventually lugged yourself over to the bed and just laid there. Nara entered the room, and as soon as she saw you she crawled over and joined you on the bed, wrapping her arms around your waist.

"Y/n," she sniffled, "I don't want you to go. I can't believe she did that! What am I gonna do without you?"

Her crying made you sad, but you chuckled lightly in hopes to lighten her mood. You brought a hand up to gently caress her hair, nails lightly scratching the back of her head. "You're gonna be fine, Nara." Your voice was hoarse from all the crying, but she heard you.

"I won't!" She insisted, suddenly sitting up and looking at you. "I'm gonna be alone in a hotel room, or worse, paired up with someone else. Nobody's as talkative as you."

You tilted your head, "I'm not talkative. You're talkative."

She rolled her eyes, "Well you're the only one who's willing to listen to me. And I mean really listen, not just pretend to!"

You chuckled, "To be fair, not many people would put up with it." She playfully hit you at the comment. You sighed. "You can still call me. And Sana will still be friends with you too, if that's what you're worried about."

"I'm not worried about that, her and I are friends outside of you." She defended. You nodded with a smile, letting her know you weren't trying to invalidate that very important thing in her life. She took a deep breath and placed a hand over your own as you sat up too. "You don't have to act like you're fine. I know you love this job. I know you're upset, I could see it when you left."

"I think everyone saw that I was upset, to be honest." You looked down at your hands with a frown. She waited for you to continue, and your mind searched for the right thing to say. "I guess... yeah, I'm devastated." She pouted at your admission. "I do love this job. I really do, and... and it kills me to know that I won't be able to see them or be near them because I love them. And it won't help when Mr. Yang finally emails me the photos. I think he forgot."

"He might just be editing them." Nara interrupted.

"Yeah," you shrugged. "I don't know if I even want them. Maybe I'll just email him not to send them."

"What? No!"

"What's the point? I would've cherished it just because Lisa told me to take them, and because Jennie helped me."

"Jennie?" Nara asked, "How did she help you? You didn't mention that."

"Yeah, I didn't mention it because I didn't want you to tease me about it. I just couldn't take it anymore. It hurt to know that I could never be something with her, and she was distancing herself from me, so it felt like we couldn't even be friends." You ranted. "But she did say we weren't friends before that. And another time previous. So maybe I should've expected this."

"Woah, okay, slow down." Nara chuckled, overwhelmed from all the new information. "First of all, you've never told me any of this stuff, which I have to say I am a little offended by!"

You rolled your eyes at her dramatics. "And second of all, I mean do you really believe that?" she asked. "I'm so angry with her so don't let this be you thinking I'm telling you to forgive her, in fact, fuck her-"

"Hey, you're still working for her." You scolded, "Don't make this harder for her because of what she did."

"No promises." She scoffed. "But what I was saying was that do you honestly believe she doesn't see you as a friend? Or at least someone she trusts? I know you're supposed to work a little bit more with them since you're more than just a stylist, but so are two other people and they're not coming close to how she trusts you."

You shrugged. Maybe she was right, but you didn't want to look for hope in this situation. You did just want to forget her for now, so you forced yourself to stay angry.

"A friend wouldn't do that to me."

Nara frowned, and nodded. "No, they wouldn't."

"I really appreciate you coming by, but you have to go with them to the fansign."

"Ugh, yeah, but we're spending time together tonight. And I'll let you know if Jennie looks like she's having a horrible time." She winked, and you rolled your eyes in response as she left the room.

Your eyes glanced down at your phone, which was in your pocket. You would have to tell Sana at some point or another, but now you just felt drained. You let yourself fall asleep, which wasn't hard since you were tired from the crying. It lasted for a long time. You weren't sure where you were gonna work or what you were gonna do or how you were gonna feel when you woke up in Korea and felt like you had no purpose, but you let yourself sleep the thoughts away.

Turns out you didn't have to tell Sana because Nara had already told her, obvious from the several texts and missed calls from Sana. The first string of them were angry at Jennie and urgent for you to pick up, but they gradually got softer and eventually ended in her telling you that she loved you, that you'll figure it out, and to call her when you want to talk.

You wanted to reassure her that you weren't ignoring her, but you didn't want to talk right now in all honesty. You didn't really want to talk to anyone.

Sadly, someone knocked on your door. You contemplated a opening it. Maybe you could pretend you weren't there, but then again where else would you be? And what if it was Nara, and she lost her keycard? So you did get up and open it. But it wasn't Nara. In front of you was Lisa, who had immediately thrown herself at you and engulfed you in a tight hug. You took a deep breath as you wrapped your arms around her too, rubbing her back gently as you tried not to cry while she did on your shoulder.

"I'm sorry, unnie. I'm so sorry." She apologized profusely, "I can't believe she did that. I know how much you love your job, and— and she could've said anyone else!" She pushed back gently to look at you, arms still gripping your shoulders. "I told her she was being ungrateful for all that you've done for her and she just yelled at me that she knew. But if she knew then why did she do that? I just—"

"Lisa, Lisa.." you said softly, trying to calm her down. She breathed a shaky breath at the sound of her name repeated from your lips, trying to relax. "It's okay. Thank you for trying to defend me, but what's done is done. There's no use in wasting tears over it, okay? You're too pretty to cry."

"I don't want you to go, unnie." She whimpered. "You made this feel nice... and comforting. And now I'm not even allowed to see you at all, but I don't want to lose you! You don't deserve this!"

"I know," you frowned, "I'm really sad that I won't get to see you too. But I'll try my best to still support you guys, maybe I'll be in the audience one day and you'll see me."

New tears came at the image of that, and she shook her head. "What are you gonna do now?"

You shrugged honestly. "I don't really know. But I'll figure it out."

"I wish I could help you." She said. "I know we all do. Even Jennie. Though I hate her right now, I know that she does."

You giggled. "Don't say that. You don't hate her."

"Not forever, but right now I do." She scoffed. "Don't you?"

You stood there for a moment, then shook your head. "I want to say I do." She nodded in understanding.

"But you don't, still."

"No." You laughed, almost bitterly. "I think I hate myself right now. Something in me feels like this is my fault."

"How on earth do you think that?"

You opened your mouth to speak, but there was no way you could explain yourself without revealing the way you felt for the band mate, and you didn't want to mess anything else up any more than they already were, so you just shrugged.

"I don't know, I just do."

From the words that left Lisa's mouth next, you found out that you didn't even need to say anything. A look of endearment mixed with sympathy swirled in her eyes as her voice dropped to a quiet whisper.

"You love her, don't you, unnie?"

You gulped, "Of course I do. I love all of you."

"You know that's not what I mean." She said gently.

To lie felt natural, but you knew there was really no point in doing that now, and you sighed. "There never could've been anything between us."

Lisa bit her lip and nodded. "She wouldn't have deserved someone like you anyway. You're too giving, and she's too closed off. All she would do is take."

Something in you told you that that wasn't true at all. And maybe it was, but you just didn't believe that. Nevertheless, you nodded, and you bid Lisa goodbye before deciding you needed some fresh air and left the hotel.

Your feet took you back to where you were just the night before, imagining Jennie by your side as you toured Osaka. That possibility already seemed crazy then, but now it just seemed impossible. You passed that place, and you turned a corner into a street, houses lined on both sides of it. There were no cars in that area, save for the occasional stray one just driving by. The emptiness of it mirrored the one you felt in your heart, and you took a seat next to one of the lampposts on the curb of the sidewalk.

It always amazed you how small you could feel during times like this. You found a dull sense of calmness in the breeze that blew against your face, but that seemed to be the only part of you that felt okay. When you were younger, you had wished you were older. Suddenly you felt as if you wanted to take it back, if only a few years.

Then, not even thirty minutes in, your stomach dipped at the sound of a familiar voice behind you.

"Y/n?"

You weren't sure why you turned around, but you did. There stood Jennie, in different clothes from when you last saw her, since she had to go to the fansign. She was in a red and white patterned dress. Her hair was straight down her shoulders. You noticed she had no makeup. You knew you usually did it, but you'd expected someone else to fill in your position. Maybe she didn't let anyone, or maybe no one volunteered. Either situation didn't exactly make you happy.