Why on earth did I let Lacey convince me that this would be a good idea. I tap the counter as I wait for my next refill. The bowtie around my neck feels like it is constricting me and my suit is a little tight on my shoulders. I've bulked up a little the past few months so I'm not surprised that it doesn't fit perfectly anymore.

"This was an absolutely terrible idea," I say quietly to myself as I've done my best to stay hidden in the shadows.

I don't even know why I agreed to come. The free liquor just isn't worth it. However earlier, the little voice in the back of my head reminded me that I don't have a reason not to come other than not wanting to. The voice sounded a lot like Lacey.

God, what am I doing? I just met this girl and I really like spending time with her. Lacey has this way of simplifying everything to fit the way she lives her life and it's so refreshing.

These events used to be normal for me and now I can't wait to leave.

"Hey stranger," Cassidy says taking a seat next to me. Her gown fits her perfectly and she really looks like she belongs here. At least one of us does.

I smile briefly at her, "What are you doing over here? Shouldn't you be playing the role of the dutiful girlfriend while Maddox talks to people?"

Cassidy's eyes are extra bright tonight as the makeup she's wearing has them pop. "When do I ever do what I'm supposed to do? Besides, they all keep asking when we're going to get engaged and I'm so sick of being asked that question," She scrunches up her nose in disgust. "I looked for you in the corners first since I know that's where you like to hide. My next guess was the bar."

I chuckle softly, " I guess I'm a creature of habit. I don't blame you. It's frustrating to get asked the same question over and over."

The bartender refills my glass of bourbon and Cassidy orders her own glass of champagne. I take a long drink from it causing Cassidy to give me a questioning look. "Everything okay?"

"I'm just doing my best to get through the night," I respond tightly. It's not her fault I'm here; if anything it's Hayes and Maddox's fault. Not that I can really blame them though. Everyone is here. My parents, Hayes's, and anyone who has a blood relation to the name Benson or a stake in the company either through shares or partnerships. As much as I hate to admit it, Maddox was right. Me not being here wouldn't be good for appearances. Stupid fucking appearances.

"Maddox told me that you weren't too thrilled to come, but I'm really glad you did. I am surprised you didn't bring Lacey though. I like her." Cassidy says, trying to bring her up nonchalantly.

I give her a weird look, "Why would I bring her? I'm sure she enjoys having a private life and I'm not going to be the one to mess that up for Lacey."

Cass's drink appears and she takes her own sip at the same time I take mine. "I don't know Dean. I really don't know, but I think you might be having a bit more fun if you had brought her."

"I already have a corner buddy," I say holding up my glass and she rolls her eyes.

"She's good for you even if you're too stubborn to realize it."

"Lacey's just a friend."

"I must be imagining the way I thought I saw you look at her. My mistake," Cassidy says shrugging.

I don't look at Lacey a certain way. She's a friend and that's what I really need right now. "Do you remember a few minutes ago when you said that you hated having people ask you the same question over and over again? Lacey is only a friend," I insist before mumbling the next part under my breath, "My other ones don't spend much time with me anymore."

Cassidy's jaw drops slightly, but she recovers quickly. "Do you remember how after Maddox and I broke up you told me to stop acting like a child? I think it's time you take your own advice."

"Cass wait-" I call after her, definitely grabbing the attention of some other people. To my surprise, she spins back around to face me.

"What? Are you going to apologize? Just keep throwing your pity party in the corners, I'm going to find my boyfriend."

"Maybe if you spent a little less time with him, you would understand."

And then prince Maddox comes to the rescue, "What is going on?" He asks looping his arm around Cassidy's back.

"Nothing," Cassidy says quickly, but I'd much rather get this all out in the open. Even if it's in front of all these people.

"My best friend constantly ditching me for my brother." I reply staring straight at Maddox. His eyes narrow but I'm not going to take it back.

"I think you've had a bit too much to drink," He tries to play off thanks to the ears listening around us. I frankly don't give a shit.

After scoffing, I roll my eyes. "I made my appearance, I'm leaving."

I pull off the godforsaken bowtie that has been driving me nuts all night and stuff it in my pocket as I walk past them, brushing shoulders with Maddox. I should never have come. This was quite the disaster I thought it would be except on the bright side of the scene I just caused, I don't think I'll be asked to rejoin the company anytime soon.

Thank god I thought ahead earlier and took a cab because now I don't have to worry about picking up my car tomorrow. Instead of telling the driver my address, I tell him Paige's.

She answers the door with her eyes wide because I'm sure I'm quite the sight right now. Messed up hair, undone bowtie, suit jacket in my hand.

"I'm sorry Paige. I said absolutely horrible things to you that I never should have. You are family; I just feel so messed up and confused right now. I don't know what I'm doing and I am so sorry for the way I treated you." My voice cracks with emotion, but I stay where I am because this is her call. I was a jerk and Paige didn't deserve that.

"You don't ever get to say anything like that to me again, got it?" She says softly, opening the door wider to invite me in.

"Got it."

Paige pulls me into a hug and I hold onto her tightly. I need to stop picking fights with everyone, but I feel like the only time they see me is when I lash out. I don't quite know how I feel about Paige, but I do know that it shouldn't have to be this hard.

*********

I stare at the paintbrush in my hand, "Are you sure you want my help with this? I don't want to mess it up or anything."

Her laugh is light and airy, "Yes. It's an outlet and I think you could use one for how you've been feeling. Just do whatever feels right."

She pushes the rack of paints towards me and I look at them and then the canvas to try and decide where to start. Paige has her own canvas in front of her that she's started on.

A few strokes in, I already feel like I'm doing it wrong. Correction: I thought I was doing it wrong before I even started. She makes it look so easy with her strokes. It's art.

Mine is not art. It looks like a mixture between a green blob and a snake. I'm not sure what it's supposed to be, but I know it's not supposed to look like either of those.

"You do this for fun?" I ask her shocked as I try to mix in purple, but instead it turns the spots where they collide brown. Looks like I need to go back to kindergarten where they teach you what colors mix to make what.

After Paige sees the expression on my face, her smile grows wider. "Yes! And for a living but we're not counting that right now. Stop being so tense and thinking so much. All you have to do is go with the flow. Thats when it becomes fun."

I dip my brush into a can and a terrible idea pops into my head. It's not terrible for me by any means although I'm sure the repercussions will outweigh the act. I steady my brush while she focuses on her own canvas before flicking it right across her shirt and face.

"How did I know that this is exactly where we would end up?" She asks wiping her face of the purple paint, but it just smears. "You're like a toddler that can't be trusted to eat their food without throwing it."

"Well, last time I checked, paint isn't edible."

Paige tries to give me a serious look, but instead flicks her own paint at me, getting my arm and some of my shirt. "You know what I mean."

It's good to see her like this: carefree and happy. Paige isn't who she used to be, but she's doing a lot better than she was. At least from what she's allowed me to see that's the conclusion I've come to.

My canvas however looks nothing like hers. I don't think I have a creative bone in my body after the mess of paint I end up with. Paige's looks like its been done with no effort which doesn't surprise me.

After a long period of silence where I sit back and watch her paint because I don't think this isn't my outlet at all. It is relaxing though to watch her do it. Paige turns to look at me. "You could at least clean your brushes so they aren't ruined," She says raising an eyebrow at me.

"Right, I'll do that."

The two brushes I used take only a few minutes to get all the paint out of them after I run them under hot water with soap. When I glance back at Paige, it looks like she is in deep thought focusing on her canvas. She's really in her element.

I set the brushes on a towel to let them dry and I walk back to the corner that used to be the home of Maddox's desk and is now her designated painting corner. I wrap my arms around her torso from behind and rest my head on her shoulder.

"How do you do that? Make something from nothing?" I ask, slowly feeling her relaxing into me.

"I don't know. I guess I sometimes have a feeling of what it's going to look like, but it doesn't always turn out that way. It's kind of hard to explain. I try to show how I'm feeling in my pieces and the mood of them typically shows it."

"And what does this one show?"

Paige tenses up, "It shows you Dean."

I try to keep a level tone to hear her out. She's never been anything but honest with me, "How so?"

"The red is there because you have this... anger to put it in simpler terms that you let get the best of you. It's not a bad thing and that's not what I'm saying. You tend to lash out when you're feeling cornered; trust me, I know. But the color red also commands to be seen. It won't be overlooked. That's something you said last night before you fell asleep." She says gently, clearly trying to gauge my reaction.

"And grey?"

Paige rests her hands over my arms, "Uncertainty. You have no idea who you are right now and that's something you need to figure out. I can't decide it for you and neither can anyone else. The color yellow is hope. I hope you can find peace."