Jeongguk never did believe in the saying, "People change." To him, humans grow and develop new qualities, they alter behaviours and evolve in numerous ways, but they do not change completely.

And yet, as he holds the Artist of the Year daesang in his hands, damn does he feel like a changed man.

The chosen club for tonight's after party booms as the bass of a random EDM song blasts through the speakers. Him and his hyungs are settled comfortably in one of the booths, all of them in an extremely good mood after receiving a mouthful of congratulations from their staff and other idols.

Jeongguk tilts the award sideways and observes as the engraved Mnet Asian Music Awards shone under the red-blue lights. God, it feels so surreal. He can't believe he's actually holding a daesang--a daesang that they've won and they've worked hard for.

"Gguk-ah," Yoongi says from beside him. "You've been staring at that thing for an hour now. Put it down, will you?"

His hyungs laugh loudly at the comment, and Jeongguk can't help but let a dumb smile take over his face. He's happy. So, so happy.

"Hey, I'm not the type to stick my nose into someone's business," Hoseok suddenly raises his voice from the other side. "But did Lalisa from QOD talk to you earlier? Like talk talk?"

Of course, like Pavlovian dogs, the rest of his members cheer and yell at Hobi's sudden reveal.

"Ooh, things are getting steamy!"

"Jeonggukie is on the move!"

"Did she smell your fart yet, Gguk?"

(Okay, ignore that last comment. That was from Taehyung. He's drunk.)

The youngest of the seven feels his face burn from the sudden spotlight. He scratches the back of his head out of awkwardness and shrugs. "Well, it's nothing major. We talk and bond and stuff, you know, the usual soulmate thing, but we aren't really in a relationship yet."

Someone throws a chicken breast towards his direction. "He said yet! He said yet!"

"I know what I said!"

"Okay, okay, I think we should stop screaming at Jeongguk. He looks flustered already," Namjoon tries to calm them down. Thank God for his hyung, he's always been so-- "But let's talk about it calmly. How has it been with her?" He grins.

Forget what he said. Namjoon may be the most sensible out of them all, but that doesn't mean he isn't as mischievous.

"It's alright, I guess," is what he says, because he isn't really too keen on talking about him and Lalisa. "We bond and stuff. We talk. We communicate through text."

The other members are quiet, not appeased with his answer.

Jimin snaps his fingers impatiently. "Okay... and?"

Under their heavy stares, it's impossible to avoid the question now. "And she's actually, uh, nice," he adds. "She's very... um... she talks a lot and she likes doing pranks. Very open minded, too. Has an obsession with cats and stupid jokes."

At the mention of pranks, her recent prank comes into his mind. Fuck, he still remembers the way she looked lying unconscious like that--eyes firmly closed and mouth open as if she just came out of a fucking movie. Jeongguk couldn't believe that he fell for it and that he--

"...with her. What-- wait, are you smiling?"

He snaps his head up in an instant. "What? Smiling where?"

Taehyung looks at him accusingly. "You were smiling just now."

"I wasn't."

"You were!" Taehyung argues. The others voiced out their opinions by teasingly hitting the youngest and singing love songs. "Are you perhaps in--"

"Don't even say it!" Jeongguk speaks up before he even finishes the sentence. "That's a forbidden word. No, no, no."

His hyung is easy to talk to, so he just shrugs. "Okay, let's talk about something else then. Oh!" His brightens up, and then: "I thought you hated her?"

"Hate is such a strong word, hyung."

"Dislike then. I thought you disliked her?"

Jeongguk stops to think. Hmm, maybe at some point he did, but thinking about it now--

He doesn't really know.

"Yeah..." He sounds so unsure that his mind starts to spin. Why did he dislike her again? Ah. Whatever it is, he'd think about it later.

"You're spacing out again," Seokjin slightly pinches his arm. "Go get yourself another drink. You need it."

Hallelujah! He thinks gratefully as he's presented with an excuse to leave. Ignoring his other hyungs' endless chaffing, Jeongguk heads towards the bar, receiving a bunch of congratulatory messages along the way. It feels good to be recognized like this, like everything he has done was worth it.

When he reaches the bar, he taps the surface twice and orders a whiskey sour, because why the fuck not?

"Here comes our artist of the year!" says a giddy voice that Jeongguk whips around to see where it came from. "Jeoooooon! What's up?"

Ah, of course. Who else could it be? Seconds later, Lalisa comes bouncing in on her toes, her bracelets clicking together and her mouth set into a wide smile that makes him think that she's a bit intoxicated.

"Are you drunk?" is the first thing he asks, scrutinizing her from head to toe. She looks beautiful as ever, dressed in a plain black blazer, a black shirt, and a pair of black pants. If Jeongguk were to ignore the club's chaos he'd think that she's out for coffee or something.

Lisa drops the smile and rolls her eyes. "Not really." She stands right next to him and makes herself comfortable against the bar. "I'm acting like I am so that my members could take me home and I'd get this party over with."

Damn. "Smart."

"Did you just compliment me?" She fakes a gasp, dramatically placing a hand on her heart. "The Jeon Jeongguk? Woah, I guess receiving a daesang really does change people, huh?"

He purposefully ignores the jab and takes a sip of his drink. "So, what are you doing here alone?"

Lisa shrugs and looks at the packed bodies in the dance floor. All the idols that attended the award show seem to be enjoying themselves--a rare occurrence, if you ask him. "I dunno. I just saw you and I felt the urge to go here and talk to you," she replies earnestly. "Soulmate instincts, I guess."

Jeongguk rarely teases her, but in that moment he feels confident enough to initiate something. He lightly nudges her shoulder in a joking manner, ignoring the small whine that comes out of her mouth. "Or maybe you just want to say hello to the artist of the year?" He wiggles his eyebrows stupidly.

She retaliates by lightly elbowing his arm. "Oh, please. I've said hello to a million people tonight. I'm exhausted."

"Song of the Year, huh?" He teases her again, and somehow his heart feels light. "How does it feel?"

"Meh. It feels like nothing's changed," she says as if it isn't a big deal--it's a daesang. It is a big deal, Jeongguk thinks. But then as he's about to argue, she turns to him and says, "Do you want to get out of here?"

He doesn't know what prompts him to do so, but he finds himself nodding along. "Sure."

Not long after, they find themselves at the stairs at the back of the club, sitting side by side as Lalisa takes out what seems to be a cigarette box out of her pocket. The club music has dwindled down into nothing but a muted sound, setting just the right mood.

"Do you smoke?" is what comes out of her mouth as soon as they settle down. She takes out two sticks and offers one to him.

Hesitantly, he takes it with a grunt. "Uh, sometimes." Smoking isn't exactly a restriction per se, but his company advises them to only use it as less as they can. He himself isn't a fan of cigarettes but it helps him cope with the stress.

"Boring." Lisa snorts and then she surprises him by raising her own stick into the light. "Do you want to try this?"

Jeongguk's eyes widen. He turns on his phone's flashlight and places his own stick under it. "Is that--"

"Obviously."

"But marijuana is--"

"I have my ways," she simply says as if they aren't just about to consume the most prohibited thing in the country. Jesus fuck. "Anyway, do you want it or not?"

Drugs have always been a thing in showbiz, he knows that. It's illegal, yes, but there are a few trusted dealers that manage to keep themselves hidden from the limelight. Jeongguk doesn't have anything against them, he really doesn't, he just prefers avoiding them as much as possible in fear of an inevitable scandal.

But right now... the joint seems tempting. Shit.

"I guess..." He lifts the stick up to his mouth. Is he really about to do this? Fuck it. "I guess trying won't hurt."

Lisa doesn't say anything else. She only lights up the end with her lighter and waits until Jeongguk takes his first puff.

It feels... well. It feels like a cigarette, only with a small hit. He takes another puff out of curiosity, and then another, and another, until his head starts to feel light. He barely registers Lisa lighting her own, too focused on the strange feeling that seems to be crawling up his mind.

"How does it feel?" She asks a little while later, breathless.

"Weird," he says honestly, because it really is fucking weird. Everything seems so slow. "Why do you have this anyway?"

"No idea. I wasn't really a fan of it at first but eventually I got used to it. Helps me stay awake during performances," Lisa replies and she sounds so normal. "It also strengthens my rock star aesthetic. You know, chains, electric guitars, black eye liner, cold behaviour, drugs."

An odd sound leaves him--something like a snort and a laugh. "Rock star aesthetic, my ass."

"What? It's true. Everyone already thinks of us as bitches who get shit handed to them, so we just do it."

Jeongguk takes another puff. "What do you mean?"

"Well, Jeon, I don't know if you live under a rock or something, but I'm pretty sure you've heard some rumors about us," she speaks, smoke leaving her lips.

Jeongguk feels a spike of guilt out of a sudden. "Which is?"

Lisa gives him an incredulous look as though he should already know. He does, but something stops him from admitting it. "Us being druggies, us mistreating our staff, us not writing our songs--you know, those rumors."

"Oh." He feels like an idiot. Oh, really? That's all he can say? Clearing his throat, he gathers enough courage to ask the next question. "Does it hurt you? When they talk about you like that?"

She hums. Jeongguk waits until she takes another puff. "I'm not going to pretend and say that it doesn't, but yeah. Of course it does." Her thumb plays with the end of her stick. "I can't do anything about it though. The company says strengthens our image. Apparently everyone seems to like it whenever we're aloof. Makes us look fierce and stuff, whatever that means."

He blinks. So... is she saying that--

"So the rumours aren't true?" He finally spits out. "You didn't--you didn't do sajaegi?"

Out of all the questions, he just had to ask that. What the fuck.

But Lisa seems to understand. With a small knowing smile on her lips, she asks, "What do you think?"

At this point, Jeongguk feels like he's floating. His thoughts are muddled, yet he tries to think back on the times they were together.

He's seen her writing lyrics during their meeting at the café. He's seen her jot down different chords at the convenience store. He knows she's always up during the early hours of the morning, during one of the rare times Jeongguk would ask what she was doing. Practice, she'd say, and then that's that.

In an instant, he feels like shit. Like, actual shit. Lisa has been nothing but kind to him, and yet all he's been to her was a dick. Who the hell tells anyone that they don't like you during their first meeting? Jeon Jeongguk, apparently.

As he thinks about all this, only one answer comes into mind.

"I don't think so."

He's always been the type of person to believe in anything, hence why he never bothered to do research as soon as the rumors about Queen of Disaster's staffs' mistreatment started to circle around. Not even when Taehyung tried so desperately to defend his friend about the sajaegi rumors, talking about how Jisoo and her members could never do that.

He guesses it's safe to say that he was wrong. That he was misunderstanding things.

Damn, he muses to himself. The joint is really doing wonders. Sober Jeongguk would never admit to his mistakes, but High Jeongguk is actually analyzing things and apologizing for them.

She chuckles at this. "Then you've got your answer."

"I'm sorry," he blurts out. He feels Lisa's stare at the side of his face, but he doesn't give her a glance. "For everything. I... I judged you. I jumped into conclusions. I'm just-- I'm really sorry."

"I know," she says, and it's quiet then. The club music is still there, the chatter of crowds still present, but the air between them is tense.

He doesn't like it one bit.

It's not until Lisa takes his right hand, momentarily surprising him. He watches with hazy eyes as she holds his pinky with her own and tangles them together, and then the tension disappears. Just like that.

"It's okay, stop thinking about it," Lisa assures him with a warm voice.

It's crazy how everything feels easy with her--like Jeongguk doesn't have to worry too much because deep inside him, he knows he could trust her.

Absentmindedly, he leans his head against her shoulder. He feels her tense for a moment before relaxing and places her head atop his.

"So," he says after taking a puff. The joint's almost gone now. "Truce?"

"Are you high?" Lisa giggles and the question makes him laugh too. Is he high? Maybe. Maybe not. "But yeah, of course. Truce."

Maybe it's the joint, maybe it's the soulmate instincts, but at that moment Jeongguk feels like everything's alright.

♡ surprising fact: soulmate

instincts does not exist!

the only thing that a soul

bond does is connect two

souls and two bodies

with each other,

and nothing more!

: yayyy they're friends now!! also thank u for beta reading once again