A week. Is that long enough? Will she think I'm desperate phoning her this soon? Will it scare her away? How long do most people leave it? A week? Two? Or even a month? Not a month! Please don't be a month! I'd die!

"I think the milk's off." My mum stated and I snapped back to reality. She was gingerly sniffing the top of the milk carton and now thrust it under my nose. "What do you think?"

"Mum!" I whined, "it stinks!"

"Definitely off." She muttered and turned to dispose of it only to find her way blocked by Anne. "Excuse me."

"Mum, there's something I need to tell you."

"Of course dear, are you sure you're okay?" Anne was as white as a sheet and clutching her stomach.

"No, I'm - it's not sickness - I am ill but what I'm about to tell you will explain why." She gestured to the chair, "it's probably best if you sit down."

Mum looked worried but sat nonetheless.

"I've been sick for a while and I guess you all thought it was because of the food poisoning, but it's not."

"Oh dear god, you don't have cancer, do you?" My mum asked.

"No, mum! Of course not! What the hell made you think that?"

"It's in the paper." She said, "more people than ever have cancer."

"I don't. What I'm going to tell you is a lot happier." She looked from me to my mum with a huge grin on her face. "I'm pregnant!"

"Oh!" My mum squealed and leaped up to hug her. "That's fabulous!"

Anne winced but hugged her back.

"That's great Anne." I said and got up to kiss her on the cheek. "How far along are you?"

"Ten weeks." She grinned. "I've been suspecting for a while but only took the test last night."

"That's great! We all know how much you've wanted one!"

"I know." Her face lit up, "just imagine it. Holding a little baby in your arms, a life you created yourself. What could be better?"

"Holding two." My mum said a wistful smile on her face.

"I'm going for the scan in a couple of weeks. Does the first tell you if you're having more than one?" Anne asked.

"I can't remember, I expect it would. We shall find out, won't we?"

"I can't wait!" Anne squealed, her face lit up, all traces of sickness now gone.

"We'll have to start preparing. Where will it sleep? In your room at first but will you move out? Should we do up one of the spare rooms? What clothes will you need? So much to do!"

"Calm down mum! It's still seven months away." Anne laughed.

"You can never being preparing too early." Mum rushed out the room.

I looked at Anne and we both burst out laughing.

"That woman!" Anne spluttered.

"She's something else." I agreed.

Mum came back into the room with a huge book. It was so big she could barely carry it.

"What's that?" I asked, quickly moving my hand so she wouldn't squash it as she slammed the book onto the table.

"Everything you need to know about having a child." Mum said. "I used it when I had all my children and now you can use it as well."

As mum said this she threw me an odd look. I didn't understand what she wanted at first, then realised she probably wanted me to leave so she and Anne could have some mother-daughter time.

"I need a shower." I excused myself, "you two have fun."

I left the room and heard my mum say: "she didn't need to leave."

I realised I might've misread her expression. So what was it about then? She had been talking about her children. A sinking feeling started in my stomach but I pushed it away, buried it under other thoughts, the way I always did. I never thought about that and I wasn't about to change that now.

I picked my phone off the bedside table and checked my messages. I had a couple from friends but the person I was really checking for hadn't sent anything. Maybe she was waiting for me to send her a message first. Maybe she wanted to text but, like me, wasn't sure I wanted to talk to her.

Or maybe she just didn't want to talk to me. Maybe she wanted me to leave her alone so she could stay with her girlfriend in peace.

My heart twisted as I remembered the easy way in which Laura had embraced the woman who came out of her house. I had pictured it over and over again, each time imagining that the woman was me and it was my lips that met hers when she leaned in for that kiss.

Laura hadn't looked back as the woman pulled her into the house and I could just about picture what happened next. At least I knew she'd had a good night even if I didn't.

Jealousy bubbled in my stomach and it made my decision for me. Before I knew it a message was on it's way.

I took a quick shower and once I was dried and dressed I checked, and happily found a reply.

She'd made me think. I'd always been sure that I wouldn't have children yet but now I wasn't so sure. I'd seen what the death of Harry did to my family and if that ever happened to me I was sure I wouldn't cope with it nearly as well as they had. But were the good times worth it? Was it enough?

I stared down at the message, not able to believe the words I was reading.

What had I done?

I stared at her. I couldn't form words. What was her problem?

She smirked as she typed and I imagined what she might be writing. An image of Lilly's face as she read whatever it was flashed in front of my eyes and I found that I was no longer frozen.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I screamed, leaping up and pulling my phone from her grip.

"I don't like you talking to other people." Caitlin said unconcernedly. I gaped at her.

"Why is it your business who I fucking talk to?" I demanded.

"You're my girlfriend which means you belong to me. You'll do what I say." She said, her voice cold and mocking.

"I don't fucking belong to you! I'm a living person and you don't have a say in what I do!"

"You chose to be with me. That means you want me to be involved in your life and that's what I'm trying to do."

"I can chose who my friends are without you!"

"No, you can't. You need me Laura, more than you know."

"Oh, shut up. Get out."

"You know you don't want me to. You know I love you."

"If you loved me then you wouldn't cheat on me!" For the first time her stony expression slipped and was replaced with shock. "Oh, yes, I know about that. I'm not an idiot and I don't like being played! So get out!"

She didn't move.

"I'll drag you if I have to." I hissed, breathing slowly, trying to calm myself down.

She just stood there, staring at me with an expressionless face. I moved towards her and she backed away slowly until she finally ran out the door, shouting over her shoulder.

"This isn't the end of us! You still love me!"

I sat down on the sofa and typed another message to Lilly.

All the anger drain out of me, to be replaced by exhaustion. I fought against the wave of tears building behind my eyes and typed a simple reply.

***

Half an hour later Lilly entered the living room to find me curled up on the floor, sobbing.

"Hey... hey." She came over beside me and touched my arm. "It's okay."

"Yeah," I mumbled and wrapped my arms around her.

"Come on." She whispered gently rubbing my back, "tell me all about it."

So I did.

She held me as I talked and when I cried. When I got embarrassed and tried to pull away she only held me tighter, rocking us both in a slow rhythm.

Eventually, worn out by my tears and finding ways to carefully explain my relationship, I fell into a deep sleep.