You internally signed

Playing with the stray strand of your sleeve, you absent-mindedly glanced around.

It was a bland, simple office, except for the books lined up on the walls and the work desk Claude sat behind, the room was practically empty.

So fitting for its bland master. You thought drily.

The scribbling sound continued, slowly lulling you into deep boredom and sluggishness.

It was hard to fight off the sleep and your restlessness.

You sighed again, slumping against the cushioned seat.

"Quit sighing,"

In response to Claude's monotonous command, you let out a long drawn sigh.

It ticked him off evidenced by the chilling glare.

"If your majesty is bothered by me, you should send me away." You suggested and shrugged your shoulder. "It's not like you need me anymore. I'm sitting here for the past hours doing absolutely nothing--"

"--But annoy me. Is it really hard to keep your mouth shut?" Claude cuts you off, commenting sarcastically without looking up from his work.

It kinda pissed you off.

"My mouth has a mind of its own. It likes to ramble off especially when bored." You shot him a small sarcastic smile.

Claude let out an indifferent hum, eyes focused on the documents. "I can certainly think of many ways to keep your mouth in check."

Still smiling sarcastically, you shook your head. "I'll pass. Your Majesty seems already busy enough. I don't want to waste your precious time."

"Time doesn't hold any meaning for me. I wouldn't worry about wasting it."

Third time. It was the third time a small bickering broke out. Of course, you were the instigator as usual. And Claude didn't back away from your method of getting under his skin. Finding his ways to get on your nerves.

It was bugging to no end why he didn't just kick you out. Your burnt hands were useless and he had to use them for any service. He was keeping you here for no reason.

The punishment was all but forgotten.

You stared at his concentrated expression. The earnest way he was focused on his work. There was an attractive quality to his working profile.

Damn him for being so irresistibly attractive.

You now knew he cared for you just the tiniest bit, it still didn't soften his nasty attitude toward you. Didn't soften the fear and resentment you had towards him.

You felt like smashing your head against the wall to harbour hope. But you couldn't extinguish it. You were unable to douse off the flickering hope because of your lingering feelings. And that made you angry. Yet hopeful.

The office fell silent again.

You started fidgeting. The silence always made you uncomfortable. You never liked it. Your mind in silence always went to dark places. Places you rather not visit. At all.

Your mind wandered off despite your efforts to keep it on a rein.

Travelling back in time, you came to a past to rewrite the tragedy, to prevent it from happening. Save Athy from dying from his tyrant father. Save yourself from dying at hands of the person you once loved.

It was still hard to believe such a thing could happen.

Your eyes glazed over as you stared into nothingness. Though you made peace with the fact that you could never see your parents, and never go back to the life you had, some corner of your mind still thought about. A life where you could be oblivious to a past that had ripped your spirits into bits and pieces.

If given a choice would you have come back to a past that did nothing but hurt you?

"Your majesty," You blurted out, without giving it much thought. "if you get a chance to go back in past and make a difference, would you do it?"

Claude paused and looked at you. "What kind of nonsense is that?"

"It's a hypothetical question." You said trying to sound nonchalant but your heart thumped nervously. "Let's just say, if you get a chance to right the wrong of someone from the shitty past to make a positive difference in your present, would you do it?"

Claude cocked his head to the side, trying to get a good read on you and the sudden topic.

Something flitted within his indifferent blue eyes. Observing you for a few more seconds, he finally answered. "Why would I waste my time correcting the wrongs of others."

You swallowed thickly, trying not to cower under his scrutinizing gaze. "Then what would you do?"

"I'd just kill the source of my problems," Claude replied causally in an indifferent tone.

You blinked before shaking your head in exasperation. "Of course, you would say that."

Contemplating, Claude asked, "Where is this coming from?"

You gulped and laughed to fend off suspicious. "I just thought it would be cool if I could back in time and erase my mistakes. I could live without any regrets."

Claude squinted at you curiously before replying, "Instead of going back in time, how about using it as a lesson to make your present better."

Your jaw dropped to the floor.

Claude narrowed his eyes, annoyance flitting across his face, "What's that look for?"

You picked your jaw from the floor and answered honestly. "That reply...I wasn't expecting that from you."

"Why?" There was a bite in his tone.

You hesitated for a second before replying sincerely. "You seem like the type to let the past better of you. And instead of taking the regrets as positive, you'd most like just avoid the same situation altogether."

Spoken like a true hypocrite. You wanted to scoff at yourself.

Claude fell silent.

You started sweating. Had you crossed the line?

Eyes darkening, Claude scoffed. "You speak as if you know me."

"Wish I did."

You instantly regretted it the moment it left your mouth. You wanted to cry. You had no self-control over yourself. Dammit.

A beat of silence where your heart threatened to stop. It didn't last long.

"You had your chance," Claude said in a deep resentful voice.

Your heart throbbed painfully.

Unresolved bitterness and resentment hung in and around you in a thick suffocating cloud.

You bit your lips, eyes hardening. "I hope Diana achieved what I couldn't."

You glared at him. It was a low blow. Once you regretted it almost immediately.

But he had no reason to be upset with you. You had tried your best to be there for him when he needed you the most. He was the one who pushed you away. Distant himself from you.

The guilt you were feeling wasn't yours to shoulder. The regret churning inside you wasn't yours to bear.

He was just as much at fault as you.

You cared for him, deeply but he was the one who forced you to stop.

And that was before you knew the past. Before you knew the horrifying end he would write with the blood of your loved ones.

Appearing completely detached, Claude stared at you blankly.

You took a deep breath so as not to give in to your bitterness. Feeling a bit more composed you asked one thing that was bugging for a long time.

"Diana," You paused, swallowing hard at his unreadable expression. "What did you do with her remains?"

You were really not expecting an answer so you were surprised when he replied, almost impulsively.

"Sent her back where she came from..." The next moment, his brows furrowed in slight perplexity. He muttered something inaudible and leaned forward, resting his forehead in his palm with a tight grimace.

Your brows furrowed in confusion. "Wait, what?"

"Shut up." He ordered sharply in a low, chilling voice.

You recoiled back, shoulders flinching at his cold voice.

Claude rubbed his forehead roughly, expression stiff.

You watched him warily, biting your lips as you mulled over his cryptic words. Sent her back? What did that mean?

Claude let out stifled groans, grabbing at his bangs with his eyes scrunched shut in a tight grimace.

"Argh.."

Your eyes widened in worry. "Claude?"

Another scratchy groan came from his throat. His hold on the pen had visibly tightened and was trembling slightly. While his other hand was covering his forehead, clutching his hair almost desperately.

You shot up on your feet. Striding towards his desk, you reached for him but wavered. Your hands hovered over his head, hesitating.

"Is it a headache again?" You asked softly, voice dripping with worry.

Claude gritted his teeth and didn't respond.

"Uh, sorry." You dropped your hand on his head and heard his sharp intake of breath as he tensed up. You quickly added. "I'm just going to check on you. Not to brag but I'm a bit experienced as a healer."

He remained quiet but his muscles had gone rigid.

Before it could get awkward you let your magic flow through your fingertips down his forehead. Your eyes immediately widened when your magic was repelled by something dense and impure.

"W-What?"

You tried again only to have your magic pushed away.

"What the hell?" You muttered in disbelief. It had never happened before. Your magic usually was compatible with anyone. This was the first time you felt resistance against your healing.

"Stop," Claude said through clenched teeth, voice strained. He grabbed your wrist and pushed you off.

"I'm fine," Claude said forcefully, straightening in his seat. "You can stop."

You didn't believe him. Sweat was rolling down his temple while his complexion had gone pale.

"You should call the Royal healer. You're clearly in pain. Last time too you had a headache. I would've helped you but, " Your voice turned to an embrassed whisper, "my healing is not working on you, for some reason."

"No," Claude shot you a glare. "Go back to your seat and stay quiet."

You stubbornly stood your ground. You opened your mouth to protest but he cut you off.

"Don't make me repeat myself," Claude growled.

You stared at him for a few seconds before letting out an aggravated huff you headed for the door.

"Where do you think you're going?" Claude demanded from behind you. His voice came out hollow and exhausted.

You said, heading for the door. "To make tea."

His eyebrows shot up. "Did I order to?"

"No, but I'm going to." You turned around, crossing your arms over your chest. "Your Majesty sure needs one."

His lips twitched downward. His gaze flickered down before locking eyes with you. "I don't want tea from your hands. Tell the staff to make one."

You pointedly made sure to slam the door loudly.

"Ouch!" You shook your hands stinging from pain. "Stupid Claude. Dammit!"

Defying his orders you made the tea using your magic. At that point you were so done with him, you didn't care if he doubled the punishment.

Why were you doing this? Making tea even with burnt hands. You had no damn idea. It's just, Claude's pain was prickling you. It annoyed you that you couldn't ignore it.

You slammed open the door. A single teacup was hovering in midair supported by your magic.

You fought back a shudder when your eyes landed on Claude.

Blues eyes that moments ago were empty voids now had a chilling dead look. A vacant, broken expression plastered on his otherwise cold, apathetic face.

"I remember now...." He murmured lifelessly

"Claude?" You breathed out, heart constricting within your ribcage like a knife was being stabbed at it.

Claude looked up and stared at you, distant eyes blinking in focus. He stared few seconds as if he had completely forgotten you and was finally noticing you were present in the same room as him.

Startling fast, his hollow, broken face returned to his stoically cold expression and dead blue eyes went back to an emotionless void.

You had to blink at his quick change of demeanour.

He silently continued staring at you. Emotionless blue eyes courting a strange empty look.

You cleared your throat, awkwardly. "T-tea," Cringing at your stutter, you tried again. "It's Lippe tea but with a twist of healing herbs in it. Don't worry, the additional ingredients won't disturb the taste of the tea. It would still taste like Lippe." You kept your voice lighthearted as you ranted off in nervousness.

Claude stared not responding.

A bit nerved at his unflinching gaze, you quickly placed the tea on his desk and sat back in your seat.

Claude glanced down at the tea unmoving. He spared you a glance before picking up the cup and taking a sip.

"Did you put your magic in it?" He murmured loud enough for you to hear.

"Yes," You said nervously, spine rigid at his unreadable tone. "And healing herbs. It's would help you with headaches and tiredness."

He stared at you with a strange expression. Then his brow furrowed and he appeared deeply disturbed and annoyed, finally breaking from his uncharacteristic vacant expression. "Maybe I should kill you after all."

"Or a small thank you would suffice, Your Majesty." You reflexively replied.

Claude fell eerily silent. His eyes were obscured by his blonde bangs, partially hiding his vacant expression.

You frowned. He was quiet again. Usually, he'd have threatened you or at least made a sarcastic retort but there was nothing.

What was wrong with him?

Sitting tense, you concentrated on him. He was back to his work, sipping the tea slowly in between checking the documents. You were glad he was enjoying the tea. It eased your worries a bit.

But...

There was something robotic and lifeless in the way his hands moved and the far-off look in his dead eyes sent chills down your spine

In silence, you thought back on the rest of the day. Claude threatened you a lot of times and yet not once did he do anything harmful. You provoked him several times and yet he didn't hurt you, only retorting sarcastically. Your guilt came back. Now that he wasn't being the heartless tyrant you declared he was, you felt remorseful.

And with his uncharacteristic behaviour, the feeling only worsened.

"I'm sorry." You started, voice low in guilt.

"For what?" Claude paused drinking and raised a single eyebrow in question.

You clarified. "The stuff I said at the lake. That was insensitive of me. I didn't mean to hurt you. I was angry--"

"I don't care." Claude cut you off coldly. "You already spoke words you can't take back. It's better if we don't discuss it. I don't know what I'd do once I'm pissed."

You shrank back at his sharp, menacing glare.

Claude scoffed, disgusted. "Who knows, maybe I'm like the late Emperor."

You jolted and shouted in refusal. "You're not!"

Claude stared then let out a humourless laugh. "You need to make up your damn mind. Either I'm a heartless monster or..." He smirked bitterly, eyes empty of any humour. "no, there is no other option. I'm just a heartless monster in your eyes. The one you decided to run away from."

You didn't say more. You couldn't say anything really, not get a word past the painful lump lodged inside your throat.

Hours passed. You sat there doing nothing. Just watching Claude doing his work. Suffocating in the heavy silence.

Mentally drained and exhausted to the bones, your eyelids became heavy. You blinked rapidly, forcing yourself to stay awake. Unable to keep your eyes open, you dozed off.

When you woke up you found yourself in your room with your hands fully healed.