So, I just got back the results from my Math, Physics and Chemistry tests and dear lord I've literally gotten 1/4th of the total marks. I just feel so ashamed of myself for getting such a low score. But what I don't get is how TF the other people are able to cope with it and I'm not being able to. No matter how attentive I seem or how hard I try to listen. I keep thinking I'll be able to understand but who am I trying to fool? I keep hoping I'll be able to do things on my own when I don't understand even a single thing going on during the classes. I'm scared of asking for help because of my brain convincing me I can do this and I'm capable of solving stuff when in reality I'm unable to and I'm nervous about people judging me for it

I've given up feeling things these days, my heart feels empty and hollow devoid of any emotions. I feel... empty and lost. It's like I've given up caring and I think it's making me selfish. And on top of that I've also turned into a literal freaking insomniac, who gets at the most of 2 hours of sleep on a daily basis. I fear I'm losing interest in writing and the quality of my work is declining and losing inspiration. I keep thinking about how nice it must be to suddenly disappear from all your problems and you never have to face them again, even though if it makes me seem like a coward

People compliment how I look most of the time because of the clothes I wear but I still feel insecure of how I look when I don't dress fancy and don't make an effort to look my best. Another reason that makes me selfish and silly, I know. When I look back at my reflection, all I see is a self hating failure who's insecure of herself. haven't really been the best since a while now and I'm... I'm scared to talk about my feelings and emotions, they mess people up real bad. I've been lying to myself, convincing myself that I'm all right and it's all a phase, but truth be told I'm not okay...