Track 3. Hunger - Florence + the Machine

The next few days go on silently.

It's not that Jeongguk is avoiding her per se, it's just that the demon seems more quiet than usual; seemingly brooding and more closed off than the first time she met him. They still have minimal conversations when needed, but mostly he keeps his thoughts to himself. Lisa doesn't dare ask.

It's three days later when he finally comes to.

The both of them were at the fourth day of their shift--it's a Thursday, a busy one at that, considering there were children coming in during the early afternoon to get their sweet after-class treat. Lalisa serves them with a small smile on her face; she loves children after all, and occasionally helps Jeongguk with his ice cream swirls and banana sundaes.

When all the customers have been served, the angel takes her time to go to the back to replenish her thirst. On the way, she meets Eunha, the manager, and the girl only gives her an odd look. She gives her an innocent smile and goes to her locker to grab a bottle of water.

"Hey."

Lalisa flinches, nearly dropping her drink at the sudden voice. She turns her head to see Jeongguk behind her, leaning against his own locker. The top two buttons of his shirt are undone, revealing a tanned chest. His apron is hanging on his left shoulder, ever the careless.

"Don't sneak up on me like that," she scoffs instead and closes the locker door.

As usual, Jeongguk only snorts. "I wasn't sneaking up on you," he clarifies. "In fact, I have some good news. One that you'd want to know. Would you like to hear it, angel?"

Even though she does not want to entertain him, she still can't help but be curious. Sighing, she leans against her own locker, the both of them facing each other. She does, however, keep a close eye on the entrance in case customers come in. "Get on with it, then. We don't have time."

"Okay, okay, geez. Calm down." Jeongguk rolls his eyes and rolls his shoulders. "I'll help you get hellfire," her eyes widen and a smile makes its way to her face, "but you should promise to help me get my wings back, okay? A deal's a deal, angel. No takebacks."

Like an obedient puppy, she nods eagerly. She thinks she sees the corner of Jeongguk's lips go up. "I promise."

He nods as well, jutting his chin out towards the entrance when the bell rings, signaling the arrival of new customers. "We'll talk more when we get home, yeah? Now hurry along. There's people waiting."

The angel puts a strand of her hair behind her ear and heads to the front, but stops halfway. When she turns around, Jeongguk's still there, staring at her with a barely-there smile plastered on his face. Lisa bites her lower lip and clears her throat.

"Jeongguk, I--" Her voice comes out soft. She gulps. "Thank you. Thank you so much."

The demon only nods and waves her off.

She walks back to her place behind the counter, and if Eunha sees her skip a little bit, she doesn't mention it.

The hellfire topic doesn't get brought up again until dinner. Surprisingly, Lisa doesn't get impatient enough to start bothering Jeongguk about it during the duration of their shift, which the latter praises her for. They continue to work diligently, even bickering several times here and there, and Lisa is glad that Jeongguk finally seems like he's back to his normal demonic self.

On the way home, they stop by a fast food restaurant--a first for both of them, really. With the money they've both earned by working a couple of shifts at the ice cream parlor, they decide to buy a nice 8-inch pizza and a box of yangnyum chicken.

("This is better than Heaven, I tell you," Jeongguk boasts as soon as the staff hands them the box.)

When they arrive home well past 6PM, the angel hurriedly takes out their meals from the bag and sets the needed utensils on the table at the speed of light. The taste of freedom seems so near now; they just need to eat dinner and talk about the upcoming topic at hand, and then soon enough Lisa will be free from her responsibilities. It all sounds so easy.

But when she finally sits on the couch in the living room, Jeongguk shushes her all too quickly before she can even open her mouth.

"Nope. Not yet," he chastises and places a slice of pizza on her plate. Her mouth unconsciously forms into a pout. "Let's eat dinner first, then we'll talk, angel."

Lisa glares at him, but the pizza looks devastatingly appetizing that she relents and nods begrudgingly. "Fine. Thank you for the food."

The demon only nods before getting a slice for himself. Lisa watches as he takes a bite, and then tilts her head curiously when a string-like object sticks to his lips.

She frowns, forgoing her own pizza and stares at Jeongguk's own slice instead. "What's that?"

"Mozzarella."

"Mozza--what? Why is it like that?" She points at the string that's now being slurped by Jeongguk. "It's... stretchable."

He takes another bite and chews. "It's like this 'cause it's cheese, little one. Humans put the cheese curds in hot water that's why the consistency is like this. You should try it."

"Does it taste good?"

"The best. Here." To her surprise, Jeongguk takes her own pizza into his hand and gestures for her to open her mouth. "Say ah."

Lisa is still skeptical. She's not worried about the cheese--no, that's none of her concern. She's worried about his intentions. What if the demon enchanted the slice? Maybe he added a bit of poison so he could finally kill her by the time she's lost consciousness. Isn't that what he said the other day? Maybe he's just using her to steal her wings, and as soon as she opens her eyes it'll all be too late.

Her thoughts are interrupted by a drawn-out groan. "I can hear you thinking. I swear on my own life: I'm not going to kill you. And death by pizza sounds absolutely ridiculous." She sees him roll his eyes, and he thrusts the pizza in her face again. "Now, c'mon. Open your mouth."

Well. She supposes that makes sense. If he did poison the pizza, he would've been long gone by now.

With a huff, she does open her mouth, and takes a hesitant bite. Jeongguk grins widely and begins pulling the pizza back so the cheese stretches. Lalisa doesn't chew the pizza in her mouth immediately, but instead her eyes widen as he pulls and pulls back even further, the cheese extending until it stops.

"Cool, huh?" He asks, eyes glinting with a hand up in the air, pizza held in his palm. "Do you want to see how long this'll stretch?"

She nods eagerly, and the demon stands up from the couch and the cheese is still stretching. Wow. She points her finger towards the window, and it takes Jeongguk a few moments to understand that she wants him to go there. All the while, they're both trying to hold in their giggles--Lisa because she's afraid the cheese will be broken if she lets out a sound, and Jeongguk because he doesn't want to break the apparent seriousness of the situation.

The demon walks backwards, careful so the sting won't break, and finally stops when he's a step away from the window. Lisa's stuck back on the couch, smiling in glee at her new discovery. Who knew cheese could be so much fun? Humans truly live in such curious ways.

"Okay, I think it's reached its full capacity," Jeongguk announces, slowly gathering the stretched cheese into his hand while walking back towards the couch. For a demon, his hands were gentle as he carefully holds the cheese. Lisa tries her best to slurp the remaining mozzarella all while standing up. "What d'you think, angel?"

"It was fabulous!" She exclaims as soon as she finishes eating her first bite. Jeongguk chuckles as he throws the cheese he gathered into the trash can, and finally plops down right next to her in the couch. He takes a bite of his own pizza, groaning as the taste hits his mouth. "Where do humans find things like this?"

Jeongguk merely shrugs. "They're curious beings like that. Always searching for things to entertain themselves with. Do you like the pizza?" Lisa nods like a little kid. She doesn't know if it's her imagination or what, but she swears she sees his lips twitch upwards. "Mine's a different flavor. Do you want to try it?"

She eyes his slice warily. "Uh, no. Maybe you'll kill me for real this time."

The demon merely gives her a glare.

The dinner goes on longer than Lalisa would have wanted. It's fine, though; Jeongguk proved to be good company despite his species, and he taught her several things while they were eating.

("If you eat chicken wings, you gotta remove two of these bones right here, you see? Pull it out and--ah. You can swallow the entire thing."

"That just seems so brutal."

"Angel. It's a dead chicken. It's meant to be brutal.")

("My mouth feels... oily."

"That happens. You can take a bite of this radish kimchi here so you can clear your palate and it won't be oily anymore."

"Won't it be okay if I just brush my teeth?"

"Angel. Be serious.")

Jeongguk offers to clean their mess, and Lisa takes the opportunity to wash up and change into her pajamas. The thought of hellfire had been looming above their heads while they ate their dinner, and now it's already at the forefront that it can't be ignored any longer. The tension seeps into her skin as she scrubs herself clean, and only intensifies when she sees the demon quietly sitting on the couch.

She wills her nerves away and sits down next to him.

"Hey," he greets, attempting to smile. "So..."

Lisa doesn't return the gesture. "So. Hellfire."

He nods. "How do you want to do this?"

She's already pondered this numerous times before that the answer comes naturally. "We get it, coat my blade with it, and cut my wings off." It all sounds simple enough, but it's the execution that makes her skittish. Pain is always inevitable, yes, but she is not certain she can handle all that's coming to her.

Jeongguk lets out a long breath; Lisa doesn't know why. "I've already handled the first part. All we need to do is--"

"What do you mean the first part?" she interrupts, frowning at the demon. "You've got hellfire?"

He wordlessly nods.

"Right now?"

Another nod.

For some reason, a shiver travels down her spine. She scoots away from him, just a little bit for caution, but he notices it nonetheless. "Where did you get it?"

He stares at the small space between them. "It's always been with me." Lisa opens her mouth to ask, because how would he have hellfire with him? But then he cuts her off with a look. "Listen, are we going to do it or not? It's dangerous."

As much as she wants to argue, she can't deny he's right. Sighing, she lets the topic go, but keeps it in the back of her mind. What's important is that they have it. "Alright. Are you ready to do it now?"

The demon's eyes widen. "Now?"

"Mhm," Lisa hums. "The sooner, the better."

Jeongguk seems hesitant, brows scrunched and hands twitching mindlessly at his sides. "Lalisa, I don't think it'll be a good idea. How about you think about this first? It'll be painful and--"

"I've thought about this countless times now. I want it. I need it." Desperation bleeds into her voice, and he must've noticed because his gaze softens, and he nods. Lisa takes out the hidden dagger from behind her, the blade forged by the older Angels that live under the Silver City's mountains, and holds it out towards him. "The fire. Put it here."

The demon closes his fist and places it next to the blade. With a flick of his wrist, he opens it and red-blue fire immediately starts spreading throughout his fingers. To Lisa's amazement, he merely touches the tip of the blade with his fingertip and the fire instantly wraps around the steel like a moth to a flame.

Silence encloses the entire room.

Lisa stares at the flaming blade in her hand. It's nearly unbelievable how she finally has it--the key to her freedom. One clean swipe of the blade and her wings will be gone, along with her responsibilities from Heaven. Her brothers and sisters won't be able to see her anymore, the Archangels won't be able to find where she is, and the Almighty can't take her back now that her wings would disappear. Forever.

The fire in Jeongguk's hand is long gone now, and he sits there quietly, waiting. She flips the blade once, twice, thrice, staring in astonishment as the flames bend and follow the blade's will.

"Can you..." Her voice breaks. She clears her throat. "Can you move the couch, please? I need-- my wings need space."

Jeongguk doesn't say anything and stands up, doing as she says.

When the living room is spacious enough, Lisa kneels in the middle, flaming blade in hand, and after taking a deep, deep breath, she unfolds her wings.

The angel whimpers as her bones crack and the two vertical wounds at the center of her back begin protruding, pristine white feathers appearing out of them and growing into 10-feet long wings that occupy most of her living room space. An occasional feather or two falls on the floor, but Lisa barely feels it as they fall and she controls her breathing.

The last time her wings were out was a few days ago; when she was attempting to cut it off for the umpteenth time since she arrived in the human realm. Now, as she looks behind her, they remain as pure as ever; the feathers are soft to the touch as they flutter and ripple. They look strong. Impenetrable. They bring a kind of intimidation that had Jeongguk backing away, either repulsed or stunned by their haunting beauty.

"Do you--" The demon begins, fidgeting in the corner. "Do you need help--"

"No," Lisa snaps before he can even finish. This is her wings, it's her problem alone, and she does not want anyone--especially a demon like himself--touching it. Only her. "I'll do it. Just... stay there."

The flame in her dagger seems to burn brighter, almost enticing as they dance along the steel. Her hands start to shake as she realizes what she's about to do--she's going to cut her wings off, and they'd be gone. Forever. For eternity. Only then, on her living room floor, does she realize that she has never known a day of her life without her wings on her back.

They've always been there, see. Ever since she was brought into the Silver City as a young angel, her wings have always been present. It's almost like another presence; she doesn't feel alone as long as she knows they're there. They're made of every good thing there is in the world--of love, protection, hope. And yet, as much goodness as there is within them, they remain as Lalisa's anchor to the Almighty. One summon from Him, and her wings would take her back up to Heaven without question, even if it's against her wishes.

After spending several days in Seoul, what she once loved, she'd grown to fear. Whereas her wings used to provide her comfort, they sent her into spirals of panic, thinking about the consequences she'd face once He calls her back to Heaven. Samael the Lightbringer was once his most trusted angel, and yet He banished him after he fell. What would He do to her, then, if not worse?

"-sa? Hey, angel, are you okay? Do you need help?"

Lalisa doesn't realize she's too lost in her thoughts until Jeongguk raps his knuckles against the floor. When she blinks, she sees him kneeling right in front of her, albeit keeping his distance. He has a worried look on his face, she thinks, because his brows are scrunched and his mouth is downturned. She opens her mouth to ask why, but he speaks before she does.

"You're crying."

Surely enough, when the pads of her fingertips swipe through the skin under her eye, it comes back wet.

Jeongguk softly taps the floor again. "Angel, do you need help? Should I... should I do something? Anything? Do you want me to--"

"I can't do it."

It's but a whisper, and yet it echoes around all the same.

"I can't do it," she repeats again, voice breaking. Tears instantly blur her vision, and before she knows it, she finds herself swimming in a sea of despair. "I c-can't, I can't. It's so hard, and I can't--" A sob rips itself out of her throat, and then another, and another.

The flaming dagger still remains in her hand, ever burning, and she grips it like a lifeline as she curls into herself, her wings closing in around her like a protective cocoon. At that, she cries even harder.

"Hey, hey," she hears Jeongguk's voice. Lalisa looks up to see him inside the little bubble her wings made around her. It's dark within her wings, and the only source of light was the hellfire in the midst of it. It illuminates Jeongguk's face as he watches her with concern. "Hey, angel, are you with me?"

Despite her cries, she manages to nod.

"Good, okay, good," he says, but there is nothing good about this. Lalisa needs to cut her wings off, but she can't; she can't because she's a coward and she loves her wings too much when she shouldn't. "You don't have to do this right now, okay? It doesn't have to happen tonight. You can try again, yeah? We always have time."

When Lisa doesn't reply, Jeongguk's hands awkwardly hover on the blade, not knowing if he should touch.

"I'll remove the hellfire now, okay, angel? I'll remove it. Nod if you want me to." She nods, another sob wracking her body. Her knuckles have turned white from how hard she's gripping the handle of the dagger, and the demon makes quick work of collecting the hellfire. Once he's done, he unwraps the angel's hands from the now-extinguished dagger and places the weapon next to her. "There, there, it's gone now."

Lisa remains crying, but Jeongguk doesn't touch her. He only sits next to her in silence.

After a while-- "You know in Hell, it's really fucking boring in there."

She doesn't respond.

Jeongguk continues. "Like. It's all fire and brimstone and shit. I don't know if you know, since you've been in Heaven all your life, but as someone who's been there for as long as I can remember, that place is a shithole. Seriously. Every day, you've got to endure hearing human screams as your background music. That's why demons like metallica so much; we're so used to hearing tortured screams that it's music to our ears."

Lisa sniffles and hums. It's a nice attempt to break the tense atmosphere--she appreciates him trying. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. And so one day, we were like, what if we buy something to keep us entertained? Because there's nothing you can do there but punish people and then weigh the reasons why they're punished. Paperwork here. Guard duties there. It's all a boring cycle honestly, but anyways, we eventually got entertainment."

"What did you get?" Her voice sounds croaky, but he doesn't mind.

"Well, first, we tried getting a PS5 for all of us demons to share. But then everyone got bored of the same five games, so we tried the Nintendo Switch. It was fun--we particularly liked playing Animal Crossing a lot and we visited each other's islands from time to time." He snorts at his own words. "But then that got boring too, so you know what we did?"

Lisa wipes her tears away. "What?"

Jeongguk grins and whispers conspiratorially, "We got a puppy."

The angel gasps. "You're not serious."