I'd finished making all the quesadillas and I wrapped them in tinfoil to trap the heat in so they would be warm whenever they get back. There was enough to feed an army. It's been a while but I can't say I've ever really sat around and waited for them to get back. So I occupied myself with cleaning up all the dirty dishes from making lunch. Then I continued with straightening everything in the day room.

I busy myself because I can't think of the way Chase is going to be completely blindsided. Or maybe he won't. Ever since he asked me out, he's consistently been asking me if I have feelings for Dean. Maybe it's because he already knows.

I've never been anything but honest with him. I told him I would try my best. I've tried, but it's not the same.

With each passing day, I feel more tired than the day before doing the same exact things. I know I'm dying; I'm reminded every time I get winded walking up a flight of stairs and every time someone comments on how cold my hands are. I'm on the downward slope. The three months I was told would be a blessing. At least my birthday is next week. I'll make it to twenty-four.

Chase is the safe, obvious choice. But when I'm with Dean, he makes me feel alive. I want to feel alive.

Sam gave me the best advice he could have without knowing the entire situation; I want to feel everything that Dean can make me feel. It's worth it.

Grayson had given me the next few days off because he and Tessa had flown to Italy for the weekend again. He said something about taking a break before telling her about the shady shit her dad was into.

It was a relief to have everything taken care of. To not have to worry about how everything is going to go. I made all the hard decisions for everyone already.

It's another fifteen minutes before I hear the garage doors open in the apparatus floors. My heart falls at the guilt of seeing Chase again but then it's uplifted with the comfort that Dean will be back too.

Except the somber attitude of everyone throws me off. I catch Linc's arm, noting the soot on his face. They were going to a car accident. Why is there soot on his face. "What happened?"

I know Linc's probably really angry at me right now because of the way I'm handling all this, but there's no anger on his face. Just sadness. "He didn't call you?"

"No? Dean said to wait here until he came back. I've been here waiting for you to get back."

He hesitates and that scares me, "It was his family. The car accident. It was Maddox and Hayes. Hayes is fine, but Maddox is in rough shape. Dean...he wasn't okay. Lacey, it was bad."

I cover my mouth with my hands because it's horrible. "Where are they?"

Jonah walks in next and his face falls when he sees me still here. "The ambulance took them to City Health Hospital. It's only ten minutes away."

"I'll take her," Chase volunteers and the clench of guilt hits me hard.

"I can-" Linc tries to offer and Chase shakes his head quickly.

"No, I'll do it. Lace grab your coat."

I follow along silently trying to think of how bad is bad. Hayes is fine but Maddox? God Dean. Oh my gosh. Cassidy.

I wait until I'm buckled into the front seat of Chase's truck before I call her. She's spent pretty much everyday since the break up at the bar picking up extra shifts.

"Hey, I thought you were at the fire station?"

I sigh, trying to figure out if I should even be telling her this. They broke up. But I've also heard her crying most nights when she thinks I'm asleep. Crying makes Boo nervous so it keeps me awake.

"I am-I was. Look Cassidy, I don't know you well enough to be able to make this decision for you but Maddox and Hayes were in an accident. It's not good. Linc said that Hayes was fine, but I don't know how Maddox is."

"Where are they?" She asks immediately and I recall what Jonah said.

"City Health Hospital." I feel guilty for thinking it's not the hospital my doctor is at so there's no chance I'll be recognized at least.

She hangs up without responding and I look out the window. This is a disaster. The rest of the car ride is spent in silence. I have nothing to say and Chase says nothing either.

Thankfully when we get there, it doesn't take long to find Dean. I jump out of Chase's truck as soon as it slows to a stop. "Thank you," I blurt out before running into the front doors. He's in the waiting room of the emergency room, still wearing all of his turnout gear. God this man is going to be the death of me with the turmoil he keeps putting me through.

Dean spots me before I get to him and I pretty much throw myself at him. I hug him tightly, refusing to let go because I know that's what he needs. He needs to know I'm here for him.

His arms close around me tightly and I forget that we're standing in the middle of a waiting room. "He's going to be okay," I say softly, feeling him shake in my arms.

"You don't know that Lacey. You don't know. No one knows. He didn't regain consciousness on the scene. This could go either way."

I pull back and put both my hands on his face, forcing him to look me in the eyes to hear what I'm saying. "Maddox is going to be fine. You can't think like that. He's going to be okay."

His eyes slowly shut and Dean drops his head into the crook of my neck. "I hope you're right."

I hope I am too.

Over Dean's shoulder, I see Chase standing there watching us. His eyes meet mine and he smiles sadly before walking away. I wish I could tell him all the apologies I have for him, but I can't apologize for having feelings for Dean.

I warned him. I warned Chase I would try, but I never made any promises to him.

I won't apologize for Dean.

*********

The rest of the night was quite a whirlwind. The doctors determined that Maddox had a brain bleed and they'd already performed surgery to correct it. Now they're just waiting for him to wake up.

Hayes had fractured a few of his ribs and needed stitches on his forehead, but was otherwise okay. Sephine was a wreck until the nurse finally took her back to see him and he's since been discharged. Cassidy has been silent, sitting in a chair in the private room we're waiting in. Perks of the Benson name I would guess. However I can see the cons of the name. There's been countless articles already posted about Hayes and Maddox being brought here.

Grayson and Tessa are on an early flight back from Italy. Cassidy hasn't said anything to anyone since getting here. She did have her friend Jupiter stop by the apartment to let Boo out and feed him before he destroyed the apartment, which was nice because I didn't really want to leave Dean's side. I would have, but I'm glad I didn't need to.

Dean's finally sitting down. He spent the entire time Maddox was in surgery pacing, and I can't help but think of what Dean said the first time I met everyone in this room.

"My family has a track record of making things incredibly difficult on themselves. Intentional or not, we have kind of a bad track record."

He wasn't kidding. They do have a bad track record.

Sephine is leaning against Hayes sleeping and I'm kind of jealous. This much excitement is exhausting. I'm struggling to keep my eyes open, but it's okay. I want to be here for Dean, physically and mentally. I can sleep later.

I'm tired but I can't imagine how Dean is feeling. He and Maddox haven't been on speaking terms and I'm sure that's part of the reason he's stressed.

We're all just twiddling our thumbs waiting for the doctor to come out and say anything new. Based on my own experience, no news is good news.

My phone rings in my lap and I see Ruth's name flash on the screen. I hover over the decline button because this isn't the time or the place to take her call. I don't know.

"You should take it. She'll just keep calling if you don't answer." Dean says softly, and I look at him in surprise.

"Are you sure?"

He nods and presses his lips to my cheek, "Answer the phone Lace. Nothing new is going to happen from the time you leave to the time you get back."

I smile and hit answer before it stops ringing on it's own and I exit the room quickly. The last thing I want to do is wake up Sephine. She worked herself into quite a tizzy earlier.

"Hello?"

"Hey stranger. I haven't heard from you in a few days."

I go to run my hands through my hair, forgetting that I'm wearing a hat. "I'm sorry. It's been kind of hectic here."

"When is your life not hectic? Have you talked to Dean yet or is he still ignoring you?" She asks and I laugh shortly in response.

"Oh I talked to him."

Ruth snorts, "And?"

I feel like such a teenager right now. "And kissing him is better than I ever thought it would be."

"I thought you were mad at him?"

"I was. I'm not anymore. Can I actually call you back later? Maddox and Hayes were in an accident and we're all at the hospital now."

I'm banking on the hope that she'll understand. Which she does. "Of course. I'll keep them in my prayers. Don't worry about me Lace. Go take care of your man."

I can't help but smile at the thought of Dean being mine. "You're the best. I love you Ruth."

"I love you more Lace." She says before hanging up.

I try to take a deep breath, but I struggle with it more than usual. I move to sit down in one of the chairs, but I get really lightheaded and end up lowering myself to the floor.

It's just been a long day and I'll be fine. I just need to sit for a second, I tell myself. Just breathe as much as you can, you'll get it later.

"Lacey?" Someone calls out and I look up guessing it's probably Cassidy, but I realize it's Paige.

"Paige? What are you doing here?" I ask, using the wall to pull myself up.

She winces, "I'm still his emergency contact. I was out of town for a teaching conference and I just got back. I came straight here."

I nod slowly, feeling my head grow clearer but I still hold onto the wall incase I need to sit again. "Gotcha. Well, um, everyone is in there if you want to go in." I say, motioning to the room they're all in.

Paige looks at the room and then back at me, "Are you okay?"

This is weird. This is Dean's ex and we're having a very odd conversation.

"I'm fine."

I head back in the room to find Cassidy still sitting in the same chair she was in when I left a few minutes ago. Hayes is now asleep with Sephine, and Dean is closing his eyes and leaning back in the chair he's been camped out in for the last hour.

I have a feeling that the peacefulness won't last long with Paige being here now.

Cassidy notices her first and I see the change on her face. "Get out," She says quietly, and I take my previous spot next to Dean.

Shit is about to hit the fan.

Paige crosses her arms over her chest, "I'm his emergency contact." She defends weakly, and at the sound of her voice, Dean's eyes snap open.

"You're his what?" He asks, but his question is ignored.

Cassidy stares at Paige with nothing but anger on her face. "You are a horrible horrible person. I've done nothing but try to be your friend since you got back because you needed people. I told myself I was crazy and that you didn't see him that way anymore, but you-you're a horrible person."

Sephine and Hayes are now starting to wake up and Dean starts to get up, but I put my hand on his knee to keep him from getting up. Cassidy needs this more than he knows. I don't know how many more times I can refill the ice cream stash in our freezer. She's only been living with me for a week and we've gone through three tubs between the two of us.

"Cass I didn't know he proposed. I-I thought you broke up and-"

"And you couldn't wait to jump back into bed with him. It shouldn't have mattered Paige. You should have told him no and I-I should have told him the truth. You're not the only one to blame here, but don't come here and act like you deserve to be here because you're Maddox's emergency contact."

It's hard to hear, but I know she needs to say it. This tiny spitball is yelling at Paige who has several inches of height on her. If we weren't in a hospital and it weren't the situation it was, it'd almost be comical.

Paige looks over at Dean helplessly like she needs his help. Now I really want to laugh. "I'm sorry Cassidy."

Before anything else can be said, there's a knock on the door and Maddox's doctor walks in. "We reduced the level of sedation and Mr. Benson is starting to wake up if anyone would like to see him."

"Thank you," Sephine says speaking up, and the doctor leaves just as quickly as he came. "Cass if you want to go first, you can."

She shakes her head, "I don't know why I'm here. Maddox and I aren't together anymore. His emergency contact is here which trumps everyone in this room apparently. I'm going home, you heard the doctor, he's fine."

"Don't go," Dean says and a few tears slip down Cassidy's cheeks.

"I'll see you all later. Have a good night."