The car ride back to New York was probably the longest one I've ever endured, between breast feeding and Rico wanting to be helpful or annoying me for attention. It would've been worse if it weren't for this RV Dro rented, luckily we're only have an half an hour left.

Of course, I'm alone not alone on this ride back. As much as I told him I'd be okay, he insisted that he tag along to help me with the kids and for my safety. Alessa's fussing made me look down to see her searching for my nipple.

"She can eat that's for sure," Dro chuckled. He has him arms around my shoulder, looking down at us with a smile. I simply nodded at him. "You're beautiful, Grace,"

A small smile appeared on my face but quickly went away. I look the same. Almost the exact same. I feel like I lost my glow. My smile isn't the same even when I smile. I'm just, I don't know.

The past six weeks have been crazy for my mental health. Alessa being born early took a toll on me but she's as healthy as she could possibly be with no complications. She was released from the hospital three weeks after she was born after staying in the NICU. Dro wouldn't let us leave for New York until she was 6 weeks old. Alessa is just perfect though. She is very good at latching and feeding. My milk production hasn't gone down at all and I'm grateful for it. But she isn't the problem.

Her father is.

I just can not shake those nights. The night the crazy side piece shot at me and induced my labor. I can't believe I was so unprepared like that. Dro would never leave me unarmed like that unless he knew I was safe. Did he really not think she would come around? But then she did and she almost killed me and he allowed her to fucking live.

I'm glad he did though. About a two weeks ago he brought me to a warehouse outside of the city of Chicago.

"Why're we here?" I asked him as his car pulled up to a abandoned warehouse. The lights around the place were knocked out, bob wire surrounding the building. He didn't say anything and he's been trying to kiss my ass for two weeks now. All day he's been silent.

We got out of the car and he snaked his hands to my butt as we walked. I would've pushed him away but it felt good to have him hold me, his cologne familiar in my nose. We got into the building and I immediately saw a shadow on the right side of the room in a chair. We got closer to the shadow and the crazy bitch Nina sat there.

"Are you serious?" I asked him. Her eyes sad and lips quivering. The fuck is going on here?

"It's the only way to make it right," Alessandro looked at me and then handed me his gun. I've always loved his gun, the details on it and the silencer made it look bad ass. "You or anyone else will never get the chance to disrespect my wife or even try to harm her," His deep voice echoed. He looked at Nina.

"Grace, I did sleep with her, but not while we were together or not while I knew you were pregnant," He turned to me. "When I left I did sleep with her but weeks before I even came back we stopped messing around, and then I came home to find out you were pregnant. She means nothing to me. I spared her life because I wanted to give you the opportunity that I'm doing now,"

Chills ran through my body. I nodded at him. Breathe. Her eyes snapped at me as I raised the gun an took the safety off.

I hovered my finger over the trigger. "I actually won't regret this one," I said to her and fired three shots into her chest, her body went limp and blood poured out like a fountain. As soon as I did it my chest caved. I felt like I couldn't breathe, I gave Dro his gun back and ran back out the door.

I couldn't stop the vomit that came out of me. I looked at the sun setting and sighed. It had to be done. My breasts began tingling indicating that I need to pump soon.

"Let's go," Dro said in a soft voice. "It's been two hours since you fed her, you need to pump,"

Is he keeping track? I smiled at him and nodded. Breastfeeding is definitely helping me get back to my pre pregnancy body. I'm not that far from it to be honest, I'm a lot thicker thanks to her.

"Babe," Dro called out to me. "I think she's done," I looked down to she milk dripping out of my breasts into her cheek rolling down her neck.

I laughed. "I'm sorry mamas," I put my breast back in my bra and cleaned her up.

"I'll burp her," He says as he takes her out of my arms. "Farfallina

Bella e bianca

vola vola

mai si stanca

gira qua

e gira la

poi si resta sopra un fiore"

He continued singing in Italian to her and eventually she burped and fell asleep on his chest. "I love you Hopey," He smiled and smoothed her hair down.

"I love you Grace," His eyes soft and caring. I just nodded at him. I love him more than he'll ever know, I just can't tell him right now. "Do you think your going through postpartum depression?"

"Fuck you Dro," I said to him before getting up.

"Sit down," His voice boomed forcing me to stop in my tracks and sit back down. "I know I fucked up but you're not going to keep disrespecting me, Grace. You said we'd talk when we got back to New York. So let's talk,"

"In the private of our home," I replied back. We literally have a driver driving us right now.

"If he talks. He dies and so does his son that he's putting through private school," Dro didn't even blink.

"I just need time! This was all so much. Even before the bitch showed up, we were not okay! We just weren't and I thought getting away from home with you would help but I hate you now. She wasn't supposed to be here yet. I know she's perfectly healthy but that day fucks with me. I didn't get the experience with my daughter like I wanted to. I need space," I snapped, I couldn't stop myself from talking I just kept going.

"Okay," His face turned bright red. He didn't say anything else for the rest of the ride, not that we were much farther away now anyways.

*

*

*

"I can't believe you guys did this," I smiled as my sister and Shay sat in the nursery room they finished while I was away.

"It's the least we could do," Shay smiled as she held Lorenzo. Lorenzo and Alessa are only two and a half months apart now.

"She's so beautiful," Renee squealed while holding her niece. "She looks like her daddy, sorry,"

I shrugged. "I know. Nothing I can do both of my kids look like their father," My stomach turned as I thought about Andre. I took his life. I took Nina's life.

"Are you okay? You kind of went pale," Shay asked me. She set Lorenzo down in his swing that she brought with her. "Talk to us,"

Alessandro walked in the doorway. "Can I talk to you really quickly?" I nodded and followed him down the hall.

His lips crashed into mine then he pulled me in by my waist, I don't know if it was instinct but I kissed him back. My arms smacked around his neck as I allowed him to slip his tongue in my mouth. He lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his torso. My back now against the wall as we kissed. I've missed this so much.

He pulled away, "I'll always be here, Grace. I'll give you your space but I'm only a phone call away. I'll see Alessa every morning and every night until you tell me I can stay with you again. I want you and only you," he set me down on the floor and we were no longer at eye level.

"Okay," I couldn't look in his eyes any longer.

"I love you guys," He whispered to me before kissing my forehead and then leaving. I couldn't leave this spot for some reason. My body was stuck.

"Grace," Renee galled from the room. "Yuh baby spit up," She sang out which made me laugh and head back to her room.

"Hi mama," I cooed at my babygirl. She's absolutely beautiful, I can't believe I have another child, a little girl.

"He's not staying?" Shay asked with a raised brow.

I shook my head. "He'll be back tonight to help me with her over night and he'll leave in the morning,"

"What happened?" Renee asked me. "Y'all were fine, now you come home with an early baby and you guys aren't speaking?"

"I killed his ex fling," I blurted out. Their eyes popped open wide. "Only because she tried to kill me first,"

"While you were pregnant?" Renee exclaimed. I nodded and she shrugged. "I would've killed her too. Fuck her,"

Yeah, that's how I feel but it just feels different when you actually take a life. She didn't mean anything to me but she was someone's family.

"I'm glad you guys are all ok though," Shay smiled at me and I returned it.

Are we okay?