#TW

"How did you know about her?" I questioned the guy who had tried to threaten Avha. He didn't say anything, so I pulled up my pants a bit and sat down on the chair spreading my legs. I extended my hand and Ryan gave me the blade.

I took the blade in my hand and grabbed the dirty hand of the guy in mine. The next five minutes, screams filled the basement and I leaned back admiring my work. The blood pooling out and his screams assured me he'd speak.

I cocked my head to the side and poked my inner cheek with my tongue, questioning silently.

He smirked and continued "Andrew. Andrew Joseph" the last name made me still in my chair. I halted. For the first time in my career, I needed to get away from this place. I couldn't hear what he'd say further. I just couldn't.

The blade fell from my hand and I heard him laughing in the background when I got up and left the basement.

I jogged to my office and locked myself. All this while my hand shaking and me wheezing. My body had just halted and I couldn't process shit. I sat on the ground peeking at all the entrances of my office as if they'd barge in. I curled up further on the ground and wheezed further. My legs were shivering, but my body was still. I didn't move just like they had said. No. I couldn't or they'd just harm me further. I couldn't get hurt after all those years of me enduring it. Not again. Not anymore.

#

I heard shuffling of the door and I muffled my voice by biting down my lips. They'd know I was here. I couldn't afford it. My body already hurts from being here. No more, please.

I felt hands cradling my face and I went away further. Far from the person. I fisted my hands and tried getting away from the person.

"Caro" the soft voice brought her face to my mind. She'd never like me. I was a freak.

"Caro, it's Avha" the voice again said and I shook my head. I'm a freak.

"Baby, you are safe now. It's Avha" The person said again and I closed my eyes, whimpering. I was weak, so so much.

"Shh." I opened my eyes after a minute and saw someone sitting in front of me. Her.

Her hand extended and a small hesitant smile settled on her lips. "It's your Avha" her gentle voice washed over me and I thought what would I be if I wasn't raped? Was the phrase 'whatever happens, happens for good' right?

What was so good in being raped or assaulted? What was so good about being a rapist and sadistic? What was good to be on the enduring side?

Nothing was good. It was all pain and hurt. Agony and helplessness. Someone's enjoyment was someone's pain. What was so good about that? What was so good about being a victim? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Most of the rapes were defended by the victim's clothes, what was so good about it? A fully covered girl was getting raped, harassed, or molested somewhere, what about it? Are the clothes short or the thinking is narrow?

What about us? Boys. What about our rapes? I wasn't wearing shorts. I wasn't showing off my skin or asking for it. I was a goddamn student. I had a hoodie and jeans on. It hurt so much to see a woman and a man enjoying my screams and pain. The blood that left my body was enjoyed and filmed. What was my fault? I hadn't even pissed them and even that wasn't a reason.

Heard someone say 'enjoy' when you can't do anything. 'offer them positions'. Fucking bastards. how about sitting with us and asking how we felt? I don't want anybody to be on the receiving side. No one. but if you can't sympathize, don't shit at least.

"I I It hurts" I whimpered again and she nodded.

"I know it does, baby. What else? How can I make it right? tell me" she said softly and I gave my hand to hers. She massaged my knuckles and slowly opened my fists.

For the next few minutes, she rubbed my hands and my body relaxed further in her hold

She sat there looking at my hands and massaging them. I don't know what I did to get her in my life. She's just fucking perfect. Angel.

Her hands worked on mine and they were already bare, like hers. She removed them gloves for me. For me damnit. Picking up the bottle from the side, she opened it and gave it to me. "Drink" I nodded and gulped down the whole. Taking the tissue, she wiped the corner of my mouth. "Be careful, caro." I looked at my lap and shut up. She thinks I was annoying. She's tolerating me.

She tapped my temple and said "Stop overthinking here. I'm here for you, caro. Every time, remember? Together" I nodded and she rubbed our hands with the wipes.

"Words, baby"

"Y-yeah" she hummed in approval, making me feel good by passing that sweet smile of hers.

"Let's get you home, yeah" I nodded and she stood with me, making our way to the door.

"It's fine. I'm here. Nobody's going to do anything" she reassured and took the wipe to open the door.

Holding me closer, she took me to the elevator and pressed the button with her elbow. We went inside and kept on rubbing my knuckles with her thumbs giving me the much-needed warmth.

I looked at the car and Silas was sitting in the driver's seat. He nodded and smiled at me. The rare smile he shows.

She took me to the back seat and opened the door making me sit properly and she came from the other side. Once seated, she draped me with the blazer and I leaned my head on her shoulder and relished her warmness by closing my eyes.

Within a few minutes we reached home and now I was lying on the bed with her arms around me. She snuggled into my body from behind, making me a small spoon.

I was about to speak when she spoke up. "Don't talk if you aren't ready, caro. It's fine. I ain't pressuring you in any way." I hummed and closed my eyes feeling her lips on my neck.

I fell asleep with me in her arms.

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B-byee.

~LT