《NIGHT SONGS TO APHRODITE》6
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"Don't you think it's unfair, hyung?" Jeongguk asks Namjoon a few nights later.
His words echo quietly inside the RKIVE--Namjoon's studio inside the HYBE Building. His hyung doesn't falter in his writing, too engrossed in the process of projecting his words to paper but he acknowledges him.
"What is?" He asks, scribbling a sentence onto the corner of his writing notebook.
Jeongguk plays with his pencil and taps it against the leather chair in a random rhythm. "This whole soulmate system."
"Care to elaborate?"
He stops and purses his lips. "It's just, look, you've got your whole life planned ahead of you. Everything is literally predestined. It's all according to your fate. As soon as you are born to this world, your soulmate is already decided. Every event, every moment, all of it leads to you meeting your other half."
Namjoon hums in agreement. "You don't have a choice."
"Exactly. They don't give you one," Jeongguk says in frustration, leaning back against his chair with a groan. "This makes me wonder. What if... you're in love with somebody else? What if you already gave your heart to someone that isn't your soulmate?"
Now this causes Namjoon to drop his pen. "Are you possibly insinuating that you're in love with someone that isn't your soulmate?"
The younger snorts. "Please, no. I was just making a scenario." Love is not in Jeongguk's vocabulary. It's something he tries to avoid as much as possible. He's not good with feelings and doesn't know how to handle them, which resulted to his failed relationships.
Casual relationships are better, in his opinion. They're just sex after all. There's no need to get to know one person, go on several dates with them, woo them with compliments and whatnot just to get into their pants. In this setting, you just talk it out, come to an agreement, and then have sex. Pleasure in exchange for pleasure. No more, no less. It's easier this way.
His hyung chuckles quietly and apologizes. "It is unfair to have your whole life planned out ahead of time."
"It's fucked up, isn't it?" He voices out as he stares at the ceiling. "Being forced to be with someone like that. Your own feelings aren't even considered at all."
Namjoon is quiet for a moment. Jeongguk thinks he's back to writing lyrics, but when he doesn't hear the familiar sound of his pen writing on the paper, he looks back down to see him frowning.
He purposely hits the older's knee. "What are you thinking of?"
"There's this line that Shakespeare once said. The course of true love never did run smooth," he quotes in both English and Korean. "Not all soulmates end up together. You may part ways and cut off all contact, or you may not develop a relationship but remain friends. Although it's looked down by society, it's inevitable. It sounds profane, off-tradition, but it's the truth."
The younger pop star only nods.
He sighs. "Listen, Gguk, having a soulmate doesn't necessarily mean that you should fall in love with that certain person. This is what most people don't realize--it's what you don't realize." Namjoon gives him a pointed look. "I do know that it seems like we're just being obliged by our biology, but we do actually have a choice."
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A choice. Huh. "And that is?"
"There are different kinds of love in the world, Gguk-ah. We have agape, eros, then philia, and storge--"
"I'm sorry, can you speak in Korean, please?"
Instead of being interrupted, Namjoon chuckles and leans forward. "What I'm saying is, you can either love your soulmate romantically or platonically. You don't have to get married or whatever it is that society expects you to do. You may not like the idea..."
Suddenly, his thoughts drift towards a certain rockstar.
"...but to experience a soulmate kind of love, whether as a partner or as a friend, will help you find a way to your soul. It'll help you feel whole," he clarifies with a small smile. "Your body will always crave the presence of your twin flame, but in the end, it's all up to you to decide what kind of love you want to give them. Whether you want them to spend the rest of your lifetime with you as a lover or as a friend, it's your decision."
The next question blurts out of his mouth instinctively. "What if I don't want them at all?"
The leader smiles knowingly. "Like I said, we make our own choices. The pain--real, internal pain--people experience whenever they lose their kindred soul is unfortunate, but in the end, they manage to pick themselves up again. It's hard, but I trust that you will, too."
Jeongguk lets the words hang for a while. It's quiet inside the studio, except for the soft lofi beat that he doesn't know Namjoon had played while they were talking.
Eventually, he forces himself out of the momentary haze, knowing that if he gets too deep within his thoughts, he'd lose his current concentration.
"You seem to be an expert in this soulmate shit, hyung," he teases with a lighter tone. "Tell me, are you off the market now?"
Namjoon snorts and flicks Jeongguk's left knee. "Actually, I'm married."
He chokes on air. "What?!"
Several beats pass by until Namjoon's face breaks out into a huge grin. "Nah, I'm just messing with you. I've got no time for marriage and all those love life stuff. Maybe someday though, who knows? Life will lead me to whatever path the Gods have chosen for me."
Jeongguk rolls his eyes at the statement. "You speak like an old man. Jesus."
His hyung throws the pencil at him jokingly before proceeding back to the song writing.
"There are different kinds of love, Gguk," Namjoon repeats once more moments later, softer this time. "Different kinds of love with different intensities, but it's love nonetheless."
The younger registers a light vibration from his pocket, but he brushes it off and focuses on the melodies he's creating.
It's love nonetheless.
im 🤤like 👍🏻hey 😉wassup😋
hello👋🏻seen 👀yo 👆🏻pretty 💥
ass 🍑soon 🍇as you 👆🏻came🥣
in🌯 the 🥚door🚪
i just wanna chill got a sack
for us to roll
married to the money introduced
her to my stove
showed her how to whip it now
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she remix it for low
7:38PM
:
jesus
i thought it was smth important
my phone was vibrating like crazy
8:49PM
she my trap queen let
her hit the bando
we be counting up watch
how far them bands go
we just set a goal
talking matching lambos
8:50PM
:
do you have nothing else
to do
8:51PM
got 56 a gram 5 a hundred
grams though
man i swear i love her how
she work that damn pole
hit the strip club we be
letting bands go
🍆🤺🤺🤺👅💦💦
8:51PM
:
okay seriously this is
annoying
what do you want
8:52PM
you
💦💦👅👅👅👅👅
8:53PM
:
im too tired go
bother someone else
8:54PM
NO WAIT
JEON
8:54PM
:
what?
8:55PM
JEON
CUM BACK
8:55PM
:
...
8:56PM
oops
i meant
come back
haha unless?????
🍆😮👅
8:57PM
:
im going to block you
8:59PM
NO WAIT I HAVE A QUESTION
9:00PM
:
ill answer and then
go to sleep
make it fast
9:02PM
ok ok
so
i went out a while ago
and i happened to see u
down there
9:03PM
:
huh
down where
9:03PM
DOWN ON DEEZ NUTS
9:03PM
hey
9:06PM
are u still there?
9:06PM
why aren't u replying
9:09PM
hi
9:15PM
jeon??????
9:20PM
Apartments in Seongdong-gu always have the best view, especially when you're in one of the highest floors of the Seoul Forest Trimage.
Jeongguk stands behind a paneled glass window that overlooks the Han River, brows furrowed in concentration as he tries to ignore the small ache in his chest. It's been more than several hours since he last saw Lalisa--they had a short meeting at a convenience store that lasted for fifteen minutes--and he instantly went to his friends with benefit's apartment to lose some tension.
Which, yet again, another wrong move because of the pain that's slowly spreading throughout his system.
"What are you brooding for?" comes a voice from right behind him, and Jeongguk doesn't need to know that it's her. "Your soulmate again?"
He takes his hands out of his pockets and crosses them over his chest. "Maybe. Maybe not."
"Come on. Calm your fat ass down, you idiot," Hwayoung says with a groan. If Jeongguk were to turn around and look at her, he'd see her slumping over the kitchen counter in frustration. "Just take my suggestion into consideration. It's not like you're going to sacrifice yourself."
"Your suggestion scares me."
Hwayoung snorts. "I just told you to be friends with her, where's the scary part in that?"
"Becoming friends."
"That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard."
He doesn't know what to reply to that.
He hears her sigh and the sound of running water follows. "All jokes aside, she's still your soulmate, Gguk. I've told you this, and I'll continue to remind you time and time again: she's your other half. No matter how much you avoid her, nothing is going to change that."
She's saying the truth, but somehow Jeongguk has a hard time letting it sink in.
Hwayoung continues, "The least you can do is to make a truce with her and stop whatever this... vendetta that you have against her."
The idol finally turns around to see her munching on a toast and dressed in one of her sleeping robes. The small timer embedded in her skin peeks out at the edges, and he faintly sees the numbers before Hwayoung shifts again.
The first time he met Hwayoung was more than a year ago. He faintly remembers their initial meeting in an award show after party, her being one of the daughters of an executive. It wasn't really planned, but the next thing he knew, they were in a bar somewhere in Gangnam, making out and doing God knows what.
The friends with benefits agreement was formed that night, and Hwayoung, so far, has fulfilled her role beautifully.
"I already compromised first. She should be the one to do that," he argues otherwise, though he's well aware how childish he sounds just by that statement.
She sighs and pulls out one of the island chairs. "I wish you could hear yourself right now."
"I'm not deaf."
Whereas Hwayoung is his sex partner (as she likes to call it), she's also his confidant. She knows everything that he lets her know, including his current soulmate dilemma. And while he hoped for her to take his side, she had the guts to take on Lisa's even if she doesn't know the woman that much.
It's unfair as hell.
"...you had the audacity to come here after meeting her and I think it's ridiculous--"
"Yeah, yeah, okay, fine. I'll meet her tonight," he finally relents, although some part in him is actually craving to see the rockstar again. It's just a soulmate thing, he reasons with himself. It's not like he totally wants to see her, that would be unrealistic.
Hwayoung claps her hands. "Hallelujah! Now go text her so she'd know," she urges and takes a huge bite out of an apple. "And this time, please be nice."
He ignores the reference and takes out his phone. "Whatever. I'll try."
:
hey
want to hang out tonight
8:21AM
!
♡ it is possible for you to have
two or more soulmates!
polyamory is inevitable,
although it is rare,
but it is widely accepted.
* * *
: SO there's the explanation for the soulmate system!! i wanted to highlight it since not everybody seems to know that soulmates isn't always endgame.
also it's fairly obvious but it doesn't counts as cheating if you're in love w other people when u alr have ur soulmate. i mean, yeah, you're soul-bonded, but unless you've established a relationship w each other, then that counts as cheating. if you haven't, well, nothing's wrong w it.
like what namjoon said, your body will still crave for your soulmate, but it's entirely up to you if what kind of love you'll give to them. :))
(+++ Namjoon's last line is a quote from a yoonmin fic i read this morning by miinjiminie on twt!! it's v fitting so i added it in)
next update is on july 12th!
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