"We have a trip booked the week after your birthday," mom says when she enters my room.

"With the Medero's?"

"Yes. And no Leo. It's gonna be so nice and warm."

"Why no Leo?"

"Well, Hannalore was telling me he actually wants too. Which was a huge shock. But they told him he can't go unless he doesn't do a whole bunch of things, I don't know they gave him a list. So yeah there's no way he's going."

I frown.

"Anyway. Breakfast is made. Mila came by already to take care of the horses so you don't have to worry about that. I'm off to work," mom says. "Do not be late for school."

"I won't," I say.

She nods her head and leaves my room. A bit later I can hear her engine from her car in the driveway.

I put on my uniform and go downstairs to eat breakfast. Keanu calls me and we chat about boring things. Just school and whatever gossip.

"Apparently Julian and Talia hooked up at the halloween party last week."

"Who told you that?"

"Julia!"

She mutters I'm talking but I don't pay attention. I just mindlessly think and realize Julia is a mix of the names Julian and Talia.

"I'm going to ask her today. Oh my god. Like imagine if that really did happen? Could you imagine Talia with Julian. Next it'd just be Aleks and Julia."

I put my dishes away and head to the door. "Aleks is with Liv."

"Who?"

"Olivia. Leo's friend."

"Oh. The blonde girl that's right. Ugh I don't like her. She'll cheat on him in no time and they'll be done."

I walk out to my car.

"I don't know," I say as I hook my phone up to my car. "Aleks has never really been a sappy kind of guy but he really seems to like her."

"He's a fuck boy and she's a slut, it won't last. They're attractive people dating because they're attractive." I flinch at her choice of words.

"Arguably that's what we were when we started dating."

"Yes but we weren't raised downtown. We have our futures set out. She's a gold digger."

Sometimes I get so exhausted hearing my mom judge others then going to talk to Keanu only to listen to more of it.

"Anyway, your parents tell you about the trip?"

"Yeah. Leo was complaining all night for not going. I'm so surprised. Why the hell does he want to go so bad? It's just Miami, nothing exciting. Bedsides, he hates us all."

"Doesn't he have a list of things he has to do?"

"Yeah but he's not going to. I was already shocked to hear he wanted to come but there's no way in hell he's going to be a good child for a few months just to go."

I sigh. A week in Miami with Leo would be the best. He'd find a way to sneak out just to go swim in the ocean.

A week with Keanu is a week of complaining, talking about drama, her flirting and her talking about celeb news.

Keanu and I chat the whole rest of the way till I pick her up and we drive to school. I didn't save enough time to hangout with friends so I go straight to class.

For once I really don't pay attention. I keep getting distracted imagining Leo coming on the trip. It's still months away though.

I'll be eighteen. I'll be an adult.

I've been distracted a lot lately to be honest. I still replay what happened last weekend. As long as I'm going on this trip, I can't let anything happen between Keanu and I, but I can't stand to do to Leo what I did last time.

"Andrew," the professor calls.

"Sorry Miss."

The phone rules here are extremely strict. I'm kind of surprised she didn't take my phone.

Mrs. Lazic finishes the lesson and assigns a project. Group work... fun.

"Who were you texting?" Aleks asks pulling up a chair to my desk.

"Leo."

"I thought Liv said you didn't talk to him anymore?"

"No it's just... never mind it's nothing."

"Oh someone got in trouble," Julian says.

Even when he's not with me I'm getting in trouble because of him.

"Barely." I roll my eyes.

"Anyway, partners?" Julian asks.

"Yeah," Aleks pulls out his Mac and opens it. "I'll create a doc and share it with you guys."

Julian pulls up a chair. We all pull out our computers and spend the period working and chatting.

"I'm super excited for the trip," Keanu says to me as we sit down on the grass.

"Me too." I smile thinking of Leo coming.

"Ah it'll be warm again. We'll spend all day on the beach and a day at Disney or more who knows."

"Yeah." Leo would want to run around down town areas because that's just Leo. Graffiti a wall to 'leave his mark'.

"It's real nice our families are close," Keanu says. Today it's just us sat under the tree out on the field. It's Keanu's favourite spot.

She's quiet for a bit while we take out our lunches and enjoy the last warm day of the year with a small breeze.

"Andrew?"

"Yeah?"

"Ever think we'll date past high school?"

"Why?"

"I don't know," she says coyly. "It started a year ago with us just texting but now our families are so close and we do everything together."

I'm going to be close to this family one way or another. Jesus christ. I would try to just cut them both out before they get hurt but it's too late for that. I'm either going to break Keanu's heart... or Leo's.

Why the fuck do people care about me this is frustrating.

"I'm not sure," I admit.

"But surely you do. We have our lives planned out."

Leo made me realize how much I hate that. My entire life has been set up by my parents and I have to follow their path. I feel like Rachel from Friends. I like not knowing what'll happen. I don't want to know I'm already with someone I'll spend my life with. If I am then that's fine but I don't want to know, I would rather figure it out.

"I bet things will be fine," I smile lightly knowing I'm about to make a lie. "I just don't want us making promises we don't know if we can keep."

She nods her head. "This is about Mia isn't it?"

Not this again.

"Keanu, if we have to go over you not trusting me one more time then this certainly won't last."

"Okay. You're right." She smiles.

I'm awful. I can't believe I'm doing this to her, and Leo.

I don't know what to do. So I'm just doing nothing, and in the process I'm going screw things up between these siblings more then what's already been done.

"Speaking of Mia... do you still talk to my brother and all them?"

I shrug. "Yeah."

"Oh. Are you all still friends."

"I really only talk to Leo."

"Can you please talk to him about Stella. You two are weirdly close and I feel like you would know what those two are up to."

"I've told you a million times, there's nothing."

"Then either you don't know or you're covering for him because there is someone. He smiles when texting and I hear him on the phone all the time laughing his ass off. And a bit ago he was upset and really snarky at me and in the garage a lot but lately he's been in the house a little more chatty." She just rambles in, not really talking to me anymore. "He seems a little different."

I smile.

"Do you think he could like Mia. Oh gosh could he like Gabe?"

I start laughing.

"No. He's not like that with any of them."

Keanu runs her hands through her hair before leaning back on the tree and sighing. "As much as I hate the prick, I'm glad he's got someone. It's hard to make sure he's safe when he keeps me at such a distance." She looks up to me. "Sorry I'm rambling on. I just worry."

"It's okay Kea."

"I just hope they take care of him and don't get him killed. Or break his heart. Good god, that boy is dramatic and melancholy enough as it is," she huffs out a laugh.

I sit thinking about the dramatic irony of this whole conversation to distract myself from the utter guilt. I still have months till we graduate. I can't drag this on that long.