"Lilly!" Mum yelled, "there are letters here for you!"

I jumped off my bed, discarding the book I'd been reading and ran down the stairs. As soon as I saw the envelopes I knew they were from the universities I'd applied to. I grabbed them from mum's outstretched hand and turned and headed back up the stairs.

I phoned Tanya then Sheridan because we'd sworn we'd open our letters together. Sheridan wanted to be an artist, Tanya planned to become an accountant and I was hoping that I could become a teacher.

The letters seemed to burn holes into my eyes as I waited for the two of them to arrive. They were begging me to open them, tempting me with their black curvaceous writing.

I was at breaking point when the doorbell rang and raced to let Tanya and Sheridan in.

"Hey guys, come in!" I said, practically pulling them inside.

"Impatient enough?" Sheridan laughed and I had the grace to blush.

"Sorry but I really want to find out!" I was bouncing on my toes as I ushered them up the stairs to my bedroom.

"Miss Hart is hiding in here somewhere isn't she?" Tanya asked, looking around curiously.

"No, why?" I asked, confused.

"She's not hiding under the covers or in your bathroom?" Sheridan continued, joining in the search.

"No!" I yelped, suddenly catching on and hitting Tanya on the head, "God! Why would you think that?"

"Well, you were looking pretty intimate when I walked in on you a few days ago so-"

"Shut up!" I snapped, my face bright red. "Can we just open these?"

"What if she jumps out on us and-"

"Stop!" I moaned, "please!"

"But it's so fun!" Tanya laughed and I grimaced at her.

"No it's not!" I whined.

"It is!" Tanya retorted but decided to give it a rest, "let's open them then."

We sat on my bed, me ignoring the looks Sheridan and Tanya shot each other, and laid out our letters.

"Okay so... we should just go for it." I said nervously. Tanya scoffed and grabbed her first envelope and ripped the lip off. Sheridan and I quickly followed, me with rather more caution than the other two.

"I got in!" Sheridan squealed while I stared down at my own letter. A rejection letter. My stomach twisted painfully as I stared at it and, to my horror, I felt tears prick the corners of my eyes. I'd been waiting for this moment for years and I'd failed, I hadn't been accepted.

"I didn't get in." Tanya said, her voice strong and uncaring. "What about you Lilly?" She asked, and they both focused their gazes on me.

"Neither did I." I whispered, trying my hardest to copy Tanya's tone but failing miserably.

"That's okay L, they're idiots not to take you. I bet you'll get into the next one." Sheridan said reassuringly and I smiled and nodded, forcing the tears down.

"Let's open them then!" I said and reached for the second envelope.

"I got in!" Tanya squealed, her face a picture of radiant happiness. "I got in! I got in!"

"So did I." Sheridan added, her excitement rather more contained.

"I didn't." I sighed, this time no tears came to my eyes and the blow meant nothing. Sheridan shot a look at me, making sure I was okay, but apparently saw nothing to cause her concern.

Tanya bounced off the bed and threw herself at her last letter.

"Open yours too guys!" She said as she ripped the lip off her envelope. I sighed again but picked the last letter off the bed, already knowing which university it was from. I half hoped I wouldn't get in. It would be too hard.

Despite my qualms I opened it slowly, unfolding the sheet of paper inside with apprehension.

I only managed to read the first line before tears swam in my eyes, blurring the words and distorting my vision.

"Oh Lilly," Sheridan said, pulling me into a hug. "It doesn't matter that you didn't get in, there are plenty of other--"

"No, I got in." I interrupted and she released me enough so she could look into my tear filled eyes.

"Then why are you crying?"

"Harry went to that university." I said, almost choking on the words. Her arms tightened around me and I leaned against her, trying not to cry.

"What's up with you?" Tanya asked, coming down from her high and noticing us huddled together.

"Nothing," I said, pulling away from Sheridan and sniffing.

"Whatever." Tanya shrugged, too happy to bother pressing me about it. "We should go out tonight! To celebrate our graduation to Uni!"

"That would be great!" I exclaimed, desperate for something to take my mind off of everything that had happened today.

"Sheridan?" Tanya asked, and we both turned to glare at her.

"Fine! Fine!" She sighed, seeing she had no other option.

"Okay I'm gonna get ready and we can meet here in a couple of hours! 'Kay?" Tanya asked, bouncing off the bed and hopping towards the door. Sheridan and I nodded helplessly and she beamed before disappearing out the door in a rush of air.

"God she's uncontrollable that one." Sheridan said, rolling her eyes at me. I tutted with her and we both laughed.

I stood up and grabbed my phone off the bedside table.

"I'm just going to call Laura." She shot me a confused look so I quickly added, "Miss Hart."

"Ah," She said and her eyes took on a mischievous look.

"No, no! Don't start!" I laughed and half ran to the nearest bathroom and locked the door.

"Hey," I said when she answered and I could hear the smile in her voice when she replied,

"hiya." There was a pause as I tried to word what I wanted to say. "What is it?" She prodded.

"I, uh, my university letters arrived today."

"Oh, great!" Her voice was full of excitement.

"Yeah. I guess."

"What's wrong?" She asked, catching on immediately. "You did get in, didn't you?"

"Yeah I did but... Harry went there." There was a silence, then she said carefully.

"He's you're brother, right?" Her words were hesitant, like a child scared of leaping into the deep end of a swimming pool.

"Yes, he was." I said, realizing I'd never told her about him. "He died just over six months ago."

"Oh," she said, followed by another silence, then, "I did hear about that but I wasn't sure of the details."

"Hmm," I said agreeably, not sure how to respond. I was glad that she hadn't gushed with apologies as though that would somehow make me feel better. I should have known she was too smart for that, but the appropriate reply eluded me.

"How did he die?" She asked then quickly added, "sorry, you don't need to answer that if you don't want to."

"It's okay." I stopped again, debating whether it was the right time to tell her this. It would reveal facts about our family that I'd never told anyone else, and it could scare her about our relationship. "He didn't find his girl in time."

"What?" She asked, sounding confused.

"His crystal girl, he died because he didn't find her in time."

"Does that happen often in your family?"

"Not really, only about once a generation."

"Could you have died if you didn't find me?" She asked, sounding nervous.

"Yes." I said quietly, feeling a little bad for telling her but a whole lot more relieved.

"Oh," she breathed and I felt a sharp twinge of guilt. "But you're fine now?"

"Yes." I said, not wanting to worry her with the truth. How would she react if I told her I'd die if she didn't tell me she loved me and meant it? Would she be able to accept that and deal with the pressure? Even more would she be able to handle the fact she would also die if we didn't fall in love? I wasn't ready to test that yet and risk ending our relationship. "I'm fine."

"Great!" She exclaimed with relief.

"Yeah."

"Did you want anything else, or...?"

"No, no. I just wanted to hear your voice... I guess I'll let you go then."

"Okay. Stay safe."

"I will, bye."

"Bye."

I ended the call, feeling worse than before but also relieved. It was like a weight had been taken off my shoulders then punched into my stomach.

I went back into my bedroom and flung myself on the bed. Sheridan came and sat beside me, and we stayed that way for a while.

"Are you okay?" Sheridan finally asked and I sighed and crossed my arms behind my head, lying back and staring up at the ceiling.

"I'm alright."

"Okay," she said, drawing the word out, "do you want to talk about something?"

"Like what?"

"I don't know, anything. I know we haven't really... mentioned your brother."

"I don't want to talk about that." I said, closing my eyes to keep the tears at bay.

"Come on Lilly, you need to."

"I'd rather not." I said, gritting my teeth to stop myself from screaming at her. Thankfully she stopped then and a long period of time went by with both of us lost in our own thoughts.

"You know Tanya and I will never judge you for any of that." Sheridan said suddenly. Her words caught me a little off guard and I rolled onto my side so I could see her.

"I know." I said.

"We're here for you. Even if you don't talk to us, we're still here."

"I know." I repeated, unable to think of anything else. How do you respond to that?

"As long as you remember that."

"I will." I smiled at her, then twisted my head to look at the clock. "Shit! We need to get ready!"

"What, why?"

"Tanya will be here in ten minutes!" I said and leaped off my bed.

She watched me, looking amused as I threw clothes over my shoulder, trying to find something nice to wear. Finally she took pity on me and came over.

"Wear this." She said, handing me a dress made of some sort of shiny green material. I barely remember buying it and knew I'd never worn it. "I'll curl your hair for you. Where are those curlers I bought you?"

"Uh, in that drawer." I said, indicating the bottom drawer of my chest-of-drawers where I kept all the make up and hair products people gave me. "Close your eyes." I said and she obeyed. I quickly stripped down to my underwear and pulled the dress over my head. "You can open them now."

She opened her eyes and ran her eyes over me.

"That looks great on you." She said but I wasn't sure. I tugged the bottom of the dress down as the hem only sat halfway down my thigh.

"Are you sure? It feels a bit short." I said and Sheridan rolled her eyes at me.

"It's fine, honestly. Now come here."

I went forward and sat on the floor in front of her. She twisted my hair around the iron a few times, and before I knew it, she was done.

"Stand up." She ordered and I did so with difficulty. I was unaccustomed to wearing a dress, or a skirt, so the art of standing up without flashing eluded me. "You look beautiful L."

"Thanks." I blushed and ran a hand through my hair self-consciously.

"Don't ruin it!" Sheridan said sharply and I moved my hand back to my side.

The doorbell went and I heard someone moving downstairs, then dads low voice rumble something and there were footsteps on the stairs.

A few seconds later the door was flung open and Tanya stepped through, dressed in an extremely short dress and a pair of bright blue stiletto heels. She ran her eyes over me and sniffed.

"You need heels! And maybe some make up." Tanya went over to my wardrobe and scanned the shoes that were lined up at the bottom. "They're all horrible!" She said and pulled a pair of heels out her bag and tossed them to me. "Here, wear these."

I caught them instinctively.

"You carry an extra pair of heels in your bag?" Sheridan asked incredulously.

"You never know when you might need them." Tanya shrugged and smacked Sheridan over the head when she snorted. "What are you wearing?" She demanded.

"This," Sheridan said and Tanya appeared lost for words.

"That?" She asked pulling on the baggy material of her top. "You can't wear that!"

"Yes I can."

"I wont be seen with you if you're wearing that!"

"Guess I can't go then." Sheridan smirked and Tanya groaned. After a few minutes of mental debate she sighed and agreed to let her come, even as horribly dressed as she was.

Sheridan and I smirked at each other often during the short journey to the club. Tanya huffed and complained and muttered to herself, only adding to our amusement.

Only once we arrived, and she'd had a drink or two did she stop complaining and actually begin to enjoy the night.

I remembered the night of our leavers party and stuck to vodka and coke, making sure I couldn't get drunk.

The three of us danced together for most of the night, only pausing when we were too tired to continue. By three am no one had the energy to dance any more and we got a cab home.

That night I cried myself to sleep, thinking about Harry and about how happy he would have been for me.