《Soul Bonded [Claude De Alger Obelia x reader ]》72. Seeing The Real You
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The crescent moon shone upon the lake that reflected the distorted image of two silhouette, encapsulated in the world where time had stopped for both of them.
The rustling of leaves, the whistling of the night breeze blowing fell away as you were captured in the haze of warmth and heat emanating from Claude.
A distant sound of something breaking was heard from deep within you and a feeling of utter freedom washed over you. It was like the burden of the world had slipped off your shoulders and you could finally breath properly.
The chains of past that bound you to your despair and isolation broke one by one and the warmth of another engulfed you.
You breathed out softly when Claude pulled away slightly, cocked his head to a new angle and dipped back to kiss again with more fervour and longing.
The kiss was more than a physical show of affection. Claude wasn't good with words. Nor was he good at showcasing his feelings and emotions. The kiss was his way to make you understand his heart.
Communicating things verbally he couldn't. He wanted you to understand his desperate longing for you, his anguish and despair at losing you, his happiness and gratitude to have you back and finally the love had for you for a long time but was too afraid to show. The feelings he kept running away from, he was ready to accept it wholeheartedly.
The deep, vulnerable feeling of love that he once turned away from, too afraid of being hurt by it, now he wanted to experience it with you. With you, the idea of being utterly vulnerable and exposed with all his scars and darkness bare for you to see didn't seem frightening anymore.
You shivered as you felt every bit of his emotions through the connection of your lips. The vibration of his rapid heartbeats beating in sync with yours under your clenched fist solidified the unbreakable connection and bond you had with him, no matter how many times you tried to break away from it.
Without warning tears welled in your eyes and cascaded down your cheeks.
Claude winced in surprise when he felt warm liquid trickling down your cheeks and onto his hand. Pulling back slightly Claude stilled, squinting at the sight of tears in your eyes he starting to hate so much.
Did he do something wrong? Was he too forceful? Rough? He knew he shouldn't have let the exhilaration and eagerness of finally being able to kiss you, taste you, feel you take control of him. He should have kept his feelings in check. Now he gone and hurt you--
"I love you too."
Claude's thought came to a screeching halt. His mind drew a complete blank as he merely stared at you with his eyes filled with shock.
More sorrow, guilt ridden tears filled your eyes and trickled down your cheeks. Your swollen lips quivered as you cried, "All this time I denied it. I rejected it. Because I was afraid..afraid I'd get hurt again." You let out a small sob. "And I'm s-sorry... because of it I hurt you too..."
Claude could hardly process anything. His mind was selfishly stuck on the fact you loved him. He was so sure he had to work hard to have his feelings reciprocated, to win over your heart. And yet here you were saying you loved him and were hiding it, just as the same reason as him.
Claude's heart jumped as the words slowly and finally sank in. You loved him. You loved him. It wasn't his delusion. Nor was it a mere fragment of dream manifestation of his hope and longing.
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You love him.
Claude's lips curled up in a small smile. Though the smile was barely there, barely visible, his whole face was lit up with genuine happiness. Completely oblivious of it, he stared at you, the small smile still tugged at his lips and fought against the rising impulse to kiss you till the only thing you remembered would be him and the godawful tears would stop spilling out of your eyes.
He quashed down the urge, sensing it wasn't time to divulge in his desire since you were still speaking, bearing your heart to him. He needed to clear his mind and focus.
"(Y/n).."
"No, no, let me say it. It's been eating me alive for so long. I need to own up for my actions or else I'd never be able to move on and start anew." You said, voice heavy and cracking with the regret. The softness of his voice when he called your name only amplified your guilt. You laid your head on his chest, felt the vibration of his heartbeat. It was peaceful, soothing sound that calmed the turmoil running amok inside you.
You were such an idiot. If only you had found your courage earlier, if only you had looked past your despair and fear, you could've had the love you longed for so long.
The realisation made you cry harder.
Ever since you came back, you been nothing but cold and distant towards him. Always wary and cautious of him, doubting his every word when you knew he wasn't the one to lie. He deflected, yes but he never lied. Not when it comes to matter of his heart which happened rarely.
Though he was cold and at times ruthless, he always tried his best to be more gentle with you. Now you knew the reason behind that was because he loved you made your cruel and harsh to him all the more tormenting.
It was your fear and despair that drove you to push him away completely. It was never your intentions to make him feel like he was some monster, a fact you only realized when he called you out on it the day in his office. You even compared him to his father, the one he loathed so much.
You gave him so many reasons to hate you. Gave him so many incentives to push you away and yet he never did.
"I'm sorry...for everything." Your voice was small, remorseful. You gasped when Claude yanked you back to stare straight in your eyes sharply and clicked his tongue in annoyance. The light feelings bubbling inside his chest turned into heavy, tar like, suffocating him.
"Stop apologizing." Claude said, watching you with strained expression, eyes filled with a emotion akin to guilt and regret. When you blinked at him with shimmering teary eyes, he sighed. His eyes strayed away from yours, instead locked on the reflection of you on the surface of the rippling lake, too ashamed to meet your eyes. "I should be the one apologising...for everything. I was an idiot back then."
His hair fell over his eyes, and casted a shadow to conceal his expression. His chin was quivering slightly, jaw ticking at the force he had clenched them.
"If back then I wasn't so stupid and had kept my emotions in check, I wouldn't have gotten so easily manipulated. Wouldn't have become a puppet dancing in another's palm." He swallowed painfully. "And you would've never left me...All because of my naivety and foolishness, I lost you... It's all my fault. So stop apologizing."
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You blinked many times, taken back, before your expression softened, eyes filled with tender sympathy. Your opened your mouth to let him know it wasn't his fault, he wasn't the one to blame when the person he trusted his feelings with betrayed him, the people that should have stayed his side betrayed him but you shut up.
Wouldn't it invalidate the vulnerability he's showing? He gathered his courage to own up to his actions, be vulnerable and you were going to brush it under the rag with simple okay. It would be demeaning to him.
"You hurted me a lot, Claude" You said, watching him carefully as he flinched. Your heart tugged but you continued what needed to be said. "You didn't care to listen to me. Didn't believe me either. It hurt me a lot since you promised me you'd believe me now matter what."
Claude's face crumpled. He froze, completely recoiling away. Without facing you, he numbly listened to your words with solemn, grim look in his eyes. Even when he wanted to refute you, he knew deep down his actions made you believe it. Self hatred coiled around him, tightening his lungs till he couldn't breath.
"I felt discarded, used when you completely ignored me in favour to spent more time with Penelope. It hurt me a lot. It made me sad too."
Thick silence drifted inbetween you and him. The air tensed and dropped in temperature. Even the cool night breeze felt like sharp edge of ice.
A weak smile fell on your lips. "I really thought I was nothing to you. No more than passing stranger that you met at coincidence and kept around at your convenience."
You paused. His expression was unreadable but the slight tremor of his body, the way his eyes avoided your eyes spoke volumes of impact your words had on him.
Cupping his face you coaxed him to look at you. You waited till he found the courage to look at you. You lips twitched up into a warm smile. Your fingers glided over his cheeks in soft tender motion, completely captivated by his sapphire eyes. Though the lifeless glint in his eyes bothered you.
Sighing softly, almost dreamily, you continued. "But then I saw it. I saw how you struggled to express yourself. Saw your kindness veiled within the facade of your apathy. I saw everything your actions wanted to convey. I heard every word you struggled to say. I felt every emotion you wanted to show. I saw you." Claude trembled, life slowly entered his eyes, washing away the look of despondency and melancholy. Your smile widened. "Not the man hiding behind facade of apathy and indifference, who was uncaring and at times ruthless and full of darkness but the man who wanted to reconcile, the one who wanted to reignite the bond we had, the one who hoped to mend the ties we broke and regain back what we lost. I saw the real you, Claude. The you I fell in love with."
Disbelief and shock washed over his features before it slowly morphed into pained look. He took a shuddering breath, not resisting when squashed his face playfully.
"So you earned it, Claude." You said with smiling broadly. A single tear trickled down your cheek as the guilty burden lessen by each words exchanged with him. Your resentment too was diminishing. "My forgiveness."
Claude's expression evidently stiffen in surprise. You smiled tenderly as you let the final burden fell off your shoulders. Took a step the end the bitterness and resentment.
"I forgive you, Claude."
Stunned, Claude gawked at with unblinking wide eyes.
The soft look in your eyes carried a strong relief and happiness.
How tables had been turned. Before you were the one who stubbornly reached out to him despite his initial refusal. He was showing the same obstinacy, persistently reaching out to you despite your initial coldness.
It made you love him all the more. Now that you knew he loved you, you didn't want to waste any seconds on resenting and fearing something you couldn't change. You wanted to move on. Surprisingly, Claude helped you take the first step forward.
You lifted your head up, gazed at his eyes that were tinged pain instead of it's usual detachment and apathy. His eyes shone like sapphires, reflecting the moonlight. His golden strands fell over his eyes, dancing back and forth as the night breeze blew. He was shinning more beautifully than the moon itself. More than the midnight sky filled with glittering stars.
He was simply breathtaking.
And he choose you, a simple girl who had nothing on her. A girl he could have easily given up on to find someone more deserving.
"Thank you Claude," You whispered, grabbing his neck to pull him down to connect your foreheads. You heard his sharp intake, felt him stiffen. He still was reeling back, processing what you said, the heavy implications behind it. You hummed softly and his attention snapped back to you. Your breath caught pleasantly as his sapphire eyes bore into yours intently. A small teary smile crossed over your lips. "For not giving on me. For holding for both of us. I love you. I really, really love you."
You closed your eyes as more tears of relief spill out from deep within your tattered soul that was slowly starting to mend itself anew. "So let's start anew. This time let's build something unbreakable together. A strong bond that won't crumble no matter what might come. "
"How about," Reaching down, you caught his pinkie with yours, lacing them together you said excitedly. "our Forevermore?"
"Forevermore...?"
"Yeah, yeah. I know it's sounds cheesy and all but I really like the word and what it implies. Wouldn't it be fantastic way to start something brand new! Our new start that will last as long as we live and even beyond. Something exclusive just for both of us!"
His shoulder trembled, blue eyes turned glossy as emotions as overwhelmed him leaving him unable to answer you right away. You didn't mind, only smiled reassuringly, encouragingly as you stared at him eager, hopeful eyes. He briefly closed his eyes before a steel resolve cemented in his eyes.
Grasping your pinkie firmly, he brought it up to eye level, let it hover between you both as a silent conviction and promise for the new future.
"Our forevermore." You smiled brightly and with great eagerness bobbed your joined pinkie up and down genuine happiness clear on your face. "C'mon Claude, say it!"
"You said it. That should be enough. For both of us." Claude said bluntly, the tips of his ears coated red. You blinked, baffled.
"You don't want to because it's too cheesy for you? Is that it?" When you smiled cheekily, he become distraught and flustered, averting his eyes which made you giggle. Ah, something never change. He still wasn't comfortable with being intimate and lovey-dovey, let alone cheesy. Despite that, he let you have your way and gone along with your silliness was deeply touching
Smirking devilishly, you got into his face and said with feigned sadness, "C'mon, that's not how pinkie promise works. You got say the oath loud or else it'll be one sided! One word, Claude. It's just one word. Say it."
Claude backed in corner by your puppy eyes, slightly scowled. He grumbled under his breath, "Yeah, whatever. I promise it'll be our Forevermore."
"See! It's wasn't that hard." You teased, crossing your arms and smirking proudly. "You worked yourself up for no reason. Then again you always did. Remember when I tried to give massage the first even then you-- Mmph!"
Before you could finish, Claude grabbed you the hair and pulled you in a rough kiss. Placing his hand on your lower back, he pulled you closer, tangling his fingers in your hair. It took few seconds for you to overcome your surprise, you sank in the searing heat and kissed back. You felt his gratitude and love washing over you.
You gulped up for air as he pulled back just a inch and grumbled, "You just have to make everything so dramatic."
Against his lips, you smirked playfully, "Life would be boring without drama, Claude. I'm just bringing in the fun."
Claude rolled his eyes, a small smirk of his own formed on his lips. His arms circled around you, he embraced you, pulling you flushed against him. Burying his his face in to your neck, a sigh of relief left him as he murmured softly against your skin. "And you're back to the annoying girl l know."
A shiver travelled up your spine as his warm breath hit your sensitive skin. Ignoring the raising heat on your cheek, you sighed. Admittedly you felt guilty for worrying everyone for the past weeks.
In everyone eyes you probably looked like a depressed potato.
As you were about to apologise when a certain flash of white in the inky darkness caught your attention. Hastily you tried to break out of his tight embrace, a excitedly, almost childish fell in your lips as your eyes brightened up.
"Claude, look! A shooting star!" You shouted, smacking his back when he made annoyed noise and refused to let go. "Quick, make a wish before it disappears!"
He spared a monotonous look at the flash of white in the sky, arms still locked around you and deadpanned. "I don't have a wish. I just regained everything I lost. There's nothing more I want."
Your head snapped towards him as a deep blush spread on your cheeks. He stared back at you with glowing half lidded blue eyes, looking completely content and you grew more flustered as your heart raced while butterfly fluttered in your stomach.
You scratched your cheek with a sheepish expression, "In that sense I don't have to make a wish either since I have everything I want now."
A breathless laugh left you and your whole face lit up brightly as you lovingly stared at him. Yep, you had everything you ever longed for. Everything you ever hoped and wished for. It was miracle. You didn't need more.
Because you have your own 'Forevermore'. A promise of e everlasting love and trust.
"And wishing on some falling piece of stone wouldn't make your wish come true."
"Don't ruin the moment, dammit!"
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