"lesions?"

y/n asked in astonishment,

staring at the photo before her.

"thats...horrifying."

"you've seen worse, no?"

spencer asked with a small grin.

y/n shrugged and continued to stare at the photo.

"maybe. but it's just horrible. is there a cure?"

spencer pondered the thought for a second,

wondering if lying to the girl would be easier than watching her grow disappointed.

but he decided against it and answered her with the shake of his head.

"not yet."

"only a precautionary?"

"yeah."

y/n nodded and took notice to the smell of the medicine that remained engrained in her lungs,

even still.

"scary stuff."

y/n messed with the corner of the page rather absentmindedly as the silence grew upon them.

"hey, you two head to dr nichols' home and check it out."

morgan instructed.

y/n and spencer both nodded in understanding then made way to where the house in question remained.

"it's a scary world we live in, reid. kids can't even enjoy their day at the park, high school girls can't flirt, i mean...it's insane."

"if the world were any less insane, we'd be out of a job, y/n."

"i know."

"that's what we're here for. making the world better to live in."

y/n turned to face the boy she'd spent years working beside,

and gave him a small smile.

"you're right. thank you."

spencer nodded in acknowledgement,

and soon the car came to a stop.

"come on."

the two trailed out of the car and into the house to investigate,

before spencer lingered back in the yard to catch a call from morgan.

y/n continued her walk inside and found what seemed to be a lab with the door wide open.

"oh, god,"

she mumbled,

eyeing the dead doctor on the floor.

the smell singed her lungs horribly and made her eyes water,

but she still knelt down to inspect.

she realized the man had been dead for a few days now.

she grabbed onto the table to lift herself up,

a stinging pain began in the tip of her index finger.

she looked to see the broken glass sticking out,

where the blood began to rise.

she picked her finger dry of the glass and looked to see just what happened.

there laid a spilled vial of anthrax,

to which she was now exposed to.

horror solidified deep inside of her.

"y/n?"

spencer's voice called.

she hurried to shut the door before he could enter and become at risk too,

but she was too late.

spencer walked into the lab,

and sealed their fate.

"shit! reid!"

"w-what?"

she could barely find the words.

but spencer read the panic in her eyes and was able to put two and two together.

her hand was reddened with blood,

and anthrax taunted them as it floated in the air.

he rushed to lock the door before anyone else could walk in and hurt themselves,

leaving y/n and spencer to fight their way through.

"spencer...i messed up..."

"you're going to be fine, y/n, you took cipro, let's just keep working."

she stood still in both shame and fear,

confirming what would soon be spencer's biggest fear.

"you didn't take it, did you?"

she shook her head no and began to tremble from the impending doom.

"why?!"

y/n flinched,

never having heard spencer yell,

especially not towards her.

"i told jj to give it to henry. she was worried about him to tears, spencer!"

he ran shaky hands through his hair and stared down at the girl,

letting all his worries come to.

he'd always known he harbored love for the girl,

but realizing she was facing death forced all the feelings he'd buried away to come to light.

he was in love with y/n,

and she'd never get the chance to know.

"no, no,"

he mumbled to himself,

knowing they were going to walk out of here with a cure in hand.

spencer coughed and wiped a bead of sweat from his forehead,

"oh, spence..."

she whispered,

eyeing the blackening cut to the back of his hand.

y/n extended her hands out for him,

to which he quickly fell into.

the two remained in each other's embrace,

listening to the faint beating of each other's heart for what could be the last time.

"come on...let's-let's work,"

spencer mumbled through the knot in his throat,

worrying more about y/n's health than his own.

they rushed to find something,

anything,

that would help to find the person behind this attack.

better yet,

the cure.

"look,"

spencer called,

showing her the two sets of notes with different handwritings.

"a protege..."

"call hotch."

without missing a beat,

y/n hurried to call hotch and relay their new findings.

spencer continued to search around for more the longer she remained on the phone.

"they're heading back to the b.a.u to find the partner."

"you feeling okay?"

he asked,

noticing her now sallow body.

the sweat laid thick to her body the longer she stood up.

she only nodded.

"y/n, you're an idiot. with all due respect."

she mustered enough strength to give him a smile.

"my fatal flaw: rash decisions."

spencer sat on the floor of the lab,

where y/n soon followed and leaned her head to his shoulder.

"i'm sorry..."

"don't be. you're going to be okay."

"if i survive this, i sure as hell won't survive hotch."

the two of them laughed as best they could,

but soon y/n's breathing came in ragged wheezes.

she coughed continuously,

trying to rid of the tickle in the back of her throat,

but nothing could stop it.

"spence?"

"yeah?"

she took his clammy hand into hers and held it close to her chest,

where her racing heart continued to beat.

spencer didn't want to admit it,

but he could feel it lessening with each passing second.

"if i do die-"

"no. no, don't talk like that."

"please, just listen. i just want you to know i've spent years loving you...and-and i don't want to go without you knowing that-that-"

she coughed out mid sentence,

and spencer could see the tears sliding down her cheeks.

"you've bettered me. and i'll always admire you."

"please don't talk like that, y/n...please."

she cried a little,

despite her best attempts not to,

and shook her head.

her body was weakening,

and she could feel it beginning to shut down.

her phone rang in her pocket,

but her limbs were too weak to find it.

"y/n, y/n, stay with me. please."

he begged,

hurrying to find her phone.

y/n slumped to the floor rather lifeless,

but spencer could see the faint rise and fall of her chest indicating she was still breathing some.

"morgan!"

"where's y/n?"

"it's-it's bad, morgan. we've got to hurry."

reid hurried around the lab to find more information all while staying on the phone with morgan.

but he couldn't quit eyeing y/n,

who was clinging onto her very last breaths of life.

the frustration and panic was festering inside of spencer the longer he remained boxed in.

"where's dr kimura?!"

"she's coming, reid, she'll be there soon. you two hang in there."

"you've got to hurry. please."

his voice was thick with desperation.

he couldn't bear to see the girl his heart sought for slowly slip away.

despite his weakening limbs,

he kneeled next to y/n and held her in his arms.

"hey, hey, look at me."

her weak eyelids opened to meet him,

where she family smiled.

she began to speak,

but there her aphasia began.

her eyes widened at the sounds of her own incoherent speech,

but that's all the reaction she could exert.

spencer laid his head to hers and let the tears fall free of his eyes.

"if...when we make it out of here, i promise i'll never waste another moment without you. i will love you the way you deserved to be."

he wasn't sure if y/n could hear him completely,

she had the habit of passing out when pain became too unbearable,

but the words whisked away in the wind as conformation.

dr kimura rushed in,

dressed in her hazmat suit,

and there began their chase for the cure.

"she'll make it, right? the-the first person to die made it after ten hours."

spencer was holding onto whatever hope he could.

but the look on the doctors face was skeptical.

"it's...complicated."

he looked to y/n's faltering body and prayed to the gods above.

they both had to make it.

spencer returned to his search for the cure,

and couldn't help but to think of their tragic deaths.

could have been lovers,

dying moments after confessing their love.

it seemed cruel,

yet the world was just that.

he laid in the ambulance and decided against talking after his aphasia began too.

he took to thinking about y/n and her many rash decisions in this job while he laid in silence.

morgan's curses still echoed inside of his head once the information of her neglect to the medicine was relayed.

there'd been times when y/n took her vest off, set her weapon down,

and talked to a raving serial killer like a genuine human.

she'd escaped harm free,

until she found hotch again.

there'd been a time when she took a bullet for an almost victim,

and another bullet for her team member.

she was always risking herself for the better of other people.

and though spencer admired her loyalty,

this had to have been her stupidest idea yet.

but he knew if she had to risk herself for henry to remain safe,

it'd be a worthy trade.

still,

he could curse her until her ears hurt.

spencer realized though,

her fatal flaw wasn't rash decisions,

her big heart was her fuel for courage.

spencer dreamed about her until his eyes closed,

and carried him under.

***

spencer stirred awake and let the blinding lights sting his eyes.

yet,

that was preferable to the threat of anthrax.

his body was sore,

but he was glad to be alive.

until he remembered y/n's pale, still body.

he sat up quickly,

ignoring the searing pain in his limbs,

and looked around for y/n.

morgan laid his calloused hand to his shoulder and leaned him back to rest.

"relax, pretty boy."

"where's y/n?"

"she's just in the other room. she's still resting."

"but-but she's okay?"

morgan nodded in confirmation.

"she's okay."

relief washed over him.

he could sit back into the hospital bed now,

worry free,

and look around at his surroundings.

"so...is there more jell-o?"

y/n,

soon after spencer woke up,

trailed into his room to see him again.

her body ached with each new movement,

but she knew it was all worth it to see spencer again.

she had assumed their time together was drawing to an end,

but by some miracle,

they were together still.

"what are you doing up?"

spencer asked once he saw her,

scooting himself over to make room for her.

"i had to see you, of course."

she smiled and climbed into his bed,

laying her head on his chest.

spencer wrapped an arm around her and relished in the warmth of her body.

her breathing was normal again,

and there was nothing greater than this.

"how are you feeling?"

"better. way better,"

he answered.

y/n nestled to his chest a bit more comfortably then took in a deep breath.

"what a great start to a relationship, hm? almost dying together."

spencer chuckled,

though his heart did a little flip at the mention of a relationship

"..relationship?"

he questioned rather shyly.

y/n shrugged.

"unless you'd rather extend the date of your promise. though i have to point out, you'd be wasting another moment."

spencer smiled and let out a breathless laugh,

then allowed himself to plant a kiss to the top of her head.

"i don't think i can wait another second."