"WAH YUH MEAN SEH UNO CYAN FIND HIM?!" I screamed at the top of my lungs over the phone at what's left of the crew of men Alessandro took with him. My heart started racing, beads of sweat formed on my forehead. My fingers started to tingle and soon sweat came out of them, my lungs felt like they are collapsing and I can feel my lips quivering.

"Grace, what's wrong?" Sarah ran into the room with wide eyes. As soon as I saw her I dropped the phone and dropped to my knees. "Grace! Snap out of it,"

"Grace. I-I, W-we can find him. There was an explosion and a lot of smoke and then gunshots and now they're both gone," Tarzan spoke so fast I can only make out. Can't find him. Gunshots. Both gone.

The phone call played over and over again in my head until I couldn't take it anymore. I screamed. I screamed louder than I've ever screamed in my life. My Alessandro. The absolute love of my life. Oh my God. What am I gonna do? I need him. He completed my life. He helped make me whole again. I can't. I just know he's out there, I just know it. He has to be or else I can't do this.

"Please don't sink into depression our kids need you. Tell them about me," Alessandro whispered to me.

Soon everyone surrounded me in the room, I guess I've been screaming this entire time without realizing it. Renee kneeled in front of me.

"What's wrong?!" She yelled and I started sobbing.

"He's dead," I sobbed. "He's dead,"

It felt as if no one took a breath in the room after that. No one moved, no one blinked, nothing. Renee, Shay, Sarah, Trey all stared at me with wide eyes. Renee didn't take long to pull me into the tightest hold I've ever received from her.

"I'm so sorry," She began to rock me. "I'm so sorry," Tears from her face started to fall onto my back.

He expected me to be strong but how can I do that? He was my better half, I can't move without him. I can't breathe right now. I stopped crying to try and breathe but it wasn't working; this tight grip Renee has on me isn't helping either. I pushed her off of me and ran past everyone. The sound of cartoons in the distant room made it even harder. I have to get out of here. I have to.

I reached the front door handle before I felt the wind get knocked out of me. He's really gone?

"Mmm," I groaned as I opened my eyes. The stars shined into the room and the tiny snores from next to me gave me comfort. I don't think there's anything that can fix my heart right now or this pulsing headache I have.

My love. I started to cry silently to make sure Rico stays asleep. I have to get myself together but I don't know how. I can't even think about him without a panic attack coming on. I can't even look at my daughter without seeing his face.

Pick yourself up Grace. You have these kids to raise and like he said. Make sure they know him, and I can't do that if I'm moping around. I quickly pulled myself together and hopped of the bed. I grabbed my phone then headed to the bathroom.

The time on my phone read. Wow, I've been unconscious for hours. I unlocked my phone and the first thing I see is a picture of what used to be my family. The kids and their parents. Now they only have one.

Positive thoughts, Grace.

I turned the shower on and as I waited for it to heat up I couldn't help but look at myself in the mirror. My eyes big, red and puffy from the crying. I now sported bags under my eyes and my face just looks...pale. Lifeless.

Soon the steam fogged up the glass and I forced myself into the shower. The scorching hot water burned my skin but I still stood under the water and somehow it gave me comfort. I leaned my head back and let the water run through my knotted hair, I then grabbed my shampoo and conditioner to wash and detangle my hair.

I can just hear my grandmother now, "Yuh really a wash your hair a night, yuh ago catch cold,". She was a firm believer in shower caps, especially for night baths. Or else, you'd get sick.

After a long and very hot shower, I stepped out and towel dried my hair before drying my body off. I lathered myself and hair in coconut oil then parted my hair into four big sections and two strand twisted it into chiney bumps or Bantu knots. I tried to wipe the mirror so I could see myself but it wasn't working at all so I called it a night, putting on my satin bonnet before shutting off the bathroom lights.

Rummaging through the luggage for night clothes must've woken Rico. I tried to keep the room dark so I can't even see the luggage properly.

"Mommy are you okay?" He rubbed his eyes. I can see his silhouette from the moonlight shining into the room. His little feet hopped onto the floor and walked over to me.

"Yes, mommy is fine. I just was looking for PJ's," I said to him as he sat on my lap, unbeknownst to him that I'm in my birthday suit. I quickly pulled out a shirt from one of the luggage's and was hit with strong cologne smell. Dro. This has to be his luggage he put on the plane.

Tears formed in my eyes and I'm so glad that it's dark in here so Rico can't see my tears. He told me that we're taken care of if anything happened to him but he packed a bag anyways. He expected to come back home to me. To us.

"Mommy, are you crying?" Rico asked.

"No go back to bed, my hair is just wet," I lied and ushered him over to the bed. Slipping on Dro's tshirt, I climbed into bed with Rico and let his scent take me over.

I can't believe he's gone. He can't be gone.

I sighed and did something I haven't done in a while. I got on my knees and closed my hands together. "God. I know it's been awhile and I know that I haven't been perfect. Please forgive me God. Please. Please look over Alessandro wherever he may be, please don't let him die. Please," I started sobbing.

Come back to me Alessandro.