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Have you ever felt like you had lived your life the fullest. And there was no other moment you wished to spend in the world. Like your purpose for coming to the world was fulfilled. Like everything was complete. That contentment, that comfort, that pleasuring satisfaction, that ease and happiness was all I needed. And it felt like I had lived fully.

Just by looking at my Dad smile at me.

Yeah, you read right. The impossible had happened. Though he did not smile fully. Thought that smile did not reach his eyes, thought it was only for a mere second, but even then the joy and cheerfulness it brought along was seen by me as a jar of hearts.

At that moment it was clear to me, if ever, in my life, I'll be attached to someone, that'd be my Dad. I'd be a proud Daddy's girl if he ever let me.

So, how did the miracle happen?

After the meal after I came from school, I still had that empty feeling inside my stomach. Being my over-efficient, over-obedient, self-killing self I was, gave the bowl to Dad and later the hunger wasn't letting me do anything productive.

Making my way into the kitchen I tried finding something that could satisfy the excited muscle inside me. Just when my gaze landed on the empty bowl of pasta a contended sigh left my mouth. A creepy smile crawled up my face as I registered the fact that Dad had indeed eaten all of it.

The grumbling sound coming from my stomach brought me back from my lovely fantasyland. My eyes caught my absolute favourite and I wasted no time in grabbing the jar of cornflakes. Filling the bowl with milk, I added the cornflakes in it and topped it with a little of chocolate syrup. My mouth was already watering. Just as I began eating it, I paralyzed with the spoon hanging before my widely opened mouth. My eyes had landed on Dad standing outside the kitchen with a frown on his face.

"R-Richard..." I started to say, completely embarrassed to have been caught eating cornflakes at 4 in the evening. My cheeks heated up as I started to curse myself. Now he would think that I'm that reckless girl he mentioned earlier and that I don't have any manners.

God, what have I done?!

Dad came inside and placed his hands on the dining table, having a clear picture of my cornflakes. "Uh... I-I'm sorry. I was just.." hungry. I was hungry.

"You lied. You told me you weren't hungry. Who taught you to lie like that, huh?" Dragging the chair opposite mine, he sat there still shooting his glare at me. My eyes found their way down towards the floor and it the most safest thing to rely to. I didn't know how was I supposed to answer such type of question.

"Why did you not eat? Did you add something in that fucking pasta?" He implied, his jaw clenched.

"No! No, Richard! Why would I add something in it? I didn't even prepare that I swear. You are my Da- no, I promise there was nothing in it," I concluded, trying my best to make him believe me.

"Then? If you were hungry then why was there that bowl of pasta in my room? Why was it not you who were eating it?" His eyes squinted and I tried to come up with something.

"I had it too. There was p-lenty of that in the kitch-"

"Who taught you to lie like that? Do you really think I'll believe that crap? You are naive, I am not." He alleged and I found myself nodding at him.

"I thought that-that I should give it to you. B-because you were really hungry. And Mom wouldn't l-let you have something else. I reckoned, you'd me upset and so I tried to.... I'm sorry Richard, I lied to you. I- I shouldn't have done that. I really apologize."

"But I'm happy, you ate it," a smile automatically formed on my face as I said.

Dad chuckled, "do you really think I ate that? That went into the toilet!" He revealed getting my heart to beat faster in sadness. A lump formed in my throat and I swallowed it as it blinked back those tears which were fighting to come out of my eyes. Knowing that I sacrificed my food for nothing didn't hurt. What hurt was the fact that my sacrifice wasn't worth winning my Dads stone heart.

Giving him a single nod, I began playing with my spoon. All the hunger I felt earlier was gone. Gone was my craving for the syrup I added on top of it. As if Dad had fed me with a bowl full of hurt.

Being aware of the fact that Dad was still there, I couldn't stand up and walk away. It would seem rude and realizing this, I remained seated on my chair with my hair hiding my face. "So, you're eating now? At 4?"

"I-I was hungry..." I answered after a game of battles between me and my brain, searching for a suitable answer.

"All I see is you playing with your spoon," he shrugged his shoulder. I was lost on how to reply to him. "Will you eat a little faster? I can't believe Vic gave birth to such a lazy ass," his statement caused me to look up at him in horror. Taking out his cell phone from his pocket he became engaged in it and I couldn't help but stare at him. A drop of tear escaped my eye but I felt it hanging on my eye lashes. "Hello? You are no princess. Stuff your mouth faster and leave me alone!"

"O-Okay, Richard." My lips quivered and I was glad he didn't catch it. My cracked voice wasn't so obvious to him as his eyes never left the screen and just as I left the kitchen I felt him standing up.

Before I could climb upstairs I peeped into the kitchen and found him searching for something in the cabinets. Dad went towards the fridge and looked around inside. Then it struck me. If he had thrown the pasta into the toilet then he might be dying of hunger.

My first instinct was to go to my room without doing anything about it. Man, it did hurt when he told me he threw the food I sacrificed for him. And even the thought of him rejecting my help got me more upset. But my feet wouldn't move. They wouldn't take me up and were convinced on staying there.

A voice in my brain shouted at me, he is your Dad!

Thinking of how could I help him, I made my way inside again. Dad, sensing a presence behind him, turned around with an apple in his hand. "Can I help?" I Volunteered, fishing in the cupboards for some snack. Before Dad could come up with hurtful reply, I continued, "whenever there's fish, Stella makes something else for me. If she knew you didn't like it she would've made it for you too. But now I'm going to help you find something to eat."

My eyes laid on a Nutella jar inside the transparent cabinet. Grabbing hold of the bread slices and peanut butter, I brought them along with the Nutella towards the table. "You think I'll eat this? Are you out of your mind, Stephanie?" Dad stood up from his chair. I didn't correct him. I decided to let him call me whatever he wanted. If not that day, then, some other day with the passage of time, he'll learn my name. And I was to make sure of it.

"You'll love it. Have you ever tasted Nutella? Come on Richard, just taste it," with this I began spreading Nutella on the bread. On the other one I spread peanut butter and kept it on the chocolate covered slice.

Pushing the plate I sent it towards the opposite side of the table. Dad, surprisingly took his seat and examined the sandwich. After what felt like centuries he tasted it and then the absolute miracle happened. Dad smiled, just for a second but I was able to catch it.

A smile formed on my face knowing that it was not long before I'll impress Dad. "It was fine... but is there anymore bread?"

I nodded and strayed functioning to make another sandwich for my Dad.

*****

The next morning I was late to school. The car broke down in middle class of the way to school. As I entered in the school I found complete silence which meant one thing; that I was indeed extra late. I had to go through the whole 'going to reception for reporting the late arrival' thing. After that, to bring my books to the class, I made my way to the locker room.

There stood Carter talking to Jack with his back facing me. I wanted to turn away from there but Jack had already seen me and going away from there meant showing my weakness and that I actually still cared when I didn't want to. That the men with his back facing me still affected me. And Jack, the man that had witnessed my presence still made my heart ache for what he had done to me.

Jack had obviously let Carter known about my arrival after which he left the room. I went towards my locker and started to take out my books and stationery. "Hi!" Carter initiated, making me hear his refreshing voice. I knew better than to start a conversation with him so I remained silent, trying to ignore his being around me. He walked nearer and I made my hands work faster so that I could escape whatever Carter was planning to pull over me.

Without waiting for him I turned around and started to walk away but he stopped me by grabbing my waist and dragging me back to him. "Hey, hey, hey!" With force, he twisted my body around so that I was facing him.

"Carter, let me go."

"I won't. Because this is the only time we can talk. I do not want to bring all of this up in lunch or after school to create drama. I want privacy. Can not we talk like civil people?" He said, his tone lined with irritation.

"We don't have anything to talk about!"

"Just why are you doing all of this?! Logically, I should be the one to not talk to you. You cheated on me. And really, Sophia? Isaac? I thought you were just friends with him. How innocent I thought you were! I was wrong in judging you."

"And still you have the audacity to be this silly stupid stubborn girl you are being! I should be the one angry at you. You promised me to not harm yourself again but you did! I should be angry because you almost died!" His tone became softer after each word he said.

"You don't know how much you mean to me! And if you had died, I wouldn't have been able to forgive myself, Sparkle," Carter came closer to me, his scent engulfing my.

"Really? Well, Carter, you can't fool me again. And you don't dare remind me about the promise! You were the one who asked me to leave! You don't care. If I meant so much to you, where were you all those days when I was in the hospital? I meant so much to you that you even forgot to check if I was alive or dead. Wow!" I tried to push him but his hold was tight.

"Sophie stop with this attitude! Okay, I was wrong! I sided with Maddie, Jack and all those who were against you. But can you blame me? They showed me how much engrossed you were in that heated make out session you had with Isaac. How do you expect me to react when I see you making out with someone I hate with everything in me? And that too just after the day I took you to a date. I thought you were happy with me. Sophia you cheated. And you expected me to side you-"

"For god's sake Carter! You are to blame here! I did not kiss anyone! That's the thing! You don't trust me. You could've asked me about it before putting up that damn drama in the school. Before making a fool of me in this school. Carter, you have always done that! But what hurt me was that I thought you had changed. Congratulations! You succeeded in breaking me again. The act you played with me was marvellous!"

"Isaac was the one who kissed me that morning. And I was taken aback by the kiss. He is nothing to me Carter! I fucking hate him! And you should've known if you had asked me! But if you'd have done that, your plan wouldn't have been successful!" I continued.

"I do not want anything from you anymore and neither am I going to be fooled again. So stop with this act you're putting up and do whatever you want. Bully me, hit me, slap me, lock me in the janitor's, beat me." All Carter did was stare at me while I ranted.

"Sparkle..."

"Carter, just leave me alone! I've to go!" By then his hold on my waist had become loose and I pushed his chest as I started to walk towards my class.

The day passed pretty boring. Lia and I had different classes today. In lunch Lia engulfed me in a bone crashing hug she had promised to give me after we talked on the phone last night. She knew all about my parents and the Josh story.

Most of my classes included Carter in them. And just by looking the sight of his face the events of the morning rushed back to me. And I ended up loosing focus on whatever I was doing.

Though I didn't want to see Carter at all and I avoided his presence but when I didn't see him in arts my heart swelled and different kinds of emotions ran through my body. I knew he was trying to fool me again with his act but deep inside I wanted him to continue this act all his life. To care, even if it wasn't real, to love me back, even if it wasn't real. I wanted to see him propitiate me, just apologize for once.

Carter had become a huge part of my life in some months. He and his many sides were what I'd grown to in all those days. The scary, monstrous, snake that he becomes when he's furious. I have even started to admire this snake I used to hate. It showed his manliness, his power, his authority. The sweet, caring part of him that I've grown to love. And the cute, player kind of attitude he has when he's in a good mood.

I knew all those fantasies were going to be crushed after the senior year gets over. I doubted I'd ever see any of the students here. I'd applied to universities far from New York and there was nothing here to pull me to stay. Not yet. So I had decided to study in a good institution for my better future.

I stared at the white paper in front of me and realized that between all those thoughts I couldn't make a single thing. Initially I started to make a flower but remembering that last time I had made the same thing, I stopped. I couldn't even come up with any idea when the teacher announced that the Unit had ended and I packed my stuff.

As I went out of the class I checked out for the driver but he wasn't there yet. Keeping my stuff inside the locker I waited for Lia outside the school. She had to go home early and so she was rushing. After hugging me, she went home.

I saw Jack appearing close to me just as Lia exited the school. Though I showed him that I wasn't scared but inside I was scared to face him. "Sophia, I'm not asking anything else but one thing. Give him a chance. Give a Chance to Carter... please."

I had expected Jack to talk to me, warn me, say mean things to me. But what he said was simple and to the point. "And one more thing... I'm sorry. I'm sorry for real this time. I swear upon my double cheesy, chilly flake pizza with extra sauce and toppings. I also swear upon my chocolate chip cookies."

I couldn't believe my ears. Flabbergasted, I nodded, trying to make him believe that I had listened to the apology. Jack did not stay long after he had showered me with his apology.

With folded arms I began tapping my feet on the ground when my eyes landed on a small puppy standing before me. It was a brown one with long fluffy hanging hair covering his skin.

"Hey, you cute little thing. Who left you here?" I bent down and picked it up but it struggled it's way out of my hold. It began pulling my pants. "Ah, shh, bad puppy," I straightened my clothes, glaring at the dog. My glare couldn't last longer when that cute creature was staring at me with such persuasive eyes.

What did it need?

"Hey, are you hungry? Do you need food?" With this, I took out a biscuit from my bag and placed it before it but not only did the puppy refused to have it but shook it's head too. Instead of taking the biscuit it started with pulling my pants again. I noticed that the puppy wanted to show me something. After checking one last time for my driver I walked after the dog.

Following it had brought me to a park where it stopped. Gesturing towards the green grass it tried to express something but I couldn't get it. It started sniffing the ground and I couldn't be anymore confused. I had never had an animal and it was difficult to understand what it was trying to communicate. But the sudden urge to help the poor thing was what had brought me to the garden.

I was about to leave the dog there as I began saying my goodbyes to it when a shiny substance caught my eye. I picked it up. "Oh, you need to eat a chocolate? Aww, here, have it!" After opening the wrapper of the Hershey's kisses I had found on the ground I presented it to the puppy but he refused to have it.

"Boy, what do you need then?" I plopped the chocolate into my mouth and looked at the dog who had started walking again.

It was going ahead and I caught up with him when he stopped again at a position and continued with his sniffing. There was another chocolate placed there and I ate that one too. "You're just increasing my sugar level cutie!" I said and ran after the puppy getting many of the kisses chocolates to eat on the way. "Listen, whoever told you there are these chocolates here?" I picked up the fluffy ball again, not being able to run after it anymore. "You're going to drag the both of us into a huge swimming pool of trouble, you know that?" My hold was of no use as the puppy escaped again and sniffed the ground under my feet. Looking down I found, there laid another kisses chocolate.

Had someone really dropped it here by mistake or were they all set up for someone. Realizing, this, I started to feel utterly embarrassed. Because I had eaten all those chocolates. I looked at my surroundings to locate the puppy but I couldn't find it. You left me to face the trouble alone!

I made my way ahead and there were lined one after another many kisses. I picked them up and collected those in my hands. And I hadn't realized when there were no kisses on the ground anymore. As I looked up my eyes bulged out of there sockets. I saw glittery letters hanging on the branch of a huge tree. "Oh My Lord Jesus...." I uttered with my dried throats and a wide mouth. The sight in front of me left me dazed. The view had taken my breath away. Completely flabbergasted, I read it twice, thrice and a hundred times. But each time I read it there was the same amazement, astonishment and speechlessness.

*****

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