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"Sophie," a soft, sweet, affectionate voice woke me up from my sleep. I felt Rebecca gently patting my arms. "Come on, lets have breakfast." I opened my eyes but just as the sunlight began poking it's insides, I buried my head inside the blanket, shutting them back. "Mom and Dad are waiting for you at the table." That sentence acted as a spring and I sat up in a second when my mind registered what Rebecca's words meant.

"Mom? Dad? They're still here?" I found myself asking with wide eyes. Eagerly waiting for her answer, I began praying. I wanted them here, to care about me and at the same time I didn't want that. Because awkward can't even define how I felt when they were around. With a wide grin on her face, she nodded as she removed the blanket from above me, sending chills throughout my body.

I groaned, getting up from the bed. I knew I couldn't go this way downstairs when my parents are there so I braced myself to bath. "There's no need to bath, Sophie. Just make sure you look presentable," Rebecca said, sensing my thoughts.

"Define presentable..." I trailed stretching my body.

"Look good, neat and not objectionable. You're wise enough to dress yourself that way. I know," she nodded in encouragement as she answered my question with a smile and headed out.

I brushed my teeth and washed my face. A lot of energy was needed to change into new clothes, and I didn't had that much of it. But that didn't stop me from changing into a presentable attire because at that moment nothing else mattered to me except for my impression on my parents.

When I got out of the washroom, without wasting a single minute I tied my hair in a side braid and pinned all the unnecessary hair that hung out, back. It was correct to say that I looked presentable. At least that was what I thought.

My wobbly feet brought me to the dining room which was lighted up properly unlike the past years. In fact all the places I passed were sparkling like never before. All the antiques, showpieces, frames and decorations were maintained perfectly. It felt like all the lights had returned to the house. The home which wasn't warm, which wasn't so homey felt like a home. It wasn't because of the decorations and lights, it was because of people. All the servants were pacing here and there inside the house and I couldn't help but smile at the fact that all of us were trying to impress the King and the Queen, including me.

We never ate there–in the dining room. The small dining table in the kitchen was enough for Josh, Rebecca and me. I adjusted my glasses on my nose as I walked inside the room, sliding the transparent door slowly. "-that's the plan Vic and it's easy as fu-" my Dad was saying something when he was interrupted by Mom's cough.

I stood at the entrance as I stared straight at my father. My father. The person who was supposed to protect me from world. The person who was supposed to check up on my friends. Who was supposed to be my hero. I wanted, just once to be in his arms, I wanted a chance to talk to him, explain him that it's not my fault if I'm unlucky.

Most of all I wanted him to say my name with affection. Just for once I wanted him to accept that I was a part of him. That I was his daughter, his own blood. I, like every other girl wanted someone who I could call my Dad; my best friend. I blinked back tears and greeted them with a wide smile. "G-good morning," I managed to vocalize. But I got no smile in return, I got no greetings back.

All my father did was hide his face behind the newspaper, taking occasional sips from his juice-filled glass. Not to make the moment anymore awkward, I walked towards the dining and after a long session of fighting mental battles I pulled the chair beside my Dad. But before I could place myself on the chair, my Dad held up his hand, restricting me from sitting there.

I gulped, nodding understandingly slightly as I walked two chairs back. Standing behind it I lowered my head towards Dad's, silently asking if he was okay with me sitting this close to him. Actually, this far from him. He gave me a single nod; an indication to sit. As I stared at the things laying on the table, I felt like it was a feast because never in all those years we ate together. I did eat with Rebecca and Josh but the crockery was never as shiny as that one. The breakfast either was cornflakes or boiled egg or apple or mostly nothing at all.

But that day, I saw beacon, waffles, eggs, toasts, fruits, yogurt, cornflakes, donuts, beagles and four kinds of juices. To say the truth at that time I wanted to taste a bit of everything, but knowing my parents, I couldn't. I looked up towards my parents' plates. Mom's plate had a boiled egg in it and beside it was a small bowl of flavoured yogurt. Mom reached out for her glass of orange juice and drank from it. I turn my gaze to Dad's almost empty plate where sat small piece of bread with honey on top of it. A cup of tea was what he was drinking from, while reading the news paper.

"So how is your health, Sapphire?" My father's voice rang around the silent room. And suddenly all of my happiness drained away. All of my appetite was gone. All I felt like doing was to go and hide in some corner. As good as the half of Dad's sentence sounded the other half was as bad. I heard that Dad was the one who named me when I was born but what just happened broke me. Tears welled up inside my eyes, threatening to spill, but I tried to keep them at bay.

"Yeah, how's your health, Sophia?" My Mom followed, stressing on my name as if reminding my Dad about it.

I gulped and blinked back my tears. "Uh, um, I'm better." My voice came out cracked but my parents were too busy eye communicating that they didn't notice it. My empty plate was making my face visible to me.

Why is it that the people who brought me in this world hate me the most?!

"You aren't eating." Mom shrugged, her eyes glancing at my plate then up at me.

"I think I'll skip breakfast today," I tried to sound cool as I stood up from the chair, dragging it back to its place and made my way out the dining room.

My life will forever be the same, but I won't cry. Because I have to be immune to hurt, pain, hatred after having faced them all my life. I must be, I should be immune, because there's more of it coming. And it's never going to end.

*****

School. That word sent chills throughout my body. School seemed like a nightmare to me after all that had happened. As much as I was missing it I didn't want to go there and face whatever was waiting for me.

I was sure I'd receive nothing but more mockery and bullying. They'll have another reason to bully me, another reason to mock me, tease me about. It couldn't be a possibility that no one knows. Because my absence had made it sure that I had attempted suicide. The teachers also might've told them about my condition and that's what scared me the most.

Most of all, Carter was going to be there. The person who played me, who told me to leave. In no condition I could face him after what had happened the other day. And being the idiot I was, thinking that was my last day, I confessed my feelings to him.

Yeah, either it was that my brain had stopped functioning or the poison had a huge impact on it and my ability to think had completely came to an end.

What concerned me more was that how will carter react when he sees me. Will he ignore me completely like he had been doing in the past days or he'll be the same old Carter who pleasured in bullying me. Or maybe he can be his sweet, cute, caring self. I doubt it highly though.

But no matter how Carter reacts, I don't give a shit about it and neither am I ever going to. I told him I loved him, I embarrassed my self, and he started ignoring me–end of the fucking story. It's not every time that a girl falls for a guy who surprisingly returns her feelings and both of them fall in love at the same time at the same moment. Life is not a story book. It's not a freaking novel where everything goes fine and just according to the character's will.

I was strong now and I had started facing the reality. Whatever life I had left with me, I had to spend. So better spend it happily, fighting for myself, with confidence, make people respect me instead of being beaten up everyday followed by me hiding in a corner like a sissy and later committing suicide.

I had realized that suicide wasn't the solution and what actually could solve my problems was my attitude. People at school bullied me because I let them, because let's face it, I was week and helpless. But it was no more. The old Sophie was gone and wasn't planning on returning soon.

Just wait you bullies!

With strongly built determination to fight, I entered in the school. I sighed as I stared at the sea of people who were extremely busy in chitchatting earlier, suddenly turned to fix their dangerous, creepy gazes on me. Under their eyes I made my way inside the building trying to remain calm and collected.

In my way I caught Maddie talking to her minions, her bald head was now covered with a wig. She might've realized how big of a fool she looked that way. "Oooh, look who just got here! Guys, see depressed doll is here! Tell us, how do you feel right now? Do you still want to die? By the way, if you'd have died half of the unluckiness of this world would've died with you." Ignoring her, I started to walk but she blocked my way. "Why don't you try therapy? You know, those who have some mental issues.... it works for them."

I expected the whole school, gathered around us to laugh but what got me completely flabbergasted was the fact that only a couple of people laughed while many others didn't. That encouraged me to the limits that I prepared myself for answering her back.

Remaining in my unflappable character, I answered her, "no, I don't want to die, because no matter how bad is it, I still value my life. And I've aims unlike you who's sole wish is to become a queen so that you can rule the world. But guess what? That will never happen!" I had no idea, how I was coming up with such a speech but whatever came out of my mouth was nothing but the truth.

"What girls like you know perfectly, is how to act like a bitch and walk upon the people who you don't like." I knew very well that people around us were amazed by this new attitude of mine and this was the perfect time to show them, what actually Sophia is.

"What do you mean by girls like me?!" Maddie gasped, her eyes going wide as she looked taken aback by my sudden urge to fight.

"I won't say you're a slut, because you're a fucking whore and with this caked face of yours you think you'll get all the guys dying for you! You're just a bald characterless human and you think guys are crazy for you?!" I shot back.

"Well, newsflash! Those who throw themselves at you aren't the ones with a right working mind. Either they have the same IQ as you or they've sold their brains," I continued. "And-"

"And you're crazy for anything that has a dick!" Lia'a voice echoed around the hall followed by a huge laughter. Even her minions by her side erupted into fits and she could do nothing but blush in embarrassment.

"I want to live, so that people like you don't win!" I ended, turning around as I made my way towards the locker. "And, one last thing– before talking to me this way, ever again, think hundred times."

"You'll pay for it bitch! You'll pay for it! Don't you think you can say all that to me and go away just like that! You fucking-" without hearing her completely both, me and Lia bursted out laughing as we stepped into the locker room.

"OMG that was awesome Sophia! I'm so proud of you!" Lia engulfed me in a bone crashing hug and we stumbled back as we hit the locker. She pulled back, a small chuckle escaping her lips. "So what was all of that? How's the sudden change in you?"

"Sometimes you just have to throw a crown on and remind them who they're dealing with." I shrugged as I answered her, trying to smirk. Lia laughed a little and held up her hand. "What are you doing Amelia?" I squinted my eyes at her.

"That means high five, you idiot!" She stated and I nodded, comprehending as I 'high fived' her back. "How are you feeling now? How're your parents?"

Her words reminded me of this very morning. I didn't have it in me to tell her that my own so called Dad didn't even remember my name. I felt like laughing at how stupid that sounded. I doubted there are any Dads like mine in the planet. "I'm great! Just, my throats hurts a little and the occasional coughs. Other than that everything is fine." I continued, "and my parents are, like usual, distant." Listening to my answer she patted my back as if consoling me.

For a minute there was complete silence before I started, "so, where did you come up with that hilarious 'anything with a dic-peni-whatever' thing, Lia?" I questioned, still laughing at how funny that sounded.

"I read it somewhere and it couldn't be more fitting to any other situation than this. I mean, she is that way. Looking out for things with dicks," she let out in between her laughter when the bell rang indicating the start of the maths class.

I had my books with me so I didn't need to open my locker and so I waited for Lia. As soon as she was done, we made our way towards the class. At first, my feet took me towards the back seats but then I remembered that it was enough of not being myself. I was Sophia the nerd and I sat at the front row with a bunch fools and idiots. That was my place. I realized that it was time I come back to what I was. What I used to be before this fantasy started, before I forgot my actual place. Before Carter came to my life.

The thought of that particular person increased my heartbeats as I clutched my books tighter and clenched my teeth. I figured out that I was standing in the middle, blocking people's way when my ears registered someone clearing their throat.

I gestured to Lia that I was sitting at the front where I belonged and started to walk that way behind me. It didn't take longer that a second for her to be beside me. I replied to my old neighbour, Alex with a smile when he greeted me with one. "How are you feeling Sophia?" Alex asked in his hesitant tone. To say people asking me constantly about my health was not irritating, would be an utter lie because hell yes, it was!

I still smiled at him, not wanting to brush him off like that I answered, "I'm great! How are you?"

"Good," he replied as he started scribbling things on his notebook. Alex was never the one to talk and I was happy with how he was. Waiting for the teacher, I too opened my books to the next topic we were about to study.

I was lucky to have been exempted from giving all the tests. The only necessary subjects that I needed to give the exams for were Mathematics, English, Chemistry and Biology. I tried to make sense of the questions that I had missed earlier when I was at the hospital while looking at the examples given at the start of the chapter. But sadly I couldn't make any sense of the things written there.

I didn't notice the teacher entering till I felt someone tapping my head. "How are you Sophia? I heard about what happened..." Mr. Miller's voice was slow and cautious. It was sympathetic and pitiful, least to say.

I managed to smile at him when it was the hardest thing to do, knowing that all the teachers knew about me. "I'm... better Sir. Thanks for asking." He nodded at my reply and turned towards the board.

"Isaac, explain Sophia the topics she'd missed," Mr. Miller twisted his head towards the other corner of the middle row where I was afraid to look at. Before Isaac could reply him, I decided to do it because there was no way I was even looking at Isaac.

"It's okay teacher. I'll do it myself. I don't need help." I smiled at him, trying to not look rude and he raised his eyebrows at me. I nodded assuring him that I was really okay. Taking my seat back, I started jotting down the lecture trying to ignore Isaac who was sitting behind me. I could feel his eyes burning holes in my head but I brushed off the feeling.

That's when the door burst opened and it was time for the traditional entry that I was running away from inside my mind.

Carter.

I could tell that he was here without even glancing at him. Having no strength to look at him, I kept my eyes fixed on the empty pages of my copy. I felt him stop at the door and later walking at the back seats– where he belonged.

It was just his presence that got me so heated. My fingers froze and so did my mind. All I could focus on were the possibilities of Carter still caring. No matter how much I said, that I won't care about Carter, I still did. And that wasn't intentional. I didn't want to feel that way. I wanted to forget him, to forget I ever had feeling for him, to forget all the times we spent together, to forget my first ever date, my first ever kiss, my first love.

But I couldn't. It was like those memories were printed inside my head and no matter how much I wanted to erase them, my heart kept them from erasing. Even if I had succeeded in removing them from my mind they were still imprinted on my heart. The heart that never listens to me and which wasn't in my control.

If you think I was able to focus on anything the teacher said, then let me correct this misconception because not a single word he said went through my head. The reason was that my brain was occupied by thoughts that weren't to be brought in a maths class but it still were there; invading my brain.

I was so busy in my thoughts that I didn't notice my teacher leaving. "Sophie," I felt someone tapping my shoulder and to look at them I twisted my neck around. As soon as I did that I wished I hadn't done it. Because Isaac face popped up in front of me and all I did was blink at him.

"Can I talk to you?"

I was opening my mouth to refuse when he spoke again, "please, I promise it'll take only five minutes. Please, just once?" I had no idea how to refuse to such a polite request and the tone his voice held was melting me. Before I could agree with him Lia grabbed the hold of my palm.

"No Isaac, she won't. Now get lost." She was fast to answer him. Isaac's jaw clenched as he stared at my friend, anger rising in his dangerous eyes.