I hadn't planned on coming to this at all. In fact, I'd completely forgotten that it was this weekend. My mom really did have everything all planned out when she sent Ruth here.

Ruth's sitting in the chair next to the examination table that I have the pleasure of sitting on. "How long does it usually take for the doctor to get here?"

I shrug, twisting my hands in my lap. "It depends. Some days I'm in and out in thirty minutes at the most, but other times it can take the entire afternoon."

She hums in response, pulling her phone out; I have no doubt that she's informing my mom that she actually got me to go to an appointment. In all the years that Ruth and I have been best friends, I can count on one hand the amount of times she's come to doctors appointments with me. Today.

There's a knock on the door, and my doctor steps in. "Hi Lacey, it's good to see you again. I see on my chart that you missed your last two appointments."

"Um yes, I know. I'm sorry about that, I've been really busy at work." My excuse is a lame one and I know that by the frown on his face and on Ruth's.

"I'm glad you finally came in. How have you been feeling? Anymore dizzy spells?"

I shrug, "I've been fine. I had a few but they don't happen very often. I have been having some problems with my hands though. I dropped a coffee at work on Friday because it went numb."

He writes this down on my chart before looking up at me again, "Anything else?"

"I've had shortness of breath and I've been tired, but I'm also working long hours. I don't think it's anything to be worried about." I refuse to meet Ruth's eyes after I admit all this. Part of the reason I haven't said anything is because it does worry me.

Dr. Odell sets the chart down and gives me a look. "Those are all symptoms to be concerned about. I know you know better than to ignore them. I need to listen to your heart for a moment."

The head of the stethoscope is cool against my skin and I try to keep my breathing normal, but I can feel my stress level rising. I shouldn't have skipped those appointments. I've just been afraid.

He stays silent the entire time and then smiles at me. Smiles are never good. Smiles mean more tests. It means things are getting worse.

"I'd like to run some more tests just to be sure that everything in your heart is working correctly. I'll have the nurse come by in a few minutes to take you for them. Excuse me, I'll be back." Dr. Odell says after I nod to acknowledge I heard what he said.

The room is silent after he leaves and I press my tongue to the roof of my mouth to keep any tears from making their great escape. This isn't good. I shouldn't have ignored everything. My god I'm such an idiot.

Everything after that is a blur. Ruth is silent until we leave the hospital after the tests were run and we pretend that we didn't hear what Dr. Odell said after he looked at the tests. It didn't happen as far as I'm concerned. I feel numb.

"Lacey, I-" She starts to say as we walk down the sidewalk. I don't want to sit in a taxi right now. I need to think.

"No. Just don't."

Ruth drops it after that and I focus on the sidewalk in front of us. Keep putting one foot in front of the other.

She waits until we're back in my shoebox apartment before saying anything else. "So what do you want to do tonight?"

"You're the one visiting; what do you want to do?"

Ruth smiles at me, but I can see the turmoil in her eyes. I choose to ignore it. "Why don't we see what Dean is up to? I'd like to get to know him better if you're feeling up to it."

I'd much rather stay in bed, but that's not an option. Today wasn't unexpected; it's been inevitable.

"Sure, I'll call him now and see what he's up to." I smile faintly at her, somewhat glad she's willing to make an effort with the best friend I have here. I step away, pulling up his contact and hitting call.

"Hey, what's up?"

I twirl a strand of hair around my finger, "Well I never heard from you about how it went with Cassidy yesterday so I wanted to check in. It's also Ruth's last night in town and she wants to know what you're up to tonight?"

"I'm on shift at the bar until nine if you guys want to come hang out for a bit. It's one of our slower nights so I can learn all about Lacey Edwards and her Virginia adventures." He teases and a small but genuine smile crosses my face.

"Yeah, I think that sounds like fun. Can you text me the address?"

Dean chuckles, "Sure thing chicken wing, I'll see you guys soon."

"See ya." I respond faintly, hanging up the phone. If I were ever in a mood for a drink, today would be it.

I ruffle my hair and swap out my hoodie for a t-shirt before heading back to find Ruth sitting on the couch talking on the phone. "-be back tomorrow. I might stay a little longer though if I can. I'm worried about her."

Her words stop me in my tracks and I remain hovering in the doorway of my room. I don't need anyone to worry about me. I'm fine. Perfectly content. I swear if she called my mom and told her-

"I miss you X... love you more. I gotta go though. I'll call you later."

After letting out a sigh of relief knowing that she was only talking to Xavier, I take this as my opportunity to announce my presence. "So I just got off the phone with Dean. He's pulling a shift at the bar tonight, but he said we could come join him if we were so inclined."

The smile on her face is too wide to be real, but I let it slide. "Lead the way Captain. Any more tips you want to share with me about him or will I have to ask questions about him and his family directly from him."

"I'll answer every question to the best of my ability."

*********

Dean leans against the counter staring curiously at me. Ruth ran to the jukebox to change the music or whatever. "I thought you didn't drink?"

I down the last of my vodka soda, my second of the night and I'm certainly feeling the effects of it. "I don't."

"Are you okay?" He asks slowly, trying to read me with his eyes. I hate that. Hate it with a passion.

I rub my temples tiredly, "I'm fine Dean. Me having a drink doesn't have to be a big deal." I say trying to keep my words straight. "How did it go with Cassidy?"

Dean passes me a different glass with only water. "About as well as can be expected. I apologized for my actions. Cass told me how dumb I am. Maddox apologized for forcing me to go to the charity event. We had a threesome afterwards."

"Sounds like it went great," I murmur twirling the straw.

"Oh and after that, it got really kinky."

His laughter catches my attention and I try to recall exactly what he just said. "Wait what?"

Dean's smile is bright and makes me want to smile. It's crazy how he has that effect on me. "I knew you weren't listening to me."

"I heard the part about where Cass told you how dumb you are. I wouldn't necessarily say I wasn't listening." I retort, stumbling over a few of my words.

Ruth throws herself into the stool next to me and I grab onto her arm to stabilize her which ends with both of us giggling. "So Ruth, does Lacey drink?"

"Never," She says pulling her red hair out of her face. "Do people really call you Barbie?"

Dean lets out a friendly chuckle, "Yes. Unfortunately, they do. If it were up to me they wouldn't, but it's hard to control what your friends call you." I finish the last of my drink and push it back towards Dean who raises an eyebrow at me. "Maybe you should drink a glass of water before another one."

"I think he's right Lace," Ruth says, agreeing with him.

I roll my eyes but nod my head. I probably should slow down before I end up puking. That does not sound in any kind of way fun. Dean sets a water bottle in front of me and I accept it, taking a small sip.

"What kind of dirty secrets can you tell me about Lacey?" He asks Ruth in a teasing manner.

One wicked look from Ruth makes me wish we hadn't come here. "You know what I find incredibly ironic about you being a Benson?" She sings and Dean leans forward in anticipation. I however have no idea where she's going with this. "Little Lacey used to buy the business magazines that had Hayes Benson in it to hang on her wall." I react sluggishly by trying to put my hand over her mouth, but she's already said it.

"Ruth!"

Dean tries to stop himself from laughing but it bellows out of him to the point he's doubled over. "Plea-Please tell me that you're joking," He chokes out and my cheeks are flaming red from embarrassment. I think I might just curl up and die.

"You bought them too," I try to justify my actions but there is no justifying it. I can't believe that Ruth would tell him!

Another person comes up to the bar and manages to get Dean's attention and the second he walks away, I glare at Ruth. "Why on earth would you tell him that!"

She smiles at me and shrugs, "He asked?"

"You literally could have told him anything else! Like how I believed in Santa until sixth grade, how before my first kiss I literally punched the guy because I didn't know what he was doing? Or maybe how there was that time in high school I tripped right after being crowned homecoming queen. But no. You tell Dean how I used to think his cousin was hot."

"No, you just told him that. I told him how you used to buy magazines he was in." She giggles and of course Dean is standing right there with amusement all over his face. His stupid smug face.

"This just keeps getting better and better," I groan and Dean sets another drink down in front of me. "You said I needed to finish my water first."

"I thought you might need this to recover with something stronger than that."

Ruth downs the last of her drink, "Be back in a few. Gotta pee!" She squeals, getting off of the stool before I can say anything else to her.

Dean crosses his arms and leans back against the counter, "So were you ever going to tell me you had the hots for Hayes?"

Well, since he put the drink there, it'd be a shame to not drink it. I put the straw in the back of my mouth so the drink doesn't taste quite as bad going down. But to my surprise, it tastes sweet instead of bitter. "What is this?"

"Sex on the beach. You're not going to change the conversation so easily. How long did you like Hayes?"

I look down at the fruity drink in front of me and take another long drink. Maybe if I drink enough, I can avoid answering this question. Except then Dean pulls the drink away from me, "Hey!"

"For someone who doesn't drink, you seem to be going through this one very quickly. It's meant to be sipped, not chugged." He warns and I roll my eyes.

"I don't need a babysitter."

Dean gives me a look, "I didn't say that, I only said it's meant to be sipped."

"We were fifteen. I had a crush on Hayes and we did get the business magazines. Obviously teenage me never expected to meet him and his wife. I don't drink either." I clarify feeling like a child explaining all of this.

"If it makes you feel better, I could have been described as a terror wreaking havoc through my boarding school. They couldn't expel me because of who my dad is so I got away with a lot more than I should have." He admits running a hand through his hair. His hair looks really soft. I wonder what it's like to play with it.

I smile easily at him, "You went to boarding school?"

"Yeah, it was a fun time but I don't talk to many people from back then. They're all business execs, big time athletes, or they've fallen completely off the radar like me. Imagine my dad's surprise when I told him I wanted nothing to do with the family company after all the money he spent on my education."

I pause trying to sift through my muddled thoughts to come up with the right words to say, "You haven't fallen off the radar." Dean looks at me, trying to read me once again like earlier. I duck my head and take another drink of what's apparently a sex on the beach. Why does he keep doing that?

When I get the nerve to look back up at him, he's disappeared. A quick glance around tells me that he went to check on a table. I look around for Ruth because I think this is the longest bathroom break she's ever taken. I try to slide off the stool, but once I'm standing, a wave of dizziness crashes over me. I'm once again reduced to the gracefulness of a baby deer trying to stand on wobbly legs. I grasp the counter to hold myself up until I stop seeing black spots on my vision.

This is what I get for mixing alcohol with medication. Lacey this is why you don't drink. I decide against looking for her and sit back on the stool to wait for Dean to come back.