y/n l/n doesn't know if she ever truly wanted to be a lawyer.

sometime during grad school she felt the inkling of doubt.

or maybe she first felt it during her freshman year.

all she knows is,

winning her cases are almost not worth the nightmares.

all the gruesome details,

the pained victims or the arrogant perpetrators,

the evidence she's touched that stains her fingers to this day.

of course,

her first case had been the hardest.

and though it's gotten easier,

it's still every bit as difficult.

not a day slips by y/n without her having a migraine.

and she doesn't know if recently,

she's been burning out or if this job is taking it's

toll on her,

but she finds herself tucked away in the bathroom of the courthouse,

shaking like a leaf in this midst of autumn.

"please just calm down, y/n,"

she whispers to herself for a sliver of reassurance.

and when her trembling begins to calm down enough to continue her day,

she slips out of the restroom and takes her well needed lunch break.

and just when she thinks she can escape,

have a moments peace from this burden of a job...

"today, on channel four, we're taking a look at the trial of virginia's newest, alleged serial killer. and his lawyer? notorious y/n l/n, whose degree was handed to her by harvard law school themselves after being deemed valedictorian and top of her class, winning nearly every single case given to her since! the trial begins today. here's to hoping mr. malcom is not the killer, seeing as the court stands no chance against virginias finest. will a killer be put back on the streets? or will an innocent man be released? more at twelve."

can't she go anywhere without hearing her name?

y/n is no celebrity.

so why must she be treated as such?

she sits with her food and files,

but inevitably let's her food goes to waste.

there's a great possibility her client is guilty.

too great of a chance that it clouds her consciousness.

she knows with certainty that she could clear this man's name.

with a few choppy pieces of evidence provided by the prosecutor,

a character witness or two,

and an alibi for at least one murder,

y/n is confident she could finesse his way into release.

but is it worth it?

she isn't sure she wants to.

and while she could tank her defense claim and be sure he serves at least some time,

the possibility isn't even fathomable.

"are you y/n l/n?"

y/n looks up and hurries to close these confidential files before her.

this room was meant to be closed off from the public for this very reason.

yet,

here this stranger stands.

"depends on who's asking."

"luke alvez, fbi."

y/n stares at this gleaming badge and has to stop herself from rolling her eyes.

she knows how these agents are:

arrogant, prideful, entitled.

"okay...any relation to the case?"

"yeah. i actually arrested him."

y/n feels a shred of embarrassment arise,

causing a wave of heat to cover her neck.

"oh."

"no judgment. you're doing your job as well as i am."

y/n gives luke a fake smile,

but the one he wears is stripped of any falsity.

has she ever seen such warm eyes in this color of brown?

she doesn't think so.

y/n wonders how someone in that line of work could stand here with such liveliness in their eyes when he sees nothing but death.

how might she learn from him?

y/n shakes this thought from her head to ask,

"i appreciate it. um, c-can i help you with something?"

"oh, yeah. here...you dropped this on your way in."

luke hands her the court badge she dropped.

she sighs and thanks him for returning it.

in her frazzled state,

she'd dropped the very most important thing of her day.

"good luck today, ms. l/n."

when luke turns on his feet to leave,

y/n feels the return of her dread.

she hadn't realized how it left her in luke's presence.

so she calls out for him and waits for him to stand still.

"you don't...don't hate me? even though i'm defending this man you consider guilty?"

luke waits a moment before answering,

"i don't hate you. i admire your diligence. but...i don't like seeing guilty men walk free."

"what makes you think he's guilty?"

luke chuckles and crosses his arms.

"are you allowed to ask me that?"

"off the record."

he looks around to be sure the place is clear of any lingering eyes or ears.

"part of profiling is reading people. not an ounce of fear or remorse in your guy. seemed...proud of what he'd done and that he'd gotten caught."

"proud?"

y/n echoes.

"perhaps he knows he'll get away with it. you're virginia's best after all, ms. l/n. the power is all in your hands."

y/n hates her job more than anything,

especially now.

look at how cruel she is,

defending this guilty, sick man.

"you know i don't have a choice, right? this is my job."

"there's always a choice. you're brilliant, ms. l/n. i have no doubt you'll make the right one."

luke leaves after this.

now she stares at her work on the table and feels the constriction tighten around her throat,

like barbed wire has taken her vocal chords hostage.

what the hell am i gonna do?

"here's what we're going to do,"

y/n tells her client before the trial picks back up.

"you're going to change your plea to guilty-"

"what?! hell no! i'm-i'm innocent."

"listen to me,"

y/n begins with a voice full of conviction.

she is sick of this game.

"you are going to plead guilty. the da just handed me an assload of evidence, including some fingerprints in your apartment."

this is not a lie,

though the only fingerprints found were his own.

the rest of the evidence is damning if not handled correctly.

and y/n doesn't want to handle it any longer.

"this is the only chance you get. plea deal gets you life with possibility of parole. we take this any further and lose? you will be sentenced to death."

the man in this chair beside her wears the face of fear she knows all too well.

"but we can't lose, y/n...it's you!"

"i'm not god, malcom. i cannot control this any further. this is all i can do."

***

"can we believe it? y/n l/n, for the first time in her career, has taken a plea deal! man, this guy must've been guilty as sin to have y/n l/n accept such a thing."

y/n shuts the tv off and rests back in her chair.

is what settling feels like?

if so,

it's a damn good feeling.

she doesn't care what kind of mark this makes on her once shiny career.

it's not worth the piece of mind.

there's a knock at her door now.

she slowly rises to answer but looks through the peephole before she does.

it's not rare that family members appear on her doorstep to either shout obscenities or cry into her arms in relief,

but today it is neither.

there,

on the other side,

is luke alvez.

she's surprised as how excited she is to see him.

in fact,

after the hearing in which her client was sent to jail,

she wanted nothing more than to find luke and thank him.

but he'd disappeared before she got the chance to.

and now,

she's been granted another chance.

"luke!"

she cheers with a smile.

it's the brightest one she's worn in years.

"ms. l/n, so good to see you."

"please, away with the formalities. we're out of court now, y/n is fine."

y/n opens her front door and invites him in,

but becomes a bit sheepish when she sees the state of her apartment.

"sorry it's a mess. i keep busy, you know."

"yeah, i know all too well,"

luke says with a laugh.

"beautiful place, though."

"speaking of...how'd you find me?"

luke lowers his head with what sounds like a nervous laugh then answers,

"i asked around. i hope that's not weird i just...i had to see you again."

y/n gives him the smile reserved only for him when she says,

"well, i'm glad you did. i've been wanting to see you again, too."

the woman of newfound grace waltzes to her kitchen where she pours them a hearty glass of wine.

"oh, so you're a white wine kind of girl."

"mhm,"

y/n says with a giggle.

she feels like she's digressed in age now,

taking her back to mere high school years when she used to giggle.

"are you?"

"nah,"

he answers.

"more of a red wine guy."

"mhm. so, tell me, what does being a white wine drinker mean? profile me."

"hm,"

he begins with a thinking pose.

y/n finds herself laughing at this.

has she ever laughed this much?

well...

not since graduation.

had her life been that desolate since?

"you're a nightowl, most likely an extrovert. probably a little sarcastic, a bit of a perfectionist."

y/n raises her eyebrows.

"all that? from this glass of wine?"

"well that and you're a lawyer."

y/n laughs into her glass then sets it down to say,

"ah. there it is."

the two of them share small, but shy, laughter that fills the both of them up.

luke has seen his fair share of beautiful women,

but y/n is something different.

it's almost like he understands what it means to have a muse.

he understands why the poets speak the way they do.

y/n makes him want to spill over with words of romanticism.

it's the least she deserves.

"so, y/n, i heard the news. life sentence for malcom moore with possibility of parole with a minimum of twenty years."

"yup,"

y/n says without much else to add.

despite her prior excitement to tell him of all of this,

she's finding it rather difficult now.

her perfect record has been stained with settling.

is this not embarrassing?

"you did good, as always. you're an expert in your field, i hope you know that."

y/n shrugs.

she takes her wine and herself into the living room where she gestures for luke to follow her.

"enough about me. how is it being an fbi agent?"

luke takes a rather large drink of this wine before he speaks.

y/n knows that feeling,

to brave your worst moments in sake of conversation.

she finds herself doing the same,

bringing a large amount of wine to settle in her liver.

"it's not easy work, but it's honest. got a great team to work with. it just...it weighs on you over time, you know? always wondering what really happened, always trying to solve the things deemed unsolvable. equal parts fulfilling and damning."

y/n nods in understanding.

"you help so many people though...that's got to feel good."

"oh, definitely. when things work out the way they're supposed to."

she rests her head in her palm to stare at him.

is the wine creating a film over her eyes or has he somehow gotten even more attractive sitting here in her living room?

"you focus a lot on the things that didn't happen, the things you didn't do. i understand...but, it seems like your successes trump any defeats you may have faced."

luke faces her with hazy eyes and a lazy smile.

she knows for certain now that they are getting rather tipsy.

"you're right. easier to remember the negatives."

y/n sighs and leans against the arm of the couch,

throwing her arm over her eyes.

it's been a while since she's indulged into this much wine.

"i know. i think i've freed too many guilty people and it makes me nauseous."

y/n feels luke pick up her dangling legs and rest them comfortably in his lap.

"everyone needs a defense. it's not your fault, y/n. you're just doing your job."

"i don't want to do it anymore. it's exhausting."

she lets out another sigh.

"why do all the scumbags hire me?"

"because you're the damn best,"

luke says with a cordial tap to her shin.

"be proud of yourself. what you do...it's not easy. hell of a lot more work than i've ever done. i can feel the knots in your legs from all the moving around you do. but if you think for a second, that your work goes unnoticed, you'd be wrong. bedsides...what about all the good people you've helped free? helped when they were at their most vulnerable? helped them escape from certain situations?"

y/n removes the arm from her eyes to allow herself a

moments gaze at this lovely man.

luke sees the praise cloud over her eyes.

can she see the very same look in his own?

he's beside himself with admiration.

this woman,

whom he's only known through mere pages of a newspaper,

is now in his company and confiding into him.

has she ever done this before?

he sure hasn't,

but there's something about y/n that makes him want to confess his sins until he's pure enough for god's paternal kiss.

"you're different. every other agent i've met has either spit at my feet or feels like i owe them something...but you...you're nice. you understand."

"i'm glad. i'd hate to say i came here and wasted your white wine."

y/n laughs into her hand,

but the laugh burst up from her lungs and echoes in this room.

it's been years since she's felt such light, welcoming pressure on her diaphragm,

brought forth by the beauty of laughter.

luke, too, finds himself in a fit of laughter at y/n's outburst.

the two create a rather beautiful symphony when their joy comes together as one.

luke has never fathomed being inside infamous y/n l/n's apartment,

much less seeing this side of her.

but how he loves it.

he'd do anything to see more of her.

when this thought stamps itself across his mind in boldened letters,

luke flinches.

he is not one of those guys that drunkenly falls for women.

he does not seek their fleeting affections for the night and he does not offer his own.

which is why he hurries to stand and excuse himself.

"i should get going...this was nice, though. thank you for having me."

y/n stops laughing and gives him a look of longing.

don't look at me like that, y/n.

i don't know what's happening to me.

if you look at me like that any longer,

i'll never leave.

"you're leaving already?"

she hurries to stand up,

though she staggers some in doing so.

"you just got here. come on. at least have a cup of coffee before you go."

luke goes to decline her sweet offer,

but he cannot find the words to deny such beauty.

especially when her hand find it's way to his bicep,

where it rests perfectly;

almost like he was made for her embrace.

"okay,"

he finally says.

the pair make way to the kitchen again,

but this time a little more drunk than before.

y/n begins brewing this coffee and sits on her counter as she waits.

"did i say something that bothered you?"

she now asks,

referring to his abrupt announcement to leave.

"no, no. not at all. i just...i've had too much to drink and i'm worried i'll do something to mess this up."

"like?"

she draws out the syllables of her question.

"...i can't say. it's unprofessional."

y/n rolls her eyes.

"yeah, cause getting wine drunk together is super professional."

she then leans back on her hands and says,

"if you can't tell me, come show me. i've always been more of a hands on learner anyways."

is y/n granting him an opening?

does she feel the same rising of vehemence that he feels?

luke takes this opportunity and rests himself between the opening of y/n's legs as she sits on the counter,

anticipating this very moment.

he allows the palm of his hand to rest gently against her neck,

and he pulls her in.

the kiss tastes of white wine.

luke alvez has never loved it more.

y/n loses herself in this man who has taken her as she is.

despite her publicized flaws,

the sins she's confessed to,

he still desires her.

this makes her pull him in even deeper.

y/n is not one for hookups.

she names them childish.

luke alvez is not a man who kisses women on the first date.

he thinks it impolite.

yet,

here the two rest,

breaking all of their rules in the name of impatience.

luke bends to the curve of y/n,

trying to heal all that's broken inside of her.

this is a woman of great propriety and even greater passion.

she deserves to feel good.

so luke alvez does exactly that.

he takes the wounded, stressed lawyer that everyone seeks out,

and he makes her feel good.

***

to say the least,

y/n has never felt lighter.

it feels like she was once atlas,

holding the weight of the world on her shoulders,

but has now been relieved of that pressure.

though her head aches terribly and now she's reminded why she doesn't drink anymore.

y/n feels the tightening of arms around her waist and remembers her heavenly night with luke.

how had he turned her,

the person who once did nothing but shake and stress,

into someone completely unrecognizable?

she is brighter,

she is free,

she is happy.

and is he to thank?

when she turns around to face him,

there is not a doubt in her mind:

thank you.

though she does not say this,

luke understands it when she lets her fingers trail down the length of his cheek

and to signal his welcomes,

he kisses the tips of her fingers.

they have already developed an unspoken language.

what might be next?

"i don't usually do this,"

she says in reference to the bonding of their bodies just hours prior.

"at all, really."

"i don't either."

y/n finds herself shying away from luke's gaze that's full of adulation.

"are you glad we did?"

she asks.

luke brings this fragile woman in need of pure affection closer to his chest and lets her rest there.

hear my heart beat,

he speaks without saying as much.

and know that every pulse is an echo of your name.

"without a doubt...are you?"

she answers with a kiss to his neck.

that had been the very beginning of their forever.

***

luke alvez would learn how to take in his bad days and how to celebrate his good days.

y/n made sure of it.

there was never a dull moment around the two,

even as years passed by them.

things were always fun and vigorous,

always loving and comforting.

it's only one of many qualities luke loves about his dear y/n.

and y/n would quit her job at the most prestigious firm in virginia to go public.

she much rather preferred to be a public defender,

considering these were people who actually needed her help.

and she offered it without a doubt.

her once grim job became a passion again,

and she had luke to thank for reigniting that light in her.

though the news of her switch from criminal to public stayed in the eye of the news much longer than she deemed necessary,

y/n was just glad to be free and in love.

tonight is no different.

after a long nights work,

the two meet in the apartment that was picked out and purchased by both of them,

and they spend an evening of white wine and pleasure together.

a beautiful life is finally within their reach.