You wouldn't deny that you had hoped for Jennie to call you during her night out. No matter how much you closed your eyes and tried to drift off, you still stayed awake just incase your ringer would go off. By the time it was 3 am, you felt stupid. And you also realized you forgot to call Sana.

You didn't know what was happening to you. Never in your years of knowing her did you forget to call Sana at night, at least not without notice, or by accident. You had forgotten because your mind was on Jennie, and that confused you. How did your feelings rise to the surface so quick? Why were they increasing so damn fast?

You're not sure when you slept, you only know that you woke up from Nara shaking you awake and telling you to hurry and get ready. Blackpink didn't have a performance, but they were leaving to go to the airport to go to Japan. They had scheduled a fansign the day after their performance and the win previous to that day had only gotten blinks extra pumped to see the idols.

You couldn't say the feeling was mutual from them, though. You were never told what they did the night before, but you could see Jennie grit her teeth whenever someone spoke louder than a whisper, which of course, was all the time. They'd gotten drunk, you'd figured out. You weren't sure if it was obvious only to you because you knew they went out and no one else did, but you had to help them out, because they were definitely struggling.

Rosé lifted a hand up to her head, teeth biting into her pale lips as a group of people walked past, their voices particularly loud with laughter, and Lisa flinched at the sound. Jisoo was the best at keeping it together. You'd probably not even know she was drunk if you hadn't been around her for months on end now. You knew by the way she sucked in a tight breath that she was annoyed, and it's not like the sound of joy was something that annoyed her usually, even on an early morning.

Naturally, your feet took you to Jennie. She was wearing a light blue button-up sweater, the V neck low-cut, exposing her collarbones, and the necklace only accentuating it. It was tucked inside loose dark blue work pants and finished with white adidas shoes– and of course, the sunglasses to cover her eyes. All in all, she looked beautiful. You always looked forward to her airport looks. For some reason, they always treated it as some fashion show, and even in her drunkenness, you could tell she didn't put that to the side.

You made sure not to stare as you handed her a water bottle that you brought from your room. She took it with a short smile, barely sparing a look your way as she sipped the water down desperately. You pursed your lips and stood beside her, content that you brought her something she needed. You wanted to punch yourself for the feeling. That was literally your job, and even when you got her weed, you never paid attention to the details like you did then.

She extended her hand to the side to hold the bottle in front of you, signifying for you to take it from her hands, so you did. She crossed her arms, leaning back against the wall and sighing.

"You okay?" you asked, just for the sake of asking.

"Look like it?" She remarked, but the tone wasn't playful like you maybe expected, like it had been the day before; it was snappy. Even though you were newly aware of fond feelings, you still weren't one to take her mood personal, at least outwardly, so you just slumped your shoulders in silence, not prodding further.

You were dumb to think she would sigh and quietly whisper an apology to you right after, maybe explain what happened the night before and why she was just rude towards you. She was only nice to you because she won. She was in a happy mood, and you helped her, and she let that overcome her. You shouldn't have been surprised that she retreated back to her old self. Sana did say the only time you got to be with her was at 3 am, high... your extra time with her was mere luck. And a one time thing.

When it was time to board, the girls of Blackpink boarded the first-class, while the rest of you rode in the mid level. You sat next to Nara, as usual, and she was unusually chipper for being more of a night person. At least one person was having a good time, you thought.

After her small laughs to herself became too much, you inquired. "Okay, what has got you so happy?"

She looked at you alarmed, as if she didn't realize you could hear her. You knew that she knew you could. She was just waiting for you to ask. "Oh, it's nothing." You perked an eyebrow, not accepting that answer. She pretended to be annoyed, sighing deeply. "Okay, okay! Sana texted me!"

You grimaced, "What? You mean my Sana?"

"Possessive much." She joked, "but yeah, your Sana."

"How did she get your number?"

"Oh, I came to talk to her right after you finished talking to her. It was really weird, once she saw me she acted like she had something important to tell me and left Dahyun." You internally rolled your eyes. Of course she escaped out of that situation. "But obviously I wasn't complaining. Awe talked for a bit and I gave her my number, but I didn't at all expect she would actually text it!"

You hummed, "So what, you guys are besties now? I really have to see my two closest friends forget all about me?"

She fake pouted, tapping your nose gently. You squirmed under her touch and pushed her hands away. "I didn't know you thought of me as your closest friend," she cooed.

"Don't let it get to your head." You rolled your eyes. "It's not like we all get to eat dinner and get to know each other every Sunday."

"You know how to ruin a sweet moment."

"Thank you!" You tipped your imaginary top hat, "One of many talents."

She scrunched up her nose at your corniness. "Okay, anyway, you don't have to worry about Sana forgetting about you. The whole reason she texted me was because of you— and yes, it was a bit disappointing. But we texted all night afterwards so it turned out great."

"Why did she text about me?"

"Uh, something about you didn't call her." She shrugged.

You nodded, "Yeah. I forgot, I feel bad."

"How do you even forget to call Sana of Twice?" She scoffed at you. "That's like world honor. It would be my number one priority."

"Yeah, which is why you misplaced the mics yesterday, your priorities aren't straight." You said mockingly. "Besides, Sana and I have been friends for years, Nara. We call every night. So not really the world's honor anymore."

"Every night?!" Nara exclaimed, clearly shocked at how close you two actually were. "How do you keep this from all of us?"

"I dunno, I go to private areas to talk to her."

"Wow." She exhaled, "So why did you forget?"

You bit your lip. You felt like you could trust Nara, and it definitely wouldn't hurt to have someone who was with you all the time to talk about Jennie, but you didn't want to rat on her, even if you knew the cheery girl next to you wouldn't say anything. It all came down to trust. You wanted to know you always kept Jennie on top no matter what.

"I was really tired." You said nonchalantly. "It was a big night, y'know. Lots on my mind."

Nara sighed. "Yeah. That win felt good. Felt like I kinda won it too."

"Yeah." You agreed. "Working with them has been fun, right?"

She laughed heartily, "That's one way to put it."

You spent the rest of the flight trying to rid yourself of any expectation of how Jennie would act with you before you arrived in Osaka. You had always been fine with it before, but you had a feeling that this time would be a little different. However, if there's anything Jennie has shown you, nothing can't be done without a little practice.

The flight was short, only lasting for a bit of an hour, but you regretted not getting any sleep. As soon as you stepped off the plane and were met with the sun in your face, you groaned and shielded your eyes like you were a vampire. You never liked the sun, and neither did the hungover girls walking over to all of you.

All that practice of trying to get rid of expectation felt like it was ripped away from you as slender fingers wrapped around your forearm, grabbing your attention. You looked at Jennie with raised eyebrows, like a dog waiting for its command. Maybe she was startled by your eagerness, because she took a second to look at you before speaking. Or maybe she was just that hungover. You couldn't tell what emotion she was feeling with the sunglasses over her eyes.

"Do you have any more water?" She asked weakly.

You slightly pouted at the sound of her voice. She sounded so tired. Today would be hell, but you knew that it was her fault. And you also had no water.

"Uh, no, Jennie, sorry." You apologized, "But I can go get you some quickly. It'll only take a moment, there's store right over there." She glanced over to where your finger was pointing. It was only a few feet away. She let go of your arm and nodded, and you missed her hold.

"Be quick." She ordered, and you lightly jogged over to the place.

You were definitely starting to be a little too head over heels. For a second you'd thought she would ask to come with you. And each time you had a new expectation, you'd seemed to come back from it disappointed. Maybe you did need to call Sana and just talk it out. You had to anyway, you wanted to apologize for keeping her up.

In grabbing a large water bottle for the brunette, your eyes scanned over the food section. It was to your delight when you saw milk ice cream sitting at the bottom row in the freezer, and you walked over and grabbed it with a smile. You paid, and walked over to her with your bottom lip trapped between your teeth. No expectations.

"Jennie," you called, and you could see her grimace at your volume. You slowed down, lowering your voice. "sorry. But look what I found."

You couldn't see her eyes but you knew that she was happy from the way her lips parted with a small gasp and turned into a smile. She excitedly took the ice cream and water from you, giggling to herself like a little kid.

"Ice cream is supposed to help with hangovers." You shrugged.

"Yeah," she whispered, looking back at you and holding the items by her side. "thanks, y/n."

Your name seemed a little sweeter on her lips that time, and you smiled in acknowledgment.

You ended up buying ice cream for the rest of the girls too. Though you obviously had your focus on Jennie, you were supposed to take care of all the girls, and it was definitely worth it as they all smiled at you in gratefulness.

You all went to the hotel in silence. You weren't sure if the staff knew they were hungover, but they all seemed to get the memo. You watched as the girls disappeared into their room and refrained from making up some meaningless question to ask Jennie just to see her one last time. You'd see her in a few hours, and you had to call your best friend.

It took a little longer than usual for her to pick up, and you frowned at her sad tone when she answered.

"Well, I'm glad you decided to call me eventually."

"I'm sorry, Sana." You gently said, "I really forgot. I would never not call on purpose."

"Mhm." She mumbled, "I was just afraid you were upset with me after what I said. I don't mean to push so hard with the whole Jennie thing. I'm only teasing-"

"No! Don't worry." You cut her off. "It's no big deal. I do the same with Dahyun. But actually, uh— Jennie is why I forgot to call last night."

There was a pause, and then a hushed squeal came from the other line. "Oh my god! Did you sleep with her?!"

"What?!" You yelled.

"-Y/n! Be quiet!" Nara called from the bathroom.

"Sorry!" You responded back. "Sana, no! Of course not!"

"Oh. Well then why couldn't you sleep because of her?"

"I can't believe that was your first conclusion. I'm not that unprofessional." You scolded. "But either way, you're right. I think... I do have feelings for her."

"Well, duh." Sana teased.

"Do you want me to talk to you or not?" Silence came from the other side, and you smiled. "Good. So, last night, she brought me up to go see the sky when it was dark blue-"

"Your favorite!"

"Yeah, exactly! She said she brought me up there because she knew I liked it, and she wanted to thank me." You explained. "I told her to believe in herself right before the performance and I guess she actually did for once, and then they won. And then I told her she had gifts and she opened them, and then there was a letter from the staff and I was like 'you deserve better than that' and she was like it's more than I expected from them," you rambled on, "and I was like 'hey, I'm part of the staff' and she said 'please, you're not them'!"

"Omo!" Sana exclaimed, "You probably died."

"I did die." You chuckled. "Then, she told me to bring her gift to her room... and then she said she'd go to the girls but I could stay. And I embarrassingly asked if she meant stay with her."

"Aww," Sana cooed.

"Shut up." You hissed, "Anyway, after that awkward moment, was when I talked to you."

"Oh, so that's why you were in a grumpy mood." She realized.

"Yeah." You confirmed. Nara walked out of the bathroom, and you waited until she grabbed her makeup bag and walked back in before speaking again.

"Baby?" Sana's voice came through.

"Sorry, I had to wait until Nara was away."

"Oh, Nara!" She said happily, "I love her. She's actually super fun to talk to."

You rolled your eyes, "Yeah, she's very excited that you're doing that." Sana giggled then waited for you to continue. "Anyway, she came in right as I was about to leave. And she told me they were all going out past their curfew... and I said that was rebellious and shouldn't be telling me that, to which she pointed out that I get the weed for her."

Sans laughed, "I like her."

"When I was leaving, she opened the door for me. I said that was chivalrous and she said she was just doing what she does, which is what I told her to do before the performance!" Sana aww'ed again, gushing at how cute you two were— or how cute you saw you two were. "So I said she was using my own words against me, and she said you're only supposed to say that in situations you don't like and that this wasn't one of them. But she sounded flirty! I felt crazy! And then I told her to call me if she needed anything and she smiled and told me to have a good sleep. And Sana- she smiled at me so many times that day... I mean just before her performance, you should've seen the way she looked at me."

"Well, it's no secret that you're her closest staff member. I mean, all of us have heard about it." Sana said plainly.

"Whose said that?"

"Well you're always around her. Sometimes we hear our staff members talking about how you're the only one who can handle her." She explained. "It actually makes me feel like a proud big sister.."

You chuckled, but you hated the feeling in your chest that erupted from the thought of being seen as the only one who could handle Jennie at her worst. "Not everyone understands her."

"Not everyone really has the opportunity of smoking with her."

"Speaking of that," you started. "what you said before, about me only being with her at 3 A.M.."

"Well, yes, clearly that isn't true anymore."

"No, but it might be, that's the thing." You grumbled. "Even if she was closer to me, or I could handle her, she was never openly sweet to me in front of anyone. Or even when we smoked. She still had a guard up, and yesterday, for a second it felt like that was gone... I mean, she held my hand.."

"She did?!"

"I know!" You exclaimed, letting yourself fall back into the bad. "But this morning she was back to normal with me. And yeah, she may be hungover, but I dunno. I think I'm just upset that I expected something different. Like, a friendship."

"Why are you upset about that, y/n? Anyone would expect that."

"I wouldn't, usually." You replied. "But now I guess I'm ultra aware of my feelings.. and her doing sweet things for me didn't exactly help."

Sana could sense the distress in your voice, and she felt pity for you. Even though she teased you about your crush, she knew that you could never have something with Jennie. Not unless you wanted to lose your job and get the idol in trouble, and she knew those were the last two things on your list of wants.

"I'm sorry, y/n." She said softly. "But look, don't let it take away from this, okay? You love your job. You love Jennie." You pursed your lips at the thought of all the ways you might love Jennie. "You have always said that they're under a lot of pressure and you're the only one who understands. Even if she's not showing it right now, she trusts you. Don't take that away by jeopardizing whatever career you both have."

"I know."

"Ugh, I hate being harsh." She whined. You giggled at her. "Okay, I think I have to go."

"Okay. I promise I'll call you tonight."

"You better!"

"I will!" You reassured her. "And thank you, Sana."

"Anything for you."

"Who was that?" Your heart jumped at the sound of Nara's voice all of a sudden. "Did I hear Sana?" You nodded. "What the hell? Why didn't you let me say hi?"

"I didn't know I had to do that." You narrowed your eyes.

"Whatever, I'm gonna take a nap before we have to get the girls ready." She yawned, hopping next to you on the bed. You looked at her weirdly.

"There's another bed," you complained. "and you didn't even change clothes. Disgusting."

"There's worse things in the world," Nara mumbled tiredly in her pillow. You rolled your eyes at her, something you seemed to do a lot. You'd definitely be sleeping on the other bed.

You'd decided to follow in her footsteps and take a nap yourself, your eyes heavy. Your mind ran with thoughts about how quickly your feelings had escalated, but eventually you were able to shut them out and fall into a slumber.

A slumber that only lasted about an hour before you were being woken up by Nara's alarm.

You'd made the conscious decision not to rush over to the girls' hotel room like you usually would. You didn't want to slack off on your job, but you wanted to see if you could just push back a little, or be like the rest of the staff.

It didn't go unnoticed.

When you arrived at the room, Jennie immediately called your name, to which you shuffled over to her to. Like last time, she dismissed the staff with a wave, and looked at you with knitted eyebrows. "Why are you late?"

"I'm not." You said, your tone still polite. "I'm on time, just like everyone else."

She looked at you for a moment with an unknown look, then she looked back at the mirror with a humorless chuckle. "Sorry. I thought that maybe you were smart enough to learn I want you here before everyone else."

Your stomach twisted at her words, both in delight and in displeasure. You didn't like that she had been so blatantly rude to you and that it seemed you disappointed her, but her telling you that she wanted you there before everyone else made you feel special. You bowed slightly, muttering out an apology before starting to work on her face. You tried not to look at her, but it was hard when she was staring at you so intently, watching your every move. You didn't enjoy being analyzed.