I was intently chopping all the bell peppers at the kitchen counter when I hear a loud uproar out in the day room. I set my knife down to see Lacey wearing a giant coat and a pink hat that matches the flushed tone in her face.

She didn't say she was stopping by today?

My heart squeezes painfully seeing the way Chase lights up after seeing her. He kisses her on the cheek and it takes everything in me to stay where I am. She hasn't talked to him yet.

Everyone here loves her. Jonah told me that as long as she brought cookies again that Lacey was always welcome. Vince likes that she puts me in my place.

Linc gives me a weird look because he heard everything that happened last Saturday and I shake my head, silently telling him not to say anything. I got quite the earful the next day after the girl he'd planned on screwing had left after all the fighting that went on between Lacey and me. And then Chase kisses her on the cheek. This is great.

I pour the peppers into the sauce pan to sauté before continuing to prepare the chicken. I decided last shift that I was going to make quesadillas today because they're easy enough to prepare.

I can't help but glance up to see what they're all doing and I catch Lacey staring at me. She gives me a smile that causes my heart to skip a beat. I return it with a small one that no one else notices. Stolen kisses and secret smiles. That's what we have right now. Just until she talks to Chase. Then I can stop acting like her best friend because I'm so over that.

After seeing Paige with Maddox, it became pretty clear to me that the reason I couldn't commit to Paige was Lacey. I can blame it on Maddox all I want before I met Lacey, but after? I couldn't get her out of my head.

I'd fully intended on just being her friend, that's all I thought I had time for. When I invited her to that dinner at Hayes and Sephine's, I had no idea that this is where we'd be three months later. I don't even know what came over me and caused me to invite her. Lacey was just another damsel in distress and I've never invited any others to family dinner.

Being around Lacey makes everything in my life make sense. She makes sense to me. I don't know how to explain it.

Avoiding her last week was hell. Literal hell when I wanted to do nothing more than talk to her. Not that talking was the only thing I had in mind, but I missed Lacey.

She is stubborn and it drives me nuts that she sees everything so simply. Everything is black and white to her and I'd like to try and see it that way too. Maybe just maybe she can show me how to do that.

I shake my head, trying to focus on this chicken before I cut one of my own fingers off. Stupid chicken.

"Why did the chicken cross the road?" Lacey asks with amusement clear in her voice. Her parka is still wrapped tightly around her and I'm surprised because it's not even that cold outside for this time of the year.

"I have no idea."

She cracks a smile, "I don't know either. I just wanted to try and make you laugh."

It does cause me to laugh because it's exactly the kind of thing she would do. "You're something else."

"What can I say? I'm a sucker for a man in uniform."

"Lace, I hate to break it to you, but I'm not wearing a uniform right now," I reply, focusing on cubing the chicken. I've got to get this done since we could quite literally be called out at any second.

"We can fix that," She says cheekily.

And then I'm very aware of the fact that Chase is watching us from across the room from where he's talking to Jonah. I lower my voice and avoid looking at her when I ask my next question. "When are you going to talk to him?"

"After you guys get off shift. I asked him if he wanted to go for a drink."

I nod, more so to myself so I can reassure myself that after this shift, everything will be fine. It's going to be awkward around Chase for a few weeks I'm sure, but once he gets over it, I think he'll be happy for us.

Lacey moves to stand on my other side with a knife in her hand to help me prepare lunch for the crew. I look at her skeptically, "Did you wash your hands?"

Her jaw drops, "Yes, I just washed them while you were thinking in lala land. Where'd you go?"

I resist the urge to smile at Lacey the way I want to smile at her. "Later. We'll talk later." She seems to get my drift and her cheeks redden. "Oh god Lace, get your mind out of the gutter. That's not what I was getting at."

"My head isn't in the gutter." She stammers and I can't help but laugh.

Oh it totally was. "Whatever you say. We need to hurry up and get these done before there's a hoard of hungry men. They're quite scary."

"Oh sure. They look so scary."

Her hat is pulled almost too low on her forehead that it's blocking her eyebrows, giving Lacey quite the odd look. "I didn't think it was that cold outside," I comment, referring to the parka she came in wearing and the winter accessories.

"I get cold easily."

And then the overhead intercom system sounds the notification that we will have to wait another hour at the earliest to eat the food I've been preparing. "Truck 47, Ambulance 58, car accident at Pa-" I tune it out noticing the disappointment on Lacey's face, but I do my best to keep my demeanor together as Chase comes up behind her to kiss her shortly.

"That's not very sanitary, she has chicken on her hands." I try to keep my tone light as I move away to wash my hands quickly before grabbing my gear off the hook by the door leading to the apparatus floor. When I look back at Lacey who is staring at me with a guilty look, I feel bad. She shouldn't feel guilty. This isn't on her. It's on me.

I make a quick decision to wait for everyone else to leave the room to grab their gear and head her direction as I pull my turnout coat up. "Now I'm in a uniform," I tease, briefly deciding that it's worth kissing Lacey before I go.

I can't imagine what this is like for her but we just have to get through today. I pull her dorky hat up a little higher on her head to show more of her face causing Lacey to smile.

Except when I turn to leave, Linc is standing there shaking his head at me. "I didn't say anything earlier, but Lacey was right the other night. You are an asshole."

"Linc." I call out, but I know I'm just wasting time. I look back at Lacey who is just as lost as I am. "Don't go anywhere. We'll talk when I get back okay?"

She nods and I take off grabbing my helmet off the table and taking my place in the back of the truck, averting the gaze of everyone. I shouldn't have kissed her there. But goddammit, I couldn't help it.

Because I didn't listen to where the accident was located, I have no idea how long it's going take to get there. Hopefully only a few minutes because the tension in this truck is suffocating.

Chase is oblivious with a smile on his face. My stomach is twisted into knots because I know this is all going to blow up in our faces. Nothing can be simple. I'm not even sure Lacey could turn this into a black and white situation. Everything I touch becomes clouded with grey.

A minute later we pull up to the scene to find a crumpled black Range Rover on it's side and a delivery truck smoking from the engine. There's a lot of people standing around the scene and Jonah immediately jumps out of the truck. "Dispatch said we have one victim unconscious, another trapped in the same car. The drivers of both cars are a little bruised but fine. Linc, I want you on crowd control with Chase. Vince, Barbie, work on assessing the scene and work quickly to get those people out."

I grab the halligen from one of the storage compartments and follow Jonah towards the Range Rover. It looks familiar and I can't figure out why. Not until we get up close and I hear a familiar voice. "Don't worry about me, get him out first!"

We're not supposed to run on scenes, but when do I follow rules?

I break into a run, and quickly climb around to the front of the car, trying to see inside. "Hayes?" I ask, praying to every God listening that it isn't him.

There's coughing and a weak response, "Dean? Is that you?"

After that it's a blur. I kick in the windshield and am in the car before I can think of what to do next. I don't even know what I did with the halligen. Hayes is hanging in his seat by his seatbelt which I'm guessing had jammed in the accident. Maddox is in the seat next to him slumped forward and then I hear a strangled sound.

I stare at him in horror because my brother is the unconscious victim. This is my family in the car. There's yelling outside that distracts my attention and I look at Hayes in shock. "Stay there, I have to-I have to get some more tools and we'll get you out of here," I promise and he smiles weakly at me. That's when I notice the blood dripping across his forehead, no doubt from the glass that shattered when the truck hit them.

"I don't think I'm going anywhere." He jokes, and I climb out quickly where Jonah immediately lays into me.

"What the hell are you thinking rushing into a scene without letting me assess first! You just put everyone in that car at risk!" He says, shoving me backwards. "I don't care what your last name is, but if you ever pull that shit again, you're gone."

"I don't care if you fire me, my family is in that car!" I yell back for once and Jonah's face pales. "My brother is unconscious in the backseat, and there's a jammed seatbelt holding my cousin in. Help them now and yell at me later," I insist, and he looks past me at the car.

"Switch with Chase. You're on crowd control," He says firmly and I open my mouth to argue, but I know he's right. I can't help them because I'm not thinking rationally.

Screw the fucking rules. I've already broken half a dozen of them since we arrived on scene. I jog over to where Chase is setting up cones to block traffic, "We're switching. Go help them, please."

Chase is confused, but he understands there's some kind of urgency so he moves quickly. I shouldn't even be on the scene right now.

I push the thought of Maddox being hurt to the deepest corner of my mind. I think of Lacey instead of how one of the last things I told my brother was that we weren't brothers anymore.

I think of how Lacey has always been there for me, even when I'm being a stupid asshole. I think of how shy she was when she came to the firehouse, wobbling on her crutches to talk to me. How incredible she is.

What would she say right now?

I can only assume that she would tell me to calm down and to let them do their jobs. That everything will be okay. It has to be okay. The last thing I told Maddox can't be that I never wanted to see him again.

Despite all the shit we've been through the past few years. He's still my brother.

Lacey would tell me that family doesn't ever leave, even when you don't want them. I'd tell her that she's right if she were here.

I really wish she was here.