APRIL 6, 2019

12:00 am

JEONGGUK

darling!! sorry

i just finished

rehearsals

saw your music

video a while ago

by the way

IT WAS SOOO GOOD

your rap part? liiit

the flow was fireee

hey.

you sound weird

heyyy

even yoongi was

impressed

tae, jin, and joon

practically fought

for the TV as we

tried to find the mv

they all said it

was very good

although we haven't

listened to the mini

album yet

thanks, guk.

what's wrong?

you seem off

nothing.

i just don't feel

like talking about it.

no no

you need to talk

about it

so you could

let it out

tell me

no, it's fine.

i can handle it.

thank you for

the feedback, guk.

i appreciate it. :)

okay

if you say so

congratulations!

😁👌

😊

▪️

2:12 am

LALISA

guk

where are you?

can i talk to you

members are asleep

need someone to talk

to right now

2:13 am

1 MISSED CALL FROM LALISA

1 MISSED CALL FROM LALISA

2:15 am

3 MISSED CALLS FROM LALISA

2:16 am

jeongguk

please

JEONGGUK

darling, i'm so

so sorry i just

woke up

what's wrong?

Jeongguk rubbed his barely open eyes and hurriedly pressed the call button just so he could talk to the girl. Thank goodness his phone wasn't on silent or else he would've slept through the whole thing.

"Hello? Lali, what happened?" He asked worriedly as soon as the call was picked up.

Heavy breathing could be heard from the other line. A few seconds had passed until she spoke, "Guk. I need to talk to you right now. No one else is awake."

Her voice sounded like she just finished crying, which concerned him, "I'm here, darling. Talk to me."

"Can you," She sniffed, "Can I go to your apartment?"

Jeongguk thought about it, "Okay, sure. I'll see you in 15?" Their apartment complex were not too far away from each other, as the both of them are situated near the Han River. Blackpink is currently staying at the Bamseom Xi while BTS is at the Hannam Hill - both in Yongsan-gu.

"Okay." The call ended. He slumped back on the covers and closed his eyes for a few seconds before going to the bathroom to fix himself. He was sure that whatever she was going to say, it wasn't pretty.

▪️

"Here, darling. Just put your shoes there and let's head to my room after." He instructed as Lisa, still wearing pajamas and a messy bun, came inside the apartment. He thought she might be uncomfortable by the idea of talking to him in the living room when any member might come out and see them together - not that it wasn't allowed, but it was in the middle of the night. They might find it odd.

Lisa did as she was told and looked at him when she was done. Up close, he could see that her eyes were red-rimmed from crying, but he didn't know the reason why. Not yet.

He didn't ask about it as he led the way to his bedroom. Jeongguk opened the door, letting her in first, before entering and closing it.

"What's wrong, Lis?" He asked first, breaking the silence.

Lisa chuckled, "Don't you just hate it when you've worked on something hard for months... and then someone just comes in and discredits all your hard work with a mere sentence?"

He sat beside her on the bed, "Antis again?"

"Yeah." She responded quietly, "I should get used to it by now, right? But I can't." Sniffing, she added, "They've told me a million times to stop reading the comments - but it's so hard. I wanted to see the fans' reactions but... I see something else instead."

He kept quiet, wanting to let her talk.

"At first, I actually did ignore them. I thought, oh, this is just normal because we just recently debuted, but as time passed by, I realised I was wrong. It got worse. The racist comments were the worse of them all - as if it was my fault that I was Thai and I just look like this." Lisa took a deep breath, "Sometimes," She wiped her cheek - he realised she was crying now, "Sometimes I wish I hadn't come here, you know? Everyone kept telling me to return to Thailand and just work there because they don't want me here, and sometimes... I've considered it. Just so the hate could stop.

"They even had this petition to remove me from the group," Lisa chuckled, but it was obvious it was hurting her, "For BLACKPINK's popularity, they said. I almost signed it, to be honest. Don't know what I was thinking but hey, at least I didn't.

"The hate also took a toll on me too, just so you know. I've started eating less since that racist remark, because I thought, maybe if I were thinner and smaller, maybe they'd finally accept me. But I was so stupid." Lisa played with her fingers, "Jisoo found out, and now she makes sure I eat three times a day and is always watching me like a hawk.

"However, the reason why I don't open up to my members is... well... they don't get hate that much. It's just me." She admitted, embarrassed, "It'd be awkward to open up to them when they don't experience the same thing... I'd also be giving them more things to think about and I didn't want to be in their way."

Jeongguk didn't know what to say. He also experienced hate before, but not as worse as this. Telling someone to go back to their country? Wow. That's crossing the line.

"It's okay if you don't say anything. I just wanted to let my feelings out." Lisa smiled reassuringly at him with tears streaming down her cheeks. The sight made his heart hurt. He didn't like it when his friends cry as he didn't know what help to offer them.

"No, no." He shook his head, "All I've really got to say is... those people who sent you the comments? They're nothing. They're just idiots who have nothing better to do than bully someone behind a computer. Compare yourself to them," He fully faced her, "You're an idol - you've achieved records that not everyone can achieve, you've got the talent, the looks, the attitude, you've got everything. You deserve to be here. Why do you think Blackpink is globally famous? Because of the four of you, because of your talents. Why do you think Blackpink got invited to Coachella? Because you're unlike any other. Why do you think you're the most popular member? Because you're extraordinary. You've captured the attention of many ever since your debut.

"Things like these, they make some people jealous. They don't have what you have, hence why they're doing what they can to ruin you, to make you think you are not worthy. And look at you," He gestured to her, "It's working, Lali, when it shouldn't be. You shouldn't be crying or thinking about the negative comments. I know you know that you deserve to be here as much as anyone else. Say, do you even know someone who left her country at the age of 14 and went to Korea without knowing how to speak Korean and was prohibited from speaking in English? Who learned to be independent because no one was there to care for her? Hell, when I was 14, all I did was play computer games after school.

"Not everyone can do what you do, Lalisa, so keep that in mind." He finished, frustration radiating off him. He wanted to let the girl know how deserving she was, as he was in this state years ago, when he was still starting in BTS.

Lisa looked at him in shock. "Guk.. I don't know what to say."

"You don't need to say anything."

"Where did you learn that?" She asked, tilting her head. Jeongguk then realised that her tears were dry now, and all that's left were the wetness on her pajama shirt.

"Learn what?"

"About me leaving Thailand when I was 14 and me being prohibited from speaking in English."

Crap. "Oh, um. Taehyung told me." It was a lie though, he has always been a long time fan ever since their debut. However, the lack of comebacks made him lose interest, hence why when he met Lisa, he wasn't that excited.

"Really? Nice." Lisa commented. "I'm sorry for being a crying mess, by the way. I'm just... it's overwhelming." She looked down.

"Why'd you come here though?" He asked, before realizing what it meant, "I mean, we could talk things through at an isolated cafe or whatever but... why here?"

She rubbed her nape, "Uh, yeah, about that." Nervously chuckling, "I was actually planning to... let my frustration out by... other things." She cleared her throat, "But now I couldn't, because uh... what you said... really lifted my spirits up."

Oh. Oh. "So that's why." He felt awkward, "I'm sorry if I didn't meet your expectations."

"No, it's fine." Lisa shook her head. "It's okay, it's much better this way."

"Um, if y-you want... we can..." God, why am I stuttering? "Do... you know."

She laughed awkwardly, "Maybe next time... when I'm not crying."

"I can make you cry, too, though. Not just from sadness." He winked, not sure where this surge of confidence came from. The girl in front of him raised her brows.

Lisa suddenly smirked. "Oh yeah?" A challenge.

Oh, God. He thought, gulping. The mood changed quickly.

"Although," She added, scooting closer, "I think I'm still a bit frustrated. Can you take care of that?" The sadness in her eyes was slowly disappearing, replaced by a mischievous glint.

Jeongguk cleared his throat and grinned, "Gladly."

Lisa leaned in, both faces inches away. He held in his breath, nervous, as their lips brushed against each other. Here goes nothing.

"You know what," She spoke, leaning back again, "Maybe next time."

He watched in shock as she stood and went to the door knob. "You're such a tease-"

"Thank you for your words. Goodnight, Kookie." She blew him a flying kiss and left the room, leaving him a dry and high mess.