rita skeeter had written a new article. and everyone was talking about its contents. rita had made elara out to look like a whore. ron and hermione were staring at her concernedly. elara's face had gone red, and so had her hair, but only just.

HARRY POTTER'S SECRET HEARTACHE

a boy like no other, perhaps — yet a boy suffering all the usual pangs of adolescence, writes rita skeeter. deprived of love since the tragic demise of his parents, fourteen-year-old harry potter thought he had found solace in his steady girlfriend at hogwarts, pure-blood elara lestrange. little did he know that he would shortly be suffering yet another emotional blow in a life already littered with personal loss.

it is heart-breaking, truly. harry potter had spent loads of money on her. only this christmas, he'd bought her a breathtaking necklace with the gemini star sign charm.

confirmation was given to us by sixth-year ravenclaw, andrea sweeney. "i was going to the astronomy tower with my date to stargaze, but when we walked in, they were in there, snogging!"

miss lestrange, a wild and ambitious girl, seems to have lost the plot. two of her former roommates had complained of miss lestrange's frequent night terrors which included screaming, muttering, thrashing, and kicking. miss lestrange can also be seen either sleepwalking or wandering around the castle at night.

recently, miss lestrange's necklace has been sitting up in her dormitory.

rumors have confirmed a romance with hermione granger, a bright muggle-born witch, and between not one, not two, but three brothers with miss lestrange! it is said that fed and gorge weasley had fought over miss lestrange the night they tried to enter to tournament to impress her. there is no comment from aurora brightwind, gorge weasley's fae girlfriend, on the rumors.

the last weasley brother that is rumored to have a romantic relationship is reginald. "they're always laughing together," an anonymous source says, "nobody knows what they go on about, but reginald's always red."

confirmation of these rumors when reginald seemed to not be talking to neither harry potter or miss lestrange because of a spat over miss lestrange. miss lestrange seemed to have taken harry potter's side, but did she only so he would not be suspicious of reginald and miss lestrange's relationship?

a student comments on the rumors.

"she's always been a loner," says pansy parkinson, a pretty and vivacious fourth-year student, "but, she's pretty, there's no denying it. she has no personality, though. i suspect she's using intimidation."

miss lestrange's parents are, of course, the infamous bellatrix and rodulphus lestrange. they are currently serving a life-sentence on azkaban for over twenty charges of torture and murder each. is miss lestrange following down the dark path her parents did? in the meantime, harry potter's well-wishers must hope that, next time, he bestows his heart on a worthier candidate.

"i told you!" ron hissed at elara as she stared down at the article. "i told you not to annoy rita skeeter! she's made you out to be some sort of — of scarlet woman!"

elara stopped looking astonished and snorted with laughter. "scarlet woman?" she repeated, shaking with suppressed giggles as she looked around at ron.

"it's what my mum calls them," ron muttered, his ears going red.

"if that's the best rita can do, she's losing her touch," said elara, still giggling, as she threw witch weekly onto the empty chair beside her. "what a pile of old rubbish."

"so you and harry... didn't snog, then?" asked hermione.

"i would've told you if harry and i snogged. it was the other way around. that andrea girl burst in while we were stargazing, half-naked. and besides, the only person in mentioned that i would even consider having a romantic relationship is hermione," elara said jokingly, and hermione laughed.

elara looked over at the slytherins, who were all watching her and harry closely across the room to see if they had been upset by the article. elara gave them a sarcastic smile and a wave, and she, harry, hermione, and ron started unpacking the ingredients they would need for their wit-sharpening potion.

"there's something funny, though," said elara ten minutes later, holding her pestle suspended over a bowl of scarab beetles. "how could rita skeeter have known . . . ?"

"known what?" said ron quickly. "you haven't been snogging harry, fred, hermione, or george, have you?"

"no, ron. if i had snogged george, i'd be dead by now. if i had snogged fred, angelina wouldv'e probably attacked me. if i had snogged hermione, krum would've dropped me off a broom. if i had snogged harry, he'd be a lot redder than he is right now," said elara exasperatedly.

it was true. harry had gone deathly quiet, suddenly very interested in scarab beetle powder.

"it's just... how did she know i wasn't wearing the necklace?"

"you don't wear the necklace?" said harry quickly, looking up.

"no, i just forgot to put it on this morning," elara rubbed a hand around her neck, where the silver chain would usually be. "i mean, you saw it when you pulled me out the lake, harry. it was hanging over my robes. but how could rita skeeter have seen? it's really difficult to see... she hasn't been here . . . or has she? maybe she has got an invisibility cloak; maybe she sneaked onto the grounds. . . ."

"fascinating though your social life undoubtedly is, miss lestrange," said an icy voice right behind them, and all four of them jumped, "i must ask you not to discuss it in my class. ten points from gryffindor."

snape had glided over to their desk while they were talking. the whole class was now looking around at them; malfoy took the opportunity to flash POTTER STINKS across the dungeon at harry.

"ah . . . reading magazines under the table as well?" snape added, snatching up the copy of witch weekly. "a further ten points from gryffindor . . . oh but of course . . ." snape's black eyes glittered as they fell on rita skeeter's article. "potter has to keep up with his press cuttings. . . ."

the dungeon rang with the slytherins' laughter, and an unpleasant smile curled snape's thin mouth. to harry's fury, he began to read the article aloud.

" 'harry potter's secret heartache . . . dear, dear, potter, what's ailing you now? 'a boy like no other, perhaps . . .' "

harry's face was impossibly red. snape was pausing at the end of every sentence to allow the slytherins a hearty laugh. the article sounded ten times worse when read by snape. when snape reached the part with ron, ron turned as red as his hair. hermione began to blush as well when she was mentioned. elara was able to keep calm, although she was metamorphosing her skin to stay the same.

" '. . . harry potter's well-wishers must hope that, next time, he bestows his heart upon a worthier candidate.' how very touching," sneered snape, rolling up the magazine to continued gales of laughter from the slytherins. "well, i think i had better separate the four of you, so you can keep your minds on your potions rather than on your tangled love lives. weasley, you stay here. miss granger, over there, beside miss parkinson. miss lestrange, next to mr. malfoy. potter — that table in front of my desk. move. now."

elara calmy collected her things and dragged her cauldron over to where draco was laughing. she set up her things in order, taking extra time to set the scarab powder just right.

"i might be sorely mistaken, but i believe you're jealous, dear cousin," said elara smoothly as she began mixing the proper ingredients, not sparing a glance at draco. "tell me, was it fred or george? harry or ron? oh, what about hermione?"

that seemed to shut draco up. the silence was only broken by karkaroff bursting in, asking to speak to snape. he was doing that weird thing where he twisted his greasy goatee. karkaroff reminded elara heavily of jafar from the muggle movie, aladdin.

karkaroff hovered behind snape's desk for the rest of the double period. he seemed intent on preventing snape from slipping away at the end of class. there was two minutes until the bell, so draco hastily cleaned his station up and made way for the door. elara followed soon after, smiling to herself.

as elara was following behind hermione and ron to leave, karkaroff shoved his way past her. he looked both worried and angry. right after, harry collided with elara at top speed and immediately sprung into detail about what he overheard karkaroff and snape chatting about.

the next day, they returned from hogsmeade from meeting up with sirius, who had told them that barty crouch's son was a death eater who had died in azkaban.

the morning after, elara had received many letters, some from whom she had no idea. the first was from nymphie.

lara,

i know i shouldn't believe the hogwash that skeeter cow puts out, but did you snog harry? i always thought you two would look cute together. also, if you're gay, its okay, i'm cool with it. so would my mum. my dad.... well, he's gone on a bit of a riot. he doesn't think you've done all that stuff (i think) but he's angry at skeeter. please tell me if you've snogged harry. i've got kind of a bet running, doesn't matter who.

you're favorite cousin/sister,

nympie

"who's that from?" said ron, mouth full of toast.

"oh, just nymphie," said elara, setting aside the letter.

she reached for another one, and the message was not so nice. "you are a wicked girl. harry potter deserves better. go back to azkaban, death eater. oh, really! that's original. they're all like it!" said elara exasperatedly, opening one letter after another. "'harry potter can do much better than the likes of you. . . .' 'you deserve to be boiled in frog spawn. . . .' hey -- ow!"

she had opened the last envelope, and yellowish-green liquid smelling strongly of petrol gushed over her hands, which began to erupt in large yellow boils.

"undiluted bubotuber pus!" said ron, picking up the envelope gingerly and sniffing it.

"real nice," said elara bitterly.

without another word, she stood up gracefully and strode out the hall to the hospital wing. she ignored the dirty looks of the students that came to pass; she had dealt with this all before. it'd blow over soon. another thing would happen, and they'd forget all about it. however, elara flinched when someone threw the word, "slut" at her quite loudly in a hall full of third years.

madam pompfrey fussed over elara, pouring different remedies over her hands all while muttering about insensitive people. elara had to miss herbology, which truthfully, she wasn't upset about. finally, madam pomfrey bandaged her scarred hands and set her off with a note.

she took her time in going to care of magical creatures. elara was certainly upset now. the rumors and looks and whispers and insults had been bad before, but never had she been injured or called a slut. elara hadn't even had her first kiss yet, and people are assuming she'd shagged four guys and a girl in the span of not even six months.

thankfully, aurora wasn't angry. elara didn't know why she expected aurora to be, seeing as it was aurora, the most mellow person she'd ever met. aurora had a free period, and they sat down in the courtyard. she rubbed elara's back and tears ran down her face. elara had never been one for crying, especially in front of others, but everything was just becoming too much.

finally, with a hug, aurora let elara continue down to care of magical creatures.

elara wished her hair was down, so she could hide her face. madam pomfrey had tied it up for her using a clip to ensure no pus got in her raven locks. although, elara was able to make it appear as if she hadn't been crying for the past ten minutes as she neared hagrid's hut.

"... oh there y'are, lara!"

after the lesson was over, elara told hagrid everything that had happened. he had informed her to just chuck all hate mail into the fire, no questions asked. he had also received a large amount of hate mail himself, to which elara was scandalized and asked if there were any addresses on the envelopes hagrid still had.

hate mail continued to arrive for elara over the following week, and although she followed hagrid's advice and stopped opening it, several of her ill-wishers sent howlers, which exploded at the gryffindor table and shrieked insults at her for the whole hall to hear. after elara had cried and been comforted by aurora, she felt like her old, confident self again. while the howlers were hurling insults, elara sat there with either an amused or a bored expression on her face.

even those people who didn't read witch weekly knew all about the supposed harry-hermione-ron-fred-george-elara hexagon now. harry had been telling people all week that elara was, in fact, not his girlfriend.

hermione had begun to use all her spare time to figure out how rita had been getting all this information. she'd even gone as far to talk to moody, which was no easy feat, as moody's terrifying. harry suggested elara might've been bugged. elara and ron were beyond confused, but hermione was indignant. she wanted justice for elara. elara wanted justice too. harry and ron didn't want to help, so they worked relentlessly by themselves. maybe it was adding fuel to the fire that hermione and elara are having a gay affair, but they didn't care. krum kind of did.

elara had finally been able to write nymphie back once her hands were more flexible again.

nymphie,

someone sent me an envelope full of bubotuber pus, so now i'm a cripple. anyways, no, i did not snog harry. i did not snog hermione. i did not snog fred. i did not snog ron. i did not snog george. i've been getting hate mail all week. is this what its like to be famous? because jesus christ, no thank you. although, some of the mail i've been getting have some really good insults, so i'm storing them for later.

but, you'll be happy to know that i actually almost did kiss harry if that andrea girl hadn't burst in. in a way, i'm glad she did, because that would've meant that my time of having friends would be officially over. i fancy harry, yeah? but its nothing more than a schoolgirl crush. i promise.

from your favorite cousin/sister,

lara

turns out mrs. weasley read witch weekly, which meant she'd heard of how elara snogged three of her sons, harry, and hermione. mrs. weasley had sent harry, ron, and hermione easter eggs the size of dragon's eggs, and elara had gotten one barely the size of a chicken's egg.

may started to bleed into june, which meant that it was time harry was going to find out what the final task was to be. harry returned some hours later, and explained all in one go that the final task was a maze. and then, harry told elara that he explained to krum that elara and hermione were just friends, and that hermione is definitely just into guys, but harry wasn't entirely sure about elara. elara laughed and confirmed she was just into guys. but then she made a joke about not minding if ginny wanted to snog, who overheard, and began to play along. they flirted back and forth, leaving harry more confused than he already had been

"yes, harry, i'm solely into guys. but -- "

"no!" cried ron from his chair, "its weird enough that other guys keep flirting with ginny. not you too, lara!"

"she just can't help it," said ginny, leaning against elara's legs. "i'm irresistible."

ron groaned loudly.

harry then launched into a full explanation that he and krum had seen mr. crouch emerge out of the woods, looking like he'd been traveling for days, and that he'd been talking to himself before his eyes rolled into the back of his head. part of elara thought it served mr. crouch right, but he was obviously out of his mind. he began explaining that harry had ran to get dumbledore and left mr. crouch with krum, but when harry and dumbledore arrived, mr. crouch was gone and krum was stunned.

karkaroff went into a rage and he and hagrid got into a fight of sorts.

"bloody hell."

AUTHORS NOTE

-- kind of a short chapter, my bad

JANUARY 22, 2020