I'm sorry for being gone for soo long. During that time- celebrated my birthday, talked with my cousin, and tried working on myself which is a bit working but broke down again today, STILL, I AM TRYING. Hope this one chapter suffices all that days I've missed. CHEERS!

Caroline:

Imagine having a life where you have been ridiculed for your sexuality. Imagine people pushing you away, not being there for you just because you aren't straight. Imagine your own parents and loved ones not supporting you, because they don't want to tarnish their reputation. Why? because you aren't straight!

I've always had problems with my sexuality. I never really liked boys. My parents were all too happy because I won't party late or have male friends. It was a complete bonus package for them. I was that cousin who would be bragged about every time and the other parents would want their kids to be like that particular one. The one who unintentionally spoiled things for the other poor kids. But I never asked for it. I always wanted to be a perfect daughter for them - my family. A daughter who would always make her parents smile through her dedication and hard work, guess not.

I was studying to be a fashion designer, waiting to be successful. Being 28 and struggling to bring things together after being kicked out of her family. Why? because I unlike them, was a lesbian.

It was new years eve and I had my best friend with me in my room. We were watching movies, enjoying hot chocolate and I was relishing the moment where she was lightly stroking my hair, while I had my head in her lap. Angela was my college mate and we had gotten really close over the period of time. My parents thought it was great to live with them, even if I was 18+. They wanted me to be with them and live every moment together.

Angela had been with me since day one. She'd calm me down from the pressure and emotional turmoil I often faced. She was a good friend and soon I wanted her to be more to me. She hadn't for once been a bitch. She stirred every emotion in me. Making me feel confident in my own skin and not letting me hide anymore. What else could I ask for? So when the countdown began for the new year, I knew what I had to do.

I leaned forward and she too accepted the offer, gripping my waist, she pulled me roughly to her and connected our lips. The sparks ran through my body, settling to my core. Never had I ever felt this before. This was perfect. Way more than I had thought.

Previously when I'd picture this, it would sound and feel bad, considering it was a sin, but with time it started feeling better and it would bring a red hue on my cheeks and I knew I had to do this. But the reality was way more perfect than the mental images that my brain often painted. Her lips on me felt amazing and I didn't care about anything. She was all that I needed at that moment.

But the sweet, blissful kiss was cut short when my parents barged in my room to give me hugs and sweets as the new year's tradition and they saw us. Anybody else would have seen us having our moment, but my parents saw me committing a crime and they were disgusted.

They made Angela leave. She had stood her ground and had tried taking me with her. Maybe she was a better judge of character than me, coz she had told me they'd do something hurtful to me. Maybe I was a blinded person at that point. I couldn't see how my parents had called every relative of theirs to our home and wanted them to counsel me. They wanted them to tell me that what I did was absolutely wrong and not acceptable. Maybe if I had left with her, things would have been a bit different, but I didn't. I couldn't. Not when my mum tried faking her death. Not when she said she'd die if I left. Too much of emotion at stake, making me promise Angela that I'd meet her soon. By hook or by crook, I would. But I never did.

My cousins had made fun of me. Saying they were better than me. How they would never commit a horrendous act like me and how I deserved hell. The whole day they kept on 'guiding' me about my sexuality. They said that before, as in ancient there was nothing like this. Previously every man had married a woman, there was nothing like homosexuality, it was just us being a bitch and committing a sin and trying to be 'cool'.

I had cried in front of them. Cried to let me live my own life. It was me who liked Angela and her company, but they weren't accepting it and so once they knew I wasn't gonna accept their way, they kicked me out. I had no problem finding another place. I was working and had quite a lot of money saved with me, but now I didn't want to live with them or near them. Passing a note to Angela that I'd meet her someday and I couldn't fathom the same happening to her. The people in that town would eat her alive coz of me. coz of that one 'sinful child'. I didn't want people to affect her living because of me and my family. I let Angela know that the town had a lot more things than me and my family.

I was now living far away from them and one day Brad had called me. Brad was not a good human per se. He was one reckless kid. Being my cousin and finding me in the same state as him, he had been crossing my path again and again. I had gone there for a vacation when he called me and I saw his daughter close to death shivering, surrounded by the snow in only one layered clothes. She looked pale and a few more hours later, she'd die. That fucking bitch had kicked her out and I knew that feeling all too well.

She had the same hair like him and her features matched his too much. Between the talks, he had let it slip about this one-night stand leading to a burdened child. Her.

"Sweetheart, can you hear me? I'll get you to my place soon. Please don't close your eyes" I frantically said and picked her up into the rented car. Driving to my hotel, I let them know I'd need a doctor since the hospital was miles away from the location and those blessed souls had arranged a doctor to save her life.

She woke up a whole week later. Her hands had severe burns and her body was in shock from the events. I didn't know what had happened, but I hoped Brad would face the wrath. Someone would give him back what he did to this sweet soul who was quivering in fear 24/7 and wasn't talking to anybody. Apparently, the shock was too much and she was scared shitless.

I had decided then, she'd be with me. I'll not let anything happen to her.

But I had been a bitch to her a lot. Let her work with me, but that was to let her know you don't get things easily in the world. She needs to fight. I might have scared her by saying 'I'd fire her' but no I'd never. She was my sweet soul. Throughout the whole process, I'd neglected her but that guy was there with her. For her. He was one scary man. I could remember him barging into my office and having a meeting with me to let me know my place.

I hope he keeps her safe. I hope she tells him everything that happened that day. And I hope that stupid 'Silas' too guard her and lets Brad know what he did was completely wrong.

===========================

I thought it was the right time to publish this chapter. Hope y'all liked it.

WHat do you think abt Caroline?

Honestly, I thought I'd give you something in this book since I tried playing with a kitten, fuck yeah! and -demishelby gave me the video of my book recommended on a particular TikTok. Fuck yeah again.

If any of you find Tiktok like that, send it to me, pweaseeee?

Please y'all take care, stay hydrated, eat something and please smilee.

Also, I just wanted to share that I cried, and can y'all just say something good to me? PLEASEEEEEEEE?

~LT