《The Pain You Bring *EDITING*》35 | 𝐆𝐢𝐟𝐭
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Carter and I slept in each other's arms for another hour before the doctor came in and informed us that Carter will need to wear a cast for the next six weeks.
After that, I left the room - to which Carter whined about - to tell my mom the details. Abby left me message saying that she had to get back home to her family, but she'll see me when we get back to New York.
She decided to stay an extra week when we all return because she wants to catch up with us before she goes back to Texas.
Honestly, I think this mystery man is making her second guess her decisions. Which I'm not upset over. I love Abby and I've loved seeing her these past few weeks.
I told Chloe everything and she freaked the hell out. She even insisted on flying out here but I told her fuck no. Her mom is getting treatments done for her potential cancer diagnosis and she needs to be home.
Landon on the other hand... didn't take it well either.
He also freaked the hell out. But he has to stay in New York for his journalism internship. His family lives in a chateau in France apparently and he couldn't find time to see them.
Carter is his best friend, so I could see why he's immediately risk the chopping of his balls to come see him.
When Carter was able to leave the hospital, my mom drove us both back home.
Now, I am arguing with Carter about weither or not showering with a cast is okay on Christmas Day.
"The doctor specifically said it was fine because it's waterproof, you idiot," I snip at him.
He slits his eyes, "well I don't remember that so how am I supposed to believe you?"
I roll my eyes in return, "just fucking shower please and stop being difficult. I'll go make you some lunch."
Before I can turn around towards the door, Carters good hand grips my waist.
"You sure you don't wanna join me?" he smirks.
"Mhm. Of course. That broken wrist of yours does wonders I'm sure," I say, my voiced laced with sarcasm.
"You know what? Out," he snips with a grin he attempts to hide before open the door and slamming my ass out of it.
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I make my way downstairs towards the kitchen where my mother sits on her laptop at the counter.
"Hey," I sigh. We haven't talked one-on-one since the entire argument two days ago. The air between us has shifted awkwardly since then.
"You making lunch?" she asks, her eyes still glued to her screen.
"Yeah."
"Honey, I wanted to talk to you," my mother says. She pulls of her glasses as she looks at me. I lather mayo onto the bread for Carters sandwich and avoid eye contact with her.
"About what?"
"Do not play dumb with me," my mother says.
I don't respond. I can't respond. The words have left my mouth.
"Mandy," my mother sighs. I place the top slice of bread on the sandwich as she speaks. "I love you so much. You're my daughter. And I agree-" she pauses, taking in a deep breath, "that there are some things I may not have done right when you were younger."
I pause my movements and look up at her face as she talks. My mother is so beautiful. Chocolate brown hair cut to her shoulders, hazel eyes fit with long eye lashes, and bone structure that is stunningly defined. She has aged well and I hope to age exactly like her.
"I was lost, Mandy. You're father packed his crap and left like I was nothing. I was on my own. I never wish that for you, not in a thousand years,"
"But I was so young. I was growing up as I was raising you and it was so difficult. I miss you're father, I missed being that free and young girl again and I couldn't be that way now that I had responsibilities to tend to by myself."
Tears fill her eyes and I struggle to keep mine in too. After meeting Carter, I realized that showing my emotions was never a bad thing. It made me stronger to cry, to let it all out, even if it made me feel weak.
I never cried because I always felt it made me vulnerable, but Carter changed my perspective on myself and on life in ways I could never be able to explain.
"I just wanted the best for you. So I pushed you to get good grades, I pushed you to move out of this tiny ass town, I pushed you to live a life of your own like I never could," she sniffles and wipes a tear from her eye as she gets up and walks over to me, facing me directly.
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"But now I realized," she started again, "that I shouldn't have pushed you. I should've guided you in the direction that was best. I thought I was being a good mother, I thought I was raising you to be strong and confident and I did that but not in the way I planned it to be," she takes my hands in her own.
"I love you so much. You are my baby girl, my lifeline, and you saved me when I thought I'd never be able to grow. I'm sorry, Amanda."
It's not until I realize she's hugging me that I left everything out of my body. Every tear, every shake, every ounce of longing from my mother that I wanted for so long.
"I want to start over," she whispers.
I wrap my arms around her and bury my face into her neck, remembering the smell of her perfume that I haven't smelt since I was eight years old.
"I love you too, mom," I say through my tears. We both stand there silent, holding each other. This was much needed for both of us, it was the closure I've needed since I was little.
"Am I interrupting something?" Carter's voice trails from the staircase. My mom immediately lets go of me and looks up with a smile to Carter, "no, honey, you're fine."
I smile at him and his blue eyes fill with that familiar kindness I love so damn much.
"Can I have my sand-which?" he asks me as he points to the plate with his lunch on the counter.
———————————-
Christmas was really nice.
In fact, it may have been the best Christmas I've had at home in my whole life. My mother got me small things like candles and socks and cute things to take back to New York.
When I grab Carter's box, it's wrapped intricately with a gold bow. It's a smaller square so I'm guessing it's a piece of jewelry.
His grin is wide when I take the box in my hand and untie the golden bow. Slipping off the lid, I'm pretty sure the air from my lungs has completely been stolen and bottled somewhere.
It's a necklace.
A diamond necklace.
I hear my mothers gasp and when I look over, she has a wide smile on her face.
I stare back at the beautiful circular diamond laying in the box on my palm. I feel Carters warmth on my left arm as he sits beside me.
"You're into fashion but not that fashion so to speak," he chuckles.
"But you love jewelry. So I figured this would look nice on you," he whispers in my ear. He grabs the necklace out of the box and I move my hair to my shoulder so he can put it on me.
"Uhh wait," he says and I turn around. His cheeks are red and I realize it's because he can't put it on me. He's wearing a cast on one of his hands.
I laugh silent to myself as I stand and gently take the necklace from his hand.
The smile I have on my lips is embarrassing. I've never received something as extravagant but for some reason, it makes me feel so beautiful and appreciated. Carter always seemed to make me feel that way.
When I look down to see the necklace hanging slightly above the cleavage of my breasts, I don't hesitate to kiss Carter hard, even in front of my mother.
He'd be getting a lot more than a kiss later.
"Thank you," I whisper as I kiss his cheek. "Of course," he says back, "that was supposed to be romantic. You know, me doing the whole putting the necklace in you thing."
I laugh and so does my mom. "You guys are adorable," she says. "Can I get a photo?"
Carter grabs my hip with his good hand and I wrap my arms around his neck. We pose as my mom takes one photo with flash, and Carter quickly steals a kiss on my cheek as she takes another.
"I love you," he whispers in my ear. I muzzle my nose onto his cheek, silently telling him I love him too.
In all honestly, I was never one for rushing through life.
But when it came to Carter, I couldn't wait to see what my future with him would be like.
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