How does one solve a problem? Easy. Bring another problem to the surface, and there you go. A shitty solution to a shitty challenge.

That's how it's worked for Jeongguk. Still does. Whenever he finds himself in the middle of a dilemma, the first thing that comes into his mind is to find something else to worry about. His hyungs told him that this was an unhealthy and worrying, but this is the way how he copes with things. Pile them into one hell of a mess. Wait until it comes back to bite his ass.

It works. Most of the time.

So when Jeongguk barges into Hwayoung's apartment at fuck o'clock in the AM, he doesn't wait for anything else and proceeds to kiss the living daylights out of her. No questions asked.

Hwayoung, as per usual, takes it like a champ.

The door remains open but he doesn't give a single fuck. Not right now when his emotional state is disastrous heap, pickled with bits and pieces of a familiar black-haired girl. He continues peppering kisses to Hwayoung's jaw nonetheless. Sucks the spot behind her ear a little too harshly. Squeezes her waist so tight that she gasps.

"Gguk," a breathless moan. Hwayoung starts to grip his forearms.

He doesn't stop his ministrations.

Black hair. Round eyes. Plump lips. Fuck. One of his hands come up to Hwayoung's neck. Neck... the soft lines of her neck, her collarbone, her shoulders. The body suit. He closes his hand around it, slowly. Testing.

Hwayoung sighs in content.

He squeezes a bit more.

But then.

Star eyes. Warm lips. The feeling after he missed his cheek...

Fuck. Jeongguk is so fucked.

He pulls away, lips red and raw and bitten. He leans his forehead to her shoulder, breaths hard and long. "I can't--" he whispers, "Hwayoung, I can't... I can't do this."

Jeongguk hears her let out a small noise. He can't look at her right now. Not when all he sees is Lisa's eyes. "What do you mean? What--"

"I can't... I can't have..." he releases her and steps back. He just can't. "I can't do this. I can't have... have this."

It takes a little while for Hwayoung to follow, but she does and he hopes she understands. "Oh," she murmurs. Evident confusion bleeds into that small sound. "But you... you were the one who contacted me? Then what...?"

From the corner of his eye, he sees her fixing the rumpled silk robe that's hanging from her shoulders. "I just. I don't know. I can't."

Silence blankets the entire apartment. Jeongguk could hear the faint hum of the fridge, the small sounds emitted by the AC, but none of them say anything. He knows Hwayoung is thinking, feels her scrutizining him from his feet to his head.

"Okay," is all that comes out from her mouth. "Okay, something is wrong here. Something is wrong with you," she emphasises, he swallows, "and whatever it is we need to talk about it. Now."

"Hwayoungie--"

The woman pulls him until his ass lands on the soft cushion of her couch, and Jeongguk has no choice but to sit back and gather his thoughts as she observes him like a hawk.

"Spill," she says, as if it's that easy to pinpoint each of his thoughts and collect them until he forms them comprehensible sentences. Yet Hwayoung looks at him, waiting. Not rushing. Just there, so Jeongguk takes his sweet time and thinks about it--really thinks about it.

He thinks about these... feelings blooming in his stomach whenever Lisa does something as mundane as smiling. Or laughing. Or giggling. Basically, anything she does. He finds his eyes always trained on her, eager to capture every moment or drink up every sound.

It's been happening quite a lot these days. She even teased him for it because she caught him staring at her for too long when they were scouring for The Weeknd vinyls in a record store. He only blushed and denied it, as usual.

And then the hug. It's been weeks but that feeling still lingers in his chest. He remembers how pink her cheeks were when she asked for his consent, how her hair felt under his nose when he nuzzled into her.

The worst headache of them all, though, is the kiss.

Jeongguk still doesn't know how to feel about that, but the warmth remains on his cheeks. He thinks that if he concentrates enough, he would feel Lisa's lips again, soft and inviting and gentle. He thinks he could still feel the fan of her lashes against his temple.

What exactly is this?

"I'm..." he begins after taking two deep breaths, "confused."

He's confused. Yes, that's the word that perfectly describes his current situation. Confused.

Hwayoung doesn't falter. She nods at him, encouraging. "Confused about what?"

"About all of this," he answers honestly. "About the whole soulmate thing and everything and I don't... I don't know how to interpret these things."

"Go on."

"Like... I don't know if what I'm feeling is because of our soul bond or because it's really how I truly feel." Saying out loud makes it even more confusing, and he scratches the back of his ear. "Do I make sense? I'm not sure what I feel for Lisa is genuine or solely because of the fact that we're soulmates. Am I feeling this because she was made for me, or because I sincerely, truly, like her?"

The L word tastes so bitter in his mouth.

Hwayoung nods, though. Always understanding. "And what's wrong with that, exactly? She's your soulmate. You'll end up together whether you like it or not."

Whether you like it or not. It doesn't sound good in his ears.

"But I don't want to," he interrupts. There. It's out. He takes the opportunity to voice out what he's been thinking all this time. "I don't want to end up with her. Or anyone else for that matter. Soulmates are nice and all, but I'm just... I don't want to try again."

He thinks about Jinwoo, of how he reminds him of the sun, and then Lisa, of how she shines as bright as a star.

Two different things, two different orbits, but all the same. They're both bright and they shine and they burn. As much as Jeongguk doesn't want to admit it, the sun is also a star, and they can't be anymore distinct.

What Jinwoo did to him, there might be a possibility that Lisa will, too.

"I used to fantasize about this, you know. Of me meeting my soulmate, us being together and shit, but now that I've met her and I'm again reminded of what love can do to a person--to me... I just--" he shakes his head, "I don't want to try again. I don't want to go back to the person I was before."

He doesn't want to go back to those times anymore, not when his life is as good as it is now. To return would only erase everything he'd done to be him again.

But to his surprise, Hwayoung scoffs. "You're the stupidest person I've ever met."

"Huh?"

"Jeongguk." Hwayoung's voice is firm, eyes almost glaring. That's... new. "Jinwoo and Lisa are two different persons. I know you're probably thinking that whatever happened might happen again, but you've got to keep in mind that you've only just met Lisa and you practically don't know anything about her yet."

"I do know--"

"Yeah? What's her favorite color, then?" Jeongguk opens his mouth to reply, but nothing comes to mind. "What's her favourite thing to do in her free time? Her favourite food? Her favourite song to play in her bass? Her favourite book?"

His silence is the only answer he could give. He isn't lying, he does know other things about her, but Hwayoung is just too much. He doesn't have to know every single little thing about Lisa for crying out loud. They're just friends. That's it. That's all what he wants them to be.

(Does he, really?)

The corner of Hwayoung's lips tilt upwards, satisfied. "See? You don't even know." He looks away, annoyance settling in the pit of stomach. "It's 'cause you're not even trying, Gguk. You're just jumping into conclusions and letting these thoughts consume you. You have to know that whatever Jinwoo had done won't happen again. Lisa is Lisa. Jinwoo is Jinwoo."

"You don't know that," he says back, clenching his jaw.

"And you do?"

"Just--" Damn it. He stands up and picks up his discarded coat by the floor, letting out a harsh exhale. He shouldn't have come here. "I'm going home."

Hwayoung follows after him, ever the insistent. "There you go again. Leaving when things get tough. Aren't you tired of running away from your dilemma? I was telling the truth, Gguk. Why can't you just face it?"

Yeah, right, he thinks while putting his mask on. Through gritted teeth, he says, "You don't know anything, Hwayoung. You're just saying that to make me make a fool of myself again. You don't even know her, hell, you're just assuming things about her."

"Aren't you doing the same thing, too?" She retorts, blocking his way as he tries to get to the door. "If you're not aware, you're not doing any much better. Stop comparing Jinwoo to every person that comes into your life with nothing but good intentions, Jesus Christ. Not everyone is like him."

He scoffs. This isn't the first time that this happened, obviously, and this conversation has been said and repeated more than a couple of times. Every time he comes in and opens up about the same thing, Hwayoung says the same words over and over again. Jinwoo is different. Not everyone is like him.

But Hwayoung doesn't know Jinwoo like he does, and Hwayoung definitely doesn't know what people like him can do.

"I can't listen to this, I'm tired." He tries to push her to the side so he can make his exit, but Hwayoung doesn't budge. She resumes to glare at him, and that spikes his growing annoyance. "Goddamnit. What the hell do you want?"

"I want you--" She pushes a finger to his chest, "--to stop shutting people out. It's not good anymore, Gguk. Every time someone shows a little bit of interest in you you always assume the worst." Jeongguk laughs, a harsh sound that makes her eyes wide. "Stop-- just-- fuck. Stop that kind of mindset. Not everyone wants to hurt you. Not everyone will leave you. Stop thinking like that because it's not good anymore."

With a hand, he pries Hwayoung's hand away. "Stop acting like you know what's best for me. You're not my mother."

"I am your friend, Jeongguk!" She finally raises her voice. She's exasperated, he can tell because he is, too. He's too tired for this shit. "I care about you! I'm not acting like I know what's best for you, I'm giving you advice because you're acting like a fucking idiot right now!"

"Well, I don't want your advice!" He bursts out. "Okay? I came here to hear your thoughts but now I don't want to anymore. You've been saying the same thing for the past year and I'm tired of it." He huffs. "You say she won't hurt me, but how can you be so sure of that? You haven't even met her! You don't know what's going to happen and I don't either. So it's better to not give this... this thing between Lisa and I a chance because... because I don't want to."

She may be his soulmate, but Jeongguk doesn't want to try anything so soon. Soul bonded or not, he's not ready to give himself to another. Probably never, but it's for the best. He doesn't want to get hurt again. Not anymore.

Hwayoung's nostrils flare in anger. Jeongguk waits for another barrage of scolding, but she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. When she opens them again, she seems calmer, more controlled.

"Okay," she says, a little forced, but she nods. "Okay, fine. Do your own thing. I won't interfere."

Jeongguk heads to the door at that, despite the angry feeling clawing in his chest. "You shouldn't."

The last thing he hears before leaving the apartment is Hwayoung saying, "Let me know when you're done acting like a dick!"

hey

i heard u left early

something wrong?

10:01PM

the afterparty sucks

where are u?

10:40PM

[PHOTO ATTACHED]

im w bambam rn!! found

him while looking for u

10:50PM

LMAO I JUST TALKED TO ONE

OF UR MEMBERS FJDKJG

hoseok-ssi i think

i asked him where u were but

he didnt know so

are u ok?

btw it was so awkward i didnt

know what to say at all

lemme know if ur fine!!

11:30PM

HEYYYY I JUST WENT HOME

ill go to sleep now

leo says goodnight

nightnight jeon

12:59AM

can we talk

i have to say something

1:09PM

this is important

1:15PM

fine if youre just

going to keep on

ignoring me let me

just say this once and

for all

i didnt get to answer

your question last night

but i did a little digging

and asked my friends

about it and they said that

the soulmate bond

literally only connects

your souls and nothing more

so whatever shit ur feeling for

ur soulmate right now,

it's genuine

1:45PM

are you just going

to ignore me?

great

well, you know what

fuck you

go and give her

a chance you

dumb fuck!!!

1:58PM

hey?

you haven't been replying

for the past 3 days

what's up

8:32PM

just checking up

on you

let me know if ur fine

8:56PM

look i found a rare vinyl

at a vintage store sjghjk

9:49AM

im sooo tired

we had a recording

session today

are u ok?

11:21PM

Jeongguk reads Hwayoung's texts over and over again, his eyes not leaving the screen as he attempts to make sense of what she said.

The soul bond connects the soul and nothing more.

Does that mean--

He flinches as his throbs in pain. Fuck, it's been too long since he's last seen his soulmate. Was it five days ago? Six? Nine? He isn't entirely sure. All he knows is that he's been cooped up in his own studio the past week, working on whatever he could get his hands on. Song writing is a nice distraction, and keeping himself inside the studio makes him forget about his worries for a little while.

It's pretty self-destructive, but meh, it works.

And of course, he's not oblivious to the amount of texts Lisa and Hwayoung had sent him. He's aware it's a dick move to ignore them, but he's also aware that if he tries to respond to either of them he might say something that would lead to a bad situation.

So, without so much as a choice, he sends a quick text to Lisa and starts packing.

Clearly, he hadn't thought this through. He forgot about the fact that he couldn't avoid Lisa as much as he wants to seeing as the bond still connects them together, and sooner or later he'd have to face his feelings and admit what he truly wants to happen. He's already got the speech in his head and everything, and he thinks he's a little ready to reject her gently. Gently, because he's not a heartless jerk.

As he puts on his mask and his bucket hat, he thinks of his speech.

"Hey, Noobs, by the way, I just want to tell you that I'm not interested in a relationship right now. Or, ever. Yeah, sorry."

That sounds douche-y, he thinks, cringing.

"Lis, haha, random thought, but have you imagined us in a relationship? I haven't. It's weird, haha."

Okay. Gross. That was fuckboy-ish.

"You're pretty and I think you're nice and you're wonderful in all ways possible and I think I like you a little too much and the way you laugh makes my heart hurt and any person would be lucky to have you, but I don't think I'm that person. I'm sorry."

Yeah, sounds about right. That's what he's gonna say as soon as he steps into Lisa's studio. He's going to stop this thing that they have and they'd go back to being friends and Lisa would be eternally single... wait. She's friends with Bambam... and Bambam is single... so if Jeongguk rejects Lisa would she and Bambam--

"Sir, here's your stop," the taxi driver interrupts. Jeongguk blinks and wordlessly hands his card, his thoughts running a mile per minute.

Bambam hasn't found his soulmate yet, he thinks. So, if he were to let go of Lisa, would Lisa and Bambam...? God. He can't even finish the word because what the hell. The idea disturbs him so bad that he almost forgets his card as he hastily leaves the car, heart and body already eager to meet his other half.

His mind is a mess as he speeds through the entrance and the halls of the infamous YG Entertainment. He completely ignores the all-white interior and heads towards Lisa's studio, the staff staring at him as he speedwalks to his destination.

When he comes face to face with her studio door, he stops to catch his breath. What the hell, did he really just climb through three staircases? Damn. His gym coach would be proud of him for this one.

Jeongguk doesn't go in the studio just yet, though. He catches his breath and places both of his hands against the wall, his head hanging in between his shoulders as he gathers his thoughts. All that running had made him forget about his main agenda and it would be a problem if he finds himself in a stuttered mess when he's face to face with his soulmate later. He should be confident, firm, and sure. There's no time for uncertainties now. He has to do it.

Wait. What was he here for again? Ah, right. To confront Lisa of what he wants to happen, and also because the soul bond is pulling them together again. So, just to make sure, in his mind, he forms a half-assed plan of how he wants everything to go: as soon as Lisa opens the door, Jeongguk would go to her and make his grand announcement while looking into her eyes.

He'll say, "Hey, Lis. Before anything else, I just would like to make things clear: I'm not a relationship type of guy, so if you're hoping for things to go in that direction, I'm afraid I'd have to disappoint you." It's nice, it's obvious, it's not harsh. It's just right.

And then, if he's lucky, Lisa might still invite him inside and they'd spend time together--as friends this time around. Real friends. Friends who'll only be friends and nothing more. Then they'd go home, and Lisa wouldn't text him like how she always does, and Jeongguk would go back to his old ways and do whatever he wants without worrying if he's said goodnight to Lisa or not.

Mhm. Sounds about right.

(Although, why does this idea feels so wrong?)

His thoughts were cut short as the door suddenly opens and he's enveloped into a warm embrace. Jeongguk faintly registers Lisa's familiar scent before she's pulling away again, concern and worry written in her face.

"Oh my God, I thought you died or something. Are you okay?" Lisa asks, her eyes wide and big and Jeongguk easily forgets what he is here for. She's in her usual get up--big shirt and big pants and her black hair mussed up into a messy bun--and he would be lying if the sight doesn't render him speechless because it sure as hell did. "You weren't replying to me so I thought you've been--"

"I, um," he stammers. "I'm-I'm fine. Yeah. I've just been... busy writing songs and stuff so... yeah. That's it."

Great. The confidence is just oozing out of him, huh.