***Lutz' POV***

I realize how fucked up I am, now. I comprehend the level of damage I created, now. If only life had that beautiful remote from Click. I would give anything to redo the last three years.

I literally shattered the man I love. I physically feel sick from my actions. I can only hope that Remington and Talon can somehow forgive me. I will spend the rest of my life regretting the broken bridges I have created.

Talon was my best fucking friend. Seriously. He was a dream. Talon held me when my pet hamster died and I cried like a snotty nosed child.

We spent weekends at one another's homes as more brothers than friends. We were joined at the hip.

Somewhere around my twelfth birthday, I realized I had a major crush on my best friend, Talon Fucking Williams.

His smile took my breath. His giggle flooded my body in warmth. His hugs made me feel like I was floating.

That day my mom came home and spilled Talon's secret, I got excited. Talon was within reach. He was mine for the taking.

I never told him how I felt. I waited to see if he would tell me he felt the same. That was asinine. People can't read minds.

Tell that to my 14 year old idiotic self.

So, now we are here.

My best friend hates me. One of my other friends thinks I'm a jackass, which I am. The other is disgusted by me, not that I care.

I care about Talon. I care about my Alpha. I care about my pack.

I will never spend another second harming any of those people. I will instead work on me. Somewhere out there, I have a mate. If he knew me now, he would reject me. I would deserve it.

I slowly get out of my bed to do my first training of the day. I get dressed and make my way to formation. My heart is so heavy, my limbs are weighed down by guilt.

I work thru the exercises with slow movements. My mind races with words that need to be said and need to be heard. I focus on those words as I run in my wolf form.

My wolf, Damon, he chastises me the same as always. Your wolf is your conscience to a point. He told me not to harm Talon. I let my hurt outweigh my senses. I was an asshole.

After training, I take a shower and dress in my normal clothes. My shirt is tight and feels suffocating. Generally, I would stand in the mirror and gawk at myself. I would give myself a pep talk about how awesome I am. I would lie to myself.

What kind of person can't even see the truth in themselves?

A bad one.

I long to be good enough to say the word mate. I wish to be worthy of my Alpha and Luna. I strive to be the best friend I once was.

With these thoughts, I walk slowly to the pack house.

I told my mom and dad, last night, of all my sins. I confessed my love of Talon. I revealed my plans for today.

They yelled. They sighed. They spoke harshly.

Not because I'm gay, that didn't have any influence. They accept me for me. They gave me something I kept from the one I love, support.

They are disappointed in me because I hurt Talon. They should be. I am disappointed in myself.

I open the door to the pack house and I drop my head at the scent of my future Luna that saturates my senses.

I sit at the table, in my place, and calm myself. I prepare for the open confession I will make. I will bare my flaws before my pack because they deserve to hear my pathetic excuse. It effected every single one of them.

"Alpha Remington." I start.

"Lutz." Remington greats me cordially.

"May I have permission to address this table?" I request.

"Yes." Remington hands me the floor without question. Wow. This is the man I hurt. Goddess, I'm a coward.

"Three years ago, I started a vicious cycle that has cut my best friend to his very core. I abused him, I ridiculed him and I demeaned him. I treated him like the scum beneath my feet. He didn't deserve it." I continue.

Silence fills the air.

I stand up and walk over to Talon after mind linking Remington to hear me out. He agreed with hesitance.

I drop to my knee and bow my head as I take Talon's hand in both of my own. I stare directly into the most innocent blue eyes to exist.

The pack stands in the chairs to see what the hell is going on.

"Talon Williams, my best friend, my brother and my Luna. I apologize from the bottom of my broken heart. I have damaged you with my fists, my words and my hate. I had no right to tear you down. I am sorry that I broke our friendship. I regret that I put you thru mortal hell. I wish I could reverse the last three years. You did not deserve it. You were my best friend. You were my partner in legal crime. You were my ride or die. I compromised our relationship because I felt hurt. I fell in love with you and lashed out when I found out that you liked boys. Because I longed for that affection to be directed at me. I was wrong. I will never speak another negative word towards you. You are absolutely, astonishingly and superbly perfect. Your body was hand crafted by the goddess, for Remington. Your heart was shaped by the goddess herself. Your mind is the most peaceful place to encounter, your voice like a song of praise to the people blessed to hear it. I will never lay my hand on you to do anything that is meant for harm. I will never disrespect you again. I realize that trust is earned. I realize that forgiveness is a gift. I ask you to let me build a new bridge." I close my eyes and bare my neck to my Luna.

I wait a moment before I stand and walk to Remington.

I take in a much needed breath before I begin the next round of necessary apologies.

"Alpha Remington. I am sorry. I hurt your mate. I continue to hurt the love of your life. The scars I have caused may be healed to the naked eye. But you, more than anyone, knows the deep lesions I have left to fester in the soul of your beloved. I am so fucking sorry. I will do whatever you deem necessary to correct what I can." I bare my neck to my future Alpha.

Then I turn to the parents of the boy I love. I look at them with absolute shame. These two have been there for me as much as my own parents.

"Mr. and Mrs. Williams. I betrayed your trust. I took the son that you found so much joy in raising, I destroyed him. I am deeply and truly sorry. I can't change the past. I can't live there either. I only ask that you recognize true regret when you see it. I will never forgive myself for breaking Talon. He is a blessing that I took for granted. I am so very sorry for what you have endured because of me." I turned to my pack.

"Silver Moon. I deeply regret my actions. I have taken a gift from each of you. I hope one day Talon realizes the magnificent person he is. I pray to the goddess that he recovers and stops abusing himself. I did that enough. I pray that he looks in the mirror and sees past the hateful words I physically beat into him. I pray that he rises above the damage and becomes who he was meant to be. Our Luna is other worldly. He is a blessing that should be revered by the gods themselves. He is perfect in every way." I addressed my family of pack mates.

Lastly. I bore my heart to Talon.

"Talon. Do not measure your worth by those who do not deserve to hold the scales. Instead, measure your value by the hands that love you unconditionally, irrevocably and with absolute adoration. Let your self worth be weighed by those of your mate. No one will ever truly see you like the one who was created to complete you. Let Remington be your guide. He loves you. He is the lucky one who gets to call you his." I finish my apologies and take my seat for breakfast.

I don't feel lighter. The grief and burden still press upon me. However, a small part of me feels better knowing that Talon heard words of adoration come from my vile lips.

I eat slowly as silence filters the still air. Small whispers filter thru the dining room. I ignore them. If they were meant for me, they can be brought to me directly.

Once I stand, I go and put my plate away. I make my move towards the door. I have work to do. My punishment, that is not near enough, calls out to me.

My heart freezes as I feel a small, frail hand clasp my own. I choke back a sob at the feeling of that starved hand. I turn and I am engulfed in a hug.

I fucking sob like a baby. My voice breaks and awful, gut wrenching cries claw their way from my body. I embrace my emaciated best friend and whisper I'm sorry until my throat is raw.

"I forgive you. I want to rebuild what we had. I forgive you." Talon whispers.

His words prove what a complete piece of shit I really am.

"I truly don't deserve it." I croak out.

"No, you don't. But, that is why I am forgiving you. Because I am your Luna. It is my job to set an example." Talon whispers as I fall to my knees and clutch his body into my own.

There is no sexual tension in my body. I respect the relationship the Goddess has blessed us with.

When what feels like hours pass, I let Talon wipe away my tears. He clutches my hand and walks me back to Remington. I wait patiently for whatever Talon is about to say.

"I needed this, Remi. I wanted this. I will get better. I am asking you to allow me to have my best friend back." Talon addresses his mate.

I stand in awe. This man. Goddess bless. What a fucking gem.

Remington pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs loudly.

"I know my love. I would do anything for you. I would sacrifice my life for you. If this is what you need, I will give this to you." Remington glares at me.

"But, if you so much as make him stub his toe, I will fucking rip your throat out with my bare hands." Remington smiles at me.

I smile widely. "I would expect nothing less."

"Go get busy with your sentence. Meet back with us when you are done. My Luna needs his best friend." Remington orders.

"Yes sir, Alpha." I promise.

Now, I feel lighter. Now, I am grinning like a cherub before their god. Now, I finally feel peace.

I walk out thru the doors of the pack house and head to the William's home. This day I choose to do a fantastic job on their landscaping. I plant small flowers, I mow, I pull weeds and I even make small repairs on things that have been neglected.

For once, I find joy in doing for others. But, these people aren't just anyone. They are the parents of my best friend. Their love and kindness throughout all of my years is what shaped the wolf that forgives me for being a complete dumpster fire.