you told yourself that

it's not you, it's them

;

"rosé, you're going to be a part of a girl group now, aren't you?"

"yes, i will be, miss junghwa." rosé replied obediently, holding her guitar.

"that's great news." junghwa gave her a fake smile. "for tonight's song, you'll be practicing an english one, so that you'll be versatile in whatever language you'll be singing." she removed the cigarette stick from her mouth and started puffing the smoke towards her face.

"okay." she replied, not really in the mood for singing and ignoring the smell of cigarette.

"for this genre, i have chosen country and the song will be mean by taylor swift. she's the most famous country singer at the moment so let's give it a try." luckily, she knew the chords so she just started to sing it.

by the second verse, her throat started to hurt from the baby voice that she had to stop and clear her throat. as usual, junghwa didn't like this idea so she threw rosé's guitar across the room and made her sit on the stool.

"rosé, we have been practicing this voice for two years! two goddamn years! why don't you still get it?!" she screamed, frustrated.

she had enough, so she told her the truth. "i'm fucking tired of having to follow somebody's voice! if i were to be an actual singer, i would want to be me. not a second park bom or a second taeyang. i just want to be me, as park chaeyoung."

"but you aren't going to be just an actual singer. you're going to be called a yg artist. a name that even kim youngbin and park jinyoung are afraid of." she was referring to the ceo's of their rival agencies, and she kind of agreed with her, just for once.

"well, what if i don't want to be a yg artist?" she stood up, raising her voice.

"oh, don't worry. we'll do that for you." junghwa takes out again her cigarette stick, then harshly grabbed rosé's arm with an iron grip. "tell me, chaeyoung. have you even tried cigarettes?"

she tried to remove her arm from her grip, but it just wouldn't budge. she was a hundred one percent sure that it would bruise later on.

"dear god, stop moving!" the older woman tightened her grip and pressed the lighted tip of the cigarette to her arm, making her scream out in pain. "why did i never try this out in the past? the results are absolutely amazing!" she exclaimed and pressed the cigarette tip harder.

"miss junghwa, stop, please! it burns!" rosé's cheeks were full of tears now, and all she could do was stare as junghwa repeatedly pressed the tip of the cigarette while her other arm became numb.

"i'll stop if you're good enough."

at that moment, rosé realized that

the most terrifying thing in the world to have is a dream.