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Just as I opened my eyes, they met with the most beautiful thing of nature; flowers. There laid a small bunch of flowers beside me on the same bed I woke up on. The daisies looked fresh. I small card was stuck there in between the breathtaking flowers that said, 'get well soon'. The words were simple but it did made me break into a small smile. I stared at those pure white petals for a moment before I was distracted by a sight of a small butterfly that sparkled from somewhere in middle of the blossoming plants, capturing my attention.

It was pink in colour with purple glitter decorating it's beautiful wings. I couldn't help but take it into my hands, as I traced my fingers along its surface, admiring it. If I wasn't smiling widely, then, it was that moment my lips couldn't be curved anymore.

"Hey!"

I raised my head above to look at the door. There stood Josh, half of his head inside the room and rest of his body outside. "Josh," I called out for him as I waved, shifting my position to sit up on the bed.

He walked over to me, inspecting from far, what I was holding in my hands. "That's a butterfly!" He exclaimed.

Lightly, I laughed. "Yeah, look it's so pretty," I held out the toy for Josh and he grabbed it out of my hands.

"Who gave it to you?" He enquired, his eyebrows rising up. "Mom?" He suggested.

"Mom? Why would you think she'd give a gift to me. She hates me. Not even a slightest chance is there that this is by Mom." I glanced at the flowers and the butterfly. "No, it can't be from her." I shook my head, denying his suggestion again.

"But you don't know Sophie. She was here even before me and she has been acting weird around me and Dad." He wrapped his hands inside my blanket, scooting closer.

"Umm, really? Is she here right now?" I found myself questioning my brother and before he even answered, I started to pull my shirt back and straighten my messed up hair because I knew that was how Mom liked. That day when she tried to feed me all that happened, was my clothes getting stained.

It might be because of her shaking hands or the extra-cautiousness she demonstrated for her own extravagant, costly clothes and her brand new designer bag. Or because she was sitting at a miles distance from me. Like I'd transfer all my bad luck to her just by a mere touch.

But as I thought about it my heart swelled out of happiness. It was the first time ever she had fed me and there was no way in hell I was going to forget about it. But, It was still unclear to me what had caused the definite miracle. What had changed her thinking about me - if it really had changed.

Josh came closer and whispered inside my ear, "she was sitting outside, talking to someone on her phone, when I entered inside."

"And she didn't stop you?" I whispered back not believing what he told me earlier.

"No. I told you she's been weird."

"Is she aware of the actual cause I'm here?"

"Yeah, she is. Even Dad is."

"Oh," at the name of my Dad my eyes started to water. I hadn't seen him for about a decade. I had almost forgotten about his facial features until that day when he held Josh in his hands, ready to leave. Even then I couldn't see him properly because of his hurry to leave.

"Oh, the little slut is here."

My mind went back to the day that all happened. "How is Dad, Josh?"

"He is fine, busy, like always. But he has some great anger issues. All I did was ask him to take me back to New York and he started yelling at me." He pouted. "I don't like him."

"No, Josh. Don't say that. At least he loves you and cares about you. At least he takes you out on dinners and trips. At least he brings you to his family gatherings. At least he considers you his son," I tell him, trying to blink back the tears.

"But he doesn't let me stay with you."

I hugged Josh, knowing that he was with me, not more than a day or two before my parents take him away. He hugged me back with the same intensity. "I missed you Sophie. A-and I was scared at night but you weren't there to hold me. And when I woke up in the morning, I wasn't at home."

"I would have been there if I had the choice, Josh." He hugged me even tighter, the butterfly in his hand poking my back.

"I hope you aren't crying brother. Don't you dare cry. You know the monsters would think I hit you or something," he pulled back as he giggled lightly. That's when I gasped.

"Another teeth?" I asked.

"Yeah. It was so irritating I pulled it out on our flight to New York." He showed his teeth or the place where the teeth was supposed to be, opening his mouth wide.

"How did you manage to do that, Josh?" I could bet my eyes were wide as tunnels. "Did it not... hurt?"

"No. It was fun. And it was easy." His smile was wide, showing how proud he felt of himself. "And I also had to tell Nina about this. But Mom wouldn't let me go to school."

"Nina?" I wiggled my eyebrows. " I thought Frank was your best friend?" My teasing tone caused his cheeks to blush pink as he stared at the carpeted floor.

"A...a I forgot to mention him. And he is my best friend. I just... I forgot." That got me bursting into laughter. Josh's hands continuously hit me on the arm while I kept on laughing. "Aah- hahaha-ouch-oww-hahahaha!"

Someone clearing their throat interrupted us. "How are you feeling? Umm... I mean how's your health?" My Mother's voice was unsure and hesitant. Like she's been forced to ask me about my health. I straightened myself and meet her uncomfortable gaze. The movement of her fingers didn't go unnoticed by me. Plastering a smile on my face, I nodded, "I'm feeling better."

"That's good. Come on Josh, we need to go." Hearing her voice, Josh retreated his hands away from me and looked at me his eyes saying a silent sorry to me as he walked towards Mom. Not before landing the butterfly he had held earlier in my lap.

I didn't had it in me to question my mother but I still did. Just before they exited the room I started, "umm, Victoria?" She turned her head towards me, looking a little lost. Like she wanted to say something but she couldn't. "Is... Josh going... back? I mean out of New York?"

"Yes." Her tone was hard enough for me to regret questioning her. Josh's eyes stayed glued to me, silently asking me to stop him from going but I knew well, I could do that at no cost.

But that didn't stop me from asking her again. "Can I... hug him once? Please M-Victoria?" My tone was soft and pleading but I wasn't sure about her answer. Because she stared between the both of us for more than a minute and opened her mouth to speak. She closed it again, as if thinking of what to say.

"Yes.." the smile I saw on Josh's face was worth the courage I built up to ask Mom. But just as Josh started to walk towards me she blocked his way. "But, its getting late, so.... I think we should go." With that said, she held Josh's hand and dragged him outside.

I saw them move out and my eyes trail towards the window where Josh waved at me, his lip quivering. I waved back giving him a flying kiss. He was dragged away and out of my sight before he could blow one at me.

A single tear left my eye as I looked around. I rested my head on the pillow and sighed, getting a hold of my emotions. I reached out for the butterfly, bringing it up to my face. I had a perfect idea who that might be from but I didn't want to believe it.

I didn't want the possibility of Carter being here true. I was angry at him, for doing what he did. For bullying me yet again. Angry at him for breaking into my room and bringing me to the hospital. Because I could've easily died if he had not interfered. I was furious because it was his presence that made feel special. That made me fall in love, that made me confess.

Oh God!

I rubbed my hands on my face, huffing out loud. How stupid was I to admit to him that I love him...? How stupid was I to believe that I'd die? And that I'd not have to deal with this when I wake up on the hospital bed? How can I be so certain about my death?

I had actually admitted to him that I love him.

And, my heart skipped a beat whenever that thought crossed my mind. No matter how much I had tried to keep this topic out of my head, it kept rushing back to me. The clingy topic that I had tried to avoid since I woke up was doing nothing but twisting my brain. And those flowers resting peacefully beside me weren't helping either. All they did was confuse me.

I was angry at Carter. For what he did. He left me when I needed him, he ignored me and took part in the bullying. He wasn't happy to see me. He himself told me to go away. Then he had the audacity to bring me to the hospital! But deep down I knew I was still drawn to him. My heart still accepted him as a loved one. I still thought about him, when all he has done to me. It was like I wanted to block my mind from his thoughts but my heart always acted as a barrier.

"Aye, listen you butterfly! Who dropped you here?" I asked, my eyes trained on the toy In my lap. "If it was Carter...," I whispered, "then where is he now?!" I raised my voice. "Where is he?"

"But actually it's a good thing he isn't here right now. I don't have the ability to face him after what stupid thing I've done."

"He would be thinking of how idiotic I am to say such a thing to him. He would think- I mean have you ever seen him? And me?" I chuckled lightly. "How could I ever think of such a possibility."

"I cannot love anyone. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve to be loved, nor do I deserve to love someone. No I don't. Fuck Carter, fuck everyone, fuck everything, fuck these flowers, fuck you! Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!" I cried out loud holding my head in my hands as I let out all my tears.

"I don't even know if it's from Carter. Why would he...he send these to me and just... disappear? Why would he send these in the first place. He's supposed to be weirded out by me. And I'm damn sure he is!"

"I don't want anyone! I don't want Carter. I don't need anyone! I'm fine with my... with my.... I'm fine just with myself! I'm fine!"

And I knew one thing damn sure, that it was the last time I was crying. That was the last time I was being weak. I was showing how vulnerable I am. That was the last time I was shedding tears for others. I knew that and that was why I did it without any hesitation. I did it with full force. I cried without caring about what anyone out there would've thought about me.

*****

"Please, Sophia? Just a little?" Lia forced the spoon of pudding inside my mouth.

"I hate hospital food!"

"You hate hospital food, but you still like to visit this place very often. That's strange. Don't you think?" She raised her eyebrows shoving another spoon inside my mouth.

"Shut up Lia! And throw this thing away or I'll do the deed."

"It couldn't be that bad. You know what? I always wanted to taste hospital food but I never got a chance to. Can I eat the rest of it?" Just as I opened my mouth to answer, she kept the spoon in her mouth. "Of course I can! Why am I even asking you?" She giggled, swallowing the bite of pudding she just tasted.

I waited for a loud, 'yuck!' but it never came. "It's great! Value food, you know I read about a girl who didn't value food and everything was.." Lia started her story but I couldn't focus on it. My mind drifted back to the thought of future.

I thought of how was school going to be after such an incident. Did people know? Were they going to tease me about it or were they planning to change? Carter... how would he react? Isaac... how will he react.

I felt a poke on my arm and I looked up to find Lia standing above. "Who gifted this?" My eyes traveled to her palms where laid the butterfly.

"Ah, about this... I don't really know. It was there with those daisies when I woke up."

"I think I have an idea who these might've been from. What do you think?"

All I know is that, my heart and my mind aren't on the same page.

"Sophie?"

I blinked at her. "I've no idea. Who do you think have sent these?"

"Carter."

At her words I wanted to smile, to jump, to cry out loud, to shout, to slap myself, to slap Carter, to slap Lia for saying that, to pull my hair, to drown in a sea, in short many things but I couldn't do any one of those. So I tried to not show any emotions on my face.

"You look constipated." Lia commented on my facial expression, completely insulting my attempts of trying to block emotions from showing. Looking at my face expressions she started, "Carter had been here every morning, discussing your health with the doctors and staying by your side. Until your-"

"How long was I unconscious?" I cut her off.

"Five days." A choked as I registered the number of days I had been out.

"And Carter had been sitting right there all those days. That's when your rich Mom came into the picture. They're right when they say that money can buy anything. And there you were, all healthy when doctors started their magic. I didn't see Carter in the hospital when you woke up. And not after that."

There were two things that hooked themselves inside my brain.

1) Carter had been right there, with me, all those five days.

2) Mom had talked to the doctors about my health.

That meant only one thing; they both cared.

"And I'm damn sure these are from Carter. He was at school late-"

"He's always late, Lia." I stated.

"But there's a ninety percent chance it was him. What I don't understand is why he wouldn't meet you in person." Her fingers played with the wings of the butterfly.

"Exactly!" I uttered as I rested my head on the pillow. Lia came forward and sat beside me after grabbing the daisies.

"He brought flowers like these the other day too," her voice was soft and convincing. I was understanding a little of the situation. Carter considered me his friend, and so he was sending me flowers and get well soon greetings but because of what I confessed to him he might've been weirded out. So showing in front of me wouldn't have seemed as the best of ideas to him.

Why the hell did I say those three words? They have ruined my friendship with Carter!

Even Lia seemed a little distant and I had no idea what have I done that day to cause all of that.

"Lia, what happened?" I found myself questioning her, my voice coming low, the events of that day running inside my head.

"Huh?" She looked up from the flowers, her eyes glistening, as if she was keeping herself from crying.

"What happened that day, Lia?" I repeated myself. It was enough for her to understand what I was referring to.

"Sophie,"

"that day, it was a free unit and I couldn't find you, I was walking towards your locker to locate you but there was Maddie standing talking to her friends, showing something in her phone."

"And I heard it. She talked about you being a bitch and stuff. So as you know I would, I went to defend you. But she showed me something that turned me completely against you. I understood everything as to why you weren't asking Isaac about me. As to why Isaac never looked at me and why his eyes never left you, why they zeroed on you every time. Everything was clear."

"No! Lia-"

"At that moment all I felt was anger and the more Maddie said those words the more it riled up inside me. I was hurt because I had thought of you as my best friend and you had betrayed me. All you needed to do was tell me you like him and I'd have sacrificed my love for your sake Sophie. But that- that was not something I can forgive. All this time I had thought you liked Carter but when I saw the picture of you and Isaac making out openly in the hall, I couldn't control my emotions. Why did you do it Sophie? Why?"

So this was all about that.

"Maddie did nothing but fuel the fire burning inside me and I spoke to Carter. I talked to him when I spotted him rooted in his seat with you sleeping on his arms. Knowing about his anger issues I was sure he'd do something. And at that time I wanted nothing but to show you the consequences of what you had done."

"Lia- I swear... I-" I tried to say but nothing came out of my mouth.

"Carter thought that you were cheating on him and he blew up. Jack looked like he was waiting for something like this to happen. And Isaac was no where to be found. That only confirmed what Maddie had revealed and there was no way she could've made up all the things." I heard her sniff. My body felt like trash to me. I knew that it wasn't my fault, it was Isaac's; but even then I felt guilty for betraying my friend.

And the thought about what Carter might've been thinking about me drove me crazy. He might've thought of me as a slut, a whore. And for that I was angry at him. How could he believe what he was told. Did he not have even an ounce of trust in me? He could've approached me, talked to me. But all he did was side with my enemies. Who even knows if all he did in the past days was an act. A new way to bully- by making me fall in love with him and breaking me in fine pieces.

"Can you blame me?" She sobbed. "All of this time I have been pouring my heart out to you but all you do is hide things from me. I was bound to be suspicious. And that morning you looked like something has happened but you never opened up to me. I got to know through Rebecca that you have attempted suicide three times before this one. God I feel so bad."

"I'm sorry Sophia. I was selfish. Look what my selfishness has caused. And to think I call myself your friend when I couldn't even sacrifice an idiotic guy for my you. I'm really sorry Sophie." Her arms were wrapped around me in a warm hug.