"why the fuck are you ignoring me, woman?" he asked pinning me to the car seat entrapping me with his arms around me and fresh breath on the side of my face. did I like this whole arrangement? yes. will I tell him? Nuh uh.

"am I?" I asked moving forward to bite his nose. "don't you fucking dare" his voice hard, immediately stopping me. My mouth still open and eyes wide on his tone.

"you are so easy to get to" he smiled pecking my nose and my forehead bringing my head to his chest hugging me tightly still smiling. "dumb fuck" I murmured a small smile grazing my face. "you need to stay away from ryan. Getting corrupted miss. Campbell" his voice holding amusement erupting a small laugh out of me.

"shall we?" he asked taking my face in his hand. "is 'no' an option" I asked when he flattened my hair and got my beanie in place giving me back my glasses. "no darlin'." he smiled again finding my worry a funny topic.

"hmm" he asked eyeing my glasses pecking my nose. I nodded and he got my seatbelt in place and then his.

"breathe breathe breathe." he laughed biting his inner cheek to stop it further. I grumbled under my breath when he started driving to the destination. why did i even agree to this?

*

It had been 15 minutes and carwyn was taking us through some beautiful place honestly. I didn't know which part of spain it was, but it was beautiful. The structure was worth looking and it looked perfect from where I saw. "it's beautiful" I breathed in the fresh air. I smiled when the air flew past my face and my hair danced with it. "it is" I heard him say with a small just a little smile on his lips. He said sighing.

After a long long drive we finally arrived at the big building. Carwyn, took his car to the underground parking and parked swiftly. I still wonder how can someone be this sexy all the time. "you are drooling" he said once he parked the car. "coz you are sexy" I spoke, not denying even a bit. "my my, So bold!" he said pinching my cheeks. "it hurts" I complained caressing my cheeks. "dirty pig"

"What did you just say" he narrowed his eyes at me. "dirty pig" his hands got my neck in a hold and other got inside my hoodie towards my bra. "I'd like to hear it again" his voice demanding and dominating. "dirty pig" I spoke back confidently my voice wavering just a bit. Inside I was just melting and my heartbeat spiked with it.

His face broke into a smile and in a second he brought my lips to his kissing me passionately. Jeez bipolar.

"you are my favorite person, campbell" he said with now softened eyes and full grin showcasing the perfect teeth, unlike mine.

"let's go" taking my face in his hands, he stroked my cheeks with his thumbs and pecked one last time before getting out and jogging to my side opening the door for me.

Dumb founded I got out still my head in haze. Was he alright or I had gone dumb within seconds.

*

"you better breathe or I'll have to perform mouth to mouth" he said amusingly holding my hands in the elevator. "how even are you finding this amusing. Like this situation can't even come back at you since I don't have mum, and my dad's as dead as he could for me" I shook my head. How unfair!

"avha-" he said concerned. "oh shush. I'm not emotional." I smiled at him. With time, I have just been accustomed to these memories and laughing as a coping mechanism. Now when I look back, I feel like laughing and hiding my face in embarrassment. Like damn, I let all of that happen with me and cried over it. I mean I could have just protected myself from my 'dad'. "It's embarrassing how I cried over it infront of you. Oh my!" I said horrified still smiling, a laugh escaping. "No-" he got interrupted when the elevator dinged and four people stood infront of us smiling, knocking the breath out of me.

=========================

that's exactly how i am. it's so embarrassing to talk to somebody abt your emotions while looking back to that convo. like while sharing i just go on and on and on but once it happens..... my my the embarrassment is REAL.

ALSO ALSO ALSO.... how these white people think it's okay to use N-word just coz they have black friends or associate with them. NOT DIRECTED TO ALL THE WHITE PEOPLE just sum i have seen. like even for me [being non-white] it's something as simple as common sense to not use that word but alas some bitches don't get it. also there are some non-whites, non-blacks too who use it and find it normal. *smh*