merry christmas

you have the package?

12:57AM

meowee christmas 😸

also YES i have it!!!

idk if this is supposed to be

insulting but i love it wtf

12:59AM

:

it is what it is

1:10AM

saw ur performance a while ago btw

i didn't know the pokemon gang

was coming to the show??

1:15AM

:

shut up we weren't the pokemon

gang

the concept was 90s

you just don't know fashion

1:18AM

im the ambassador of celine

and bvlgari wdym i don't know

fashion

1:20AM

:

yeah and u also wear torn tshirts

with cat hairs on so

1:22AM

that's called minimalist

fashion idiotttttt it's the trend rn

1:23AM

:

whatever u say

anyway

im gonna go sleep now

im tired as fuckkk

have a merry christmas

1:25AM

likewise ~

1:27AM

When you're part of the idol life, Christmas doesn't feel Christmas at all. There's no Christmas spirit rippling around, no waking up during Christmas mornings to open gifts, no Christmas dinner nor Christmas breakfast. Instead, it's just filled with 30-minutes long performances, late night rehearsals until the sun comes up, and sweaty bodies all packed into one waiting room. Jeongguk knows he should be used to it, but it still irks him somehow.

So when he wakes up Christmas morning to see Taehyung lounging on the kitchen counter like it was any normal winter day, he lets out a long sigh. His body is so fucking sore, he's not sure how he even manages to keep himself upright.

"Morning," his hyung greets in his usual baritone. Jeongguk only hums in reply. "A little birdie told me you sent a particular someone a gift yesterday."

"Lisa's a friend," he defends himself instantly. With swift hands he grabs a box of Frosties and milk from the fridge and places them on the counter to prepare his half-assed breakfast.

Taehyung chuckles deeply as Jeongguk pours the milk first into a bowl, adding the cereal a little bit later. "I didn't say it was Lisa though," he hums teasingly, though Jeongguk knows better, "but now that we're on the topic, are you guys, you know, together?"

"Never," comes out from his mouth before Taehyung could even finish the sentence. "We're friends--what's with that look? We're friends now. What else could we become?"

"I don't know, full on soulmates maybe? Boyfriend-girlfriend, that stuff," his hyung says as if it's not a big deal. He continues ratting out about the complexities of the soulmate phenomena, how to strengthen soul bonds and whatnot, but Jeongguk isn't hearing it.

The thing is, Lisa is a great friend. She's a good person. She's kind, genuine. Never takes anyone's shit, never gives a single fuck about what people think of her. In the nearly four months he's known her, she's been nothing but real, and he thinks that's admirable.

But to him, that's all she'll ever be. A friend, because Jeongguk doesn't do relationships.

They're complicated. They end in nasty ways, too. It requires too much of your time, demands a considerable amount of effort, and practically keeps you on your toes because you never know what might happen next. It's all just utter shit and Jeongguk doesn't think he can deal with the whole unnecessary process of getting to know each other just so everything would crash in the end.

The last time he was in a proper relationship with someone was three years ago. His ex was another male idol from another boy group, someone from a small company. Jeongguk wishes he could say it was a good one, yet thinking about his ex only brought hurt and regret. It still does, but he tries his best to avoid thinking about it as much as possible.

Feelings truly are a pain in the ass. He's just glad he doesn't have to deal with them anymore.

"You're getting along well, aren't you?" Taehyung was asking, still so enraptured to his own thoughts that his noodles started sticking on every surface with the way he waves his chopsticks. "If you are then that's another great way to be closer, too, especially--"

"Hyung," he finally interrupts. "I don't know if you remember but I don't do all that boyfriend-girlfriend-whicheverfriend stuff anymore. I'm over it."

Taehyung looks confused. "Why not? She's your soulmate. Aren't you supposed to be, I don't know, meant for each other?"

"That doesn't always happen, hyung." He rolls his eyes and sits on the chair opposite of the other. "It's not all happy ever after in the end. We're just friends."

"But you gave her a gift... and you spend so much time with her. Surely there's something developing?"

Jeongguk sighs. "Yeah, a friendship. That's it. Nothing else."

"People are talking, Gguk. They think there's something there."

He plays with his now soggy cereal and brings a spoonful to his lips. "Let them talk."

Taehyung gives him a long look, and he has that faraway gaze in his eyes that Jeongguk can't really describe. He thinks he's about to say something, but he shakes his head and goes back to his food.

Yeah. A friend. That's all Lisa will be to him.

happy holidays gguk!!

3:29PM

:

same

3:33PM

:

how r u and lover girl doing

3:34PM

:

the who now?

3:40PM

:

soulmate

3:41PM

:

why is everyone asking me

about her

3:45PM

:

curiosity

3:45PM

:

🙄

goodbye

3:48PM

:

let's see each other soon yeah?

3:49PM

:

mmm i know what you're implying

3:50PM

:

yeah yeah whatever

3:51PM

:

horny ass

will do 😉

3:55PM

Jeongguk has never imagined himself celebrating Christmas in a lone café, but here he is, in a secluded coffee shop just nearby the outskirts of Seoul. Not many people go here which he's thankful for, so he removes his mask and sips on his Iced Americano peacefully, like any other normal customer.

There are several others inside, but none of them paid him any mind--thank the Gods. The cashiers and the baristas go on about their business as this place has been his usual go-to café when Seoul gets under his skin, making him a constant customer. It's an escape of sorts.

Midway through his mindless scrolling, his heart starts to beat erratically. Fuck. Jeongguk puts a hand on his chest because of the new sensation, only worsened by the unnatural warmness that's prickling his skin. He takes deep breaths, and then suddenly a hand lands on his shoulders.

"Oh, it really is you."

His heart calms down at the voice. The warm feeling seeps into his skin, spreading comfort inside his bones.

With a fluttering feeling in his chest, he turns around and sees her. "Lis? What are you doing here?"

Lisa stands behind him clad in a long-sleeved turtleneck, hands wrapped around a chocolate-y drink topped with whipped cream. She smiles down at him, full cheeks on show. Immediately, Jeongguk beams back at the sight. "I frequent this café. How about you?"

"I go here whenever I get sick of the Seoul air. To destress, you know? I had no idea you go here too," he answers honestly and takes another sip of his drink.

She hums and shifts on her feet. "Yeah... come to think of it, I think I've gotten a glimpse of you one time before."

"Don't go all sappy on me now and say this is some soulmate coincidence because it isn't," he jokes before Lisa adds another teasing comment. Jeongguk snorts at her appalled expression and nods towards the opposite chair. "Do you wanna sit down?"

"Are you sure?"

"Dude. I told you the other day that I watched a foot fetish orgy before. Why are you acting all weird now?"

A laugh escapes Lisa's mouth. "I was going to sit down, dumbo. Just gotta act like I'm not that desperate, jeez." She slides into the other chair smoothly and places her drink on the table. "So, what's up?"

Jeongguk frowns as he stares at her cup. The amount of chocolate inside... Jesus. He feels dizzy by just looking at it. "Is that diabetes in a cup?"

"It's a chocolate chip frappe, you uncultured bitch," she says with a judgemental look and takes a long, long sip to spite him. "Ever had a cheat day before?"

"I have, but not as intense as that."

She removes her mouth from the straw and sticks her tongue out at him--yes, she's very mature. He's come to learn that in the past few months. "You're no fun, Jeon Jeongguk."

"I am fun."

"Yeah, right." The atmosphere instantly shifts to a comfortable one, something that usually happens whenever Lisa is around. "Anyway. You said you come here whenever you want to destress."

"Mhm, and?" The Americano in his hands is almost halfway done.

"Are you? Stressed, I mean?"

"Depends." The pop star shrugs. "Do I look like shit?"

"You always do."

"Thanks for the compliment," he sarcastically retorts, to which she chuckles. "But yeah, I guess I am. Especially with all this Christmas stuff. It's all just... too much."

Probably sensing the sudden downturn of his mood, Lisa stops drinking and stares at him intently. "Do you want to talk about it?"

The change is immediate. Jeongguk doesn't know if this is supposed to happen with soulmates, but whenever there's a shift in his mood, his other half seems to always notice.

"I mean, if it's okay..." He's known her for quite a while, but the both of them are still standing in the midst of blurred lines. Jeongguk trusts her, yes, but he isn't sure if he's ready to reveal a sliver of himself yet, even if it's just as small as this.

One of the corner of her mouth pulls upwards. "It's fine. You can tell me, I'll listen," she says in reassurance. "And! I won't laugh, I promise." Lisa makes a gesture of zipping her mouth and throws the imaginary key away, the silliness of it almost making Jeongguk smile. "Key gone, now talk."

"It's really petty, I swear, but--" He takes a deep breath, "--I just, I hate being not able to celebrate Christmas with my family, you know? Or any other holidays for that matter."

He waits for the teasing, the laughter.

But as promised, there's none.

Lisa looks back at him with the same understanding eyes, cheeks flushed from the cold.

He takes this as a sign to continue. "I know there are other people who has it worse than I do, but idol life is just... it sucks everything right out of you. Your time, your focus, your body, until you have nothing left for yourself. I love my job but sometimes I just want to go home and be with my mom and--shit, I sound so stupid right now, I'm sorry," he cuts himself off because of the embarrassment that's slowly creeping in.

He feels pathetic. Getting stressed just because he couldn't come home for the holidays? That's too shallow.

"Why are you apologizing?" Lisa asks with a scowl, the tips of her fingers brushing against his. "It's your feelings, don't apologize for them. It's fine, trust me."

Jeongguk tries to find anything in her eyes. Mockery, disdain, judgement... but all he could see was the sincerity and nothing more.

A relieved sigh makes its way out of his mouth, the tension disappearing as fast as it came.

"The last time I was home for Christmas was when eight years ago," he continues. "The company doesn't give us Christmas breaks because we have all these performances on Christmas evening 'til the New Years and we spend most of our time practicing for them--which honestly is even more draining. I just... want to go home and be with my family and eat home made food." He rubs his face in frustration, brought about by the thought of his parents and his brother, "Sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in here with nowhere to go to... it's suffocating. We barely have free time at all, what with all the endorsements and projects our management has for us. God. I dunno what I'm talking about. Maybe I'm just overreacting?"

"Nah." Lisa shakes her head. "You're not. What you're feeling is valid. Just let it all out. I'll listen."

And Jeongguk feels even more better as he rants his frustrations out, with Lisa commenting what she thinks every now and then. She doesn't make him feel bad about it, which he's thankful for, and she offers surprisingly good advices that he keeps in mind for future use.

They even manage to crack jokes in between just to lighten the atmosphere.

("Can you imagine going to 15 award shows within two months?! I'm going to fucking faint one of these days. I swear."

"Can't relate. Our company only lets us go to like, three award shows max and then that's it."

"Oh. That's... sad."

"Tell me about it.")

By the time he's all done, his chest is heaving and his Americano is long gone. Lisa has settled nicely across from him, her arms wrapped around her body as she finishes the last portions of her cold frappe.

"And that's it," he finishes with a sigh. "That's all I have to say. I'm tired and I want a break, but I don't want to stop. Does that make any sense?"

"It does," she agrees and rubs the sides of her arms. "You just perfectly described what I feel."

Jeongguk licks his lips and slightly nudges her foot. "How about you? Do you go home during holidays as well?"

Lisa shakes her head. "I don't. I've been spending my Christmases in Seoul for years. It sucks ass."

"Why not?"

She shrugs like it isn't a big thing, but he sees the noticeable slump of her shoulders. "The company says it's difficult, I don't know why. Every time I ask them about it, they always say that they'll try but in the end I never get to go home. So I just stay here and mope."

An image of Lisa and her five cats in her lonely apartment living room manifests itself in Jeongguk's mind. At the though, a twinge of pity slithers into his heart.

He hasn't really thought about it that much, but it only dawns upon him that Lisa has a family in Thailand yet she's been spending the majority of her life away from them. He couldn't even bear being away from his family for a few months, let alone the holidays. She must be feeling worse... and still she took the time to listen to him.

Jeongguk feels guilty.

"Yah, what's with that look?" She snaps at him jokingly that he looks up in surprise. "You look like something just died. You okay?"

Jeongguk blinks. "Oh, uh, nothing. Um... do you-- do you wanna talk about it?"

He sees the exact moment she hesitates. The way she said her words earlier sounded nonchalant, like she doesn't care at all, but now as he stares at her longer, she seems to be struggling. "I don't... I don't really think there's a need to talk about it. I'm fine, Jeon, if that's what you're worried about."

"Oh. But, uh," he says without thinking, "if you need to talk to, I'm here."

Fuck, that sounds so cliché. Jeongguk wants the ground to swallow him whole.

Then, Lisa snorts unceremoniously. "That was the corniest shit I've ever heard."

Jeongguk feels his cheeks heat up and tries to look for a distraction. "Yeah, what the fuck. I can't believe I said that."

It's quiet then. By this time, he knows there are 1,478 squares on the ceiling, including the big one in the middle, and-- "But do you mean it?"

He lowers his head to scan her face, taken aback by the question. Lisa's intently gazing at him now, a soft, warm look in her eyes. Gulping, he nods wordlessly.

And she smiles.

They stare at each other for what seems like forever, and Jeongguk's heart starts to beat even faster. His eyes trace the shape of her eyes, the soft slope of her nose, the plumpness of her lips. Unconsciously, his hand start to twitch, nearing her own on top of the table. If he reaches out even further he can hold--

"Ah, fucking hell. Look at us, acting like highschoolers. Is this some fanfiction shit or what?" Finally, Lisa looks away. He doesn't know if it's just the light, but did her cheeks just become redder or is he just imagining it? "Do you want cake?"

What the hell was that?

It's probably just soulmate instincts.

Jeongguk snaps out of it and chuckles lightly at their current situation. "Just as long as it's your treat."

And just like that, they're back to normal again.

The two of them spend a couple more hours inside the café, not leaving until they finished the four slices of cake that Lalisa ordered out of impulse. Jeongguk didn't realize that it was already nearing midnight when takes the last bite of his red velvet, too caught up with the way Lisa was talking about that one time she swore she saw a ghost in her childhood home in Bangkok, about how she always dreamed to be an idol when she was a child, and how she attempted to make pasta for Rosé but ended up burning a hole through the ceiling instead.

As Lalisa releases another wave of laughter, somewhere in the depths of his mind, he's beginning to realize why she shines so brightly in the midst of all these shadows. She keeps the stars in her eyes, and somehow, in some way, Jeongguk is willing to be blinded by her light.

(... if only he isn't scared of the Sun.)

!

♡ the longer you and your

soulmate spend time with another,

the deeper your bond will get.

wink wink!

in this chapter we witnessed jk's duALity ✨ BUT baby steps, everyone, baby steps!! also idk if uve noticed but im not really trying to add angst in this story bc it's meant to be light and fun and short, but there will be angst in the upcoming chaptersz. light angst i think? whatever. it's angst

also in this world the mmas happen in late october-early november btw. let's pretend OK also the pandemic doesn't exist 😡