Fuck. When I told Chase to go for it, a part of me didn't think he would. I really didn't think he would. But he actually fucking did it.

I have no reason to be upset, but I am. Lacey looked...incredible tonight. She looked incredible for him and that hurt. She is an enigma, my enigma. Not Chase's.

Except she's not mine.

I hit the steering wheel hard, feeling my blind rage take over me like it does every time I lose my temper. I have no sane reason to be upset. We're friends.

I think I'm going insane.

But the idea of her being with someone else makes me sick to my stomach.

And the worst part is I think I'm with Paige. I've been blowing her off all week or maybe she's been blowing me off. I think the last time I was with her, Paige said something about having an art show coming up. We are supposed to hangout tomorrow morning. She wants to try again to find me an outlet to prevent me from lashing out at people.

Paige knows where I stand, how confused and uncertain I am about everything going on in my life right now. The only stability I have is Lacey. I can't lose her.

I slam my car door, flinching as I hear the sound. I'm tempted to drink myself into oblivion tonight which honestly sounds like a pretty damn good idea.

I just didn't account to find a sobbing Cassidy on the couch. All thoughts of Lacey go out the window when I see her clutch the pillow to her chest to try and calm herself down. I've only seen Cassidy cry a few times. Not after her ex hit her, not after she found out her mom had passed seven months ago, not after she was arrested and the media crucified her.

The only times I've seen Cass cry is when it's related to Maddox. I immediately sit next to her and pull her into my arms. "Cass what's wrong?" I say softly and she curls her fingers into my shirt to hold on. "What happened?"

Everything was fine when I saw them together Monday. They were good, better than good actually. Cassidy and Maddox have been great.

"He's going to h-ha-" She starts to get out, confirming my suspicion that it was Maddox's fault my best friend has been reduced to a puddle of tears.

"What did my brother do?"

She sits up and stares at me with wide eyes. "He proposed."

Now I'm confused. I'm really extremely confused. Cassidy is upset that Maddox proposed to her? Oh my fucking god I'll never understand women. I need to stop befriending them because I am so confused.

"Isn't that a good thing?"

More tears fall from her red eyes and I brush her blonde hair behind her ear. "No," She says hoarsely and I don't understand. What is going on?

I stare at her trying to gauge what could have happened. Did he get the wrong ring? I knew the ring was important, but I didn't think a proposal could do this to anyone. "Cassidy I'm going to be frank with you; I need you to use your words so I can figure out how to fix this."

"H-He-Maddox. He wants kids." She says stronger and I try to understand how that's a bad thing. "I can't." Cassidy's voice falls to a barely audible whisper.

"You don't want kids?"

A quick shake from her head and more tears answer me. "I can't have kids Dean. I found out this morning. My-My periods have been irregular and I thought I was pregnant. I went to the doctor-" She breaks down into heart wrenching sobs and I mostly understand.

"We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to talk about it. If you're not ready," I say holding my best friend tightly as she falls apart all over again.

"They told me I had an extremely low egg count. The chances of us conceiving a biological child are nearly impossible," She finishes and this is all starting to make more sense. So Cassidy is upset because Maddox proposed and Maddox wants kids, but Cassidy can't have kids.

"Not being able to have biological kids doesn't mean he's going to love you any less. Cass, my idiotic brother loves you more than anything else in the world. He proposed. He's in love with you."

And then the real reason behind her tears is revealed. "I told him no. And then I ran away like the coward I am. I can't give him what he wants."

Cassidy isn't a coward. She got scared, but I'd never call her a coward. Meanwhile, I practically fit the definition.

I stroke her hair trying to find the right words to say, but the truth is that sometimes it's better to say nothing at all.

*********

I barely slept. I'm not sure if it's because I couldn't stop thinking about Chase and Lacey together or because I was worried about Cassidy. She was crying in her sleep last night and it was a horrible sound to hear.

I'm exhausted, but I can't blow off my plans with Paige again. I already cancelled on her Wednesday for lunch. Cassidy was curled up in the blankets on my bed and I felt bad leaving.

After seeing Paige I'll probably stop by their place and check in on him. If this is the wreck she is then I can't imagine how he's doing.

Linc is drinking coffee in the kitchen when I walk out of my room and he looks more awake than I would expect after the late shift he had last night. "Is Lacey okay?"

I look at him confused, "Lacey? She's not here?"

Now it's his turn to look confused, "Then who was crying all night?"

"Cass is here; Maddox and her broke up last night," I explain quickly grabbing my keys. "If she wakes up before I'm back, tell her I went to run an errand."

Linc and Cassidy might not get along the best, but I know he'll keep an eye on her.

"Why would they break up?" He asks shocked by my answer, "Wait, where are you going?"

"I'll tell you later, I'm hoping that I can talk some sense into Maddox to fix it. An errand."

I leave without saying another word because talking means more questions that I'm not ready to answer yet. I feel like my head is all over the place. Paige is...I don't know what Paige is to me. I care about her and I like spending time with her. That's all I know at the current moment. Except I also care for Lacey and I like spending time with her too. I'm confused.

It's not fair of me to be upset about Lacey going out with Chase. I know that now.

Life isn't fair.

I run my hands over my face trying to decide what I'm going to do. What is there even to do? I told Chase to ask Lacey out. I guess I didn't take into account that she could say yes. It's not fair for me to expect her to say no when I'm doing whatever I'm doing with Paige.

And Cass? What am I even going to say to Maddox? I can see how much he loves her; I can't tell him what she told me last night. It's the only explanation for why she would say no and I can't even begin to understand how getting that information can make someone feel. Especially when I know how great of a mother she would be.

This all fucking sucks.

There's no other way to put it.

When I knock on Paige's door, I feel like my head is going to explode. I need to talk to Paige because she always makes everything seem so insignificant.

Except when she opens the door, her cheeks are flushed and she's wearing a shirt that isn't hers and it certainly isn't mine. Then Paige's face pales, "Dean? What are you doing here?"

"We had plans," I say bluntly, taking her disheveled appearance into account.

"Pidge?"

My stomach plummets and I look at her in shock. I'd recognize Maddox's voice anywhere. He's the only one that ever called her Pidge besides Charlie. Last time I checked, Charlie didn't have a deep voice.

She glances behind her and back at me helplessly. She isn't helpless. She made this decision. "I can't believe you."

"Dean-"

I push the door open, revealing a shirtless Maddox and the smile immediately drops off his face. "And you? I don't even know what to say to you." The anger inside me is threatening to overflow. My hands are shaking, itching for a fight.

"You don't know what you're talking about," Maddox says firmly, still acting like he's on a fucking pedestal compared to me.

"I don't? So you didn't propose to Cassidy last night and then run back to Paige with your tail between your legs?"

Paige looks shocked by what I said and I start to laugh. Oh my god he didn't tell her that he proposed to Cass. "Maddox what is he talking about?" Her voice shakes and the Paige next to me isn't the Paige I've been-

Now Maddox is trapped.

"She said no. It's over. Ca-She said no."

I laugh again stepping closer because he's so oblivious. "Did you ever consider she had a reason for saying no? Or are you just looking for an excuse to justify fucking Paige."

Maddox's face morphs into one of anger, "Why the fuck do you care so much? Cassidy left me. She left so as far as I'm concerned it's none of your business who I fuck."

And then my fists are connecting with his face, surprising him and me. "I spent all night taking care of her. While you were here with her."

Unfortunately, Maddox recovers quickly and manages to get a good one in to my cheekbone. "You've always wanted what was mine. Now you can."

Maddox is bigger than me, but I'm faster than he is, getting in a hit to his nose before slipping away. His hands fly to his face as he swears loudly, "Motherfucker."

Paige pulls me back, "Stop. You're going to hurt him," She pleads and I turn to her, hearing the emotion behind her words.

"That's kind of the point," I spit out at her, pulling my arm out of her strong grip. "You're pathetic. He runs to you and you take him back in a split second. Did you think I wouldn't find out?"

She struggles to find the right words because there's nothing Paige can say that will make what they did last night okay.

Nothing.

"We're done," I say, wiping my face void of emotion. I turn to Maddox who has now pieced everything together, "You stay the fuck away from Cassidy. She doesn't need you in her life if you can give up on her so easily."

I leave the two of them standing in the mess they made feeling sick to my stomach. They fucking deserve each other.